[JackinDe]

This is just too nice not to share with everyone, I hope you all enjoy it as much as I did. It brought back many memories for me.


25 things I learned from Mom

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you
into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
'If you fall out of that swing and break your neck,
you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
'You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through
it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times.
Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you
out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this
world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, They are going
to freeze that way."
OR "If you keep sitting on your foot, one day your
going to get up and it will be stuck there."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you
are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come
running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born
in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: my mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out
just like you!"

Jack

[jaspernotting]

Geeee... quite a number of them are so familiar... The last one came true for me!

[JackinDe]

Jaspernotting:

Oh good, I think that would be a nice thing, I suppose. Do you think?


Jack

[jaspernotting]

What the last one? OMG I refuse to eat almost everything on the dinning table and now ... you could imagine... Luckily that lasted only a couple of years!!

Thanks JackinDe for sharing, it's so funny!!

[JackinDe]

Jaspernotting:

Good for you girl. I made the mistake of doing what she told me and ate everything on the kitchen table including the fork & the pepper shaker, which may account for why I sneeze every so often & get a sharp pain in my side. LOL. I thought it was funny too.
Take care.


Jack

[2teensNabean]

I love it Jack, thanks for sharing that. I think I will copy and paste that to my mom. She will get a good laugh at that.

[JackinDe]

Michelle:

Your welcome, I hope she enjoys the humor. I'm sure it will bring a smile or two when she reads it. Have a good day.


Jack