Ashamed of becuz of food ??
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  1. #44
    Diamond Phenster Band Mamma's Avatar
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    Charvel: I am so sorry your mother did that to you. To be blunt, that was completely uncalled for and your mother does not appear to be helpful at all when it comes to eating. That was really awful.

    Yes, I have done pretty much all of the above. Even while on vacation, I am still researching weight loss, nutrition, and eating disorders. Currently, I am 3/4 of the way through a book about Overeater's Anonymous Maintenance. It's an older book, but the author is very insightful about how over eating makes you feel about who you are as a person. The title is "Maintenance for compulsive overeaters" by Bill B. Although you have to slog through a ton of Overeater's Anonymous, there are some astounding insights into the disorder.

    Sorry to bring the topic down, it's just been on my mind a lot lately: they WHY of it all and the HOW to change it.

    I'll try to bring it back up again:at one point a vendor would send my hubby CASES of M&M's- plain and peanut. Whenver we'd run out, hubby would call and a week later they would magically appear at home again. I ate and ate and ate and ate those M&M's. If I had to guess, I'd say we went through around a dozen cases in 6 months. To this day, I'd still eat M&M's if you gave me some. So whoever has them, pass them over! I'm on vacation, dang it!
    LOL

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  3. #43
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    HA! This is sooooo cute!! I love it!!!! I thought I was the only one that would sneak and eat!!!

    I remember when my oldest daughter was just 2 or 3 (shes 17 now, boy Im showing my age!!) and going to Story Time at the local library. They always had lil snacks for them, like cheetos (OMG CHEETOS!!!), cookies, fruit punch. She never wanted to eat there and she took a plate home.

    On this certain day, we stopped by my grandmas house before going home. She got out of the car and bolted to the door cause she always got something when she stopped by. I took advantage of the situation, and started CRAMMING cheetos and cookies in my mouth while going to the door.

    I didnt know my grandma was standing at the kitchen sink and had the window open, all of a sudden I heard "PIGGY PIGGY PIGGY" and really disgusting pig sounds. That almost killed me, I sulked and cried for days. And the more I cried the more I ate. Endless cycle.

    That was the beginning of my hiding and eating. I had the same thoughts as a kid, if I cant see you, you cant see me!!

    I would get up in the middle of the night and raid the fridge, in the dark of course, you cant be seen!! Eat like a box of little debbies and drink about a half a 2 liter bottle of dew or pepsi.

    I cant believe I just shared that story!!!

  4. #42
    Phen Newbie Bridget Jones's Avatar
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    I have sooooo many instances of realllly shameful eating habits I could publish a book but that would just get me thinking about all those foods again and that would be counter-productive. Fellow phensters, I am one sick cookie when it comes to binge eating and hiding it. I find most of them really funny except that now my food friend has turned on me and instead of bringing comfort and solace, my food habits have made me quite ill. So, now I try to remember that every time I think I'm getting away with something by eating, sneaking, or hiding food, I am contributing to my illness. Man, what a drag I am! I hope someday I won't be fighting this all the time but for now, I am. Guess I better get back to my doc and phentermine.

  5. #41
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    Unhappy

    I ashamed most of the fact that I would eat until I was sick. I'm talking throwing up sick. I would drink chocolate milk and a muffin for breakfast multiple candy bars, chips,cookies,and then I would go to lunch. And night I would eat 2 plates of food and then snack after snack. And then my stomach would hurt so bad that I would not sleep. The worst part is that I work in a candy/gift shop. It was so bad and I'm so F___king ashamed of that.

  6. #40
    Silver Phenster cashmonkies's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Raquel View Post
    great, a counterfeiter - You DO fit right in with all us other criminals! hehehe

    and I really hate to be the one to tell you this ... but psssssssst, ... sit down, this is going to hurt ...


    THAT is a TURTLE on your ticker.... ummm not a monkey.
    LMAO.> Sounds good to me..

    HAHA, I know, I couldnt find any monkies on there, so I choose a turtle, since This losing weight is going to be slow, just like a turtle moves

    Cute Monkie BTW
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  7. #39
    Gold Phenster thin4good's Avatar
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    I remember one time we went to a friend's house that offered us a bowl of french silk ice cream. Well BF and I never eat ice cream or keep any junk food at all in the house (not even ingredients to bake sweets). So when we ate it, both BF and I both exclaimed how it was better than sex! LOL, not really but oh my god it was so good! And she told us how it had half the calories of regular ice cream, so that week I went out and bought a half gallon, I convinced myself I was going to "surprise" BF with it one night. That never happened, I kept it hidden in the freezer and ate the whole half gallon over a week.

    I remember I went to go buy another, and I stood there staring at it in the grocery freezer for 10 minutes talking myself down from buying it again! LOL, that was a few months ago. Fortunately, I haven't done it since then!
    41 down 36 to go!

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  8. #38
    Bronze Phenster Rinn_3's Avatar
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    Wow! I can't believe so many of you have done this, too. I remember one time, stopping for take-out, and by the time we made it home, my daughter was asleep. I got up after one was asleep and ate her meal. The next day my husband mentioned it and I lied and told him we left it out overnight and I threw it away. There are other instances...I have also done our infamous ice cream charade. Gotten up and had way more than I realized and later blamed it on the kids or some other crazy story. HUH! Great to admit this to people who have been there.
    "Believe you can, and you're halfway there."


  9. #37
    Silver Phenster fatbabygirl28's Avatar
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    I am so guilty of this. Sad thing is, I still don't have control of it... I found myself in my bathroom, eating a candy bar. Not just any candy bar, a GIANT candy bar. A 3 musketeers to be exact.... I don't know what the heck is wrong with me sometimes. See as a professional in the trucking industry, I see alot of damaged food in my office. Well, normally I have no problem taking the food home with me and giving it away. I can't tell you the number of the burger king hershey and apple pies I have given away. A min of 5 cases with 72 in a case and I manage not to eat even one. But when that box of 36 ct candy bars comes home with me.... I can't leave it alone. I ate 4 of them this weekend. 4 whole candy bars. The worst part, I didn't even get punished for it because I STILL lost weight. 4 freakin candy bars.... I really think I am going to vomit at just the thought of eating them... Needless to say, if the box is still there when I get home, it is going to the daycare tomorrow. Horray for an in home sitter. Forgive me Father for I have sinned..... :head hung down in shame:
    Get thin and God Bless! Gina


    I swear I'm trapped in that body somewhere!

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  10. #36
    Silver Phenster jenstarns's Avatar
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    So nice to know I am not alone!!!! I am a night eater I wait until everyone one is in bed asleep and then I start on the goodies I buy for kids and hubby...ice cream, chips, leftovers from dinner etc...... I remember one night I got so pi**ed at hubby cause he was staying up late and I really wanted some icecream but wouldn't eat it in front of him I am crazy
    SW 5/24 188.8 started Phen
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  11. #35
    Bronze Phenster Supastar0284's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sivad View Post
    When I was little I used to sneak and eat the cake iceing my step mom had for her cakes. I would do this several times spoonfulls at a time. Several times a day. When it was time for her cake she would look for the iceing and couldn't find it. She always thought she forgot to get it at he store. I would sneak snack cakes, ice cream, chips, or whatever was in the house and eat it when no one was around. I've done the fast food drive-thru thingy too. Stop and throw away the trash before I got home.
    Yes! That reminds me. I used to sneak to the fridge and eat leftover funfetti icing by the spoonful. Funfetti is my weakness. I also remember staying at my older sisters house when I was little and she had about 3/4 of a cake with funfetti icing leftover in the microwave. I kept sneeking to the microwave and scooping off icing with my finger. Then I would try to spread out the rest to even it out. Eventually I took so much icing that it was impossible to cover up what I had done. When she discovered the cake I denied it. I'm not sure if she believed me or not. I think she suspected one of her younger children.
    *Amber*

    "My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four
    unless there are three other people." ~ H.G. Welles







    Stay away from that icecream cake!


  12. #34
    Silver Phenster socialite's Avatar
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    Thankfully, I don't have a man to catch me lol. But I have made cookies for when my kids would come in from school (tryn to b all motherly) and I would break off a certain amt of cookie dough so they could have a certain amt each, and what do I do? End up eating a few extra and then have to re-bake some more. And they never knew

  13. #33
    Diamond Phenster insearchofme's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by amckevly View Post
    Oh my gosh, this thread makes me feel less like a freak now! I never had a problem with my weight or food until after I had my daughter. I think I had a bit of PPD and it triggered me to binge eat. I would buy my husband snacks like Little Debbie cakes, then eat them before he came home to even see them there! There have been other times where I would eat something then run to the store and get more to replace before he got home! I have done that MANY times!
    I have also used the excuse( that someone else posted about too!) that I left the ice cream out and it melted. I have made up some crazy stories to cover up my food addiction that I am sure my husband thinks I am a ditz. I guess I figured I would rather him think than I am an idot that an out of control binger!
    I have pretty much gotten it under control now, but there have been a couple of days where it has gotten the best of me and I give in. It is so much easier to control the madness now though!
    Thank you for posting, because I really did feal like a freak too. It's like I have NEVER had a problem with my weight and I had a healthy relationship with food although I have always had poor body image issues. Anyway I was diagnosed with postpartum depression also. I always though however that depression causes one to lose weight not gain.

    Anyway here is my moment of shame. I used to eat pounds and pounds of plain M&M's EVERYDAY. They started out as "potty treats" and a regular candy bar sized bag would last a week or longer. At some point, I discovered that they were handy treats and I began to eat them non stop. I would keep a bag hidden in my bedroom. My husband who was unaware of my habit would periodically ask if I smelled chocolate?

    You know that things are bad when you round all the kids and walk to the store just for a bag of M&M's.
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  14. #32
    Diamond Phenster insearchofme's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by soc wkr View Post
    I have had some binges in the past, cannot remember on what in particular, but I really had the opposite problem when I was a teenager ( a little over 10 years ago..telling my age now! ) I dealt with anorexia when I was a teenager and I would starve myself and have everything very well controlled, which later I realized that the problem was that I am definitely a perfectionist and really wanted some control and so food and my weight was the thing to control since I never liked my body. The lowest my weight got was 98 lb. and I had a couple more episodes of it in college (never got quite down to that again, but I was skinny!) Anyway, don't know if anyone on here ever dealt with that, but it is another type of eating disorder where you learn and develop certain behaviors that are definitely not the best and the habits are hard to break! I figure that's probably why I am hypothyroid now, I think I wore out my thyroid gland!
    In my twisted mind, I am stuck on 98lbs. Funny that was always a dream of mine. Yes I am 5' 10 and I am not sure how I would look to other people but something tells me I still wouldn't mind.

    I am going back to finish reading the other comments now.
    HEIGHT 5' 10"
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    Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can! ~Arthur Ashe

  15. #31
    Gold Phenster LoSingWeightin08's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by basketballmom View Post
    Tinabean...I totally understand the drive thru thing. I got in the habit of going through the drive thru at Hardees and now sometimes McDonald's just to get a sweet tea (which is my addiction...I could not move out of the south b/c I have to have my sweet tea) and I would then tell myself to go ahead and get a sausage biscuit (or sometimes sausage, egg, and cheese) since I probably wouldn't get to eat lunch anyway. Then a couple of years ago, Chik Fil A opened on our campus (I teach at a college) and of course they located right next to my building!!! They have awesome sweet tea too and of course I will end up with a chicken sandwich or nuggets!! It looks like sweet tea may be the root of all this is evil for me!
    ahhhh if u think chik-fil-a on campus is bad, u shoulda been @ my old school where there was a kfc !! ::sigh:: now i see why they say first time college students gain weight..they put such good (yet bad) food on campus!
    The proof is in the pics!!! <3





    Starting over again!!!!

  16. #30
    Bronze Phenster basketballmom's Avatar
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    Tinabean...I totally understand the drive thru thing. I got in the habit of going through the drive thru at Hardees and now sometimes McDonald's just to get a sweet tea (which is my addiction...I could not move out of the south b/c I have to have my sweet tea) and I would then tell myself to go ahead and get a sausage biscuit (or sometimes sausage, egg, and cheese) since I probably wouldn't get to eat lunch anyway. Then a couple of years ago, Chik Fil A opened on our campus (I teach at a college) and of course they located right next to my building!!! They have awesome sweet tea too and of course I will end up with a chicken sandwich or nuggets!! It looks like sweet tea may be the root of all this is evil for me!

  17. #29
    Bronze Phenster basketballmom's Avatar
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    100 calorie packs...what's great about them is that since they're only 100 calories you can eat like 7 packs of them!!! That's what I find myself doing anyway. It's easy to lose track of how many of those stupid packs you eat in a day!! And we're paying big bucks for someone else to put the food in small calorie packs for us! What is wrong with this pix? And why didn't I think to do that and make the big bucks?

  18. #28
    amckevly
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    Oh my gosh, this thread makes me feel less like a freak now! I never had a problem with my weight or food until after I had my daughter. I think I had a bit of PPD and it triggered me to binge eat. I would buy my husband snacks like Little Debbie cakes, then eat them before he came home to even see them there! There have been other times where I would eat something then run to the store and get more to replace before he got home! I have done that MANY times!
    I have also used the excuse( that someone else posted about too!) that I left the ice cream out and it melted. I have made up some crazy stories to cover up my food addiction that I am sure my husband thinks I am a ditz. I guess I figured I would rather him think than I am an idot that an out of control binger!
    I have pretty much gotten it under control now, but there have been a couple of days where it has gotten the best of me and I give in. It is so much easier to control the madness now though!

  19. #27
    Silver Phenster Sivad's Avatar
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    Oh....I forgot something lol. Tonight, we took my step sons to their mothers house and I had a peanut buter milkshake from sonic.....YES IT WAS GOOD AND I DRANK IT ALL IN ABOUT 10 MINUTES!!! I do let myself have some kind of cheat eat every now and then. But I get right back on track when I'm satisfied.
    07/21/10 - 247 lbs
    06-14-2010 - 256Lbs
    1st doc visit 06-17-10: 253
    MiniGoal: By August 21, 12 more pounds
    1 month goal: 235 by August 21




  20. #26
    Silver Phenster Sivad's Avatar
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    When I was little I used to sneak and eat the cake iceing my step mom had for her cakes. I would do this several times spoonfulls at a time. Several times a day. When it was time for her cake she would look for the iceing and couldn't find it. She always thought she forgot to get it at he store. I would sneak snack cakes, ice cream, chips, or whatever was in the house and eat it when no one was around. I've done the fast food drive-thru thingy too. Stop and throw away the trash before I got home.
    07/21/10 - 247 lbs
    06-14-2010 - 256Lbs
    1st doc visit 06-17-10: 253
    MiniGoal: By August 21, 12 more pounds
    1 month goal: 235 by August 21




  21. #25
    Silver Phenster tinabean's Avatar
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    Yes, Yes, AND Yes!

    Shame on me!! I remember last year for the longest time when I dropped my son off at school I would go thought the drive thru at McDonald's just for a sweet tea, or so I thought. I thought no one just goes thru for a tea so I ended up ordering a breakfast bagel usually the steak, egg, & cheese! I would do this about 2 -3 times a week. I actually used to justify this as "me" time OMG!! What was I thinking?? I don't even no what the calorie count was on that and I don't want to know! It would prob ally make me vomit right now.

    As for allowing myself little splurges every day- yes. But in moderation. I am and always will be a sweet-a-holic! I have lost so much weight,but reality is I still love sweets.
    Mostly chocolate. I decided to go with the very dark choc. I take 1 -3 dove or nestle dark choc. bites I bet at least every day. I fit it into my cal. count. I have too! I won't never have gotten where I am today without the splurges (small of course- portion control is the key to live by.) I think it is better to get it out of your system them build it up so much that you end up eating the whole bag. I decided when I went down this weightless journey that I have to realize my weakness' and try to work around them the best I could but there will be days that the power of the choc. is far greater then me and I can not and will not beat myself up over a small sample of choc. when I have made so many other good choices for the day.

    Life is Sweet! Must learn to live with it!

    Tina

  22. #24
    Silver Phenster mandagrl1's Avatar
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    OhmyLord YES! We snuck too. My dad was way strict on us having sweets. We were ALL overweight. Me, my sister, my brother and my mom. Mom was the manager of a bakery. Yeah, that is just great eh??? So at the end of the night when they closed, she would bring home a bag with like 2 dozen donuts, cream horns, etc.... but knew that dad would have a fit if he saw us with it. Well, me and my sis had a trunk in our room, so she would run it in to us and we'd stash it.

    When me and my sister moved into our first apt, I remember getting up at 2am and eating brownies and drinking coke, completely mindlessly and going back to bed. I still do it from time to time. It's like I sleep eat. I often don't remember it until a day or so later!

    You know, before Phen one of my FAVORITE meals was to go to Chilis and get Chicken Fajita Quesadillas with fries and corn, then ranch dressing to dip the fries and oh about 5 glasses of sweet tea, then if that wasn't enough, I would get a paradise pie for dessert.....Uh yeah, that all is around 1800 calories!! Good grief!
    Amanda in AL
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    6/17/08-263 BLOATED! Blah!
    6/18/08-258
    07/07/08 Overdid it this weekend! 259 Crap!
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  23. #23
    Gold Phenster LoSingWeightin08's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Supastar0284 View Post
    Ugh, this thread brings back bad memories of childhood. I used to hide food in my bedroom so no one would see me eating. One Christmas when I was about seven, my mom made a HUGE container of those seasoned oyster crackers. I sat in front of the tv and ate a massive amount without even realizing it. When my mom discovered how much was missing, I told her that I acidentally dropped the container and spilled a bunch on the floor.

    One night when I was about eight mom made spaghetti and these really good pillsbury breadsticks for dinner. I really wanted a breadstick and couldn't wait for dinner, so I grabbed one and ran to the bathroom with it. I forgot to lock the door and mom came and caught me. She said I didn't have to sneak, and I could've just had a breadstick. I remember being so ashamed and embarrased because I was just so used to sneaking my food.

    I'm going to go cry now!

    One evening my mom was

    its like we had the same childhood. except i was sneaking so much & got caught most of the time..my parents were even considering putting a padlock on the fridge @ one time.
    The proof is in the pics!!! <3





    Starting over again!!!!

  24. #22
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    I have had some binges in the past, cannot remember on what in particular, but I really had the opposite problem when I was a teenager ( a little over 10 years ago..telling my age now! ) I dealt with anorexia when I was a teenager and I would starve myself and have everything very well controlled, which later I realized that the problem was that I am definitely a perfectionist and really wanted some control and so food and my weight was the thing to control since I never liked my body. The lowest my weight got was 98 lb. and I had a couple more episodes of it in college (never got quite down to that again, but I was skinny!) Anyway, don't know if anyone on here ever dealt with that, but it is another type of eating disorder where you learn and develop certain behaviors that are definitely not the best and the habits are hard to break! I figure that's probably why I am hypothyroid now, I think I wore out my thyroid gland!

  25. #21
    Silver Phenster ibluedragonfly's Avatar
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    Unhappy

    I am ashamed yet relieved at the same time to hear all of these food "shame" stories.

    Yes, I've gotten fast food - ordering enough for two large meals - while pretending the other meal was for my husband.

    My biggest shame is my addiction to sushi... There is a great sushi place near our home, conveniently on the way home from work. I would order MANY sushi rolls and miso soup for "two" and pretend I was having a get together with friends... then I would gobble it all up once I got home. Those days are now over, but I still allow myself a "cheat" day on Fridays to go out with my husband and eat sushi... I just have to do a long run or hike in the mountains Saturday morning to keep me on track!

    Do you allow yourselves a "cheat" day? If so, how often? What are you limitations?
    As you think, so shall you be...

  26. #20
    Bronze Phenster Supastar0284's Avatar
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    Oh yeah, I remembered something else. I used to go to town with mom even if I wasn't interested in going where she wanted to go just because I knew we would probably get to stop at Mcdonald's for lunch. I also looked forward to vacations not for getting to spend time at the beach, but because I knew we'd get to go out to eat a lot.

    I also used to eat the leftover crust on everyone's plates after we had pizza for dinner.

    My relationship with food has always been very shameful.
    *Amber*

    "My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four
    unless there are three other people." ~ H.G. Welles







    Stay away from that icecream cake!


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