OT: I am really sad today....

**Mindalynn** · July 23rd, 2008, 04:05 PM

Originally Posted by benson012094

I agree with this statement 100%. If my husband ever talked to another woman about me....I'd be gone!

I live in the "new" Commerce City. Gotta reiterate the "new" part! Hee hee! I'm in Lakewood all the time though. We are always at Southwest Plaza and Colorado Mills. My daughter also goes to horseback lessons off of Alameda and Garrison.

I am right between Hampden and SW Plaza

**benson012094** · July 23rd, 2008, 03:12 PM

Originally Posted by Kellgees

YOU GO GIRL!!! First and Foremost you are beautiful. Secondly I agree wholeheartedly I don't play the female new friend s**t. If you have known her before me OK I can deal but after me there will be none. I am sorry if i sound stone age but I worked at an office where the interoffice sex amongst "friends" was sickening. I feel like in a relationship there should be one man and one woman. By telling her yall business he is bringing girly in yall relationship and it don't have room for three LOL. Also vice versa I don't have new male friends either. I agree with everyone on board calmly non judgementally, using I statements, tell him how you feel. Keep looking good and doing excellent on your weight loss goals

I agree with this statement 100%. If my husband ever talked to another woman about me....I'd be gone!

I live in the "new" Commerce City. Gotta reiterate the "new" part! Hee hee! I'm in Lakewood all the time though. We are always at Southwest Plaza and Colorado Mills. My daughter also goes to horseback lessons off of Alameda and Garrison.

**gothprincess** · July 23rd, 2008, 02:40 PM

I'm so glad it worked out! Not answering your phone will have that effect...I know it does on my hubby.

**Mindalynn** · July 23rd, 2008, 02:38 PM

Originally Posted by Mindalynn

UPDATE -

So, I got off work yesterday went straight to the gym and jogged for 40 mins - must have been the adrenaline because I am not a runner. (Gotta wear 2 sports bras to keep the girls from slapping me in the face LOL) Then, I went home (he wasn't there) so I took a shower and made my self beautiful to go out with my girlfriend. We went to the mall and to my suprise I am down another pants size! Wooo whooo! After the mall we went to a local rock bar and enjoyed a couple drinks. (Don't worry I had vodka and Diet Coke) Well, we were on our way out and this guy comes running out after us. He comes straight up to me and says "I have been noticing you all night and I was too shy to talk to you. I think you are beautiful and I would like to know your name" - OMG! So, this whole time I left my phone in the car and when I finally checked it my man sent 6 texts and called 4 times...asking where I was, what I was doing, when I'd be home etc.
So I went home around 10pm and he was waiting for me with a completely different outlook on the situation. He apologized for being inconsiderate of my feelings and for talking to that chick about us. He know realizes how disrespectful it was and how he was being so unattentive. Its funny how you go out for a night and don't answer your phone and BAM attitude changes. Anyways, that was my night. We didn't get to talk too much last night so we will see..

Bump Bump for update

**Mindalynn** · July 23rd, 2008, 02:02 PM

Originally Posted by Kellgees

YOU GO GIRL!!! First and Foremost you are beautiful. Secondly I agree wholeheartedly I don't play the female new friend s**t. If you have known her before me OK I can deal but after me there will be none. I am sorry if i sound stone age but I worked at an office where the interoffice sex amongst "friends" was sickening. I feel like in a relationship there should be one man and one woman. By telling her yall business he is bringing girly in yall relationship and it don't have room for three LOL. Also vice versa I don't have new male friends either. I agree with everyone on board calmly non judgementally, using I statements, tell him how you feel. Keep looking good and doing excellent on your weight loss goals

Thank you very much for the comlimpents! I really had to spell it out for him like you have to sometimes with men. I said "Okay how would you feel if I met a guy in our apartments and starting hanging out and telling him about our relatioship for advise? He understands when I put it that way. I don't do anything I wouldn't want done to me - its all about respect. You look fantastic as well!

Prncssmn7 · July 23rd, 2008, 01:46 PM

Stay strong and do what you KNOW is right...whatever that happens to be. They always straighten up when they know you have one foot out of the door.

Congrats on being down a size!!!

**Kellgees** · July 23rd, 2008, 01:45 PM

YOU GO GIRL!!! First and Foremost you are beautiful. Secondly I agree wholeheartedly I don't play the female new friend s**t. If you have known her before me OK I can deal but after me there will be none. I am sorry if i sound stone age but I worked at an office where the interoffice sex amongst "friends" was sickening. I feel like in a relationship there should be one man and one woman. By telling her yall business he is bringing girly in yall relationship and it don't have room for three LOL. Also vice versa I don't have new male friends either. I agree with everyone on board calmly non judgementally, using I statements, tell him how you feel. Keep looking good and doing excellent on your weight loss goals

**Mindalynn** · July 23rd, 2008, 12:52 PM

Originally Posted by benson012094

You live in Denver too?? Wow, is this something new you just posted? I never noticed that before. COOL! A fellow Milehigher!

I have always had that up. I moved here from Texas about 6 years ago and I love it! Where about do you live? I am in the Lakewood/Littleton area.

**benson012094** · July 23rd, 2008, 12:32 PM

You live in Denver too?? Wow, is this something new you just posted? I never noticed that before. COOL! A fellow Milehigher!

**Mindalynn** · July 23rd, 2008, 12:19 PM

UPDATE -

So, I got off work yesterday went straight to the gym and jogged for 40 mins - must have been the adrenaline because I am not a runner. (Gotta wear 2 sports bras to keep the girls from slapping me in the face LOL) Then, I went home (he wasn't there) so I took a shower and made my self beautiful to go out with my girlfriend. We went to the mall and to my suprise I am down another pants size! Wooo whooo! After the mall we went to a local rock bar and enjoyed a couple drinks. (Don't worry I had vodka and Diet Coke) Well, we were on our way out and this guy comes running out after us. He comes straight up to me and says "I have been noticing you all night and I was too shy to talk to you. I think you are beautiful and I would like to know your name" - OMG! So, this whole time I left my phone in the car and when I finally checked it my man sent 6 texts and called 4 times...asking where I was, what I was doing, when I'd be home etc.
So I went home around 10pm and he was waiting for me with a completely different outlook on the situation. He apologized for being inconsiderate of my feelings and for talking to that chick about us. He know realizes how disrespectful it was and how he was being so unattentive. Its funny how you go out for a night and don't answer your phone and BAM attitude changes. Anyways, that was my night. We didn't get to talk too much last night so we will see..

**RAINE4EVER** · July 22nd, 2008, 09:04 PM

Woman to woman....I feel your pain......just stay focus and continue to maintain a stable and healthy mind state....and everything will workout on it's own....sometimes the creator puts us through things....that may seem hard.....actually to hard for one to bare.....but believe me....in order to appreciate the good times you must go through the hard and bad times.....people and life changes by the minute....but when you weigh your options....the good and the bad.....If the good out weigh the bad.....stick with him....you never know.....I wish you the best.....I speak from experience......

**yohkos** · July 22nd, 2008, 08:41 PM

I am so sorry you are feeling this pain. I believe most women are intutive and know when something is not right. Give him space and be cautious. If it is something that is about you and him, he will eventually have to talk to you. He may just be feeling overwhelmed. Again, sorry for the pain.

**jbenev5338** · July 22nd, 2008, 08:22 PM

sorry hun!
I hope you can figure things out.
This may sound terrible but everything happens for a reason and maybe it is best that something happen now then later on after your married

**thin4good** · July 22nd, 2008, 07:21 PM

((Mindalynn)) HUGS!!! Drink water, and eat something even if it's little, even some tea or something. You have to take care of you!

Just give yourself some time and space to deal with it. Can you go stay with anyone? A friend? your mom? Just get out of the house for a little bit and give yourself some space!

Being mean is never OK. Let him cool off, let your heart be sad, and give it some time to see how you guys feel without antagonizing each other any more.

Best of luck hon!

-T4G

**Mindalynn** · July 22nd, 2008, 07:06 PM

Thank you so much for the support. He was being distant and now that I talked to him about it he is being mean and yelling at me. Appartently, I am crazy for being upset that he talk to this girl about us! I am sorry but she knows nothing about us and therefore cannot affer advise. I took my engagement ring off today, I just cry when I look at it. Sorry I am not answering all the questions - I have a headache from crying and haven't been able to eat......

**benson012094** · July 22nd, 2008, 04:37 PM

Originally Posted by Mindalynn

One of the news friends is a girl and we all get along okay but when we were arguing yesterday he went to talk to her about me! That made me so mad considering we have only known her for a few weeks. He acts differently when we are around other people now. I always feel left out!

I think I am going to go out with my girls this weekend and dance!

Have you ever watched "The Break Up" with Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn? It just sends a good message....tell him how you feel.

**thin4good** · July 22nd, 2008, 04:28 PM

Hey Minda,

I'm so sorry to hear what you're going through! I'd definitely have a chat with him about talking to another female about you and what's going on there. How did you guys meet this new girl? Did he meet her first or did you? Is she single?

Secondarily, a few things to consider. I like what others have said about distancing vs. being mean. Which is he doing. Because telling you you are grumpy to me isn't really being mean. I think this medicine alters our moods more than we realize at times. It has definitely made me over sensitive to comments and small slights from BF and others. He's told me recently, "you tell me at least once a day something doesn't seem right about me, what gives?" To be honest, I didn't even realize I was doing it, this medicine does heighten sensitivities, and him being without a job I'm sure has had an effect on him too.

Maybe instead of going out dancing with the girls (or in addition to going out with the girls) plan some alone time for the two of you to do something just fun and silly together so you can laugh together and be comfortable with each other. Maybe something you did when you first met? Just a thought.

**gothprincess** · July 22nd, 2008, 03:15 PM

Originally Posted by Mindalynn

One of the news friends is a girl and we all get along okay but when we were arguing yesterday he went to talk to her about me! That made me so mad considering we have only known her for a few weeks. He acts differently when we are around other people now. I always feel left out!

I think I am going to go out with my girls this weekend and dance!

Ummm.....that sends up red flags. I'd be p*ssed too if my hubby talked about me to another female, especially one he just met. As for acting different when you're around other people...is it around all people or just the new female friend? You don't have to answer if you don't want too...that would be my first thought if I was in your place. I hope it gets better for you.

You go out this weekend and have a great time with your girls!!

**cast94** · July 22nd, 2008, 03:04 PM

YOU GO GIRL!!!!

**Mindalynn** · July 22nd, 2008, 02:58 PM

Originally Posted by gothprincess

OT=Off Topic. Don't feel stupid cause it took me awhile to figure it out too.

Minda: I'm so sorry you're going through more stress. At the moment I don't have any advice, just follow your heart...you know what's best for you.

Do have a ? though. What do you know about the new 'friends'? Could that have something to do with it?

One of the news friends is a girl and we all get along okay but when we were arguing yesterday he went to talk to her about me! That made me so mad considering we have only known her for a few weeks. He acts differently when we are around other people now. I always feel left out!

I think I am going to go out with my girls this weekend and dance!

**benson012094** · July 22nd, 2008, 02:51 PM

Sorry if this was already asked, I didn't read the other posts, but have you ever come straight out and asked him how he feels? I know the answer may be what's scaring you half to death, but it could be something totally different. Once it was like this with my husband and I (when we were first dating though), and I swore he was seeing someone else. When I asked him, he said his grandfather died, and just didn't want to talk about it. It could be something totally off the wall. Just be 100% honest with him. Tell him you feel he is distant and if he still feels the same. Communication is #1.

**gothprincess** · July 22nd, 2008, 02:45 PM

OT=Off Topic. Don't feel stupid cause it took me awhile to figure it out too.

Minda: I'm so sorry you're going through more stress. At the moment I don't have any advice, just follow your heart...you know what's best for you.

Do have a ? though. What do you know about the new 'friends'? Could that have something to do with it?

**cast94** · July 22nd, 2008, 02:41 PM

Go with your inner feelings and focus now on you. You deserve it!!! Good Luck!

**Mindalynn** · July 22nd, 2008, 02:37 PM

Love you all, ladies! Thank you for all the kind words. I hate this feeling but I think Prncssmn is right. It is time for me to worry about me and my well being. I let him treat me certain ways and I let him tell me I am just being grumpy and silly (sounds like something a kid would say). I am a smart woman and I know what I need to do - I can already feel my heart breaking.

Everything was so great - if you asked me 5 months ago I would have said I have the greatest man!

**Sivad** · July 22nd, 2008, 02:35 PM

OK this is gona make me look completely STUPID but anyway here goes......What is the OT in the subject of a post???? I have seen it in several posts and didn't know what it meant. If someone can explain that i would appreciate it. Thank you.