I'm hurt
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Thread: I'm hurt

  1. #15
    Silver Phenster Sweet_Girl's Avatar
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    I so understand what your going through. Just recently my dad had a talk with me about my weight, he said I should lose it because of health reasons and because I am young and should "not let myself go" he even offered to work out with me. I am the kind of person who likes to exercise alone, so I have. I was so excited to tell him hey dad I lost 6 pounds, he was like "oh yah", next i was like "hey dad i lost a total of 13 pounds" same response "oh yah?" I wish he would say something nice, I mean HELLO he didnt mind saying the MEAN stuff not to long ago.
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  3. #14
    Gold Phenster thin4good's Avatar
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    LOL, I thought same thing as Goth... You had a husband and boyfriend . I was thinking "go you and your polyamorous self!" Heheh, as for them not mentioning.

    Here's a thought. I've been there before w/ people not mentioning weight loss the last time I lost. My best friend told me she resented the weight loss, not because she didn't want me thin, she did, and she encouraged me. However, she said I went from being this well rounded person to being this person who could only talk about what I'd eaten, how much I'd lost, who had noticed, etc. She missed being able to discuss things other than my weight loss w/ me.

    My Boyfriend told me kind of the same thing last week. He's been supportive and has commented a few times, but he said, I know this is important to you and I want to encourage you every way I can, but hon it's hard for me to talk about every day with you. So now he tries to bring up other random subjects, which is the hin that I'm hyper fixating on my weight loss.

    Just a thought. Hope it helps!
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  4. #13
    Silver Phenster fatbabygirl28's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by twims View Post
    I can definately see the insecurity thing from my hubby. He needs to lose weight too, so maybe it upsets him that I am and he's not. Still, I would do everything I could to pump him up if he were tackling a problem, regardless of my feelings about myself. As for my bf...I'm just not sure. We've been friends since grade school. She's always been a little heavy and up until the past few years, I've been pretty thin. I think maybe she likes being the "thin" friend now. But dang, friends aren't supposed to feel that way or act that way. I never resented her for losing weight. I was ecstatic for her!

    Oh well - nothing I can do about their feelings (whatever they may be) or their actions, I guess. It would just be easier if I felt like I had their support...
    Even if you don't have their support, you have ours. Every ounce of it. 30 lbs is amazing amt to have lost already. Be proud of yourself. I agree with Barefeetinwetgrass, get some sexy clothes or a new sexy nighty and MAKE him notice. Or you could be more blunt and flat out tell him to start noticing or start cooking for his dang self and doing his own dirty laundry! ha ha!
    Get thin and God Bless! Gina


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  5. #12
    Bronze Phenster Summer Leigh's Avatar
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    I agree with the others. Some people just are not compliment givers. My husband never gives me ANY compliments. When I ask him how I look he usually just replies with "nice" or "good". Sometimes it bothers me, but hes always been like that so I just have to get over it. Another reason for them not saying anything is maybe they are not noticing as much because they see you everyday. When you don't see someone as often you notice more differences about them, I think.
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  6. #11
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    I can definately see the insecurity thing from my hubby. He needs to lose weight too, so maybe it upsets him that I am and he's not. Still, I would do everything I could to pump him up if he were tackling a problem, regardless of my feelings about myself. As for my bf...I'm just not sure. We've been friends since grade school. She's always been a little heavy and up until the past few years, I've been pretty thin. I think maybe she likes being the "thin" friend now. But dang, friends aren't supposed to feel that way or act that way. I never resented her for losing weight. I was ecstatic for her!

    Oh well - nothing I can do about their feelings (whatever they may be) or their actions, I guess. It would just be easier if I felt like I had their support...

  7. #10
    Diamond Phenster benson012094's Avatar
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    I think it's just that when we are losing weight we want everyone to jump up and say, "Hey, you look great." And when the people closest to us don't, it hurts the most. I don't give my husband a chance to because I'm the one always bringing attention to it. Don't feel bad. I'm sure he notices. Our husbands, especially, I think just get sick of hearing about it. Plus, I know my husband doesn't see me as fat and doesn't understand why I am even worrying about it. It could be that too with you.
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  8. #9
    Diamond Phenster gothprincess's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by twims View Post
    Yeah...hubby and a boyfriend! What an accomplishment that would be

    Thanks everyone...I know I should just ignore it and continue on my way. It just makes me sad
    It happens.. I'm not admitting anything and will deny everything.

    Does your hubby usually give you compliments? If he doesn't, then that's just the way he is. Mine is always complimenting me about anything but I don't take them very well(that's just how I am).

  9. #8
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    I absolutely agree with phenguy. Insecurities. I was with an insecure guy for 2.5 years. not married, but we had a daughter together. He was an alcoholic. I was severely depressed. the one time I tried to talk to him about it, he told me that the doctors were just pill pushers. I listened, but just so he would shut up. Then I made an appointment with my doctor. and Burst into tears the second he asked me how i was doing. Good thing. Seeing him and being put on antidepressants woke me up enough for me to leave the butt head and become a much happier/better person and mother, and to take care of myself and my diabetes. Don't let his insecurities get you down. If he refuses to acknowledge your weight loss, get some sexy clothes. put them on before you go out with your friend. Maybe then he'll notice. and maybe your friend will too. Your friend may be having an issue, because it seems like its been easier for you than it was for her. but she should know first hand that regardless of how you lose it, it really isn't ever easy. I know its a struggle every day.

  10. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by gothprincess View Post
    First off, I was going to congratulate you for having a hubby and a "boy friend"... until I read the whole thing. I'd be ticked too if my hubby didn't notice so you have every right to be upset at both of them. Way to go on your weight loss...25lbs in 6 weeks is amazing!!
    Yeah...hubby and a boyfriend! What an accomplishment that would be

    Thanks everyone...I know I should just ignore it and continue on my way. It just makes me sad

  11. #6
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    twims ... so sorry. You're right, it's hurtful not to be acknowledged by the people closest to you - when you've made such a big sucess.

    They may or may not jump on your cheerleading team .... but please don't get discouraged - you are making great forward progress. Keep on keeping on.

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  12. #5
    Diamond Phenster gothprincess's Avatar
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    First off, I was going to congratulate you for having a hubby and a "boy friend"... until I read the whole thing. I'd be ticked too if my hubby didn't notice so you have every right to be upset at both of them. Way to go on your weight loss...25lbs in 6 weeks is amazing!!

  13. #4
    Gold Phenster Momto8's Avatar
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    Agreed it hurts...I didn't photoshop, Insearchof, rotflol...

    Seriously, My hubby never comments..........every about the loss.nor do the people around me except one lady at church that can not bear that i am losing lol.........But you are doing this for you........be proud of yourself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If no one ever comments........you know......They are probibly jealous and don't wan to encourage you....Some friends are just that way...............
    ]before 220-225
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  14. #3
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    Maybe he's insecure about your weight loss,my wife treats me the same way,she thinks when I lose all my weight I will start looking for another woman,I think some people are just insecure with the change.

  15. #2
    Silver Phenster domsmom's Avatar
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    im so sorry, i know it feels so good to hear the people you love tell you how great youre doing, and thats too bad that they havent said much, if anything. all i can say is put up some pics and well all tell you how fine we think you are, lol... but 30 pounds is an excellent accomplishment and you should be very proud, keep up the great work!

  16. #1
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    Unhappy I'm hurt

    I’m upset with my hubby and my bf I’ve lost 25 lbs in 6 weeks. I know you can tell a difference. I’m down almost 2 pant sizes, how could someone not see the difference? Just today, I’ve had 3 co-workers mention it to me. But neither dh nor my bf have said anything at all about it. Last night, dh’s best friend was over and he commented on it several times. Dh piped up and said “Yeah, I was just telling her the other day that I’m really proud of her…” Yeah, whatever. Not one word has left his mouth about it to me in 6 whole weeks! Unless of course you count the times I’ve said “Look at this!” as I’ve pulled my now baggy pants away from my tummy to show him how much I’ve lost. To which he responded with a less than interested “Ummm….yeah.” That’s a real compliment if I ever heard one, dontcha think Then, there’s my bf. This past fall, she started on her own weight loss journey. She’s finally at her goal weight, but it was a long process for her. I knew how hard she was trying, so I commented all the time on how much thinner she looked, how great her clothes looked on her, etc. I see her every.single.day. Seriously, not one word has been uttered about my loss.

    Maybe I’m being vain. Maybe it’s wrong to want to be told you look better or be complimented on your achievements by those you’re closest to. Right or wrong though, it hurts

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