Another Goal NOT reached
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  1. #20
    Wonder Phenster scatanafas's Avatar
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    yeah girl he's home but he's not the man he was before the doctors mismanaged his health. he walks with a cane, he can't feel certain extrremities, he is tired and has to take a mess load of medications..his kidneys are damaged..his feet are all swollen...girl he is a mess and it hurts me to look at him. I almost don't recognize him. He was a healthy man til they started messing with him....sons of *****es gonna pay for what they did to my daddy.....before they go and do this to somebody else. Getting a lawyer isn't really even about getting money, its just to prove a point that coumadin is a dangerous drug and if I doctor doesn't know how to prescribe it and monitor a patient correctly then they need to not prescribe it at all and refer patients to specialists!!!

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  3. #19
    Gold Phenster YANIE's Avatar
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    YEAH!!!!! Dad is at home!!!!! Lawyer????What??? Did I hear you correctly, legal proceedings behind his hospitalization? What? now we really have to pray!!!! Girl, I hope you find the best of the best of the best! Attorney...........................Love ya!
    SW-268 (5-16-08)
    (5-26) 263
    (8-11) 234

    1st MINI GOAL=========>230



  4. #18
    Wonder Phenster scatanafas's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by YANIE View Post
    I dont believe it!!!! Your numbers in my opinion look good and match the picture.......So I like it!(but I guess you are not trying to attract me)LOL!!! I have not been on in a while hope family is doing fine! How about you?

    Oh Yanie, I love you so much girl....and i don't care if you're attracted to me or not, thse days i'll take a compliment from anybody that is willing to give it!

    thanks for asking , my daddy is home from his second hospital stay in a month and we're hoping we saw the last of that sicko place for a while. One hand didn' know what the other hand was doing. I'm getting a new doctor for him, new specialists and a lawyer. This has been very stressful for me. My sister went on her second vacation during all of this so I'm not speaking to her. This all fell on me.....not that I would have it any other day cause i adore my father. So many people love and respect him, he was so kind to people over the years. He gave to the poor and would let people eat for free at his diner if he heard folks didn't have money and were hungry.....What always surprised me was how above it all he was while living in a segregated neighborhood. (think Spike Lee Jungle fever) People of all colors and walks of life loved and respected him and he taught me to look at what people were on the inside rather on their color or religion. He taught me things that I carry around with me forever and make me who I am .....He deserved alot better than being hurt for life thanks to some doctors that didn't know what the hell they were doing or thought that he was just another dope from the bronx that didn't deserve good medical care or wouldn't question what they were doing........

    I'm a Christian woman but there is gonna be a barbeque and some doctors are gonna be roasted.....before they try and kill somebody else....

    (aren't you glad you asked? LOL you got me started girl, stand back everybody i'm TESTAFYIN"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! )
    I did it!! Reached goal and have been here for quite a while thanks to low carb eating and working out like crazy! Phen didn't work for me, but that isn't to say that there aren't other ways. God bless all of you!

    [Obsession is the greatest form of flattery.........

  5. #17
    Wonder Phenster scatanafas's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lovemyboys View Post
    scat all I can say is I feel your pain!!

    I so know what it is like to have that love hate realtionship with food...I know that is where I get my comfort from, cuz we all know I get none at home....
    I lost the 19 on phen, and lately I have been acting as if I can eat whatever I want..I have not weighed in weeks cuz I just dont want to know...If I see the number go up, I get in the mind frame of awww F-it, and the cycle continues!

    I do know this that you have been a big part of my happiness in the last few months. You houmor and concern has made my smile and cry!!

    So I am one of your fans...

    Scat..I love you!! MWAH!


    And one day I will met your little fine A** in NY and we are going to go bloomingdales on hitlers visa!!

    Then party!


    Awww man, I would love to make Hitler fry like that....we both know that the way to hurt him is by getting his money...we'd have to go on a shoe shopping spree like chechas and when we're done doing that we might as well head on over to Barney''s since that is in the same neighborhood...woot woot........

    I know that you know my pain, I turned to food for love and that is a real shetty place to find love.....can't snuggle up with a pint of hagen dagz and the ice cream doesn't call you in the morning or send you flowers...dang...........

    You also were thinner in days past and so this obsession with food is something that developed over time...we're both trying to recapture younger happier days and a smaller body to boot....Maybe I can't go back in time, i don't know......I do know that wanting to lose 20 lbs should be as hard as finding the dead sea scrolls..but for some reason it is turning out to be that way.

    Right now it is afternoon and i'm still in pajamas....I don't feel like going anywhere or doing anything...that is just wrong, it isn't like me..not sure what is going on but i am going to try and straighten my buckwheat hair now and go to the store...baby steps...baby steps.................going to start my phen today.....
    I did it!! Reached goal and have been here for quite a while thanks to low carb eating and working out like crazy! Phen didn't work for me, but that isn't to say that there aren't other ways. God bless all of you!

    [Obsession is the greatest form of flattery.........

  6. #16
    Gold Phenster lovemyboys's Avatar
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    scat all I can say is I feel your pain!!

    I so know what it is like to have that love hate realtionship with food...I know that is where I get my comfort from, cuz we all know I get none at home....
    I lost the 19 on phen, and lately I have been acting as if I can eat whatever I want..I have not weighed in weeks cuz I just dont want to know...If I see the number go up, I get in the mind frame of awww F-it, and the cycle continues!

    I do know this that you have been a big part of my happiness in the last few months. You houmor and concern has made my smile and cry!!

    So I am one of your fans...

    Scat..I love you!! MWAH!


    And one day I will met your little fine A** in NY and we are going to go bloomingdales on hitlers visa!!

    Then party!

  7. #15
    Gold Phenster YANIE's Avatar
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    I dont believe it!!!! Your numbers in my opinion look good and match the picture.......So I like it!(but I guess you are not trying to attract me)LOL!!! I have not been on in a while hope family is doing fine! How about you?
    SW-268 (5-16-08)
    (5-26) 263
    (8-11) 234

    1st MINI GOAL=========>230



  8. #14
    Wonder Phenster scatanafas's Avatar
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    thanks girl but hat picture was from five years ago.....

    If you saw me right now yo'd think i was the ghetto bag lady...you k now the lady that goes to the store with her weave half finished and in her slippers and pajamas..girl that's me...I look scary right now.
    I did it!! Reached goal and have been here for quite a while thanks to low carb eating and working out like crazy! Phen didn't work for me, but that isn't to say that there aren't other ways. God bless all of you!

    [Obsession is the greatest form of flattery.........

  9. #13
    Gold Phenster YANIE's Avatar
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    Hey Scat!!

    This is the first time I have ever seen you and you look gorgeous! In my book you look awesome no matter what!
    SW-268 (5-16-08)
    (5-26) 263
    (8-11) 234

    1st MINI GOAL=========>230



  10. #12
    Diamond Phenster
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    Quote Originally Posted by scatanafas View Post


    Yanno a friend of mine went with me on a trip to the city and she kept asking about when we were going to eat and waht we were going to eat and she said to me "Well you know girl its all about the food"....No..IT AIN"T........My life isn't going to be about food anymore.
    You can say that again. It's my new attitude as well ..

    Case and point: Last night we were at a friends, and it was a "SHINDIG" I'm here to tell you ... anyway - the food was flying, people making plates, etc. And I was talking with a couple and they mentioned something about the food is worth coming for ...
    I didn't mean to sound like some pyscho b itch that has an eating disorder but I heard myself saying - ohhh I didn't come here for the food, I'm enjoying visiting with everyone .. it's always too long between visits.

    I even found myself at the kids table for the majority of the "eating" part because I was enjoying them and we of course had to show the adults the songs we knew could be sung at the top of our lungs ... not to mention, I had to show the kids I could blow the straw wrapper further than they could.
    Again - I was telling myself "it's not about the food"

    VERY difficult way of thinking .. when it comes to social events, but like you said Scat, it's not about FOOD anymore.
    Keep the faith!

  11. #11
    Wonder Phenster scatanafas's Avatar
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    Sgt, thanks for sharing girl. One important thing to bring up is that eating disorders are not black and white, there is alot of gray area....of course there are certain criteria doctors use so that they can make a clinical diagnosis....but if you had looked at me years ago when i was bulimic you wouldn['t think that there was anything wrong with me , but trust me,t here was. It wasn't until I crapped myself in Sears that I admitted I had a problem....the story is really funny now but not back then. Especially since I didn't get to finish looking at the sales rack...bahahahahahhaahahahhaha

    When I was younger and skinny food was not an issue. I didn't obsess over my weight or food....skinny people don't do that. They eat when they are hungry and stop when they are not. I wish I could get back to that place, cause it would mean one less problem in my life..it would mean freedom. That is my goal right now........

    I could talk about this all day but I don't want to get all Dr Phil on yo' arses........thing is I'm moving past this whole food problem...atleast I hope that I am.........Yanno a friend of mine went with me on a trip to the city and she kept asking about when we were going to eat and waht we were going to eat and she said to me "Well you know girl its all about the food"....No..IT AIN"T........My life isn't going to be about food anymore.
    I did it!! Reached goal and have been here for quite a while thanks to low carb eating and working out like crazy! Phen didn't work for me, but that isn't to say that there aren't other ways. God bless all of you!

    [Obsession is the greatest form of flattery.........

  12. #10
    Silver Phenster sergeantsgirlfriend's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by scatanafas View Post
    I totally understand Staceyrella.....I have to admit I get a little perturbed when I see someone at 110 lbs complaining that they can't get down to 98! LOL.....but I'm sure there are folks that look at me that way too...we are all in this together though..no matter what our size. We need to support one another......and some of us feel the same pain, just for different reasons.

    My best friend is 300 lbs and when she hears about someone with anorexia she says "I'm gratefl that isn't my problem, I just like to eat"....she would rather be 300 lbs than be anorexic ....i thought that was an interesting way of looking at things. Makes you think of what it is like to be in the other person's shoes...I think it stinks either way...whenver you have to focus and obsess about waht you put in your mouth it totally ****s.

    an example is me this weekend. I know this party is coming up on sunday. Im worried about how I am going to eat there, what I am going to eat, will my outfit that i want to wear fit me that day since im so bloated today? This is not normal. A normal person that doesn't have a problem with food gets up, gets dressed and goes to the party...they focus on socializing rather than what is on the buffet line...they dont' obsess with how they look in an outfit.....does their butt look big? is someone looking at them? did someone notice this is their third time up for more food? Should I eat the whole piece of cake or just the frosting? This is what going to a party is for me...a bulimic doesn't think rationally about her weight or about food.......After the party is done with she wants to eitehr make herself throw up or take laxatives to get the damage she did off her body..

    Sick, isn't it? Welcome to my world.
    I can so relate to everything you just wrote. You might have read in other posts that a few years ago I struggled with anorexia and some other issues. I was labeled anorexic but I still wonder about that "label" because I'm not sure what I was. I would go days without eating, some days I would have ten green beans all day, some days I would eat a whole bag of cookies and then make myself vomit. I hated food and I had no control over myself. I would look at food and cry because I was so afraid to eat. I was addicted to water pills and laxatives. My lowest weight was 99 pounds and I'm 5'3" mind you. My aunt forced me to get counseling and thank God she did. I probably wouldn't be alive now if she hadn't. I woke up many days and wished that I hadn't. It was a really dark point in my life. I had overeating/binge eating issues when I was a little girl but my therapist says my anorexia issues were brought on by the death of my parents. Apparently the lack of control made me reach out to something I could control, food. The ironic part was that I couldn't control it but in some crazy way I felt like I could. During therapy I started eating again and I gained weight, a lot of it. I would cry when I ate. It took me a really long time to feel like it was okay to eat again. Even when I weighed 99 pounds, I had problems...major ones. It's funny how we go through things and we go from one extreme to the other. I've been on both sides and I understand. I've been the skinny girl and I'm the fat girl now. I'm just trying hard to find me somewhere in this journey. It is a struggle every single day for me as I'm sure it is for most of us on here. I wish it were easier because a lot of pain comes with struggling with weight issues, no matter what yours are. I read all of the stories on here and I sympathize with everyone. I'm glad that we can share with each other, it helps. Some of us have further to go and some of us are almost there but we are all in the same boat together. Hugs to all of you!

  13. #9
    Wonder Phenster scatanafas's Avatar
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    I totally understand Staceyrella.....I have to admit I get a little perturbed when I see someone at 110 lbs complaining that they can't get down to 98! LOL.....but I'm sure there are folks that look at me that way too...we are all in this together though..no matter what our size. We need to support one another......and some of us feel the same pain, just for different reasons.

    My best friend is 300 lbs and when she hears about someone with anorexia she says "I'm gratefl that isn't my problem, I just like to eat"....she would rather be 300 lbs than be anorexic ....i thought that was an interesting way of looking at things. Makes you think of what it is like to be in the other person's shoes...I think it stinks either way...whenver you have to focus and obsess about waht you put in your mouth it totally ****s.

    an example is me this weekend. I know this party is coming up on sunday. Im worried about how I am going to eat there, what I am going to eat, will my outfit that i want to wear fit me that day since im so bloated today? This is not normal. A normal person that doesn't have a problem with food gets up, gets dressed and goes to the party...they focus on socializing rather than what is on the buffet line...they dont' obsess with how they look in an outfit.....does their butt look big? is someone looking at them? did someone notice this is their third time up for more food? Should I eat the whole piece of cake or just the frosting? This is what going to a party is for me...a bulimic doesn't think rationally about her weight or about food.......After the party is done with she wants to eitehr make herself throw up or take laxatives to get the damage she did off her body..

    Sick, isn't it? Welcome to my world.

  14. #8
    Silver Phenster Staceyrella's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by scatanafas View Post
    NOT MY BIGGEST FAN??? Well why the hell not? That really hurts my feelings cause I always liked you......

    You know girl my weight issues may not seem like a big deal to you, but I am so screwed up in the head when it comes to my relationship with food....I can see how someone would resent me for complaining about being 140..but I did lose 30 lbs before getting to this point. and trust me girl I didn't carry it well like alot of girls on here can....I looked and felt like total crap.

    My big dark deep secret is that I was a bulimic....so I have as many weight issues as a bigger girl would, except with me its all psychological.

    I'm alot better than I was, and I"m down to the last ten which are a real pain in the butt. but trust me girl I am not naturally thin..I work HARD to stay this way...and when I feel a binge coming on it totally screws my head..a binge for me can last for days....then i hate myself..its awful. i have the ability to gain 100 lbs....my mama did it so I know that you can be a skinny woman and in what seems like a blink of an eye gain weight to the point of hurting your health.

    So I hope that explains myself a little to y'all, not that I owe any of you skanks an explanation...LOL..But i'ms ure there are some that think i'm nuts for taking phen at 140 lbs...and the anwer to that is Yes, i am nuts....i admit it.....I don't want food to be a major issue in my life....I want to be normal.....I look in the mirror and I see a fat ugly girl that doesn't want to go to the beach or wear sexy clothes.....it is really sad cause the best years of my life are passing through my fingers...but like I said, I am getting alot better.

    And you are helping me get better.......

    peace
    Hey Chicken Butt!

    I wasn't your biggest fan because I didn't know how to take you.. but since you have been so kind to me.. I admit, I didn't give you a fair chance... But I adore you now... Truly. You are a real riot.

    And... I mean it when I said you have taught me that my weight is going to be a lifetime commitment .. Ups n Downs... if you do it at your weight... it's no different at my weight.. I used to be one that would trip out on someone who weight aton less than me and not be happy. I have learned alot from this forum..

    I hate that you have gone through so much .. emotionally and physically... but you are such an honest person... so upfront and out spoken.. I dig it.

    And if that is you in your signature.. you are freakin HOT!

    I hope you didn't take my initial responds to heart... I meant it in no way but loving!
    My world is expanding as my butt is shrinking!

    http://www.myspace.com/fishlippswhoa

    2/12/08-346.8 (Started Weight Watchers)
    3/11/08- 332.8 (Down 14lbs. in 4 weeks!)
    3/16/08- 330 (Started Phentermine)
    3/31/08-327 (According to the dr's scale)
    4/15/08-321
    4/29/08- 318
    5/9/08-313
    5/20/08- 311
    6/03/08-314(+3 lbs.)2 weeks of BAD eating! Poor choices! ETC!
    6/17/08-311 THANK GOD I LOST WHAT I HAD GAINED!
    7/8/08-309 (Finally back on track)

    7/15/08-308 (slooooooow)
    7/29/08-306

  15. #7
    Wonder Phenster scatanafas's Avatar
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    Oh another thing i failed to tell yh'all is that i was a fitness instructor, and this made me even more self conscious about my weight. I had some of the *****iest students EVER and they really size up whoever the instructor is and expect her to look perfect....well real women aren't perfect..only barbie dolls and they are too stiff to teach aerobic dance...LOL....

    I haven't taught in a few months and I don't miss it.....I think it is a relief if anything. I may take the zumba workshop though and teach zumba classes cause I love latin music and i love dancing.....I can't wait to get in shape again, I've been turning to mush.
    I did it!! Reached goal and have been here for quite a while thanks to low carb eating and working out like crazy! Phen didn't work for me, but that isn't to say that there aren't other ways. God bless all of you!

    [Obsession is the greatest form of flattery.........

  16. #6
    Wonder Phenster scatanafas's Avatar
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    Thanks for your support J's mom...i guess now you are my new best friends cause staceyrella is getting scratched off my friends list...LOL..JUST KIDDING

  17. #5
    Gold Phenster Jsmom's Avatar
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    Wow Scats!! I give you much props and respect for being able to speak openly about your battle with bulimia!! The number on the scale doesn't matter if you are not happy and content with who you are on the inside. I wish you the best of luck

    ***Sending LOTS of (((((((HUGS)))))))) your way********




    Highest Weight 196
    Lost 50lbs on Phentermine + WW
    Gained 15lbs 8/09-2/10
    Started HCG 2/19/10
    3/19/10 Down 20.6lbs
    Currently on Phase 3 of HCG Diet
    Staring Phase 2 again 4/9

  18. #4
    Wonder Phenster scatanafas's Avatar
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    NOT MY BIGGEST FAN??? Well why the hell not? That really hurts my feelings cause I always liked you......

    You know girl my weight issues may not seem like a big deal to you, but I am so screwed up in the head when it comes to my relationship with food....I can see how someone would resent me for complaining about being 140..but I did lose 30 lbs before getting to this point. and trust me girl I didn't carry it well like alot of girls on here can....I looked and felt like total crap.

    My big dark deep secret is that I was a bulimic....so I have as many weight issues as a bigger girl would, except with me its all psychological.

    I'm alot better than I was, and I"m down to the last ten which are a real pain in the butt. but trust me girl I am not naturally thin..I work HARD to stay this way...and when I feel a binge coming on it totally screws my head..a binge for me can last for days....then i hate myself..its awful. i have the ability to gain 100 lbs....my mama did it so I know that you can be a skinny woman and in what seems like a blink of an eye gain weight to the point of hurting your health.

    So I hope that explains myself a little to y'all, not that I owe any of you skanks an explanation...LOL..But i'ms ure there are some that think i'm nuts for taking phen at 140 lbs...and the anwer to that is Yes, i am nuts....i admit it.....I don't want food to be a major issue in my life....I want to be normal.....I look in the mirror and I see a fat ugly girl that doesn't want to go to the beach or wear sexy clothes.....it is really sad cause the best years of my life are passing through my fingers...but like I said, I am getting alot better.

    And you are helping me get better.......

    peace

  19. #3
    Silver Phenster Staceyrella's Avatar
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    I have so much respect for you. I admit when I first came here, I was not your biggest fan. LOL BUT now, I think you rock. Seriously, when I was going through my tough time, you were there and you were so positive for me... and I thank you for that. I give you all the credit for making me see the light LOL

    Also, it is because of you that I realize that this is a Lifetime change/commitment. No matter how "thin" I get, it will always be a constant battle. I sit here and think, "If I were 140 lbs I would be SO happy." But would I really? Atleast I think so... but who knows. I know that you gave yourself a goal, and although you did not reach it by the date you wanted to, I am confident that you will reach it soon. If not, later. You are going through tough times... I hope you always keep your head up! You are inspiring, funny as all hell and you are successful.

    Good Luck Scat!
    My world is expanding as my butt is shrinking!

    http://www.myspace.com/fishlippswhoa

    2/12/08-346.8 (Started Weight Watchers)
    3/11/08- 332.8 (Down 14lbs. in 4 weeks!)
    3/16/08- 330 (Started Phentermine)
    3/31/08-327 (According to the dr's scale)
    4/15/08-321
    4/29/08- 318
    5/9/08-313
    5/20/08- 311
    6/03/08-314(+3 lbs.)2 weeks of BAD eating! Poor choices! ETC!
    6/17/08-311 THANK GOD I LOST WHAT I HAD GAINED!
    7/8/08-309 (Finally back on track)

    7/15/08-308 (slooooooow)
    7/29/08-306

  20. #2
    Silver Phenster sergeantsgirlfriend's Avatar
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    You've been going through a lot so don't be so hard on yourself. Hang in there and you can do it!

  21. #1
    Wonder Phenster scatanafas's Avatar
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    Default Another Goal NOT reached

    Okay , 130 bls by fourth of july was not reached. I got down close to it, then gained alot bck...I didn't weight myself this morning but I know that I am up somewhere around 140.....so here we go again...just wanted to address it becaues i took it out of my siggy.
    I did it!! Reached goal and have been here for quite a while thanks to low carb eating and working out like crazy! Phen didn't work for me, but that isn't to say that there aren't other ways. God bless all of you!

    [Obsession is the greatest form of flattery.........

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