First, it is my health. I take many high blood pressure medications and cholesterol medications. I have been taking a water pill for about a year to help with my blood pressure. Now I have started to retain water in my feet, so doc ordered up another water pill. I'm only 23 and my dad had a heart attack last year at 42. He now has 2 stints in his heart. My grandmother has many heart problems, and has 6 or 8 stints in her heart. Also, diabetes runs big in my family. My mom also has high blood pressure.
Basically, i'm tired of taking so many pills, and I want to be able to walk up a flight of stairs without feeling like I'm going to die.
Secondly, when I go out, I want guys to hit on me, even if I have a boyfriend. I want to feel attractive again, instead of a tub of lard.
Thirdly, I want to stop getting teased by my family. My brother always calls me fat, and my dad gets onto me for eating so much, it makes me feel like an idiot.
Fourthly, I want to buy some cute FREAKING clothes. I hate having to go to "special" stores to find my size. I want to wear something cute, and look good in it!
Last week I was at Ross, looking through the plus size section. Two skinny teenage girls came over there, not knowing it was plus size. They picked up a pair of pants and started laughing. They were speaking in spanish, but I understood what they were saying because I've taken many spanish classes. I was so embarassed, yet angry. I looked at them, and I could feel myself burning with hatred. I was burning for hatred toward myself, because I let myself get this way. After that experience, I was so embarassed, I left the store.
That's about all. It felt really good to type all of this up!
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