Men....
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  1. #20
    Silver Phenster litascorner's Avatar
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    Default HAHAHAHA

    Quote Originally Posted by JackinDe View Post
    Well, just let me say, you're all right, most men don't give compliments or are considerate enough to voice a nice compliment to their better half too often.

    I might add, I think it's a age & maturity thing, but as you grow older & more maturer, you tend to appreciate your partner's value & give credit to one's self image & learn to appreciate the qualities in her inner being.

    I don't think this is true in all cases, but the majority of men tend to be this way. One thing you can do, is sit down & bring it to his attention, that you would like to be complimented once in awhile for just being you. Maybe that may wake him up to be more sensitive & caring , and if that doesn't work, just cut him off, NO MORE SEX< LOL< then he might come around, do you think?

    Loving your point of view at the end there. That would definitely get his attention, but it would get mine too. I hardly get time with him now, so the sex is good for me. It wouldn't only punish him. I agree with the maturity thing for most men, but I want to say he is in the lil class of men that is different. He's a total sweetheart when it comes down to things. I just figured he would have noticed by now.

    Oh by the way...I'm glad you are able to give a man's point of view. It's refreshing to hear.

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  3. #19
    JackinDe
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    Question A man's point of view !

    Well, just let me say, you're all right, most men don't give compliments or are considerate enough to voice a nice compliment to their better half too often.

    I might add, I think it's a age & maturity thing, but as you grow older & more maturer, you tend to appreciate your partner's value & give credit to one's self image & learn to appreciate the qualities in her inner being.

    I don't think this is true in all cases, but the majority of men tend to be this way. One thing you can do, is sit down & bring it to his attention, that you would like to be complimented once in awhile for just being you. Maybe that may wake him up to be more sensitive & caring , and if that doesn't work, just cut him off, NO MORE SEX< LOL< then he might come around, do you think?

  4. #18
    Silver Phenster jenstarns's Avatar
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    my hubby just doesn't know how to compliant me. It is one of the reasons I come to this site. It was easier when i worked cause I would get compliments from those I work with. I was so excited last week at church because someone noticed and told me how great I looked!!!
    SW 5/24 188.8 started Phen
    5/30 183.2 Week one
    6/6 180 week 2 (179 @home)
    6/13 176 week 3
    6/20 173.9 week 4
    15 pounds GONE
    7/1 171.2
    7/31 172 WTH Start 37.7 tomorrow
    Avatar is me @ my wedding in 2001

  5. #17
    Silver Phenster litascorner's Avatar
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    I don't know what I would do without you girls. Ya'll motivate me where I don't know how to motivate myself. If I have a question, ya'll seem to have the answer. Ya'll are gorgeous women on the inside and out. Hopefully, the rest of us women out here can do the same for you.

  6. #16
    Bronze Phenster KKraver's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kellgees View Post
    To me if he is gone alot HE IS NOTICING!!!!! I think some men , especially those who jobs who keep them away alot, become afraid to tell their women how good they look because then they have to think about other guys noticing too. Because since I have ben coming down I have been noticing guys looking when I am with DH and I know he noticed too. It's scary thing to think about our spouse looking good to other people. If you want and need to hear ask him "how do I look" if necessary throw on some new sexy lingerie and make him beg and tell you how great you look(LOL) That's always a morale booster. So your is not alone just understand how scary it is for him to be gone so much and his wife is getting hotter by the day.
    You got it goin on, gurl.
    Your just to hot to handle, Lita.
    First, love and accept, then change.

    Toccara Jones is my avatar and inspiration. :BTW:

  7. #15
    Silver Phenster litascorner's Avatar
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    Aww you are just the sweetest!!! I'll take that into consideration the next time I get down about it. Thank you so much!!!

  8. #14
    Silver Phenster Kellgees's Avatar
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    To me if he is gone alot HE IS NOTICING!!!!! I think some men , especially those who jobs who keep them away alot, become afraid to tell their women how good they look because then they have to think about other guys noticing too. Because since I have ben coming down I have been noticing guys looking when I am with DH and I know he noticed too. It's scary thing to think about our spouse looking good to other people. If you want and need to hear ask him "how do I look" if necessary throw on some new sexy lingerie and make him beg and tell you how great you look(LOL) That's always a morale booster. So your is not alone just understand how scary it is for him to be gone so much and his wife is getting hotter by the day.




    Highest Non-Pregnancy related weight 03/08: 279
    1st Weigh-in 6/18: 262
    2nd Weigh-in 7/15: 249
    7/25: 244
    Regained all weight plus some
    01/05 265
    01/10 255

    1st Mini goal: 2/05 235
    2nd mini goal: 03/05 225
    Ultimate goal : 210-215 by 05/15 Grad School Graduation!!!!

    Goals subject to change based on how I look and feel as I lose weight.

  9. #13
    Silver Phenster litascorner's Avatar
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    Funny you should mention that Kellgees. My husband and I talked about that when I started phen. I told him I was my own worst critic and I needed all the encouragement that I could get. This is before I found this site. He agreed that I was normally far worse on my views than anyone else could be. I sometimes think because I was in a rut for 6 years, that it is impossible to be losing the weight. I think he is in as much denial as I am when it comes to looking in the mirror. I see the changes with the pictures, but as far as in looking at myself, nothing. I wonder if he sees the same thing that I do. I'm not trying to bash on my husband, he is the love of my life. It's just hard to hear from other people how good I look and my husband be the last one to notice it. I would love to follow the idea that it's because we see each other everyday, but that's not true. He's a truck driver and I'm lucky if I see him 2 days a week. Oh well, I guess I'll just chalk it up to being a guy thing.

  10. #12
    Silver Phenster Kellgees's Avatar
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    I agree my husband very rarely compliments with word but his eyes and hands say it all. The other day he did give a verbal compliment but it was not a pretty compliment it was like "wow keep it up and you are going to disappear" . Sidebar my husband likes big girls. Have you guys ever talk about your weight and what his preference is. I know its a scary conversation but you might find out he likes you with more meat on your bones. Ladies we have to take a littl epart in the compliment defecit. Men are like children we have to be explicit with our needs. When my husband gave me a verbal compliment, or anything I want him to continue I give him a treat. You want DH to do something you have to really play it up when he does and or tell him you need it. Something like "Babe it really motivates me and make me feel good when you spontaneously/positively notice my weight loss. It really makes my day when you let me know I look good" See how you are letting him know what you need and ego stroking at the same time. I know the feminist argument is that we should not have to do this but it is what it is.
    Last edited by Kellgees; July 17th, 2008 at 11:40 PM. Reason: typos




    Highest Non-Pregnancy related weight 03/08: 279
    1st Weigh-in 6/18: 262
    2nd Weigh-in 7/15: 249
    7/25: 244
    Regained all weight plus some
    01/05 265
    01/10 255

    1st Mini goal: 2/05 235
    2nd mini goal: 03/05 225
    Ultimate goal : 210-215 by 05/15 Grad School Graduation!!!!

    Goals subject to change based on how I look and feel as I lose weight.

  11. #11
    Silver Phenster litascorner's Avatar
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    That makes sense, but it would still be nice for him to say something nice about how hard I'm trying.

  12. #10
    Gold Phenster dbethied's Avatar
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    you know how you said if he sees someone from high school he makes comments? that's another thing i've experienced with my husband....just like i see myself every day, he sees me every day, too! so....i showed him two of my comparison pics one day and he was like whoa....i didn't realize you had lost that much. people i see once every week or two would make comments before he would. i can't recognize my own weight loss until i see pictures...i think it's the same.




    4-2-08 202.2 lbs SW (began b12/lipo shot 1 a week - no phen)
    4-9-08 193.6 lbs
    4-16-08 190.8 lbs
    4-23-08 188.0 lbs
    4-30-08 185.6 lbs
    5-7-08 185.6 lbs
    5-14-08 181.2 lbs
    5-21-08 178.8 lbs
    5-28-08 177.6 lbs
    6-04-08 176.8 lbs (stopped the shots. trying it on my own)
    6-16-08 175.6 lbs (went back to the shots today!)
    7-9-08 170.6 lbs (slowing down, but still going down!)

  13. #9
    Silver Phenster litascorner's Avatar
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    Thanks KKraver! Exactly, I don't understand either. And they say women are the ones that don't make any sense.

  14. #8
    Bronze Phenster KKraver's Avatar
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    Maybe it's the fact that he's putting on, and your losing? Your before and after is like two different people! It might be reminding him that he's gaining a few when you tell him you're losing. Oh I don't know! I don't understand guys sometimes either.
    First, love and accept, then change.

    Toccara Jones is my avatar and inspiration. :BTW:

  15. #7
    Silver Phenster litascorner's Avatar
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    He knows my weight has been an issue for the past 6 years. He recently has started putting on a little weight himself. He's a truck driver if that explains anything. I don't know if he really don't see it or if he don't want me to get my hopes up. It's like if he sees a girl he went to school with, he'll say something like dang she let herself go, or she's really slimmed up. I don't know how he can comment on someones weight gain/loss, but be completely oblivious to mine.

  16. #6
    Gold Phenster dbethied's Avatar
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    well, i don't know if this is the case with your husband......but mine has never had a weight problem. because of that, i just think he doesn't realize how hard it is and what a big deal it is. plus, i think it makes him a little nervous that i'm getting smaller so he doesn't want me to get too excited lol. he does tell me that i'm looking good and he's glad i'm losing....but he doesn't get excited when i tell him i lost 4 pounds in a week or 2 pounds in a week.....it's like "oh cool" then next subject. he just doesn't get it.




    4-2-08 202.2 lbs SW (began b12/lipo shot 1 a week - no phen)
    4-9-08 193.6 lbs
    4-16-08 190.8 lbs
    4-23-08 188.0 lbs
    4-30-08 185.6 lbs
    5-7-08 185.6 lbs
    5-14-08 181.2 lbs
    5-21-08 178.8 lbs
    5-28-08 177.6 lbs
    6-04-08 176.8 lbs (stopped the shots. trying it on my own)
    6-16-08 175.6 lbs (went back to the shots today!)
    7-9-08 170.6 lbs (slowing down, but still going down!)

  17. #5
    Silver Phenster litascorner's Avatar
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    I think we need to get all the men in our lives together and give them a seminar on what we could be doing. We could not give two hoots about how we look or feel and let ourselves keep going. They should be thankful that we care enough about ourselves to want to lose this weight.

  18. #4
    Gold Phenster mapgirl's Avatar
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    Default Amen!!!

    I hear you to. I had some new jeans on last night and hubby didn't say a word. He thinks I am too number/size concious (sp) . Well yeah, I was excited because I was wearing a pair of jeans that was a size that I haven't been in since high school.

    Heck, I've been getting more compliments from the guys at work (I also work with hubby) than I do from him. Go figure.
    Weight before Phen 175
    SW - 170 (started Phen 4/15/08)
    CW - 160 (4/29/08)
    CW - 152 (5-22-08)
    CW - 147 (6-9-08)
    cw- 133 (9-28-08)
    CW- 125.5 (11-13-08)
    CW - 123 (12-20-08)
    GW - 120


  19. #3
    Silver Phenster litascorner's Avatar
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    I was using my gazelle 7 days a week at least 2 hours a day. Apparently that was too much for my body to handle, because my weight stalled out. So now, I use it 4 days a week for 1 1/2 hours each time. I also don't drink anything but buckoos of water, no salt, and try staying off the scale until the end of the week. It's discouraging if you have to watch it fluctuate. I don't know about your husbands feelings towards your progress, but you are beautiful!!! It's better for the weight to come off slowly, that means you have half a chance at it being a lasting weight loss program.

  20. #2
    Silver Phenster Kellbell19111's Avatar
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    Default I hear ya!

    I hear ya! I feel like mine won't say anything to me until I get back to my wedding weight, which is like 70lbs from now! You are doing great! Some of these girls are doing so awesome, I thought I would have lost more than just 7lbs in 15 days... I scared it won't all come off... Are you doing anything special, walking, jogging or special diet with the Phen, I'm just eating about half of what I would usually have, minus all the junk food. I'm taking in about 900 to 1000 calories a day, so I thought I would have lost more... oh well I'm not giving up just yet. I was so excited to lost 7 and my hubby was just like, that's nice. I hope when I drop another 10 he might notice.

    Post-Pregnancy Weight 215 on 5/5/08
    SW 189 : 7/1/08 - Started Phen
    CW 175 : 7/31/08
    CW 167 : 9/5/08
    CW 164 : 9/30/08
    CW 160 : 11/10/08
    BREAK FROM PHEN 12/1/08 - 1/4/09
    CW 160 : 1/8/09

    Mini Goal : #1 Lose 10lbs in a month of July (GOAL MET)
    Mini Goal : #2 165 by 9/19/08 (GOAL MET)
    Mini Goal : #3 160 by 11/10/08 (GOAL MET)
    Mini Goal : #4 155 by 1/30/09
    Goal 125


    (NOTHING TASTES AS GOOD AS THIN FEELS!)

  21. #1
    Silver Phenster litascorner's Avatar
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    Default Men....

    Why is it so hard for a man to own up and tell his woman how good she looks? I get real excited over losing a pound in a week. I am constantly telling my husband my progress. Sometimes I wished he would be just as excited about it as I am. Don't get me wrong, I'm doing this for me and not him. But d*mn it, a little consideration of the effort that I'm putting into this would be nice.

    No.......

    The response I get out of him is, "Well whatever works for you."

    What I'd love to hear.....

    "D*amn baby, you're starting to look real good!"

    Just because you're with a man for almost 10 years, they think they don't have to give compliments anymore. Go figure!

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