Sorry, have to vent before I binge!!!
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  1. #12
    Diamond Phenster Band Mamma's Avatar
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    I agree that it is not your place to say anything. You will be considered an interloper and it will only cause more problems. It's hubby's place to handle it. If he doesn't, you simply let it go. I don't mean you put up with anything, you simply distance yourself and hand the phone to hubby every time one of them calls. I don't mess with his family and he doesn't mess with mine. My family thinks he farts butterflies because he doesn't argue with them.
    Your hubby may need this explained to him. Some men simply don't "see" what is happening or that it is abnormal because that's the only way he's ever seen his family act. If he disagrees with your perception or agrees and still doesn't say anything to them, it's out of your hands. Grieve the loss of your dream of how it would be and move on.
    Good luck!

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  3. #11
    Platinum Phenster Angela C's Avatar
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    That sounds like my husband,bil and mil.My husband and his brother has stopped talking.Well his mom used to call us-now she doesn't.She has always done for my bil and never my husband. My bil is a loser and my husband doesn't need or ask her for anything,it's just the point.Obviously she favors his brother. My bil is mad at my husband,so his mom stops calling him too? Very mature.

  4. #10
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    Kellgees, thanks and you are right, I don't want a confrontatiion, I just figure it's them and it's not really a big deal if they are gaga over the other brothers and SILs. I just get tired of how my hubby and I always have to be the ones to initiate any sort of contact with his parents and if we don't, then we just don't hear from them and they don't call to ask about the kids or stop by to see them (of course, when they do see the kids, then they act like they know everything about them which is annoying too!) Maybe grandparents are different than when I grew up, my brother and I went to our grandparent's house all the time and even went on vacation with just them to Florida for two weeks when we were older. Times change!

  5. #9
    Silver Phenster Kellgees's Avatar
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    I am the ANTI-CHRIST to my inlaws so much that they have never seen my daughter and she is 2 1/2 years old. My husband confronted them about how they treated me and it went horribly and they have not had a relationship for almost six years. It is long story involving my step-son's mother and lies but they believed everything even though I had known them since I was 18. I say all this to say why confront them as long as they are not being directly mean or disrespectful leave it alone. Remember we can make people stop being mean but we can't make them be nice. As far as your kids are your parents close to them? If so that's all they need.




    Highest Non-Pregnancy related weight 03/08: 279
    1st Weigh-in 6/18: 262
    2nd Weigh-in 7/15: 249
    7/25: 244
    Regained all weight plus some
    01/05 265
    01/10 255

    1st Mini goal: 2/05 235
    2nd mini goal: 03/05 225
    Ultimate goal : 210-215 by 05/15 Grad School Graduation!!!!

    Goals subject to change based on how I look and feel as I lose weight.

  6. #8
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    CMarie and Lady Shazerz, thanks, glad to know that I am not the only one!!! My hubby was definitely not my MIL's baby, in fact she gets mad because he is the main one of the three boys who is more independent and does his own thing, she does not like it that he has tattoos now or that he has a motorcycle! Oh well! In fact, she had to tell me how his middle brother (the apparent "favorite" right now anyway) told her that he thought my hubby was going through mid-life crisis early because of getting the tatttoos and the motorcycle, I told my MIL "Well, at least he does not go out partying, drinking and smoking and acts like a grown up, unlike my BIL and SIl who still want to act like they are in high school or something!" I can handle the tattoos and motorcycle any day!! I told my hubby what his brother said and he was just like "yeah, he's just jealous" which is what I thought too! Well, I don't plan on confronting them, I figure that is up to my hubby. I have had kind of confrontations with them before when we had our daughter (I had to hear my MIL always whine about how she had always wanted a girl and never got one) and my MIL did not want to follow the feeding schedule that my daughter was on, but she would not talk to me about it, she fought with my hubby over it and kind of ticked me off cause I thought, well I guess they do not even think enough of me to talk to me about it! Anyway, so sorry this is so long and drawn out for anyone who might read this, but like I said, glad to know that I am not alone!

  7. #7
    Gold Phenster Lady Shazerz's Avatar
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    have you said anything to them? I know confrontation is hard but maybe it would make you feel better to just say "Hey Dad, how come you can go look for your granddog but you can't watch your grandkids for an hour? I mean, is there a reason why you don't want to be with us or our kids? Please let us know so we will stop trying because it would make both of our lives much easier if you just let us know!! We would quit trying and you could quit making excuses!!"

    I mean, if things are tense already with you and them and your hubby and them, what harm would it do and maybe they would pull their head out?

    AND, I too know what you are talking about. I love my inlaws now but back in the beginning I nearly killed his mom. He was the first born too and no matter what, I had taken her baby. Maybe that is your IL problems too. Luckily my husband confronted her before I had too and said "Hey ma, this is my wife, she's the woman in my life and she will never replace you because she isn't my mother but she will get respect from you or you won't be welcome." She didnt' realize she was treating me bad and how it made me feel until he did that. Now we get along famously and I would hazard a guess that I'm the favorite. lol

    Maybe just a sit down with them would do you all good.
    Last edited by Lady Shazerz; July 26th, 2008 at 04:18 PM.
    Wearing these white jeans today...12/28/09..but man are they TIGHT!!




  8. #6
    Diamond Phenster Cmarie123's Avatar
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    I don't really get along with my in-laws at all. They favor my husband's sister and her family over us. I definitely know what you are talking about!
    3/10/08 - 12/01/08 (-55 lbs)
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  9. #5
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    Gothprincess, you made me feel better too! Luckily, I did not end up binging anyway, but my hubby came home and he was mad at his dad too becasue apparently my BIL and SIL were headed to Michigan to go to the beach so my father in law was going to supposedly look for their dog while they were gone? Whatever?! Apparently they are not all that concerned about finding their dog if they are going out of state to go to the beach!!!!!

  10. #4
    Diamond Phenster gothprincess's Avatar
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    I HATE my SIL!! There I said it. She was just here visiting her dad and my hubby for a week...she left today to go home. Let me tell you....I AM THRILLED SHE'S GONE!!! Ok, I feel better.

  11. #3
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    Thanks for the support stilltryin08! I think I am somewhat jealous, it is hard when you have been in your hubby's family so long and then you start to feel like an old piece of furniture, especially when there are new SIL's! There is also jealousy between at least my hubby's middle brother and my hubby, he gets jealous that we do well financially, but hey, that's the way it is! If we wants to do more with his life especially now that he is married, then nobody is stopping him! I wish we were a little closer to my in-laws and sometimes it does hurt, but like I said, my hubby and I are both to the point now where we just kind of let it go and if they want to see the kids, then they can maybe make some of the effort too! I feel lucky that my parents like to see them a couple days a week and even watch them for us, but I hate to ask them all the time! Yup, you are right, everybody is different and I guess not everyone is close to their in-laws!

  12. #2
    Gold Phenster stilltryin08's Avatar
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    good luck!!! It is always a pain in the rump when things like this happen. My ex-in-laws HATED me. I was the anti-christ. It was BAD. Now the the ex is re-married. They ADORE me and HATE her. Some families just can not see when they have a good thing. You are a good person. Maybe there is jelousy? No one can explain. I guess I am lucky now my current in-laws freak out if it is more than a few days until they see any of the kids...I took the 2 youngest 3 and 14 on vacation for 10days and I thought for sure that grandma would have a melt down until I got back she missed them SO much. Now in fact she has babysat the 3 y/o for the last 2 days just to spend time with her. But not everyone is like that. My own mother isnt at all "grandmotherly"

    I guess it just goes to show that everyone is different!!!
    7lbs to goal
    "Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!"~anonymous

  13. #1
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    Default Sorry, have to vent before I binge!!!

    I don't know if any of you have in-laws who really annoy you at times, but here is my story... My hubby is the oldest of three boys and we have been married the longest (10 years next year) his younger brothers, the youngest has been married almost 2 years and the middle one just got married last month. My father-in-law apparently adores the newest SIL as they are always joking back and forth about how she is the favorite! I am not sure why either as she has more baggage than about anyone I know, we did not even think she was going to make it down the aisle at the wedding as she was having a meltdown outside the church and my other SIL had to about push her into the church and I guess she drank a six pack before the wedding! Anyway, I generally get along pretty well with my in-laws, they live down the street from us and we see them every once in awhile, maybe a couple times a month if that, I know that they are really busy and have stress so we do not bother them much. I do, however, get perturbed that they do not see our kids (who are 3 and 1) very often. They have not seen the kids for about a month now. Anyway, my father-in-law did stop by this morning to help my hubby take stuff to the dump since I had to stay home with the kids and he told me how she had called them this morning saying that their dog had gotten loose last night and they could not find him so he is going to go and help them look. That really made me mad because we hardly ever ask them for anything because we really do not want to, but they will not even watch the kids for us when we had asked them a couple of weeks ago to watch the kids so we could just take a walk by ourselves, they refused to! Apparently, if my new SIL calls, they just come running! Sorry, so long and I am probably being a b***h, but it just makes me mad!!! That is generally why when it comes to in-laws, I don't mind seeing them, but I do not try to get too involved either!

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