Was it the Alli or the chili? LOL This one is funny too!
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  1. #8
    Diamond Phenster libby0920's Avatar
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    hahaha you soooooooooooo just made my night i really needed this. EXCELLENT STORY!


    2/10/08 - 3/08/08** -19 (Month 1 on Phen)
    3/15/08 - 4/05/08** -31 (Month 2 on Phen)
    4/12/08 - 5/03/08** -35 (Month 3 on Phen)
    5/10/08 - 5/31/08** -45 (Month 4 on Phen)
    6/07/08 - 6/28/08** -49 (Month 5 NO Phen)
    7/12/08- 7/26/08 ** -58 (Month 6 on Phen)


    month 5 results
    1st mini goal=215 met
    2nd mini goal=200 met
    3rd mini goal=185 met
    4th mini goal= 170

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  3. #7
    Silver Phenster wildcat1842's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by YANIE View Post
    You were so detailed...It was like I was there!!!!!! Are you a writer? If not you should be!!! Good story!
    I totally agree! You are an amazing writer! Funny story too!

  4. #6
    Gold Phenster YANIE's Avatar
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    You were so detailed...It was like I was there!!!!!! Are you a writer? If not you should be!!! Good story!
    SW-268 (5-16-08)
    (5-26) 263
    (8-11) 234

    1st MINI GOAL=========>230



  5. #5
    Gold Phenster graphicMOM's Avatar
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    This is like the funniest story EVER!!
    SW: 307 LBS 9/16/10.
    In 2008 I lost 91 pounds, but I've gained it all back... so here I am, at square one, but not for long.




  6. #4
    Gold Phenster lovemyboys's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by scottiesmac View Post
    'I went grocery shopping recently while not being altogether sure that
    course of action was a wise one. You see, the previous evening I had
    prepared and consumed a massive quantity of my patented 'You're
    definitely going to sh@t yourself' chili. Tasty stuff, albeit hot to
    the point of being painful, which comes with a written guarantee from
    me that if you eat the next day both of your butt cheeks WILL fall
    off.

    Here's the thing. I had awakened that morning, and even after two cups
    of coffee (and all of you know what I mean) nothing happened. No
    'Watson's Movement #2'. Despite habanera peppers swimming their way
    through my colon, I appeared to be unable to create the usual morning
    symphony referred to by my nextdoor neighbors as thunder and
    lightning.

    Knowing that a time of reckoning was to come, yet just not sure when,
    I bravely set off for the market; a local Wal-Mart grocery store that
    I often haunt in search of tasty tidbits.

    Upon entering the store at first all seemed normal. I selected a cart
    and began pushing it about dropping items in for purchase. It wasn't
    until I was at the opposite end of the store from the restrooms that
    the pain hit me. Oh, don't look at me like you don't know what I'm
    talking about. I'm referring to that 'Uh oh, gotta go' pain that
    always seems to hit us at the wrong time. The thing is, this pain was
    different.

    The habaneras in the chili from the night before were staging a
    revolt. In a mad rush for freedom they bullied their way through the
    small intestines, forcing their way into the large intestines, and
    before I could take one step in the direction of the restrooms which
    would bring sweet relief, it happened. The peppers fired a warning
    shot.

    There I stood, alone in the spice and baking aisle, suddenly enveloped
    in a noxious cloud the likes of which has never before been recorded.
    I was afraid to move for fear that more of this vile odor might escape
    me. Slowly, oh so slowly, the pressure seemed to leave the lower part
    of my body, and I began to move up the aisle and out of it, just as an
    elderly woman turned into it.

    I don't know what made me do it, but I stopped to see what her
    reaction would be to the malodorous effluvium that refused to
    dissipate, as she walked into it unsuspecting. Have you ever been torn
    in two different directions emotionally? Here's what I mean, and I'm
    sure some of you at least will be able to relate.

    I could've warned that poor woman but didn't. I simply watched as she
    walked into an invisible, and apparently indestructible, wall of odor
    so terrible that all she could do before gathering her senses and
    running, was to stand there blinking and waving her arms about her
    head as though trying to ward off angry bees. This, of course, made me
    feel terrible, but then made me laugh. Mistake.

    Here's the thing. When you laugh, it's hard to keep things 'clamped
    down', if you know what I mean. With each new guffaw an explosive
    issue burst forth from my nether region. Some were so loud and echoing
    that I was later told a few folks in other aisles had ducked, fearing
    that someone was robbing the store and firing off a shotgun.

    Suddenly things were no longer funny. IT was coming, and I raced off
    through the store towards the restrooms, laying down a cloud the whole
    way, praying that I'd make it before the grand mal assplosion took
    place.

    Luck was on my side. Just in the nick of time I got to the john, began
    the inevitable 'Oh my God', floating above the toilet seat because my
    *** is burning SO BAD, purging. One poor fellow walked in while I was
    in the middle of what is the true meaning of 'Shock and Awe'. He made
    a gagging sound, and disgustedly said, 'Sonofa*****!', then quickly
    left.

    Once finished I left the restroom, reacquired my partially filled cart
    intending to carry on with my shopping when a store employee
    approached me and said, 'Sir, you might want to step outside for a few
    minutes. It appears some prankster set off a stink bomb in the store.
    The manager is going to run the vent fans on high for a minute or two
    which ought to take care of the problem.'

    That of course set me off again, causing residual gases to escape me.
    The employee took one sniff, jumped back pulling his shirt up to cover
    his nose and, pointing at me in an accusing manner shouted, 'IT'S
    YOU!', then ran off returning moments later with the manager. I was
    unceremoniously escorted from the premises and asked none too kindly
    not to return.

    Home again without having ******d, I realized that there was nothing
    to eat but leftover chili, so I consumed two more bowls. The next day
    I went to shop at Albertson's. I can't say anymore about that because
    we are in court over the whole matter. They claim they're going to
    have to repaint the store...
    OMG I am cryin right now....Shock and awe....to funny!!!!

  7. #3
    Gold Phenster LoSingWeightin08's Avatar
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    Maryland
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    i took my alli when i went out to a mexican restaurant a couple weeks ago..afterwords we went to jc penney's and OMG i thought my stomach was gonna burst ! Luckily the bathroom didnt have anyone in there..and afterwards i sprayed my sweet pea spray from bath & body works lol
    The proof is in the pics!!! <3





    Starting over again!!!!

  8. #2
    Diamond Phenster Cmarie123's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Alabama
    Posts
    2,280

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    LMAO! I took Alli back when it was Xenical and it had terrible side effects! I can't even imagine mixing that with chili! OMG!
    3/10/08 - 12/01/08 (-55 lbs)
    1/05/09 169

    4th and FINAL GOAL (160 by 3/2/09)







  9. #1
    Silver Phenster
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    South Carolina
    Posts
    122

    Default Was it the Alli or the chili? LOL This one is funny too!

    'I went grocery shopping recently while not being altogether sure that
    course of action was a wise one. You see, the previous evening I had
    prepared and consumed a massive quantity of my patented 'You're
    definitely going to sh@t yourself' chili. Tasty stuff, albeit hot to
    the point of being painful, which comes with a written guarantee from
    me that if you eat the next day both of your butt cheeks WILL fall
    off.

    Here's the thing. I had awakened that morning, and even after two cups
    of coffee (and all of you know what I mean) nothing happened. No
    'Watson's Movement #2'. Despite habanera peppers swimming their way
    through my colon, I appeared to be unable to create the usual morning
    symphony referred to by my nextdoor neighbors as thunder and
    lightning.

    Knowing that a time of reckoning was to come, yet just not sure when,
    I bravely set off for the market; a local Wal-Mart grocery store that
    I often haunt in search of tasty tidbits.

    Upon entering the store at first all seemed normal. I selected a cart
    and began pushing it about dropping items in for purchase. It wasn't
    until I was at the opposite end of the store from the restrooms that
    the pain hit me. Oh, don't look at me like you don't know what I'm
    talking about. I'm referring to that 'Uh oh, gotta go' pain that
    always seems to hit us at the wrong time. The thing is, this pain was
    different.

    The habaneras in the chili from the night before were staging a
    revolt. In a mad rush for freedom they bullied their way through the
    small intestines, forcing their way into the large intestines, and
    before I could take one step in the direction of the restrooms which
    would bring sweet relief, it happened. The peppers fired a warning
    shot.

    There I stood, alone in the spice and baking aisle, suddenly enveloped
    in a noxious cloud the likes of which has never before been recorded.
    I was afraid to move for fear that more of this vile odor might escape
    me. Slowly, oh so slowly, the pressure seemed to leave the lower part
    of my body, and I began to move up the aisle and out of it, just as an
    elderly woman turned into it.

    I don't know what made me do it, but I stopped to see what her
    reaction would be to the malodorous effluvium that refused to
    dissipate, as she walked into it unsuspecting. Have you ever been torn
    in two different directions emotionally? Here's what I mean, and I'm
    sure some of you at least will be able to relate.

    I could've warned that poor woman but didn't. I simply watched as she
    walked into an invisible, and apparently indestructible, wall of odor
    so terrible that all she could do before gathering her senses and
    running, was to stand there blinking and waving her arms about her
    head as though trying to ward off angry bees. This, of course, made me
    feel terrible, but then made me laugh. Mistake.

    Here's the thing. When you laugh, it's hard to keep things 'clamped
    down', if you know what I mean. With each new guffaw an explosive
    issue burst forth from my nether region. Some were so loud and echoing
    that I was later told a few folks in other aisles had ducked, fearing
    that someone was robbing the store and firing off a shotgun.

    Suddenly things were no longer funny. IT was coming, and I raced off
    through the store towards the restrooms, laying down a cloud the whole
    way, praying that I'd make it before the grand mal assplosion took
    place.

    Luck was on my side. Just in the nick of time I got to the john, began
    the inevitable 'Oh my God', floating above the toilet seat because my
    *** is burning SO BAD, purging. One poor fellow walked in while I was
    in the middle of what is the true meaning of 'Shock and Awe'. He made
    a gagging sound, and disgustedly said, 'Sonofa*****!', then quickly
    left.

    Once finished I left the restroom, reacquired my partially filled cart
    intending to carry on with my shopping when a store employee
    approached me and said, 'Sir, you might want to step outside for a few
    minutes. It appears some prankster set off a stink bomb in the store.
    The manager is going to run the vent fans on high for a minute or two
    which ought to take care of the problem.'

    That of course set me off again, causing residual gases to escape me.
    The employee took one sniff, jumped back pulling his shirt up to cover
    his nose and, pointing at me in an accusing manner shouted, 'IT'S
    YOU!', then ran off returning moments later with the manager. I was
    unceremoniously escorted from the premises and asked none too kindly
    not to return.

    Home again without having ******d, I realized that there was nothing
    to eat but leftover chili, so I consumed two more bowls. The next day
    I went to shop at Albertson's. I can't say anymore about that because
    we are in court over the whole matter. They claim they're going to
    have to repaint the store...
    Scottie

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