Scared Husbands?
Results 1 to 22 of 22
  1. #22
    Phen Newbie
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Posts
    1
    Photos
    View albums

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by fatbabygirl28 View Post
    I'm right there with you Graphic. My bf is also a chubby chaser. I am the smallest woman he has ever been with and I'm 225!! I am terrified of this but he keeps telling me that it was my looks that attracted him but me that made him fall in love. He's not going anywhere and he keeps telling me that. Still hard for my wandering mind to believe him sometimes but when i'm unsure, i just ask him to "tuck me in" as it was so nicely put. ha ha!
    My doctor is putting me on Phentermine but she told me that they took the Fen Phen out of it. Is this true and what makes a person lose weight on this? I've lost weight simply by cutting back tons of carbs...I literally eat only 30 grams per day! I eat a lot of protein in the form of eggs, cottage cheese, protein drinks like Jay Robbs (which does sort of have a weird tangy taste to it...including the chocolate but it's not bad) and well, I have fish, chicken but I don't eat red meat. I find it repulsive. I was 130 pounds only 12 years ago and I gained a lot of weight due to Hashimoto's Thyroiditis which is now full blown Hypothyroidism. This means my thyroid is going at a snails pace and it helps with metabolism so well...you get my drift. I've lost around 6 pounds in the last few weeks just listenting to the doctor and put it into practice. I do eat a lot of salads with low carb veggies. Thanks for your input!

    God Bless!~

  2. Advertising
    advertising
     

  3. #21
    Silver Phenster fatbabygirl28's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    I live near St. Louis, MO.
    Posts
    209
    Photos
    View albums

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by graphicMOM View Post
    Like everyone else has said, just keep reassuring him and showing him that you love him. I think that your weight loss will definitely encourage him to continue his own journey. I can definitely relate to this thread, but sort of from the opposite side! My husband needs to lose a little bit of weight, but not a ton. The thing is that he's somewhat of a "chubby chaser" so I've been concerned that he wouldn't want me when I'm skinny... so he's had to coninually reassure me that it's me that he loves, at any size. It's comforting to know that his love is about as unconditional as it gets.
    I'm right there with you Graphic. My bf is also a chubby chaser. I am the smallest woman he has ever been with and I'm 225!! I am terrified of this but he keeps telling me that it was my looks that attracted him but me that made him fall in love. He's not going anywhere and he keeps telling me that. Still hard for my wandering mind to believe him sometimes but when i'm unsure, i just ask him to "tuck me in" as it was so nicely put. ha ha!
    Get thin and God Bless! Gina


    I swear I'm trapped in that body somewhere!

    07/01 - 225 (first day on phen)
    07/05 - 219 (yeah!)
    07/14 - 215.5 (so close to 10 I can taste it!!)




  4. #20
    Phen Newbie derekandbrenansmom33's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    Henderson, Tennesee
    Posts
    9
    Photos
    View albums

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Supastar0284 View Post
    Thanks Country. It's funny what you said about not liking men in general because I feel the exact same way! My husband is in a different category than any other man. Why would I want someone when I'm skinny who didn't care about me when I was fat? I'm losing weight to make our relationship stronger, not so I can pursue new relationships.

    Thanks for the comments guys. I don't mean to make it out to seem that my husband is anything other than sweet, supportive and understanding. I should be glad that he feels free and comfortable enough to share his feelings of insecurity with me. I guess he'll just have to see that things will only get better for the two of us as I lose weight!
    I understand where he's coming from to an extent. My husband several yeras ago was going to the gym (he got really buff) and not that i was overweight, but it did cause me to be insecure. That he would get too hot for me, I guess...lol. But after 16 years, we are still together and I guess the biggest thing it will take for hubby is try to be as supportive and understanding of his feelings as you poibly can and only time will show him you are his and you're not going anywhere. That's what worked for my insecurities. It didn't take the whole 16 yrs, by the way...lol...Now, since I've lost weight (he's gained about 30 pounds himself since the "buff" days), he's seemed somewhat insecure, but it did motivate him to lose and he's down nearly 20 pounds now.
    One thing I would suggest is (and I know my hubby did this to me and it made me feel more insecure)---he would get so agrivated at me for being so insecure, that at times it would get on his nerves and he'd get mad at me. I understand that now...but at the time, it made me even more insecure. Didn't mean to write so much, but hope this helps:~)

  5. #19
    Gold Phenster stilltryin08's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    BFE
    Posts
    913
    Photos
    View albums

    Default

    I think men tend to see thier "buddies" or other men they know go through this situation where all of a sudden the women loses weight and runs around, or just up and divorces him because all of a sudden she is getting that physical attention she may not have gotten at home.....So that causes a lot of strain on a marriage....
    7lbs to goal
    "Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!"~anonymous

  6. #18
    Silver Phenster seashells_63's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Posts
    285
    Photos
    View albums

    Default

    Mine is much the same as RH's. My hubby is very supportive. He lost 15 lbs on his own! (summer heat raises, he walked around alot on his job like about 15 miles!) Yes I agrees with RH, MEN!!!! LOLLL
    What I want for Xmas is... an Onederland!!!

    almost!!!

  7. #17
    Wonder Phenster scatanafas's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Posts
    5,673
    Photos
    View albums

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by gothprincess View Post
    I agree! If it's just the sex holding the marriage together then it's already over. My hubby loves me no matter what I weigh(he tells me too), plus we've been through way more crap in our marriage to let weight ruin it.

    He's been jealous lately of my male friends, but not because I'm losing weight. He knows any of my male friends would love to take his place in my life(but I don't want them that way). My male friends have stuck by me thru my weight gain/loss too so hubby's afraid I'll leave him for one of them. I told him that IF I wanted them, I would have had them by now.

    Well put girl.......yanno this reminds me of a woman I know, her husbnd had two strokes in his thirties. His face is kind of messed up and I don't think that they can have sex anymore (the meds he takes leave him impotent)....but she adores him to no end and they have a good marriage anyway...i don't think that there are many people who would have stuck it out...Now THAT my friends is LOVE.........
    I did it!! Reached goal and have been here for quite a while thanks to low carb eating and working out like crazy! Phen didn't work for me, but that isn't to say that there aren't other ways. God bless all of you!

    [Obsession is the greatest form of flattery.........

  8. #16
    Silver Phenster RH584's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    Nevada
    Posts
    283
    Photos
    View albums

    Default

    My hubby is a few lbs (60) overweight. I don't really pay attention to it. He doesn't look overweight to me really. He just has a little padding and I love him that way. He is very supportive of me in this journey. We both want me to be happy and healthy. He says he doesn't want to lose me (because of poor health). He has not shown any concern that I would go anywhere else and I hope he doesn't because I would not leave him for the world.

    I do have an aunt and uncle on a diet though and there seems to be some animosity there. She is real strict about her diet and he is much more lax. That makes it really hard on her. I think the whole thing just causes tention that they don't need.

    Anyway, I would try not to worry too much. Just try to make sure he knows you love him. Another thing is that he is a male... So, just eating less and being active at work may melt the lbs away without him trying. My hubby lost 25 lbs in the same time that I did when I started back in December, but he wasn't dieting. He just lost it! Damn men! LOL! I was trying so hard and he got the results. It'll be ok.
    Keep on Keepin' on!








  9. #15
    Bronze Phenster texaslady's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    35
    Photos
    View albums

    Default

    My husband and I were both a lot thinner when we met. We have both gained a considerable amount of weight in the past 16 years. It has taken time but I have finally managed to get him to eat healthier. At first, he would not eat the healthier meals I fixed. Now, he asks for them. I'm still working on getting him to exercise but I also understand that he works out in the heat (electrician) and then comes home to work out on our ranch. So at least he's getting a workout. He has been supportive of my losing weight and I always encourage him too.
    texaslady

    2/14/08: 240 (started phen)
    2/20/08: 238
    2/27/08: 232
    3/3/08: 230 (break from phen)
    3/8/08: 230
    3/14/08: 232 (gained 2 lbs. since being off phen)
    3/15/08: started back on phen
    3/19/08: 232
    4/2/08: 228
    5/7/08: 226
    5/16/08: 224
    5/24/08: off of phen
    6/3/08: 223
    GW=185






  10. #14
    Silver Phenster
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    ATLANTA, GA
    Posts
    471
    Photos
    View albums

    Default

    I know when I start losing (if I can ever stick to a plan) it'll bother my hubby. He wants me to lose it....but is already concerned I'll leave him. I know if I lose weight he'll be more concerned. I'm hoping when I lose it I'll have more energy and be able to convince him he's the one I want. He's stayed with me during the almost 100 lbs I've gained during our marriage. Like someone else said why would I leave him for someone that wouldnt' have looked at me at the size I am now.

  11. #13
    Diamond Phenster gothprincess's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Hell...
    Posts
    2,398
    Photos
    View albums

    Default Gotta love Scat...

    Quote Originally Posted by scatanafas View Post
    My husband lost weight before I did but I didn't feel the least bit threatened. If he doesn't want me then Heck, I don't want him. There's the door mofo, don't let it hit you in your flat arse on the way out da door...for real.....I am way too self confident to start worrying. The success of our marriage should depend on more than the size of my butt or the size of his gutt...if it doesn't then we didn't have much of a marriage to begin with.

    I'm sure when you lose weight and start wearing hooker lingerie and jumping his bones he'll feel confident his woman doesn't want any other man..................
    I agree! If it's just the sex holding the marriage together then it's already over. My hubby loves me no matter what I weigh(he tells me too), plus we've been through way more crap in our marriage to let weight ruin it.

    He's been jealous lately of my male friends, but not because I'm losing weight. He knows any of my male friends would love to take his place in my life(but I don't want them that way). My male friends have stuck by me thru my weight gain/loss too so hubby's afraid I'll leave him for one of them. I told him that IF I wanted them, I would have had them by now.

  12. #12
    Gold Phenster stilltryin08's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    BFE
    Posts
    913
    Photos
    View albums

    Default

    I can relate also. I was with a man at my heaviest and then lost a LOT of weight like 100 + pounds...well he and his family went NUTZ on me. They accused me of all sorts of stupid things, well that drove us apart! Now my DH has seen me at my current weight (when we met) and I gained up to 210 when we married. Now that I am down to were we met, he thinks I should stop losing but does not say a single negative thing, niether does his family. They are all SUPER. He knows I love him and we have an understanding that there is really nothing either of us can do to "KEEP" the other person. We show each other respect, love, and understanding and beyond that if the other person really wants to leave, well they are able to. There is no reason to stress over that stuff, IMO! He can go out with his friends and there are women around (many who want him). I tell him if you want that go ahead! He laughs and says "the only one I want, is the one I married, see you at XXX time" Just this alone makes our marriage pretty strong!
    7lbs to goal
    "Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!"~anonymous

  13. #11
    Gold Phenster graphicMOM's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    South East USA
    Posts
    639
    Photos
    View albums

    Default

    Like everyone else has said, just keep reassuring him and showing him that you love him. I think that your weight loss will definitely encourage him to continue his own journey. I can definitely relate to this thread, but sort of from the opposite side! My husband needs to lose a little bit of weight, but not a ton. The thing is that he's somewhat of a "chubby chaser" so I've been concerned that he wouldn't want me when I'm skinny... so he's had to coninually reassure me that it's me that he loves, at any size. It's comforting to know that his love is about as unconditional as it gets.
    SW: 307 LBS 9/16/10.
    In 2008 I lost 91 pounds, but I've gained it all back... so here I am, at square one, but not for long.




  14. #10
    Silver Phenster tinabean's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Maryland
    Posts
    493
    Photos
    View albums

    Default

    I started a year ago on Phen. Lost a lot a weight. My husband was Very happy for me and very supportive.

    In January 2008 my husband started on Phen. He's down 85 lbs.!!
    He's lost more then me! But he needed to loose more-LOL

    We both feel great- together we are meeting our weightloss goals.

    We diet together and we cheat together. We have become even more close If ya know what I mean!!

    Tina

  15. #9
    Wonder Phenster scatanafas's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Posts
    5,673
    Photos
    View albums

    Default

    My husband lost weight before I did but I didn't feel the least bit threatened. If he doesn't want me then Heck, I don't want him. There's the door mofo, don't let it hit you in your flat arse on the way out da door...for real.....I am way too self confident to start worrying. The success of our marriage should depend on more than the size of my butt or the size of his gutt...if it doesn't then we didn't have much of a marriage to begin with.

    I'm sure when you lose weight and start wearing hooker lingerie and jumping his bones he'll feel confident his woman doesn't want any other man..................
    I did it!! Reached goal and have been here for quite a while thanks to low carb eating and working out like crazy! Phen didn't work for me, but that isn't to say that there aren't other ways. God bless all of you!

    [Obsession is the greatest form of flattery.........

  16. #8
    Silver Phenster jbenev5338's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Massachusetts
    Posts
    359
    Photos
    View albums

    Default

    I don't really have that same exact problem since i was thin before when i got with my husband but my husband also wants to do something with his weight. He will be asking his doc about phentermine or something to aid him with along..He has lost some weight independentlly but hasn't been on anything.
    I would recommend that maybe your husband try to get some aid to help him lose weight so that way he won't feel like you are losing and he is not


    Mother to a one year old active boy


    MAY
    2nd- 194 lbs started PHEN
    9th- 188 lbs
    25th- 186 lbs
    JUNE
    13th- 186 lbs
    20th- 182 lbs




  17. #7
    Bronze Phenster Supastar0284's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    Harrisonburg, VA
    Posts
    75
    Photos
    View albums

    Default

    Thanks Country. It's funny what you said about not liking men in general because I feel the exact same way! My husband is in a different category than any other man. Why would I want someone when I'm skinny who didn't care about me when I was fat? I'm losing weight to make our relationship stronger, not so I can pursue new relationships.

    Thanks for the comments guys. I don't mean to make it out to seem that my husband is anything other than sweet, supportive and understanding. I should be glad that he feels free and comfortable enough to share his feelings of insecurity with me. I guess he'll just have to see that things will only get better for the two of us as I lose weight!
    *Amber*

    "My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four
    unless there are three other people." ~ H.G. Welles







    Stay away from that icecream cake!


  18. #6
    Gold Phenster countryasadirtroad's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Posts
    569
    Photos
    View albums

    Default

    My husband is also quite a bit overweight and he worries about the same stuff. He's only known me since I was pudgy. He's supportive, but he's still worried. I just started this process a few months ago so I really haven't had a lot of time to figure out the best way to make him understand that just b'c guys may (hopefully) see me as more attractive once I'm thin doen't mean I'm going to all of a sudden start liking THEM. I don't like men in general... I'm not going to like them any better when I'm HOT!!! I reckon the best advice has already been stated... just keep supporting him and reassuring him with your actions. We'll get them through this. Don't get discouraged to leave him behind... you do what YOU need to do for YOU... and hope they'll finally get motivated to join us!!
    210lbs-170lbs 10/01/08 - 3mo of phen & 3mo of just D&E
    208.5 lbs 05/04/10 - Wk 0 (started phen again)

    Mini Goal: 170lbs by my Vegas vacation in August



    Final Goal: 150lbs



  19. #5
    Silver Phenster mandagrl1's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Posts
    211
    Photos
    View albums

    Default

    I agree with Scat. My husband is about 30 lbs over weight. He always b*tches and moans about wanting to lose it, yet he sits there and drinks 24 mtn dews in a week and eats whatever he wants! He sees me being good, so maybe that will encourage him! He makes comments on how he'd love me either way, but he knows I am doing this for my health. I lost my dad too young to a heart attack. I have a daughter now and I don't want her to lose me too.

    He will catch up, don't worry! Just give him lots of love and reassurance that you are all his!
    Amanda in AL
    Classified Binge Eater
    SW: 1/08- 294
    04/08- 264 diet and excercise - Binge Eater- off wagon after this!
    06/03/08 271- Started Phen per doc. 37.5mg 1x/day
    6/10/08-261 WOW! 10 lbs in one week!
    6/17/08-263 BLOATED! Blah!
    6/18/08-258
    07/07/08 Overdid it this weekend! 259 Crap!
    08/01/08 257.5 WTF?
    08/05/08 TOM came and gone...Drumroll.... 249.5 YES!


  20. #4
    Wonder Phenster scatanafas's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Posts
    5,673
    Photos
    View albums

    Default

    Jealous? PLEASE! My hsuband would PAY someone to take me off his hands...I think the mofo would be happy if someone else was paying my visa bill for him..bahahahhahhahaha

    But seriously, that is all about insecurity and there is no need for it. A man can snatch you up NOW, why would things be any different AFTER you lose weight? Y'all think only skinny people have affairs ? Hell naw! Just keep reassuring your husband that nothing will change, you are doing this for your HEALTH..you want to live alot of years with him

  21. #3
    Gold Phenster YANIE's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Northwest Georgia
    Posts
    612
    Photos
    View albums

    Default

    No, my husband is extremely supportive!!!
    SW-268 (5-16-08)
    (5-26) 263
    (8-11) 234

    1st MINI GOAL=========>230



  22. #2
    Diamond Phenster Band Mamma's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Posts
    2,157
    Photos
    View albums

    Default

    I don't really have any stories beyond his occasional jealous moment when he walks up to me in public and touches my shoulder or hand or something to show the person I am talking to that I am with him. LOL
    However, I can say that I have made sure hubby gets "the benefits" of my weight loss. I am a bit more adventurous and flexible now. I think this has helped him feel more secure about my loss.

  23. #1
    Bronze Phenster Supastar0284's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    Harrisonburg, VA
    Posts
    75
    Photos
    View albums

    Question Scared Husbands?

    My husband is overweight also. He is currently dieting and has an active job, but other than that he is not taking anything for weight loss. I have always been overweight so he has never known me any other way. He loves me just how I am and has never judged me. He is completely supportive of my weight loss because he knows I will be happier and healthier. The only thing is, he's afraid that once I lose the weight I won't want him any more. This breaks my heart because it is so not true! I tell him that would never happen, but he can't help the fact that he worries about it. I wish we were both on the same weight-loss path together. This could be a journey for us to experience as a couple!

    Anyone else have stories about supportive/non-supportive husbands? Anyone else experiencing a similar situation? I want to lose the weight so bad, but I feel guilty to leave him behind (meaning I lose weight while he stays the same).
    *Amber*

    "My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four
    unless there are three other people." ~ H.G. Welles







    Stay away from that icecream cake!


Similar Threads

  1. Boyfriends/Husbands Happy or Scared?
    By PrtyNita in forum My Experience with Phentermine (Year 2004)
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: November 8th, 2004, 10:21 AM
  2. MY HUSBANDS EX -WIFE!!@!!!!!
    By sandradee in forum My Experience with Phentermine (Year 2003)
    Replies: 29
    Last Post: July 30th, 2003, 04:26 PM
  3. Husbands?
    By sciteach in forum My Experience with Phentermine (Year 2001)
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: August 29th, 2001, 02:59 PM
  4. Here is to the husbands!!
    By mahvalous1 in forum My Experience with Phentermine (Year 2001)
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: August 14th, 2001, 05:10 AM
  5. Husbands!!!!
    By Lynnette in forum My Experience with Phentermine (Year 2001)
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: February 6th, 2001, 06:22 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •