OT - Making sense of the senseless
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  1. #15
    Platinum Phenster dalako's Avatar
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    OMG!! I am soo sorry about what has happened. Just know that you, your family, his wife and family are in my prayers and thoughts.
    I am so, so sorry! It is a horrible thing!
    Height= 5'8"
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    CW 7/1/08 = 222
    CW 8/5/08 = 215 -Down 45lbs WOOT WOOT!!!!

    Next Mini Goal = 210


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  3. #14
    Silver Phenster wildcat1842's Avatar
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    I'm so sorry, that's horrible. The family will be in my prayers.

  4. #13
    Gold Phenster thin4good's Avatar
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    Thank you all for your support! I know there's not much that can be said when you hear of something like this. I live in California and all of my family is back in New York, where this incident took place. I am usually the "rock" of the family in emergencies though. LOL, even 3,000 miles away I'm usually the first one to get the call in moments of crisis. So, I have received a lot of calls from distraught family members looking for comfort and answers. I am glad I can help take away some of their grief and pain as they talk to me about it. While I have a great group of friends out here, they are so far removed from the situation, it's hard for me to share my grief with them. Being able to write it down did help me release it.

    My baby sister was in the room when they removed DJ from life support. She works in the hospital so she stopped by to try to comfort the family in their time of need. Unfortunately, it has left her more grief stricken than she could have imagined.

    But Band Mamma, your advice to just breathe... I shared that with her last night when she called me because she couldn't sleep. And I sat on the phone with her just breathing in and out, telling her to let go of the pain with every breath. I think she finally was able to fall asleep last night. I have you to thank for that.
    41 down 36 to go!

    5/12/08 - 232.5 - Started Phen/lexapro combo
    5/29/08 - 218 -14.5 pounds in 2 weeks
    6/12/08 - 209.5 -8.5 for a total of 23 pounds in the first month!
    7/10/08 - 200 -9.5
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    12/8/08-191 +5.5

  5. #12
    Silver Phenster n8rgrl's Avatar
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    I am so sorry for your loss. My heart just sunk for you. I don't know what else to say except our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. And his children, especially his children, with them there. Oh my goodness, how horrible.
    Not helping-sorry. Will just pray for all of you.
    n8rgrl

  6. #11
    Diamond Phenster Band Mamma's Avatar
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    I'm so sorry for your loss.
    There is no making sense of the senseless. There is only breathing. One breath at a time, one post at a time; you will move through this awful time and you have our support whenever you need us.
    We're here for you. Type at us whenever you want, for however long you want.

  7. #10
    Gold Phenster thin4good's Avatar
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    Heh, you guys are very sweet! No, I'm not a writer for a living. Heck I really don't even write for a hobbie. Honestly, I usually only write about things when I can't seem to find a way to get them out of my head! For some reason when I write them down I'm able to move beyond them. Anyway, thanks again for listening!
    41 down 36 to go!

    5/12/08 - 232.5 - Started Phen/lexapro combo
    5/29/08 - 218 -14.5 pounds in 2 weeks
    6/12/08 - 209.5 -8.5 for a total of 23 pounds in the first month!
    7/10/08 - 200 -9.5
    8/07/08 -192 -8
    9/18/08 - 185.5 -6.5
    12/8/08-191 +5.5

  8. #9
    Silver Phenster jazzygal72's Avatar
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    I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend.. I can't even imagine.


    I'll get you, my pretty and your little dog too!

  9. #8
    Silver Phenster KSawyer's Avatar
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    I AM SO SORRY FOR YOUR LOST. MY HEART GOES OUT TO YOU....




    SW:237 4/26/2008
    CW: 219.2 5/1/2008
    CW: 214.2 5/08/2008
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    1st Goal: 200lbs by 5/22/2008 Goal Met
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    7/26/2008


    August 1, 2008

  10. #7
    Gold Phenster countryasadirtroad's Avatar
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    I can't imagine what everyone around you is going through. I am very sorry for the senseless loss of life. Don't appologize for dumping here, that's what we're here for.

    I do agree though. You have a wonderful way with words. Do you or have you considered writing for a living??
    210lbs-170lbs 10/01/08 - 3mo of phen & 3mo of just D&E
    208.5 lbs 05/04/10 - Wk 0 (started phen again)

    Mini Goal: 170lbs by my Vegas vacation in August



    Final Goal: 150lbs



  11. #6
    Gold Phenster thin4good's Avatar
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    Thanks you guys. Sorry to dump on the board, but I had to get it off my chest. I actually found out some horrible news just now.

    It has been told to the family by more than one source that the reason DJ even approached Tats was because the other team was making awful comments about DJ's daughter who was keeping score at the game. Apparently they were teasing her for being overweight. Every time I hear a new detail about this situation my level of disgust and outrage just heightens.
    41 down 36 to go!

    5/12/08 - 232.5 - Started Phen/lexapro combo
    5/29/08 - 218 -14.5 pounds in 2 weeks
    6/12/08 - 209.5 -8.5 for a total of 23 pounds in the first month!
    7/10/08 - 200 -9.5
    8/07/08 -192 -8
    9/18/08 - 185.5 -6.5
    12/8/08-191 +5.5

  12. #5
    Silver Phenster fatbabygirl28's Avatar
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    As insane as that tragedy is, as i'm reading and hurting for DJ and his family and friends, you and your family, I can't help but think about your writing. You have such a way with words to actually make me feel as if I knew him or at least knew of him. You have an amazing talent. I pray for peace to you and your friends family to feel his love around at all times.
    Get thin and God Bless! Gina


    I swear I'm trapped in that body somewhere!

    07/01 - 225 (first day on phen)
    07/05 - 219 (yeah!)
    07/14 - 215.5 (so close to 10 I can taste it!!)




  13. #4
    Gold Phenster LoSingWeightin08's Avatar
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    We are living in some troubling times. May your friend rest in peace & I pray that "prison" person is brought to justice for this crime.
    The proof is in the pics!!! <3





    Starting over again!!!!

  14. #3
    Phen Newbie
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    What an awful and senseless tragedy.

    My deepest sympathies...

  15. #2
    Bronze Phenster Supastar0284's Avatar
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    What a random and tragic death. The most frustrating thing, like you said, is that no one can a provide an acceptable answer to your question "Why?" Times like these shake us up and get us thinking about life. Maybe what you can take from this is just to treasure every moment you share with the ones you love.
    *Amber*

    "My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four
    unless there are three other people." ~ H.G. Welles







    Stay away from that icecream cake!


  16. #1
    Gold Phenster thin4good's Avatar
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    Default OT - Making sense of the senseless

    I know I haven't been on in a few days... The following is the reason why.

    http://www.13wham.com/news/local/sto...2-e44dafa6ef97

    I'm pretty sure this isn't the right place for this, but I feel like if I write my thoughts down, then maybe I can let them go. Maybe.

    A man I've known since before he was a man; an extended member of my family, a father of 3, brother of 2, and son, went to play softball Sunday afternoon and never made it home from the game.

    His name was Daniel Andrews Jr., we knew him as DJ. He and I were not close, but his niece is my niece, and he and his family have been a part of my family for more than 20 years.

    On Sunday afternoon, DJ took his family to a softball park only a few miles from where he was born and raised and continued to live. This park is also just down the road from the house where I was raised: DJ played on the same fields where my parents took me to watch my dad play softball as a little girl. My Dad's team was called “The Mooseheads" after the beer they drank; mostly after the games, but sometimes during. Back then, after the last “Out!” was called, all the families would congregate at the clubhouse. Once there, we kids would pluck our dirty fingers into salty fries and coat our faces with a combination of sticky sweet ketchup and pop we drank from glasses too large for our mouths. Our dads were just as dirty with their ball uniforms caked with a mixture of sweat, dirt from their base running, and occasionally spilled beer from the free flowing pitchers that made their rounds after the games. Mom would always complain about how filthy all of us were as we made our way home. The memories I have of that park are mostly happy ones.

    I remember the games could be competitive, and I often heard Dads say words that we weren't allowed to repeat. Sometimes we'd giggle at them; sometimes we'd heckle the other team for not playing fair. But what I’ve really tried to remember today is what happened at the end of those games. I can recall a game or two where my dad spent the car ride home grousing about an ump’s call. I also remember on more than one occasion him having too much beer to celebrate a great win and mom driving us home. However, at the end of every game the players from both sides would line up, slap hands, and declare “good game.” Sometimes us kids would line up in our matching jerseys behind them and slap hands too! Maybe there was more anger and tension than my childhood memory allows me to recall. However, I think everyone at the end of the day knew it was just a game.

    DJ, twenty-some years later, was doing the same thing with his family that my parents had done with my sisters and I. He brought his family to the ballpark on a Sunday afternoon to watch their dad play softball. His oldest daughter was the scorekeeper for his team and his two other children watched from the bleachers. However, his family isn't going to have the fond memories of the park that I do.

    From the reports I’ve seen, the team that DJ was playing against had a history of causing problems. They'd even had to change their manager and team name to keep playing at the park because they'd been in too many fights the season prior. This wasn’t the first time DJ’s team had played them either. They were a tough group of guys, and seemed proud of their reputation. One player with full sleeve tattoos on both arms was listed on the roster as “Tats” and the guy who had served the prison term was listed simply as "Prison."

    Growing up, DJ was never one to keep his mouth shut. In fact, he and his brothers were known as troublemakers in our town when they were younger. But now, they were all fathers with jobs and responsibilities. I don't think you'd ever hear anyone call DJ a saint, but I'm sure you'd hear quite a few tell you he was a good guy.

    I guess DJ's team was winning in the beginning, and the trash talk between the teams was constant. It was definitely getting heated at times, especially between DJ and the guy they called Tats. Eventually the tables turned and DJ’s team lost. During the post game handshake, DJ and Tats, got into each other’s faces. Perhaps a few shoves or punches were even thrown. Some say DJ only approached Tats because he was making disparaging comments about his daughter who was keeping score during the game. Others say there was too much alcohol being consumed. All of these details are still not entirely clear.

    What is clear is that while DJ and Tats were having their disagreement. The man the team called "Prison" approached DJ from behind and punched him in the neck. Just one punch. Some reports said it was a baseball bat, but no, it was just one man approaching another from behind and punching him in an incredibly vulnerable spot. DJ fell to the ground and never got back up. He couldn't breathe and his teammates started CPR.

    The police and an ambulance were called, and the man called Prison took off running as members of DJs team tried to chase him down. They say that DJ went 20 minutes without oxygen to his brain. They also say that Prison was out on parole after serving 4 of the 5 year sentence he received for assaulting someone with a golf club. According to the court papers, he swung 8 times and broke a man’s jaw and arm.

    The police spent hours searching for Prison as he had fled on foot into the swampland that surrounds the park, while DJ’s family went to the hospital praying that the doctors could tell them it wasn't as bad as it seemed.

    By nightfall, Prison was in custody and DJ’s family were informed he would never wake up. I can't imagine how different my life would be if the memories I have of my dad playing softball in that park were replaced with what DJ’s children witnessed.

    So many lives were affected by one random act of violence. I hear that Prison has a child on the way, and he was trying to turn his life around. I would be lying if I said I had any sympathy for Prison right now. But I can appreciate that maybe something happened to him when he was young, perhaps when he was the age of DJ’s children, that made it impossible for him to turn the other cheek. But it's pointless to ask why now. A life has been lost, a man will go to prison, and children will live without their fathers. All because of one minute that can't be taken back.

    I can't help but sit here imagining all of the "would'ves, could'ves, should'ves" that may have changed the course of Sunday’s game. If the umpire had stopped the game for the trash talking. If less agitated teammates had walked DJ and Tat away from the field. If there had been rules in place about felons on parole playing in local leagues. If the parole board had never let Prison out of jail. If the ball club had banned repeat offenders from playing. If someone had said maybe we should let the beer wait until after the game. If any one of these things had occurred, yesterday would have been just another day at the ballgame.

    Words such as "fate" "chance" and "random" swirl through my head. They share space with worn clichés like "everything happens for a reason" and "never take life for granted." But the reality is there is no way for me to make sense of the senseless. One cannot explain the unexplainable.

    The optimist in me would like to believe something positive could come from all of this. That maybe if everyone affected by this tragedy stopped the next time they wanted to exchange harsh words; we could prevent another lost life like DJs. But that doesn’t make his death any easier to comprehend. Besides, the cynic in me can’t help but worry that his untimely death is just as likely to trigger more acts of violence and words said in anger.

    No matter how much I try to comprehend what has occurred I have only come to one conclusion: There are no answers.

    DJ, may you rest in peace. May your loved ones find the solace and strength they will need to get through this, and may we all realize how fragile life is.
    Last edited by thin4good; July 1st, 2008 at 10:39 PM.
    41 down 36 to go!

    5/12/08 - 232.5 - Started Phen/lexapro combo
    5/29/08 - 218 -14.5 pounds in 2 weeks
    6/12/08 - 209.5 -8.5 for a total of 23 pounds in the first month!
    7/10/08 - 200 -9.5
    8/07/08 -192 -8
    9/18/08 - 185.5 -6.5
    12/8/08-191 +5.5

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