Dad made a rude comment about my weight
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  1. #17
    Gold Phenster thin4good's Avatar
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    I like what Yanie had to say about it. I know all about deadbeat parents, and the best thing I ever did was learn to forgive them. Now instead of getting mad at their judgment on my life, I feel sorry for them. Sometimes I even tell them that. Instead of getting mad showing someone who only knows how to be mean that they can't make you mad is actually 10 times more powerful.

    When I have a family member make a negative comment about anything, I'll often say something like, It makes me sad to know that you are so unhappy that you think nothing of trying to make other people unhappy. I really do hope somehow you can find some happiness in your life so that you don't continue to try to get delight from causing others pain. There's no joy in that, and it reminds me why I choose not to spend much time around you. For your sake, I really do hope you can find a way to find some good in your life.

    And be genuine... And I am when I say it. The first few times I wasn't I really did it more as a total shocker, but then honestly I realized I meant it. I also realized it allowed me to forgive and move past the hurt and anger, because clearly someone once hurt them once too, and honestly if I continue the anger, I'm just continuing the cycle. Best of luck.
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  3. #16
    Gold Phenster YANIE's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by vanilla0601 View Post
    I am so piissed. I've been feeling pretty good the last few days about my weight/progress. Then I let someone's stupid comment throw me off.

    I was just talking to my mom on the phone. We were talking about how she's cutting out fast food. I said I don't eat it anymore but need to stop getting it for my son. She said yeah because you don't want him to be fat when he gets older. In the background, my dad - who is/was a deadbeat dad - left when my sister and I were two and three and didn't help support us - didn't come to visit us for years - says "he's going to be that anyway" (talking about my son). My mom asked what makes him think that. He said "look at his mama and daddy". What kind of rude ish is that to say about someone when you know they can hear you? I had to get off the phone. The weird thing is my son's dad isn't anywhere near fat (he's smaller than my dad, actually).

    How do you let the comments not get to you? Even if the person is being just plain rude, do you just ignore it?

    Honestly, I don't think it was what he said that bothered you, not to neglect that his comment was impolite. However, I think it was the audacity, the nerve, to say anything about you is what got to your heart. I dont know first thing about growing up without a dad in the home, but someone close to me has and he is an adult who is constantly aggravated by anything his dad says. Like you his dad did not contribute financially, emotionally, and what he gave him, his dad always asked for it back. So I can relate in the sense, if you do not let it go.....Meaning forgiving your dad, no matter what he says, you are going to read it negatively, not to say that you do not have a right to be angry! I could totally be off the mark with my opinion! but keep your head to the sky....and push past the hurt! We have your back.......WAY BACK!LOL Just kidding
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  4. #15
    Bronze Phenster scarlip's Avatar
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    Consider the source at least you are raising your child. People like that are losers who want to bring everybody else down with them. Let it go. Move forward with your goals you will get there.



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  5. #14
    Bronze Phenster charms's Avatar
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    Awww, I'm sorry. I know it's your Dad, but you know not all parents know the right thing to say. You can't please everyone just yourself. You are taking the initiative to make healthier choices for you and your son that is to be applauded!!!!. I urge you to get a journal sort of as a sounding board in addition to coming on here and letting it all out. You will realize that being able to pen your thoughts help to relieve any type of stress and allows you to do better on the plan...KEEP GOING FULL STEAM AHEAD< YOU WILL GET THERE!!!

  6. #13
    Gold Phenster whathappened2me's Avatar
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    I will sooo admit that those type of comments get to me. They are especially hurtful coming from a parent. Deadbeat or not. I used to keep my thoughts and feelings in. But, then I decided you know what, relieving tension is like relieving gas there's more room out than in. I am not saying go postal on him. But, you have the right to protect your feelings and draw lines and boundaries. I am so sorry your dad said that to you. My dad represented the eptiome of dead beat so i feel your level of "pissivity". But, he needs to check his facts. This really burns me when people make assumptions about how someone elses life will turn out. First, genetics is only a factor in obesity. It is not an affirmative nor a sole predictor. Just look at cases where 1 parent maybe overwieght, but the other parent is rail thin. There are way to many other factors that play into someone future. Second, he is jealous. You have the heart to climb mountains and the strength not to be a victim, but a victor. Responsiblity to his kids appears to have been his Everest and he could not face it or climb it. So he tried to chop it down. You succeed at what he failed. Not necessarily weight, but raising your child, sticking to your goals and seeing them through to the end. I remember my dad calling me stupid because I let a friend dye my hair. I agree that I should have went to a professional, but I was sixteen. No one has the right to attack someone who did not provoke it. I remember crying for hours. I ran to my room and red my bible. I felt horrible. I came across a scripture that I still hold near and dear to me: "Can a mother forget her nursing child, and not show compassion on the son of her womb? Surely they may forget you, but see I have inscribed you in the palm of my hands." I not trying impose my beliefs on you. This just helped my realize that I am important. That I matter. No matter who or what comes against me or tries to hurt me. I know I am greater than any obstacle that anybody (including my ownself) tries to put in front of me. I do not think that you will quit trying to accomplish your goals because of what he said. But, when a bad day hits we remember and fuel off of the most unpleasant memories and then we get distracted in the moment. React how the moment dictates and make sure you won't regret your reaction. You are so close to your goal the haters are starting to come out of the woodwork.

  7. #12
    Silver Phenster ibluedragonfly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dancemom10 View Post
    Consider the source of the comment! Don't let him get you down. Your doing great for yourself and your son!!
    Dancemom10 said it so perfectly. I know exactly how you feel. It's never the comments from my loving husband telling me I am beautiful and sexy and looking great that I pay any attention to. It's those comments from people who intimidate me or are otherwise insecure in their own lives that I listen to - and it hurts! Stay positive, listen to those who are proud of you (and come to us on this forum). Staying positive and believing in yourself will get you to your goal. You're doing GREAT!
    As you think, so shall you be...

  8. #11
    Silver Phenster dancemom10's Avatar
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    Consider the source of the comment! Don't let him get you down. Your doing great for yourself and your son!!

  9. #10
    Silver Phenster goingforthin's Avatar
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    Vanilla, Send him one more text that says the following:
    The more I think about your remark, the more I marvel. Fortunately, losing weight is something people can take control of, making use of a stupid brain, well, not so much can you can do with that. So Sorry, you cant change what you have.

    That should set him straight.

    Vanilla, Keep doing what you are doing, success is yours for the taking!

  10. #9
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    vanilla0601- I so know what your going through my dad calls me fat,fatty,big all the time its just rude & so disrespectful I try not to let it bother me. I'm sorry that your going through this.I'm to & I know how it feels.
    Just Ignore him!! Try not to let it get to you!!

  11. #8
    Silver Phenster Kellbell19111's Avatar
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    Girl, you are such an inspiration!! Look at how much you lost so fast!! You are doing so great, PLEASE don't let his comment mess with your head!! Just let it make you stronger and want to do it for you and your son!! YOU GO GIRL

    Post-Pregnancy Weight 215 on 5/5/08
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  12. #7
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    I'm still ticked off. Cruisegirl, I guess I didn't do too well. I sent him a text message telling him his comment was rude and idiotic, and he needs to learn to not be an a**, at least when he's talking to or about me and my son.

    Jsmom, you're right. He doesn't know when to shut up. He talks crazy to everyone (because they let him). But I'm not going to allow him to do it to/about me.
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  13. #6
    Platinum Phenster cruisegirl1023's Avatar
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    See, you did way better than I would have done... I probably would have said "ya know what, it doesn't matter what he weighs, I won't be a punkass loser deadbeat and abandon him"... like I said, you did better than I would have. Don't listen to him. It sounds like he is just so miserable he can't stand to think about someone else being happy, so he puts them down instead... it's the best way to feel better about yourself ya know I'm so sorry... but you have done great, KNOW THAT!
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  14. #5
    Gold Phenster Mommy2Belle's Avatar
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    man what a jerk! just let it make you stronger and do it for you and your son. he doesnt have to wind up getting big when hes older. if he sees you are eating healthier now he will want to and grow up LOVING healthy foods.

    These 2 right here are my inspiration
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  15. #4
    Gold Phenster Jsmom's Avatar
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    It sounds like your Dad (no offense) just doesn't know when to shut up. For me it depends on who makes the hurtful comment, as far as how I handle it. If it's someone who I know is ignorant and talking out of their butthole, then I don't waste my time. They mean nothing to me. On the other hand, if it's someone that genuinely cares for me and my well being, I would talk to them about it after I coll off.




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  16. #3
    Gold Phenster LoSingWeightin08's Avatar
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    dont let negativity bring u down. ignore ur dad, he probably says stuff like that to get under ur skin.
    The proof is in the pics!!! <3





    Starting over again!!!!

  17. #2
    Gold Phenster katy625's Avatar
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    Unless you have super armour that kind comment would get anyone upset or annoyed when talking about weight. I would just blame it on his deadbeatness and realize no matter what he said, you have really done a great job! You're where I hope to be so I look up to you!
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  18. #1
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    Angry Dad made a rude comment about my weight

    I am so piissed. I've been feeling pretty good the last few days about my weight/progress. Then I let someone's stupid comment throw me off.

    I was just talking to my mom on the phone. We were talking about how she's cutting out fast food. I said I don't eat it anymore but need to stop getting it for my son. She said yeah because you don't want him to be fat when he gets older. In the background, my dad - who is/was a deadbeat dad - left when my sister and I were two and three and didn't help support us - didn't come to visit us for years - says "he's going to be that anyway" (talking about my son). My mom asked what makes him think that. He said "look at his mama and daddy". What kind of rude ish is that to say about someone when you know they can hear you? I had to get off the phone. The weird thing is my son's dad isn't anywhere near fat (he's smaller than my dad, actually).

    How do you let the comments not get to you? Even if the person is being just plain rude, do you just ignore it?
    No Phen
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    2/15 -- 194.2





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