compliments that hurt?
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  1. #12
    Bronze Phenster
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    I know what you mean. It is like after you get your haircut or a new color, and then after it grows out or you change it, people finally tell you how they really felt. My husband is the same way, but I really just think it is his way of keeping me motivated and he doesn't realize what it is actually goign to sound like to me. (Especially if I am in the middle of a phen fit )

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  3. #11
    Silver Phenster Ladybug's Mommy's Avatar
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    I think I'm fortunate to have a husband that has never commented on my weight. Even when I've thought I was extremely heavy, he never said anything. And now that I"ve lost some weight, he still hasn't said much-- says I still look the same to him which he says "looks good". I don't know, can't win ya know?

    However, I think co-workers and family members can sometimes hand out compliments that "hurt". They are intending to make us feel better but in the long run, offer up their opinions of us "before". My grandfather is notorious for that. When I visit him, he'll either tell me how great I look since I've lost some weight.. or he won't comment at all.. which is when I know, I've put on some weight!
    SW 185.8 9/16/06 Size 14!!!
    SW (w/Phen) 181 12/9/07
    1stAppt. 176.2 12/13/07
    CW 155.4 6/23/08 (-30.4 lbs) Size 8


    Doctor's Goal Weight for me: 150
    My personal Goal Weight: 145



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  4. #10
    Gold Phenster dbethied's Avatar
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    i know....after i cuss him out for saying stuff like that he always says "just remember i was with you through thick AND thin...don't forget that!"




    4-2-08 202.2 lbs SW (began b12/lipo shot 1 a week - no phen)
    4-9-08 193.6 lbs
    4-16-08 190.8 lbs
    4-23-08 188.0 lbs
    4-30-08 185.6 lbs
    5-7-08 185.6 lbs
    5-14-08 181.2 lbs
    5-21-08 178.8 lbs
    5-28-08 177.6 lbs
    6-04-08 176.8 lbs (stopped the shots. trying it on my own)
    6-16-08 175.6 lbs (went back to the shots today!)
    7-9-08 170.6 lbs (slowing down, but still going down!)

  5. #9
    Platinum Phenster 4mami_mia's Avatar
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    men are insensitive, my hubby is like that too.

    Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Nutrition Facts For Foods

  6. #8
    Silver Phenster RH584's Avatar
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    My father used to say that I would look good at 150 lbs. Argh! Thanks dad. My hubby does say things the wrong way sometimes, but in some ways, I would rther he said something the wrong way than say nothing at all. He doesn't acknowledge my loss really. He has said a couple things, but that is it. I know he supports me and I am sure your husband supports you, it is just that men are emotionally challenged most of the time.
    Keep on Keepin' on!








  7. #7
    BronzyBella
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    I see what your saying, but guys just don't know how to word things properly. Just know that he loves you (i'm sure you do) no matter what. He was probably proud to hold your hand before the weight loss but maybe now he is even more proud to do so. Think of it this way: Before your weight loss, I"m sure you were proud to wear a dress....but now you are EVEN MORE proud to wear a dress (I know, I know---crappy example, but do you get what I'm saying?). Just take the compliment for what it is and let the rest roll of your back. Don't get me wrong, I TOTALLY know what you mean, but don't sweat it! Deal with the NOW and what he thinks of you NOW----and remember that the bonus is he loved you before the new you!


    Ok...I think my response waskind of random...sorry lol---but I hope it made some sense.

  8. #6
    Gold Phenster Misty2262's Avatar
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    My mother would always say "You have the most prettiest face......and your sister has the most gorgeous body......if we could have combined the two, I'd be rich."

    I think she was joking, but I have never asked her. And we are all clueless that we are that huge. Hell I was a walking elephant and never saw myself that way. Now I'm lighter and see myself as the walking elephant. It's amazing what our minds do to us.




    SW 289 2/27/2008 Sz 28
    229 8/07/2008 Sz 16/18

    2/27/2008 - Began Phen -size 28

    3/2008 - size 24

    9/2008 - size 18

  9. #5
    Gold Phenster dbethied's Avatar
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    i guess it's just the fact that when he says that stuff.......and i was so clueless back then about how big i really was.....i just think "if i would've known you felt that way.........." it doesn't hurt so much NOW because i know i'm getting smaller, but god! i would've cried if i had known he felt that way at the time. i guess i should just be glad he's not a complete ******* that made me feel like a cow every day like some men.




    4-2-08 202.2 lbs SW (began b12/lipo shot 1 a week - no phen)
    4-9-08 193.6 lbs
    4-16-08 190.8 lbs
    4-23-08 188.0 lbs
    4-30-08 185.6 lbs
    5-7-08 185.6 lbs
    5-14-08 181.2 lbs
    5-21-08 178.8 lbs
    5-28-08 177.6 lbs
    6-04-08 176.8 lbs (stopped the shots. trying it on my own)
    6-16-08 175.6 lbs (went back to the shots today!)
    7-9-08 170.6 lbs (slowing down, but still going down!)

  10. #4
    Platinum Phenster dalako's Avatar
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    I know what you mean. My hubby sticks his foot in his mouth ALL the time!!! I have learned that it isn't worth it to pay attention to it.... so i let it roll off of me....

    although there have been acouple of times that i catch him and say something on purpose, just to watch his 'wiggle'.... LOL it's fun!!!!
    Height= 5'8"
    SW = 259 1/24/08
    CW 2/21/08 = 238 Lost 20 lbs
    CW 3/20/08 = 234 total 24 lbs went off phen
    CW 4/18/08 = 221 toal 33 lbs *reached mini goal
    CW 6/9/08 = TOM & Vacation.... 231 dang it- But it was fun
    CW 7/1/08 = 222
    CW 8/5/08 = 215 -Down 45lbs WOOT WOOT!!!!

    Next Mini Goal = 210


  11. #3
    Platinum Phenster sassychica's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Raquel View Post
    In my simple opinion ~ Some men just don't have the right words ...












    (bless their stupid hearts)


    Bwahahahaha I loved your last line! I think raquel is right. They just have no clue how to say what they mean. I can't think of any personal experience with it though!

  12. #2
    Diamond Phenster
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    In my simple opinion ~ Some men just don't have the right words ...












    (bless their stupid hearts)
    Hi, I'm Roc & I'm on the weight loss rollercoaster as well as a 42 yr. old - mother of 3 year old twins. An entirely different rollercoaster
    1/9/08 228
    1/19 210
    2/09 215
    2/12 210
    3/11 206
    3/21 200
    4/13 199
    5/18 198
    6/6 201
    7/10 210
    7/21 199
    8/26 199

  13. #1
    Gold Phenster dbethied's Avatar
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    Default compliments that hurt?

    so, before i started this weight loss thing my husband had never ever said a word about my weight. i mean, when i would bring up wanting to lose it and stuff he would encourage me, but never even say "yeah, do it!" or anything at all even implying he didn't like the way i looked. i weighed a lot less when we met so i always thought it was so sweet that he never cared that i had gained so much weight....at least i thought!


    now he makes comments that are intended to be compliments, but he refers to the way i looked in the past and it hurts my feelings! i mean, i know i don't look like that now, but good lord it was only 3 months ago that i did! for example....we went out to eat last week and he grabbed my hand while we were walking in from the car. he was like "you look good. i'm proud to hold your hand now!" i was thinking "NOW?!" as in.....you were ashamed before? i mean, like i said.....he never let on like he cared and he did always hold my hand and kiss me and stuff no matter where we were, but still! i don't think he even realizes he is doing it, but it bothers me. well, i guess this is why they say the truth hurts! does anybody have any clue what i'm talking about?




    4-2-08 202.2 lbs SW (began b12/lipo shot 1 a week - no phen)
    4-9-08 193.6 lbs
    4-16-08 190.8 lbs
    4-23-08 188.0 lbs
    4-30-08 185.6 lbs
    5-7-08 185.6 lbs
    5-14-08 181.2 lbs
    5-21-08 178.8 lbs
    5-28-08 177.6 lbs
    6-04-08 176.8 lbs (stopped the shots. trying it on my own)
    6-16-08 175.6 lbs (went back to the shots today!)
    7-9-08 170.6 lbs (slowing down, but still going down!)

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