well sooo my mom died 6/15/08
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  1. #12
    BronzyBella
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    Your mother is ill. She cannot help how she is. Being that she can't help it then she is dangerous. Yeah she's your mother but you have children and you need to protect them. Also, in no way, do you deserve to have someone punching you. I think you did the right thing. Don't let anyone tell you different. I wish you the best in everything. OT----your weight loss is amazing. You look great in the pics.---and good luck with your nursing certificate!

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  3. #11
    Gold Phenster dbethied's Avatar
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    do what you think is right.....screw what everyone else says. i don't even speak to my entire family on my dad's side....not one single person because i grew up around them and they are trash. i knew what pot and lortabs were when i was 5 years old and how much they cost.

    i don't want my kids around them. i kept in touch with one person and that was my brother....until he stole my camcorder that had my daughter's entire first year of life on it. like he couldn't have taken the tape out before trading it for crack or whatever he did with it? he showed up at my house about a year later and i shut the door in his face..........haven't seen him since. i love him, but if he loved me he wouldn't have done that to me.....i'm sure that's how you feel about your mom.

    anyway, u are doing right keeping the kids away from people you don't want them around while you still have control over it.




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  4. #10
    Silver Phenster RhondaB's Avatar
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    I'm sorry you have to go through this. The old saying "we can't choose our family" is so true. She may be your Mother...but it sounds like she never has been your Mom. Your gmaw has been that. I feel that you did the right thing completely here. And for the record, you sound like a great Mom
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  5. #9
    Bronze Phenster aberro30's Avatar
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    Having family with a mental illness is stressful! Believe me, I do know how you feel. My first marriage , about a month into it, he completely lost it, and never got it back. I think it was more drug abuse induced, and well, he ruined the good that he had in his brain. Mental doc after mental doc, they always told me, that he really messed himself up. I could write a movie as well about my situation, but that is the past, and I do not dwell on it, because all it does is create problems in my life now. Better to focus on the positives of your life then hang on to what brings you down. I know that biologically, she is your mother, however, no matter how hard you "try" to help, it wont work unless they truly want the help. Tough Love! I wish you more happiness with your family, that is more stable, and I know it is hard to have someone you love sick...as well as your grandmother. My thoughts are with you.




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  6. #8
    Diamond Phenster
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    My God Girl, I'm so sorry.

    Take care of you -

    VERY proud of you for removing your kids from all this - I don't care who has the title "family" if they are not a positive influence on my kids, they don't breathe the same air and yes, it's inconvenient, difficult, hurts other family members etc. but kids 1st. They are worth all this effort you are making.
    And you are doing that. Way to go MOM!
    You are the mom your mom never could be. A good one.

    I didn't read it - but guess I'm assuming you will be one who now is going to be responsible for you gmaws care.
    You'll be great at bringing her happiness as well giving her the quality time and care that will make her sunset years peaceful - God know she deserves it.

    Your story is a sad one, no child should have to go through what you did - but I tell you, it's made you strong.

    I don't know much about mental illness - but I think it leaves of it as a shell of a physical person, not emotionally intouch person.

    I wish you all the best - I scrolled back up to see where you lived, lol if you were closer, I didn't know what, but I was going to offer what I could for you.

    Finally - I think writing is very theraputic - you are good at it!
    Hi, I'm Roc & I'm on the weight loss rollercoaster as well as a 42 yr. old - mother of 3 year old twins. An entirely different rollercoaster
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  7. #7
    Diamond Phenster insearchofme's Avatar
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    I am so sorry that you are going through this right now. Try not to understand that that your mother is ill. This is nothing personal against you. ((((Hugs))))
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  8. #6
    Silver Phenster Ronda033's Avatar
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    Think of it this way...mental illness is not something that a person can control. If she is not on meds, or doesn't take them like she is supposed to, the madness will never stop.
    Take pity on her and don't waste your energy hating her. That will do you no good.
    Just step in and help take care of your grandma and have wonderful memories of her (she his your real mom anyway).
    Good luck with all this. It's a heavy load to carry.
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  9. #5
    Wonder Phenster scatanafas's Avatar
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    giving birth to someone doesn't make you a mother. Your mother is ill, I feel for her but at the same time I can understand you not wanting to have her in your life.

  10. #4
    Diamond Phenster Band Mamma's Avatar
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    My mother-in-law is schizophrenic. I could try to explain bunches to you, but none of it would help you right now. The bottom line is: when the mentally ill are dangerous it is best to involve the law in some way. Her meds (if she is taking them) are not working for her and she needs to be controlled. You have every right to protect yourself and your family from her. No guilt necessary. I can talk to you about this any time you want. I've seen it first-hand as a close, but still outsider, to hubby's family. It's very painful and decisions are difficult. Best of luck and rest to you tonight, tomorrow, and in the future.

  11. #3
    Silver Phenster RH584's Avatar
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    Its okay to vent. I am sorry you had to go through this. You are in my thoughts.
    Keep on Keepin' on!








  12. #2
    Silver Phenster angelchar77's Avatar
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    Seriously turn it into a 150 page novel and you got a NY times best seller. Honestly I applaud you for not wanting someone like that in you and your kids lives. Aside from being you mother. What has she done for you that has been motherly. If that was my mother she wouldnt be in my life. Most people will disagree with me but thats how I am.

    BTW - Great job on the weight loss... WOO HOO for you!!!!
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  13. #1
    Silver Phenster lailbanana's Avatar
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    Thumbs down well sooo my mom died 6/15/08

    i started this for me yes.. but many of yall know that i told my dad that i would lose 50 lbs before his weddin (aug 2) and currently rite now in this moment i weigh 206 thats freakin crazy~! i never thought in a million years that i would have lost 40 lbs in 3 months that blows my mind... sooo i have 3 more lbs to lose before aug 2... yall know what would be awsum?!?! if i could be under 200 by then i have like a month and a 1wk or sumthing i think i can pull another 7 lbs out lol

    on another note... i go to different workout classes at my gym.. well my favorite one (body bootcamp) is being stopped bc the trainer (excuse me HOT trainer lol) is moving to be w/ his gf who is serving in the army.... soooooo this blows... but i picked up a new class past thurs. legs, butts, and guts and i love that trainer too soo it all good


    NOW the other news....

    i was debating wether to post this or not.. but im gonna go ahead i dont even have it on my myspace and i put EVERYTHING THERE.. soo yall r the first to know (via internet)

    on june 15th my mom died... (to me at least) my mom has schizophrenia ... she has had it for 8 yrs now ... well i guess she has always been a carrier but, diagnosed bout 8 yrs back she is very very ill tempered, very unsocialble, and has a nasty attitude (she always has) she constantly choosing anything (*men*) over me and my brother.. i moved out when i was 9 yrs old and started living w/ my gmaw. soo my gmaw raised me took care of me and spoiled me rotten! my mom has just been a person in my life whos bs interfers w/ daily activities.when i turned 18 i moved out and supported myself and my daughter.. my brother moves in w/ my gmaw.
    @ the age of 14yr (me) my mom TRIES to commit suiside by overdosing --- it didnt bother me... my mom is adopted by the gmaw who raised me my moms real mom killed herself w/ a gun when my mom was 8 yrs old... so i didnt take pitty in her tryin to "off" herself.. bc if she felt that she could leave behind a 14yr old and a 9 yr old then... thats on her.. years pass ahhh tha teenage years ... lol so u know how that goes, then when i am 19yrs... yet again my mom tries killing herself... she is put in a mental hospital where they release her after 2wks.. in 2005 my moms bf calls me tellin me sumthing is wrong my mom was on the edge of her bed rocking, holding the alarm clock w/ a wild stare in her eyes - she is thereafter unreasponsive, doesnt eat, nor drink, hardly move for 3 days.. not to long after that she is back in the hospital for the 3rd attempt of suiside pills again they keep her a month... and poof she is magically better yeah rite.. NEVER had we had a good relationship - she is 42 yrs old and on disability, she gets assistance w/ her rent, food stamps, and help w/ her phone and power bill.. she is a drain on the economy and yet w/ disability (for migrain headaches) yeah i know.. lol and childsupport from 2 MEN... (my daddy didnt pay for YEARS lol soo he is still paying back support and im 24 yrs old lol) she cant manage to pay anythign for herself she still mootches of my gmaw .. who would gladly give up her life if it ment for my mom to have one single minute of happiness...

    anywho- in march rite b4 i started phen my mom was found in her apt by my brother who had to climb thru the window.. unresponsive in the floor w/ her head on the coffee table..she is rushed to ER (1st thought comes to everyones mind.. ooo she tried it again) but this time my mom lays in hospital for 8 days w/o moving ANY she would just stare... and then started making weird movements w/ her mouth.. it looked as if she had had a stroke her feet were pointed and her hands were drawn and all she could do was cry... for the first time in my life i cared about my mom when she came to.. since not having her antipsychotics she was extremely irritable.. she thought the next floor up in hospital was comming down on her bc someone was up there moving things around, the walls were tryin to suffocate her, she wanted back in her "other" room.. when she had been in same room since moved from ER she lashed out at everyone tellin hospital she was going to sue them bc they had abused her.. (needle marks, drawing blood, blood pressure cuff marks, she had pulled out her iv 3 times the nite b4, etc) when meds got into her she was alot better but still delusional... mom and dad have been divorced since i was 2 yrs old soo like 22yrs she told my dad that she wanted to have another baby w/ him... this was very odd to everyone *(think about my poor soon to be step mom lol) who my mom asked for permission from her to have another baby w/ my daddy wtcrap i know!.. .but yall dont know that my mom had a hysterectomy like 15 -16 yrs before lol.... she didnt remember (she had uterine cancer and had to have it) she stayed all together 3 wks in hosptial got out on easter sunday and was back to her normal bi*chy self and sooo i lost my respect once again for her


    this is getting forever long soo lemme bring ya up ...

    sooo i told ya my mom depends on my gmaw to pay her bills.. gmaw just recently diagnosed w/ alzheimers is 82yrs old aint gettin around so good.. and lord forbid my mom has to do anything for her.. (they live n same apt complexe like a floor up from each other) mom was doin her pills, making breakfest,lunch, and dinner, and doing dr. appts ... well thats what she should do.. in all this time my mom is driving around in gmaws car (that gmaw pays for) using gmaws insurance (gmaw pays for) a bedroom suit that gmaw pays for (gmaw had to get hospital bed) soo over 600.00 worth of stuff that my mom is using and thinks she deserves it.. when in reality if mom would have been like no.. just let the stuff goo my gmaw would have 600 plus a month to pay someone to come and stay w/ her a few hrs of the day

    okay soo on june 15.. my mom calls me cussin and raisin cane about bs.. and i dont take that crap... soo i go to my gmaws house (i have my kids w/ me) and leave them there i walk upstair knock/bang on door.. and mom tells me to go the F**K away and i told her i wasnt leaving until she opened the door and if not everyone could hear what a B***H she was ... soo she opens door we argue... yell.. i mean SCREAM at each other and the whole time she is callin me a liar, and a munipulator.. okay.. this i cannot stand i lie to NO ONE.. im sorry if you dont like the truth but i haveNO REASON to lie.. why would i.. im a grown woman the only person i have to answer to is God.. no one else and no one is held responsible for my mistakes but me sooo why should anyone care what i do or say?!? anyways we get in shouting match and im inside apt w/ door open and she tells me she is done w/ gmaw and she wasnt doing anything for her .. she could die for all she cared cuz me and gmaw are excatly the same liars, manipulators... etc... i was furious at this point and screaming im not a F**Kin liar blah blah blah... i told her that if she didnt want anything to do w/ gmaw then she sure wasnt gonna ride around in her car and for her to gimme tha keys and she told me hell no ... i told her id get them myself... and when i steped toward her.. she pushed me!!! when she pushed my first reaction was to push back... and then she started swinging at me..she hit me in the face (left side) then i put my arms up.. her rings cut my arms and during all this im tryin to make it out the apt in the hall.. soo im tryin to get by.. while still gettin punched i know @ least 10x or more and i had to get her outta my way.. she says i hit her i dont remember that part i was focused on gettin out...

    the neighbor came out told me he was callin the police...i old him to mind his own business (i was 2 feet from him) and he steps at me w/ his hand drawn back like he was going to hit me... i told him (by this time i was 2 inches from his face) i told him hit me.. please hit me.. cuz i swear to the lord if you do my husband will come down on you like ton of bricks, and then youll have my daddy to deal w/ too!.. he kept sayin im callin police.. blah blah.... i said thats good news go ahead and call them it saves me a trip to magistrate.. .. then i was like u calllin cops on me when she was hittin me?!?! whatever...

    soo i know this is long.. but the minute she hit me is the minute she died...

    and ppl are tellin me (family) ooo she is your mother.. i know yall mad but itll blow over... HELLLLLLLLLL no.... i dont give a rats badonkey! i could care less if i ever seen her again .. she is not 2 ever be around my kids or me ever again!

    i went straight to magistrate.. took out a warrent for simple assault.. court date july 25.. o boy! she was arrested next morning

    she has talked to gmaw since then tellin her .. that she hated me (this was earlier today) and that i broke 3 ribs (of hers) whatever.. drama queen! and then gmaw calls back while i was @ gym tonite saying... mom called her crying saying she loves her children and wants to be apart of their lives and yada yada yada boo freakin hoo .. who flippin cares!

    and lemme tell yall the ONLY reason i didnt lay her bootay out is bc i knew if i were to hit her then she wouldve took papers out on me and therefore would result n me NEVER becoming a nurse.. and ive worked to hard to let some de da dee stop me from being who i wanna be! the only time i touched her was to get past her tryin to get outta tha apt!



    anyways... sooo i know yall prob dont care but i wanted to share.. i needed to tell someone (unfamily) lol

    and again sorry this is soooo long but hey its tha story of my life.. and im not sad.. hurt or angry... im just me i feel no different other than knowing i have to go to cour t which i hate! lol


    okay sorry! needed to vent
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