My heart isn't in it anymore.
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  1. #27
    Diamond Phenster benson012094's Avatar
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    Thanks Skydreama. It looks like we joined about the same time (a few months apart). That was a busy board then, but your name does ring a bell.

    ISOM, I think I will!! I think the "pissed off" phase has worn off. Now I just need a good talking to!
    -------------------
    You must be the change you want to see in the world. - Gandhi

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  3. #26
    Platinum Phenster Skydreama's Avatar
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    Im sorry to hear you are down!

    I am not sure what to tell you since i feel the same way alot, but i would just suggest taking it one day at a time. One meal at a time, etc... and dont let all your hard work go to waste!!

    Keep your head up!!
    SW:268
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    CW:230
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    "You never know what you can do until you try"


  4. #25
    Diamond Phenster insearchofme's Avatar
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    It's not too late to listen to him now.
    HEIGHT 5' 10"
    HIGHEST WEIGHT EVER! 252

    STARTING OVER!!
    CW 232.2





    Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can! ~Arthur Ashe

  5. #24
    Diamond Phenster benson012094's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Raquel View Post
    Sorry about the bad family night - then the dang pool ... we just got ours, took 3 days to fill ... can't imagine that water draining in the yard .. OHMYGOODNESS.

    Ramie - I've thought & prayed about you & your emotions - and I came up with the PERFECT solution for you

    JOEL OLSTEEN!
    You know, I was soooo pissed, (we record Joel on the DVR) that I was gonna watch him and then said, I'm not in the mood to hear how I need to be happy....that's how pissed I was! Thanks for suggesting it though. If I weren't being such a "B", he probably would've changed my whole day around!
    -------------------
    You must be the change you want to see in the world. - Gandhi

  6. #23
    Wonder Phenster scatanafas's Avatar
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    Aww Benson, that sux about the pool....I hope that you have a good day anyway.....sometimes happiness is a conscience choice, we have to sort of force ourselves to be happy.....Lord knows I"m forcin' these days myself.

  7. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by benson012094 View Post
    Thanks again guys! I just need to keep reading this thread. Thanks so much for that beautiful song, Renee. I'm feeling about the same. Last night was a bad family night. Hubby and I got into an argument over something so stupid, then the pool got a hole in it, now we are draining 10,000 gallons of water into our yard! I don't think I'll be opening up the pool again this year! Dang it. I'm gonna go eat a healthy breakfast and PLAN on having a good day.
    Sorry about the bad family night - then the dang pool ... we just got ours, took 3 days to fill ... can't imagine that water draining in the yard .. OHMYGOODNESS.

    Ramie - I've thought & prayed about you & your emotions - and I came up with the PERFECT solution for you

    JOEL OLSTEEN!
    Hi, I'm Roc & I'm on the weight loss rollercoaster as well as a 42 yr. old - mother of 3 year old twins. An entirely different rollercoaster
    1/9/08 228
    1/19 210
    2/09 215
    2/12 210
    3/11 206
    3/21 200
    4/13 199
    5/18 198
    6/6 201
    7/10 210
    7/21 199
    8/26 199

  8. #21
    Diamond Phenster Band Mamma's Avatar
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    After spending 6 days with the kids and hubby, we are so sick of even the smell of each other. LOL Thankfully, we are back home and everyone is getting back to their schedules and away from me.
    Perhaps you could try reading some books on emotional eating issues and such instead of watching tv? You'd still get to chill for a bit and perhaps gain some more understanding about why you do the things you do. That's what I'm currently doing. I'm hoping to not only gain insight but learn some tools to help me along the way so I cope differently under stress.

  9. #20
    Diamond Phenster benson012094's Avatar
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    Thanks again guys! I just need to keep reading this thread. Thanks so much for that beautiful song, Renee. I'm feeling about the same. Last night was a bad family night. Hubby and I got into an argument over something so stupid, then the pool got a hole in it, now we are draining 10,000 gallons of water into our yard! I don't think I'll be opening up the pool again this year! Dang it. I'm gonna go eat a healthy breakfast and PLAN on having a good day.
    -------------------
    You must be the change you want to see in the world. - Gandhi

  10. #19
    Silver Phenster jbenev5338's Avatar
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    Hey girl i havent given up yet and mine is at a stand still too and i have much more to lose than you....
    I stil have 40 lbs to lose you you only have 20 lbs to your ultimate goal


    Mother to a one year old active boy


    MAY
    2nd- 194 lbs started PHEN
    9th- 188 lbs
    25th- 186 lbs
    JUNE
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    20th- 182 lbs




  11. #18
    Diamond Phenster insearchofme's Avatar
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    Hope you are feeling better today.

    {{{{{HUGS}}}}}
    HEIGHT 5' 10"
    HIGHEST WEIGHT EVER! 252

    STARTING OVER!!
    CW 232.2





    Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can! ~Arthur Ashe

  12. #17
    Silver Phenster JustKim's Avatar
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    I felt the same way. Everything is being dumped on me at work, school, home. I stopped at Burger King and got a Whopper w/cheese, fries, and a Dr. Pepper. It actually made me fell better. I know it was not the right way to deal with stress, but I had to do something. Of course tomorrow, I'll get up early and try to go work at least half of it off, but I'm okay with that. Keep your head up! You can do it! Do something crazy and let off some steam!
    5/08 SW-270
    8/7/08 CW 239-Taken off Phen by MD
    9/5/08 CW 230-Life without Phen Challenge

    Goals, schmoals. I just come here to talk, and if I lose weight, that's great!

    Same place next year? NOT!!!

  13. #16
    Silver Phenster jenstarns's Avatar
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    I feel your pain and right now I am really really feeling your pain My DD is still up and it is 10pm she is only 5 and should have been in bed between 8:30 and 9. Tonight I just couldn't deal with it, so I let her stay up and I told her tomorrow she would have a consequence. I haven't figured out what it will be yet but now she in in bed with her dad. As for family.kids and house I have just gotten my kids to start picking up after them-self. Here is what I do . I tell them to " feel free to pick up all the toys they want to keep" Then what toys I pick up i put away and she has to earn them back!!! I have also been making a games out of it. It has been going well for about a week now and it is so much easier to eat right while my house stays in order. I am telling you this as a person who isn't a great house keeper Good luck you are one of the ones that inspire me so no going away!!!!
    SW 5/24 188.8 started Phen
    5/30 183.2 Week one
    6/6 180 week 2 (179 @home)
    6/13 176 week 3
    6/20 173.9 week 4
    15 pounds GONE
    7/1 171.2
    7/31 172 WTH Start 37.7 tomorrow
    Avatar is me @ my wedding in 2001

  14. #15
    Diamond Phenster gothprincess's Avatar
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    I hear ya!! You're not alone in the kids dept. I can't wait for school to start(one more month!). You can't give up now, you've come so far. Hang in there, take some time for yourself(if possibe), and remember we're all here for you!!

  15. #14
    Silver Phenster momz01's Avatar
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    RAMIE- REMEMBER WE ARE NO A FAMILY OF QUITTERS ,SO TAKE SOME TIME FOR YOUR SELF AND DON'T FORGET YOUR FOCUS . YOU HAVE ACCOMPLISHED SO MUCH AND DONE SO WELL AND I AM VERY PROUD OF YOU. KIDS WILL BE KIDS ,I KNOW I HAVE TWO BOYS 4 AND 8 . I AM YELLING AND FEELING LIKE I CAN NEVER FINISH A SIMPLE PROJECT AT HOME LIKE FOLDING CLOTHES OR EVEN JUST WASHING DISHES B/C I'M CONSTANTLY FUSSING AT THEM . I HAVE TO SEPARATE THEM AND GET MYSELF TOGETHER. WHEN I FEEL LIKE EATING A COOKIE OR NOT EXERCISING I TURN ON VIDEOS AND SEE THESE BEAUTIFUL DANCERS AND MODELS AND MY COOKIE URGES QUICKLY DISAPPEAR.

    YOU CAN DO THIS ,PLEASE REMEMBER THAT YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL ,THAT YOU ARE SPECIAL AND A GREAT MOM WHO DESERVES TO BE HEALTHY AND SEXY !!!!!

    SO STAY AWAY FROM THE COOKIES AND TURN ON SOME VIDEOS

    LOVE YA-
    I AM SO HAPPY TO BE HERE I CAN'T EVEN EXPLAIN.I STARTED PHEN,HCG AND B12 INJECTIONS ON 4/15/08 AND TODAY 4/19/08 I HAVE LOST 7LBS,YEAH!! I FEEL TREMENDOUS.

    SO LADIES AND GENTS PLEASE KEEP ME IN YOUR PRAYERS ][/IMG]

  16. #13
    Gold Phenster dbethied's Avatar
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    you can do it! school starts back soon. just keep coming here and we will kick u in the butt when u need it...don't give up!




    4-2-08 202.2 lbs SW (began b12/lipo shot 1 a week - no phen)
    4-9-08 193.6 lbs
    4-16-08 190.8 lbs
    4-23-08 188.0 lbs
    4-30-08 185.6 lbs
    5-7-08 185.6 lbs
    5-14-08 181.2 lbs
    5-21-08 178.8 lbs
    5-28-08 177.6 lbs
    6-04-08 176.8 lbs (stopped the shots. trying it on my own)
    6-16-08 175.6 lbs (went back to the shots today!)
    7-9-08 170.6 lbs (slowing down, but still going down!)

  17. #12
    Diamond Phenster insearchofme's Avatar
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  18. #11
    Diamond Phenster insearchofme's Avatar
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    {{{{{{{{Ramie}}}}}}}

    I have been on and off all day and I guess I missed this post. I am so sorry that you are having a hard time. I honestly know exactly how you feel. Our lives are so parallel it's crazy. I think you are just feeding off of the negative energy I have been spewing the past few days.

    I know the stress of life can be challenging but please don't let this get you down. I know you were thinking about trying the cleanse and that maybe just what you need. I don't know if that is what turned me around or not, but I am feeling so much better now. Let me know before you start and I will do it with you.

    You are going to make it through this funk you are in. Believe it or not this too shall pass.
    HEIGHT 5' 10"
    HIGHEST WEIGHT EVER! 252

    STARTING OVER!!
    CW 232.2





    Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can! ~Arthur Ashe

  19. #10
    Diamond Phenster benson012094's Avatar
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    FFYS!!! I love that.

    Scat, it's my dang husband. He quit smoking a few months ago and now he has a major sweet tooth and is ALWAYS buying cookies and smores and pop. I just want to strangle him every time he comes home from the grocery store.

    I really need to take all y'alls advice on CALM DOWN. I am about to go all "THE SHINING" on everyone!!!!
    -------------------
    You must be the change you want to see in the world. - Gandhi

  20. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by benson012094 View Post
    Thanks everyone for your words of encouragement and advice. I never like to post posts like this because I am NOT the type to feel sorry for myself or give up, but I thought maybe if I did, it would bring me back to normal.

    No you're not.


    Mapgirl, what a compliment. I never knew someone actually looked up to me!

    Mapgirl would have to pretty short to look up to you ::: ducking :::

    Raquel, seven months??? Really. Wow, we're practically family!

    I call it friends

    Thin4good, wow, lots of good advice. Kellgees, nice to finally "meet" you. You are so pretty! Thanks for your kind words.

    I'm gonna go for a walk now with the baby boy. Maybe that will help me too! Kill two birds with one stone!

    Love you guys!
    Enjoy your day ... you'll be fine ... I know this about you.
    Hi, I'm Roc & I'm on the weight loss rollercoaster as well as a 42 yr. old - mother of 3 year old twins. An entirely different rollercoaster
    1/9/08 228
    1/19 210
    2/09 215
    2/12 210
    3/11 206
    3/21 200
    4/13 199
    5/18 198
    6/6 201
    7/10 210
    7/21 199
    8/26 199

  21. #8
    Wonder Phenster scatanafas's Avatar
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    I know I keep saying this, but there are going to be setbacks on the way to goal and you aren't always going to be "feeling it" when it comes to eating right and exercise. Right now you aren't in the mood, you lost your motivation, kids being home in the summer is kicking your butt too....I hate being thrown off routine and until school starts we won't have one again!

    I agree with Janoodle , your motivation will come back. Do something that will jump kick that original desire that you have to lose weight. For me it is trying on clothes at the store and seeing my thighs in the fluorescent lighting...bleh! A recent trip down Madison Avenue and seeing the cutesy clothes in the window made me want to lose, because alot of that stuff won't look good on a woman with my hips....and don't even ASK me about the bra experience I had yesterday......................You'll get your mojo back..in the meantime please try and calm down, stop yelling at your kids and don't turn to food for comfort. Throw out cookies that you want to eat..buy stuff you don't like as much and your kids will just have to deal. I know a woman that buys tons of junk food for her family and then wonders why she binges...it is so easy with all that in the house!

  22. #7
    Bronze Phenster janoodle's Avatar
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    Maintain, maintain, maintain.

    When you feel like this, just try to hold your ground rather than lose more. It's good for your body to take a break from being slightly deprived of calories, right? It's also a nice break from the discipline needed to keep losing. Eventually your motivation to lose will come back and you can begin your journey anew, refreshed and refocused.

    Try not to beat yourself up in the meantime. A cookie or two won't be the end of the world or the end of your weight loss journey. It sounds like you need a little self-nurturing time and are using food to soothe stress. It is ok to do that every now and then, just recognize if that is what you are doing and then try to find a substitute.

    Lay a little love on yourself, lady! You deserve it, and hey, if dinner doesn't get cooked or laundry doesn't get done, so what? I tell my family when it's FFYS night (Fend For YourSELVES!) and I don't feel a bit guilty about it.

  23. #6
    Diamond Phenster benson012094's Avatar
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    Thanks everyone for your words of encouragement and advice. I never like to post posts like this because I am NOT the type to feel sorry for myself or give up, but I thought maybe if I did, it would bring me back to normal. Mapgirl, what a compliment. I never knew someone actually looked up to me! Raquel, seven months??? Really. Wow, we're practically family! Thin4good, wow, lots of good advice. Kellgees, nice to finally "meet" you. You are so pretty! Thanks for your kind words.

    I'm gonna go for a walk now with the baby boy. Maybe that will help me too! Kill two birds with one stone!

    Love you guys!
    -------------------
    You must be the change you want to see in the world. - Gandhi

  24. #5
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    Ohhh Ramie - I know what you mean ...

    But the sad reality is - there are some of those people in the world that say "Oh to hell with it" and it could be about anything (looking for work, raising children correctly, being a good wife, weight management, financial budgeting, etc) ... but that's not you. You are NOT one of THOSE kind of people.

    I'm sorry, but you have too many people you are important to, and you have to be the best you can be - so you can be there in a healthy state of mind & body for everyone else. You are not allowed to throw your hands up in the air and to say the hell with it.

    If I even thought for a minute - you were the kind of person that needed a pity party and a shoulder, honey I'd throw you the biggest party you ever saw to get you back on track ... But I've known you for 7 months now - you are better than all the bullcrap.

    Take a deep breath & Go take charge of your world once again.

    Know that we love you and will be here when you are through taking names and kickin' a $ $,
    Hi, I'm Roc & I'm on the weight loss rollercoaster as well as a 42 yr. old - mother of 3 year old twins. An entirely different rollercoaster
    1/9/08 228
    1/19 210
    2/09 215
    2/12 210
    3/11 206
    3/21 200
    4/13 199
    5/18 198
    6/6 201
    7/10 210
    7/21 199
    8/26 199

  25. #4
    Silver Phenster Kellgees's Avatar
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    Yes please don't give up. The kids, household and everything can get to us and believe you me I am a stress eater but we have to remeber it is a temporary solution to your situation. Have a family meeting voice your concerns let them know what the consequences are to unacceptable behavior and stay consistent. As far as slipping we will always will but the trick is to not turn one bad day into a binge. Good Luck and remeber YOU DESERVE TO ACHIEVE WHATEVER GOAL YOU HAVE!!!!!




    Highest Non-Pregnancy related weight 03/08: 279
    1st Weigh-in 6/18: 262
    2nd Weigh-in 7/15: 249
    7/25: 244
    Regained all weight plus some
    01/05 265
    01/10 255

    1st Mini goal: 2/05 235
    2nd mini goal: 03/05 225
    Ultimate goal : 210-215 by 05/15 Grad School Graduation!!!!

    Goals subject to change based on how I look and feel as I lose weight.

  26. #3
    Gold Phenster thin4good's Avatar
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    Hey Benson

    Go lock yourself in your room for a few minutes to get some peace and quiet. Sit down and take a deep breath in... take a deep breath out... and as you release let go all the yuckiness, and do this til you can feel your body relaxing.

    Sit there and appreciate all the things you love about your new body. How it's easier to get around, how happy you've been watching the scale go down, the compliments you've received from those closest to you, and appreciate all you've accomplished . Because you're kicking butt!!

    OK, once you find your center and happy place, go kick your kid's butts! LOL, in a good way, but seriously, the same way you're trying to be disciplined with your dieting and take control of your body, take control of your house! Kids of any age can help around the house. LOL, Chris Rock's mom actually has a parenting book out that has a lot of funny wise advice on how she raised chris and his 5 siblings!

    I was the oldest of 6 kids and responsible for all of them all summer long. One of the things I implemented was a daily to do list. There were usually 3 things on it that they each had to accomplish in the day. Whoever accomplished their tasks first got to pick something they wanted to do that day. If the tasks weren't done by the end of the day, they weren't allowed to play, turn on the tv, or have friends over until they were done. For the little ones they weren't big tasks. It was things like putting their pajamas in the hamper and putting their toys away, for the older kids it was cleaning the bathroom, doing a load of laundry or helping make something for dinner. When the little kids got their tasks done first they usually wanted to do something like play a game with all of us, the older kids (teenagers) usually wanted to be left alone for the day, or have a friend over. You'd be amazed how fast those tasks would get done if they wanted to do something! It was very easy when they asked to do something or wanted somethign to look at the list and go, "i see you haven't finished your tasks yet, come back and talk to me when they are done."

    Just a suggestion! I remember what it felt like to feel like nanny, housekeeper and cook to them, and it ****ed! I felt so much more in control of the situation with the system. I hope it helps!
    41 down 36 to go!

    5/12/08 - 232.5 - Started Phen/lexapro combo
    5/29/08 - 218 -14.5 pounds in 2 weeks
    6/12/08 - 209.5 -8.5 for a total of 23 pounds in the first month!
    7/10/08 - 200 -9.5
    8/07/08 -192 -8
    9/18/08 - 185.5 -6.5
    12/8/08-191 +5.5

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