I have spent so many days with my heart aching, tears welling up at any time, nightmares, not sleeping well, I think I have finally just wore my poor body out. I have chewed my jaw raw in my sleep. I woke up this morning with it so sore I can barely drink anything. I now cant keep any food in my system. I have spent most of the morning making mad dashes for the bathroom. I am still trying to eat and at least all the running is exercise.
I am taking a break. Im going to take a book and go to the pool for an hour and just shut out everything. It is time to "recenter" myself again. I cannot change what happened, I cannot bring back those who are now gone, I cannot stop the chain of events that has been set into motion. I will take it one day at a time, some will be good and some will be a little harder, but I will find my peace again.
I sure hope you feel better soon! I know that this awful tragedy has taken a toll on everyone and I am a firm believer that it HAS to get better. Just remember that we are always here for you to lean on You are one of the only phen members that I have spoken with more than once in chat and you have been really supportive to a lot of people so it is the least we can do to help you in your time of need. ((((HUGS))))
Nitra I wish so much that I could say something to make you feel better or calm your worried mind. Your advice has helped me so much on this forum - I wish I could return the favor- but you are right. We cant change anything - the only way I started feeling better was to know that feeling scared and helpless was just what they wanted and I refuse to do it.
---thinking of you in Ga---big smile and hug for you!