I am furious what should do.....
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  1. #16
    Silver Phenster itzBabyPhat's Avatar
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    She may be a little jealous, I go through the same thing with my sister. We are both trying to lose weight but I am more into it than she is, so instead of complimenting me on my 18 pounds she ignores it (maybe because she has only lost 6 pounds in the same amount of time) . It can be a let down when you want people to notice that you are working hard. With the Phen my fuse is a little shorter, so instead of talking to her about it, I compliment myself around her (she may call it conceit, I like to call it confidence) and that forces her to acknowledge my accomplishment. Continue to focus on your goal and your actions will speak louder than any words you can say . Good luck to you, and stay focused.
    1/16/2009 Starting over is so f'in hard!
    7/1/08 251 lost 26 pounds, gained 21 back pounds by 1/1/09
    SW 246
    1/13/2009 241 w/Phen
    Started Low Carb
    01/19/2009 237
    02/23/2009 223
    03/29/2009 204
    04/16/2009 199.9
    05/04/2009 204.5 6 wk body makeover (mini)
    05/29/2009 188.32 (16 pounds in 3 weeks)
    08/10/2009 178.64 Slow but stil going
    09/19/2009 166
    11/1/2009 157
    1/30/10 166 tha holidays!!
    back at it no phen in 2 months grrrr!!



    Me 08/19 174

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  3. #15
    Gold Phenster Lady Shazerz's Avatar
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    I've noticed I'm getting a lot less tolerant of my best friend. Her attitude used to not bother me, I just blew it off. But she's a stresser and when she stresses, she snaps and is very sarcastic. I didn't notice it before because I loved her and my husband would always say "do you not see it?" Well, I see it now and it either has to be the Phen or that I've just been around her too much lately or maybe she's just super stressed but either way, we had our first real fight in 3 years last week. We made up quickly but I really laid into her.

    So, don't be so hard on yourself for being mad...if you hurt or maim her you can always claim prescription insanity. LOL
    Wearing these white jeans today...12/28/09..but man are they TIGHT!!




  4. #14
    Prncssmn7
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    She's jealous, pure and simple. It was all good when SHE was the one who lost the weight, but OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NO, you went and lost weight and didn't need gastric bypass to do it?

    Let her be a hater. I had my supposed BEST friend do that to me. She got drunk one day and had the nerve to tell me that she'd take the MASSIVELY gorgeous actor I was dating from me, which is why she didn't want to be around...then she proceeded to tell me that she could have had the love of my life (we were broken up then, we are together now) if she wanted him and that when she's around guys don't even look at me...Uh huh. Ok. She's by her d@mn self now and that kind of stuff is why. You can drop a lot of weight in a hurry if you leave her alone.

    You don't need people in your life like that. They hurt your spirit. I am sorry this happened to you, I will pray for both you and her, for Jesus didn't come for the virtuous to repent, but for the sinners. Forgive her and move on.

    God bless.

  5. #13
    Silver Phenster Kellgees's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RAINE4EVER View Post
    Thanks Ladies,

    I am at work now and she seems better now....I have just been working and not really being bother with the drama....I am focus on reaching my goal....
    GOOD FOR YOU!!!!




    Highest Non-Pregnancy related weight 03/08: 279
    1st Weigh-in 6/18: 262
    2nd Weigh-in 7/15: 249
    7/25: 244
    Regained all weight plus some
    01/05 265
    01/10 255

    1st Mini goal: 2/05 235
    2nd mini goal: 03/05 225
    Ultimate goal : 210-215 by 05/15 Grad School Graduation!!!!

    Goals subject to change based on how I look and feel as I lose weight.

  6. #12
    Bronze Phenster RAINE4EVER's Avatar
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    Thanks Ladies,

    I am at work now and she seems better ....I have just been working and not being bothered with the drama....I am focus on reaching my goal....


    Thanks for sharing all the good advice.....you guys are so supportive
    Last edited by RAINE4EVER; July 25th, 2008 at 12:07 PM.
    THROUGH GOD ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE

  7. #11
    Silver Phenster yohkos's Avatar
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    I think she is probably competitive and may not even realize how her actions are affecting you. You might want to say something. It is not just women, I work with a bunch of guys and they gossip just as much and there is just as much back stabbing and drama created by them as there are with women in the workplace. Sad, but I notice many married couples are competitive with each other. Maybe our lives are much more competitive than they were many many years ago.

    Give her some time, maybe she isn't doing so good with her dieting right now and feels threaten by you.

  8. #10
    Silver Phenster
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    A bunch of women working in an office with hormones and stress and TOM is not a good mix! I also work in an office with mostly women and it has become quite cliquey (not sure if I spelled that right) and I hate that! I also TRY not to get caught up in the drama, but it's hard! Women especially get weird if another woman is losing weight and trying not to eat all the bad stuff that floats around the office, they suddenly think that you are acting like you are better than them or something, which is not the case. My co-worker just got back from vacation two weeks after I started the phen and I did not tell her I was on it, but she could tell that I had lost weight and so now she is still eating the stuff I do not want to eat now and I think she does not really understand. As someone else on here said, I believe it too that true friends are hard to find, especially as you get older......

  9. #9
    Gold Phenster dbethied's Avatar
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    this is the reason i haven't had very many close girl-friends in my adult life. it always seems like everything is a competition. at least that's been my experience. when i first moved out on my own a lot of people would come over to my apartment and hang out....it was like grand central station over there. my "best friend" lived in the same apartment complex, and she would always come over too because there was always something going on, and her place was pretty quiet and lonely.

    so, these two guys that i hung out with were over one night and they were like, "we saw (my best friend) at the sports bar the other night. we were talking about something you said that was funny, and we were laughing. she freaked out and was like, god! i don't see why everybody likes her so much!"

    i was like.....wow. um shouldn't your best friend know why people like you? then, this guy i used to date who hung around a lot because he was trying to get back with me told me that she had a crush on him. i was like yeah right! so, one night he called me and was telling me she was flirting with him, and offered to call her on three way so i could hear. so, he called her and asked if he could come over, and she was like yeeeeah, suuure...all giggly. i didn't want him, but still. who wants their best friends leftovers? ew. i never even mentioned it to her, but that wasn't the last time she flirted with a boyfriend. i finally realized one room can only handle so many hormones lol. true friends are hard to find so when you do u better hang onto them...i've learned that!




    4-2-08 202.2 lbs SW (began b12/lipo shot 1 a week - no phen)
    4-9-08 193.6 lbs
    4-16-08 190.8 lbs
    4-23-08 188.0 lbs
    4-30-08 185.6 lbs
    5-7-08 185.6 lbs
    5-14-08 181.2 lbs
    5-21-08 178.8 lbs
    5-28-08 177.6 lbs
    6-04-08 176.8 lbs (stopped the shots. trying it on my own)
    6-16-08 175.6 lbs (went back to the shots today!)
    7-9-08 170.6 lbs (slowing down, but still going down!)

  10. #8
    Gold Phenster thin4good's Avatar
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    I agree with Band Mama, jealousy is a natural thing for someone to experience.

    You also mentioned she had gastric but went to BK for lunch today. Perhaps she is sliding off of her diet as you are just gaining force on yours? She might actually be mad at herself for lack of will power but is projecting it onto you doing things like eating "fruit" for lunch.

    The best thing I can tell you, because I work in an office full of women too and really try to avoid drama. Instead of letting the hurt build up, usually I will ask them right then something like "you seem annoyed that I'm having fruit for lunch? Is something bothering you? If so, we should talk about it."
    41 down 36 to go!

    5/12/08 - 232.5 - Started Phen/lexapro combo
    5/29/08 - 218 -14.5 pounds in 2 weeks
    6/12/08 - 209.5 -8.5 for a total of 23 pounds in the first month!
    7/10/08 - 200 -9.5
    8/07/08 -192 -8
    9/18/08 - 185.5 -6.5
    12/8/08-191 +5.5

  11. #7
    Bronze Phenster rowantree's Avatar
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    I notice this with people too. That's so wierd though because she's losing weight too!! You should both be excited for each other...and I know you are for her......I don't get why she'd act like that other than jealousy/insecurity....maybe you're 'stealing her thunder' ...lol

    i hope she comes to her senses...having someone close trying to do the same thing is good for this sorta thing!! even with friendly competition....but not just flat out acting different toward you
    Starting Weight: 260lbs

    First Goal: 200lbs w/NO phen (met a year ago)

    -regained and hit a plateau

    started phen on 6/24 @ 217lbs

    Current Weight as of 7/23 - 202lbs !!




    "Impossibility—a word only to be found in the dictionary of fools."-Napoleon Bonaparte

    "Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go." -T.S. Eliot

    "Well behaved women rarely make history." -Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

  12. #6
    Bronze Phenster RAINE4EVER's Avatar
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    I would say more stand-offish....normally she is happy go lucky...excited to talk to me....today she asked me what's for lunch....all I said was fruit.....she just looked at me like please b*****......I said you can have half.....then she just was like if I am tried of fruit....I am going to Burger King.....I said oh okay....see you when you get back..... that was it......but I think everything will fall back in to place....maybe she is a true blue friend.....and I thought we were better than that......I have very little time for friends outside of the job....so if I am not on here....I am with the family....so once I vent....it's over.....my real life responsibilities begin.....at home with hubby and kids!!!!


    Thanks for all the advice....sometimes you just need to talk about things on your mind....feel alot better
    THROUGH GOD ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE

  13. #5
    Diamond Phenster Band Mamma's Avatar
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    What do you mean by acting different? Is she a bit cold or stand-offish? If so, she may be trying to deal with her jealousy and isn't hiding it well. Jealousy is natural and it doesn't necessarily mean she wishes bad for you. It just means she wants it for herself. Most likely, she will get over it and things will be back to normal. Try to be aware of her sensitivity right now and I'm sure things will turn out fine.

  14. #4
    Silver Phenster Kellgees's Avatar
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    Hey,
    Have you talked to her and told her you feel. Please if you are going to talk to her use I statements. For example " I feel unsupported since I lost weight, and really feel like I supported you during your weight loss. As opposed to "You ain't doing....." I noticed it is so hard for other women to give compliments as if someone elses beauty takes away fromour own. You said she was a co-worker could it be that this is all she is and not a true blue friend. Since I have lost weight only my closest friends have consistently complimented me whereas coworkers and classmates did not comment at all or very little. So please don't take your co-workers actions personally its not about your beauty and success but more about her insecurities. YOU LOOK GREAT!!! KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK.




    Highest Non-Pregnancy related weight 03/08: 279
    1st Weigh-in 6/18: 262
    2nd Weigh-in 7/15: 249
    7/25: 244
    Regained all weight plus some
    01/05 265
    01/10 255

    1st Mini goal: 2/05 235
    2nd mini goal: 03/05 225
    Ultimate goal : 210-215 by 05/15 Grad School Graduation!!!!

    Goals subject to change based on how I look and feel as I lose weight.

  15. #3
    Bronze Phenster RAINE4EVER's Avatar
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    Talking I agree

    Thanks, I agree newme 2008.....I am going to see her reaction tomorrow...I work with 30 ladies and 2 men.....and it is crazy.....no matter how professional you are......it seems that haters are every where....I am going to stay on track.....for myself because I know the reason that I am dieting.....for me and no one else!!!
    THROUGH GOD ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE

  16. #2
    Silver Phenster newme2008's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RAINE4EVER View Post
    I have co-worker that I have grown really close to over the years.....Me and her really keep things under control at the office.....But recently since I started my diet she have been acting totally different......Back in March she had the gastric bypass and she lost over 40lbs so far.....I compliment her and I was as excited as she was.....with her results.....I was always smaller than her and our shapes are totally different......but now since my size 16 jeans are baggy she is mad.....why is that......I am so angry......cause friends never seem to be happy when you are......why is that.......she met me when I was a size 13/14 so why would she want me not to go on a diet.....I am not trying to compete or anything....I just want both us to healthy together....I told her that she started the diet and I thought it will be a good idea.....if all of us at office try to eat healthy......I don't really want to ask her what the matter.....cause what if it's just me......I am just furious cause......woman can't seem to stick together.....not even when it's small as sharing a salad....... What's a friend to do?


    Sorry so long needed to vent.....I really wish everyone a healthy long life just like I pray for myself.....I have not a cold bone in my body......STAY BLESS thanks for listening
    FEMALES ON THE JOB.....BEEN THERE DONE THAT....ANYWAY, SOUNDS LIKE SHE WANT ALL THE ATTENTION. SHE IS USED TO YOU BEING A LARGER SIZE. SOUNDS LIKE JEOLOUSY TO ME. NEWS FLASH...REAL FRIENDS DON'T DO THAT! I THINK YOU SHOULD TALK TO HER, TELL HER HOW YOU FEEL. IF SHE GETS UGLY WITH YOU LEAVE HER ALONE AND DON'T LOOK BACK.

    DO YOU, GIRL. TELL HER TO LAY OFF THE HATER-AID.

  17. #1
    Bronze Phenster RAINE4EVER's Avatar
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    Smile I am furious what should do.....

    I have co-worker that I have grown really close to over the years.....Me and her really keep things under control at the office.....But recently since I started my diet she have been acting totally different.........I was always smaller than her and our shapes are totally different......but now since my size 16 jeans are baggy she is mad.....why is that......I am so angry......cause friends never seem to be happy when you are......why is that.......she met me when I was a size 13/14 so why would she want me not to go on a diet.....I am not trying to compete or anything....I just want both us to healthy together....I told her that she started the diet and I thought it will be a good idea.....if all of us at office try to eat healthy......I don't really want to ask her what the matter.....cause what if it's just me......I am just furious cause......woman can't seem to stick together.....not even when it's small as sharing a salad....... What's a friend to do?


    Sorry so long needed to vent.....I really wish everyone a healthy long life just like I pray for myself.....I have not a cold bone in my body......STAY BLESS thanks for listening
    Last edited by RAINE4EVER; July 28th, 2008 at 08:26 PM.
    THROUGH GOD ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE

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