OT: Need to vent/whine/complain...
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  1. #34
    Diamond Phenster gothprincess's Avatar
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    Thanks everyone for the support, but right now it's going downhill fast. We want different things right now.

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  3. #33
    Diamond Phenster Cmarie123's Avatar
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    I'm sorry Goth! My husband has similar issues with his job. He worked Easter, Memorial Day and the 4th of July. He works for the State Docks and they have been so overworked since Katrina. I think I would throw a B I T C H fit if he worked on our anniversary, let alone our 15th!!! CONGRATS! At least it looks like he will be off on Monday. You tell him he better do something impressive to make up for it!!!!
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  4. #32
    Diamond Phenster Band Mamma's Avatar
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    Growing apart is usually a fairly easy fix. What do you have in common that you could do/talk about. Each of you could begin flirting with each other more-at a time when you're not looking to get some. Start noticing things you appreciate about each other and speak it out loud.
    Start a new hobby/interest together.
    It can be done. It can also just be a natural flux in the relationship.

  5. #31
    Silver Phenster dancemom10's Avatar
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    I'm glad your talking again! Send your son to grandpa's house and do something together. Maybe going to counciling would be helpful, 15 years is a long time and it's common to "grow apart", but that doesn't mean it's over. I've been married for 13 years and sometimes it just seems like we are "friends", but I know I couldn't live without him. Marriage isn't easy and it consistently needs work, but your son is worth it!

  6. #30
    Diamond Phenster gothprincess's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by countryasadirtroad View Post
    I haven't been reading your stories, but it sounds like I would like to... where can I find them?

    I'm so glad he got Monday off... are you guys going to do anything.... make up s*x is always a nice option! Very close second to drunk s*x!
    The link to my blog is in my sig. I'll add more 'stories' soon.

    Not sure what we're going to do Monday. Son will be home unless he goes to grandpa's for awhile.

    We had a looonnnggg talk earlier and agree that we've drifted apart. Neither of us knows how to get back to where we were, but we both want to work things out. We're just hoping that we can be fixed.

    Thanx everyone for your support!! I really appreciate it!

  7. #29
    Gold Phenster stilltryin08's Avatar
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    Sorry your going through this.....15yrs is AMAZING these days..CONGRATS to you both!!!!!
    7lbs to goal
    "Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!"~anonymous

  8. #28
    Gold Phenster countryasadirtroad's Avatar
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    I haven't been reading your stories, but it sounds like I would like to... where can I find them?

    I'm so glad he got Monday off... are you guys going to do anything.... make up s*x is always a nice option! Very close second to drunk s*x!
    210lbs-170lbs 10/01/08 - 3mo of phen & 3mo of just D&E
    208.5 lbs 05/04/10 - Wk 0 (started phen again)

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  9. #27
    Silver Phenster yohkos's Avatar
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    Congratulations! Marriage is always filled with bumpy roads especially when money is needed. How about making a date with him to do something special when both of you will be available. I understand his wanting to make money for the house....it is all done with love. Men think differently and this is his way of showing his love for you. Does it really matter if you celebrate on a different date?

  10. #26
    Diamond Phenster gothprincess's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by soc wkr View Post
    It does sound like she is pretty strange! Getting matching tattoos with your brother is definitely different!
    Yep, she's the only SIL right now(my brothers aren't married). My one brother and I are going to get matching tats only because it's my design and his drawing...it's a celtic cross with trinity bands and a shamrock...we're Irish.

    As of this morning, things are still the same. He's still working Sat. but took Monday off. His company has 'mandatory overtime'. We are still fighting..fought again this morning. He thinks I'm not happy being married but I am.

    I have thought about it though, and we have nothing in common except our son and our love. We are the 'poster couple' for Opposites Attract. I used to be ok with it, because we still had fun and talked all the time about anything and everything. Now the only things we talk about are his work and our son, otherwise we just make 'small talk'.


  11. #25
    Gold Phenster Nursy Lori's Avatar
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    Can't he get OT next Saturday or the Saturday after. I mean, surely this is not the only day out of the whole dang year he can get OT. It's your flipping 15 year anniversary. Days like that don't come along very often and he needs to realize how special a day it is to you. I would tell him to take this one day off just for y'all and then he can work all the OT he wants after that (at least until the 20 year anniversary).

  12. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by gothprincess View Post
    My SIL is one of those people that can get under your skin and eat away at it. She thinks making 'incestous' comments to my hubby(her brother) and her father is funny. That's what I hate the most. She tried to talk hubby into getting a matching tattoo while she was here, but he told her no way. I have a blog site where I write 'porn on paper' (which hubby loves), but she called him one day telling him that she had seen it and couldn't believe that I was putting things like that on the internet. She was hoping he'd get mad, but instead, he informed her that he knew about it and it turned him on. She's a b*tch!!
    It does sound like she is pretty strange! Getting matching tattoos with your brother is definitely different! I hope she is your only SIL, I have three of them, none of them are blood related to my husband or I, I get along pretty good with two of them and then there is tthe other one! Good luck!

  13. #23
    Silver Phenster Sivad's Avatar
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    Congrats Goth on your 15 years.....sorry for the past year and all the struggle. Keep your head up girly I'm sure your hubby loves you very much. Don't feel guilty over wanting to spend time with your man, that's a luxury some of us don't have and we treasure it when we get it.
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  14. #22
    Diamond Phenster gothprincess's Avatar
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    When he left for work tonight we weren't talking. Maybe tomorrow will be better. Thanx everyone!

  15. #21
    Silver Phenster jenstarns's Avatar
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    Hubby sounds like his heart was in the right place-he knows how much you want to move. That being said telling him you want him to skip working so the two of you can spend time together is NOTHING to feel guilty about. His heart was in the right place but you are right you need to take the time to celebrate those 15 years. Congrats by the way that is great!!!!!
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  16. #20
    Diamond Phenster gothprincess's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by countryasadirtroad View Post
    I say... scr*w feeling guilty! Tell him "It's our anniversary d*mmit... now get naked!" If he says anything that makes you feel guilty, tell him to stick it up his A hole. If he doesn't say anything that makes you feel guilty, tell him to stick it up your A hole!!! LOL

    Sorry, I couldn't resist a little raunchy humor.
    Country, have you been reading my stories?!

    Hubby is great 95% of the time...it's just that 5% that p*sses me off. I told him I feel cheated because he decided to work. His reasoning for working Sat. to get the over-time is so we can put $$ into our savings to move.

  17. #19
    Gold Phenster mapgirl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by countryasadirtroad View Post
    I say... scr*w feeling guilty! Tell him "It's our anniversary d*mmit... now get naked!" If he says anything that makes you feel guilty, tell him to stick it up his A hole. If he doesn't say anything that makes you feel guilty, tell him to stick it up your A hole!!! LOL

    Sorry, I couldn't resist a little raunchy humor.

    OMG, I knew I liked you for some reason. Love it.
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  18. #18
    Diamond Phenster Band Mamma's Avatar
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    Oh, those crazy men!
    They feel such a drive to earn, earn, earn to take care of their family. It's been drilled into them so much (through osmosis or something) that they forget that perhaps their gal may think a bit differently.
    I know what you mean about the guilt. Five years ago I finally told hubby, "If I have to ask, mention, question, plan, hire the babysitter, and/or budget for it myself it just doesn't count!" We want men to be romantic, occasionally take care of everything, and show us outwardly how much they want to spend time with us. Men think the best way to show us they care is through things like making as money as they can, mowing the lawn, and taking out the trash. That's their version of romance. LOL
    Congrats on slogging through the 15 years. Yes, I mean slogging. I've been married almost 24 years and there were a few that I just kept hanging on until we started liking each other again. We've always been in love, but we haven't always been in "like." Know what I mean?

  19. #17
    Diamond Phenster gothprincess's Avatar
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    My SIL is one of those people that can get under your skin and eat away at it. She thinks making 'incestous' comments to my hubby(her brother) and her father is funny. That's what I hate the most. She tried to talk hubby into getting a matching tattoo while she was here, but he told her no way. I have a blog site where I write 'porn on paper' (which hubby loves), but she called him one day telling him that she had seen it and couldn't believe that I was putting things like that on the internet. She was hoping he'd get mad, but instead, he informed her that he knew about it and it turned him on. She's a b*tch!!

  20. #16
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    Your comment about your SIL sounds just like me!!!! I know I had a post on here about issues with extended family members, but anyway, that's funny. If I can ask, what is your "beef" so to speak with your SIL? My SIL is lucky that I did not deck her at her own wedding last month when she introduced my hubby to someone as her new BIL and stated that she and my hubby's brother (her new hubby) do not like my hubby! Then later in the night, she told my hubby that she was totally kidding when she said that......yeah right! She is a real piece of work!

  21. #15
    Platinum Phenster AuShucks's Avatar
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    AWWW Goth - sorry hubby has to work on your anniversary. Congrats on your 15 years !!
    Not to be male bashing or whatever ( since I was the only girl out of 4 kids ) BUT - men can be D I C K S !

  22. #14
    Gold Phenster thin4good's Avatar
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    Hey Goth,

    Congrats on year 15! I can definitely understand why you are bummed. I know I would be too. I wanted to give you a cool idea for a gift you could give him that could be a graet gift for both of you! A good friend of mine just celebrated her 10 year anniversary and instead of giving him a card she made him a list of her favorite moments/memories together over the years. She said she got the idea from a male co-worker who had done it for his wife. She didn't even put in any pictures or anything just quick little references to things like, watching him sleep on the couch with their son, or when they stayed up all night laughing over something. But the two of them spent the whole night reminiscing in a positive way. It made me think of a similar list for BF. Granted, I've only known him 5 years, but it really made me appreciate the good.

    Anyway, best of luck to you!
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  23. #13
    Gold Phenster countryasadirtroad's Avatar
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    I say... scr*w feeling guilty! Tell him "It's our anniversary d*mmit... now get naked!" If he says anything that makes you feel guilty, tell him to stick it up his A hole. If he doesn't say anything that makes you feel guilty, tell him to stick it up your A hole!!! LOL

    Sorry, I couldn't resist a little raunchy humor.
    210lbs-170lbs 10/01/08 - 3mo of phen & 3mo of just D&E
    208.5 lbs 05/04/10 - Wk 0 (started phen again)

    Mini Goal: 170lbs by my Vegas vacation in August



    Final Goal: 150lbs



  24. #12
    Diamond Phenster gothprincess's Avatar
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    He works for General Mills on 3rd shift(10pm-6am). His 'line' makes the biscuits for McDonald's/Hardee's/Burger King and the cinna-mini's for Burger King and biscuits and dinner rolls you can buy at the grocery store. They have a big order for the cinna-mini's(150,000 of them) so that's all the over-time.

    A weekend alone would be nice, but he has to work the next 2 for sure...possibly all of Aug., plus school starts Aug. 18th here so our son will going back to school. I barely saw him last week because his sister(who I hate...yes hate) was in town for a visit at his dad's. Him and our son were over there every night last week...I stayed home(it was safer that way so I didn't beat the crap out of her...lol).

    It's been a really s*kky day.

  25. #11
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    Just curious, gothprincess, what does you hubby do? It sounds like my hubby's type of work, mine is a union pipefitter/welder and he has been working a shut down at an oil refinery. So, I can totally relate!!!! It's great money, but it is hard on marriages and family time!!! We have been married almost 10 years, but we have had a lot of arguing lately and sad to say that a lot of guys he works with are divorced with the nature of the job and things, so tell him it is important to you that he spends time with you. My hubby's job is dangerous, so I always try to spend as much time with him as I can, I worry about his safety a lot! My hubby took last Sat. off to go to a motorcycle show and missed out on time and half, but hey, you have to live life too!!!

  26. #10
    Silver Phenster tinabean's Avatar
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    So sorry you have to be sad

    Don't feel quilty for wanting to be with your husband!
    I know how you feel.

    Sometimes men don't think things all the way through.
    He's thinking of the money ,but I am sure he wants to spend time with you.

    If he gets out of working Saturday just say "Thank you Honey! It really means a lot to me!"
    And give him the best dang day & night you can

    Take care and hang in there!
    Tina

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