101st floor - 2 WTC - Page 2 - Phentermine.com

debalexis · November 30th, 2002, 04:17 PM

Stacy

I know of two people who would be here for you but at this time are not able. I do hope that you're doing ok. I wish I had the same words of encouragement as some have had for you because of their own experiences. I was only one of those onlookers who were in denial because I did not witness to any of it first hand as yourself and others who have replied here.

I don't know if I could have been as strong as you with what was put in front of me. I am very proud of you and how you have taken each day to heal within. I wish to someday be as strong as you!

Deb

Selliee · November 30th, 2002, 04:48 PM

Oh I hope your friend is okay, do you think you will visit him? The poor guy. I'm glad your okay.

stacygirlvo · December 1st, 2002, 03:54 AM

hey guys thanks. yeah...man, i guess he wasn't dealing with it as well as he let on - i don't know. he did lose like 45 people that worked with him and many of them he had known for over 10 years. so i can imagine that puts a more intense perspective on it.

but then that really scares me - what if i'm NOT really dealing with it well? what if i just snap one day? i don't feel like i will, but i guess you never know do you?

i don't know if i will go visit. it sounds selfish, but i really hate hospitals and the like...i have a tendency to pass out (if you can believe that!). so it's really for my own safety!

well...thanks for listening.

Selliee · December 1st, 2002, 01:11 PM

Yes, that is a pretty scary thought. All I can say is I guess you will just have to make sure you don't deny any feelings you might have down the line. I have a feeling your gonna be cool!

Selliee · December 1st, 2002, 01:12 PM

Yes, that is a pretty scary thought. All I can say is I guess you will just have to make sure you don't deny any feelings you might have down the line. I have a feeling your gonna be cool!

stacygirlvo · December 2nd, 2002, 04:23 AM

thanks sellie...i'm starting to feel like a crybaby on this post...but i guess i don't care - anybody who'll listen! and it really is connected to my eating & weight gain in the last year & handful of months....so it's relevent.

as i've said i did go to therapy provided by AON (i was one of the v. few - that's why i ended up not staying with them - they were all crazy! did i mention the boss of the team - who wasn't even there that day made them all work on the 13th!!!) when i returned to nyc for the month of november (boy was the voiceover world SLOW then! yikes)
..then i had my own therapist for a time. but then got really sick of talking about only 9/11.

my mom is a a social worker/RN (she's worked in a psych ward-so was aware of the stages of PTSD) and we have really worked on a lot of the issues i was having - the boyfriend has been helpful - but he's had his problems as his father died unexpectedly 5 days before 9/11 - it's amazing we are still together! guess that's a major indication we should tie-the-knot huh!?

anyway - i guess what i'm saying is i feel like i have people looking out for me...but so did the survivor friend...it just freaks me out i guess.

RunRunRun · December 5th, 2002, 01:21 PM

Hi Stacy,
I know it's been a few days since anyone replied but I haven't been at the forum for awhile and when i saw your posts, i wanted to let you know how happy i am that you made it out!!!
Like a lot of others who posted, we lost a firefighter (my sister's brother-in-law). It was so horrible. He was supposed to get married the first saturday in november. His fiance's bridal shower was supposed to be Sept. 15. What broke my heart was that for almost a month they were all talking like he was coming back. they were telling my mom 'When Michael gets back we're kicking his A S S!!!' I guess if it was my brother, son .. I would have done the same, but watching those news stories over and over, we all knew it didn't look good. They finally found his body in March along with a bunch of firefighters. His father, a retired port authority worker, was at the site EVERY DAY until he was found. His family put together this heartbreaking website on 9/13. when I posted a reply about how close and fun his family is ( my sister's wedding was a blast), and I mentioned how they were all singing Irish songs into the middle of the night, the next day, his brother Patrick, added "Danny Boy" playing to the background of the website!!! Now I'm babbling on!!!
Thank God you DID make it out. And you can't feel guilty. There's no rhyme or reason to any of it. You just have to rely on your faith to get you through.

stacygirlvo · December 6th, 2002, 05:31 AM

Thank you Run.

your story broke my heart. i can't even imagine having your life planned out like that - finding "the one" and then to lose that...i am sorry for your family's loss.

i take a moment every time i pass a firehouse or police station...i remember the firefighter i saw run past me up the stairwell everyday. i like to think he made it out.

it is all random. as the lyrics of a favorite song goes: I could go anytime.
there's nothing safe about this life

thanks.

Daniegurl · December 6th, 2002, 11:25 AM

Stacy,

I never saw that picture of your pass to the tower...I got the chills, and wanted to cry (half out of sadness because you had to go through that, and half out of happiness that you are still here). Just know that you have some unfinished business on earth, and that is why you are here! And I just wanted you to know that if you ever ever need to talk, I am here girly! There are people out here who care and will be there for you when you don't feel too good

-Danie

P.S. Don't even worry about "losing it." I have faith you are a strong person and will be able to deal with all the yukky stuff that comes your way!

hehehe isn't he cute?

QueenDivaBaby · December 6th, 2002, 05:27 PM

THANK GOD YOU'RE OK, I WOULD BE GIVING HIM PRAISE TO THE UTTERMOST!!!

stacygirlvo · December 7th, 2002, 03:37 PM

indeed i do! i always said me & god are tight because i was born on christmas day...but i didn't realize HOW tight!

no really that was another whole struggle i went through....people kept saying god or angels were really looking out for you that morning and i would just think...me more than any one of the people who didn't make it out? more than the 5 people i worked with who each had children? didn't make sense.

anyway!

thanks for the hug danie! right back attcha!

TameraZ · December 8th, 2002, 03:47 AM

Wow Stacy - I've never been in this thread before and now I've been sitting here bawling as I read it. I think you are so amazing anyway, but I didn't know that there were these issues for you to live with.

I can tell you my experience of 9/11. Because of the time difference, I was still asleep. My baby was still little and I'd be up several times a night to nurse him. I remember my husband running into our bedroom and saying something about planes - World Trade Center. As I was waking up I said "Was anyone hurt?" because I was thinking it was still the middle of the night. He turned on the tv in our room and we sat there crying for the next two hours. It was too much to absorb. My sister had just moved from New York City to take a job in California but I knew she had a lot of friends who worked in the WTC.

The weirdest part of the day was still getting my daughter ready for kindergarten and dropping her off as usual - like our whole world hadn't just been shaken to the core.

I can totally understand your "why me" feelings as you attempt to move forward. I struggled with infertility and ended up having 3 beautiful kids, yet I always feel guilty when I see my sister or other women who deal with it and haven't been as fortunate as I was. When I talked to a church counselor about it - about why god would bless me when there are so many other deserving people out there, the most comforting answer was that God doesn't necessarily dictate the good and bad that happens to us in this life, but he gives us the strength and courage to cope with the hand that we are dealt.

September 11 stands as an example of how cruel humanity can be, yet is also serves as a reminder to appreciate each day that we are blessed with. You have already touched so many lives here on this forum - you inspire people that you will never know of. I hope you can find a certain peace as you work your way through each day. I have heard miraculous stories and heartwrenching stories about that day. I read the book "Love, Greg and Lauren" about Lauren Mannings ordeal. It still isn't fathomable. I don't think you need to feel strange at all about identifying yourself as a WTC survivor because it's now a part of who you are and I'm sure it affects how you act and feel more than you even realize. Take care of yourself and live a good life - that is the greatest gift you can give to the memory of those who didn't walk out of the building with you.

Keep listening to those gut instincts and trust in yourself. I'm glad you are here with us.

stacygirlvo · December 8th, 2002, 07:49 AM

thank you so much tamera...i was v. moved by your words.

health4life · December 8th, 2002, 09:06 AM

I dont know how on earth I missed this post.
I could only imagine how it must have been and please dont forget that things happen for a reason. It wasnt your time to go and let that be the reason. I'm so glad that u are ok. Take Care

December 5th, 2002, 01:21 PM	#42 (permalink)
RunRunRun Bronze Phenster Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Northeast Posts: 47 Lost Weight: 7 Current Weight: 147 Goal Weight: 130	Hi Stacy, I know it's been a few days since anyone replied but I haven't been at the forum for awhile and when i saw your posts, i wanted to let you know how happy i am that you made it out!!! Like a lot of others who posted, we lost a firefighter (my sister's brother-in-law). It was so horrible. He was supposed to get married the first saturday in november. His fiance's bridal shower was supposed to be Sept. 15. What broke my heart was that for almost a month they were all talking like he was coming back. they were telling my mom 'When Michael gets back we're kicking his A S S!!!' I guess if it was my brother, son .. I would have done the same, but watching those news stories over and over, we all knew it didn't look good. They finally found his body in March along with a bunch of firefighters. His father, a retired port authority worker, was at the site EVERY DAY until he was found. His family put together this heartbreaking website on 9/13. when I posted a reply about how close and fun his family is ( my sister's wedding was a blast), and I mentioned how they were all singing Irish songs into the middle of the night, the next day, his brother Patrick, added "Danny Boy" playing to the background of the website!!! Now I'm babbling on!!! Thank God you DID make it out. And you can't feel guilty. There's no rhyme or reason to any of it. You just have to rely on your faith to get you through. SW: 155lb CW: 147lb GW: 130lb

December 6th, 2002, 11:25 AM	#44 (permalink)
Daniegurl Silver Phenster Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Chicago Posts: 151 Lost Weight: 39-started 10/15/02 Current Weight: 170 Goal Weight: 130-ish	Stacy, I never saw that picture of your pass to the tower...I got the chills, and wanted to cry (half out of sadness because you had to go through that, and half out of happiness that you are still here). Just know that you have some unfinished business on earth, and that is why you are here! And I just wanted you to know that if you ever ever need to talk, I am here girly! There are people out here who care and will be there for you when you don't feel too good -Danie P.S. Don't even worry about "losing it." I have faith you are a strong person and will be able to deal with all the yukky stuff that comes your way! hehehe isn't he cute? We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit. -Aristotle

December 6th, 2002, 05:27 PM	#45 (permalink)
QueenDivaBaby "I am too blessed to be stressed and too anointed too be disappointed!" Join Date: May 2002 Location: FLA Posts: 2,942 Lost Weight: 68PDS Current Weight: 175 Goal Weight: 140	THANK GOD YOU'RE OK, I WOULD BE GIVING HIM PRAISE TO THE UTTERMOST!!! The shortest distance between a problem and a solution is the distance between your knees and the floor.

December 8th, 2002, 03:47 AM	#47 (permalink)
TameraZ Diamond Phenster Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Utah Posts: 2,056 Lost Weight: 52 pounds Current Weight: 162 Goal Weight: 145	Wow Stacy - I've never been in this thread before and now I've been sitting here bawling as I read it. I think you are so amazing anyway, but I didn't know that there were these issues for you to live with. I can tell you my experience of 9/11. Because of the time difference, I was still asleep. My baby was still little and I'd be up several times a night to nurse him. I remember my husband running into our bedroom and saying something about planes - World Trade Center. As I was waking up I said "Was anyone hurt?" because I was thinking it was still the middle of the night. He turned on the tv in our room and we sat there crying for the next two hours. It was too much to absorb. My sister had just moved from New York City to take a job in California but I knew she had a lot of friends who worked in the WTC. The weirdest part of the day was still getting my daughter ready for kindergarten and dropping her off as usual - like our whole world hadn't just been shaken to the core. I can totally understand your "why me" feelings as you attempt to move forward. I struggled with infertility and ended up having 3 beautiful kids, yet I always feel guilty when I see my sister or other women who deal with it and haven't been as fortunate as I was. When I talked to a church counselor about it - about why god would bless me when there are so many other deserving people out there, the most comforting answer was that God doesn't necessarily dictate the good and bad that happens to us in this life, but he gives us the strength and courage to cope with the hand that we are dealt. September 11 stands as an example of how cruel humanity can be, yet is also serves as a reminder to appreciate each day that we are blessed with. You have already touched so many lives here on this forum - you inspire people that you will never know of. I hope you can find a certain peace as you work your way through each day. I have heard miraculous stories and heartwrenching stories about that day. I read the book "Love, Greg and Lauren" about Lauren Mannings ordeal. It still isn't fathomable. I don't think you need to feel strange at all about identifying yourself as a WTC survivor because it's now a part of who you are and I'm sure it affects how you act and feel more than you even realize. Take care of yourself and live a good life - that is the greatest gift you can give to the memory of those who didn't walk out of the building with you. Keep listening to those gut instincts and trust in yourself. I'm glad you are here with us. http://groups.msn.com/TameraZiter/shoebox.msnw before and current pics

November 30th, 2002, 04:17 PM	#36 (permalink)
debalexis crazy Deb :) Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Michigan Posts: 1,038 Lost Weight: 0lbs Goal Weight: 130ish no more than 140	Stacy I know of two people who would be here for you but at this time are not able. I do hope that you're doing ok. I wish I had the same words of encouragement as some have had for you because of their own experiences. I was only one of those onlookers who were in denial because I did not witness to any of it first hand as yourself and others who have replied here. I don't know if I could have been as strong as you with what was put in front of me. I am very proud of you and how you have taken each day to heal within. I wish to someday be as strong as you! Deb

November 30th, 2002, 04:48 PM	#37 (permalink)
Selliee Gold Phenster Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Homebase Posts: 614 Lost Weight: 0lbs Current Weight: size 14 Goal Weight: i\'ll take anything below where i\'m at now.	Oh I hope your friend is okay, do you think you will visit him? The poor guy. I'm glad your okay.

December 1st, 2002, 03:54 AM	#38 (permalink)
stacygirlvo Platinum Phenster Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 1,163 Lost Weight: 0lbs	hey guys thanks. yeah...man, i guess he wasn't dealing with it as well as he let on - i don't know. he did lose like 45 people that worked with him and many of them he had known for over 10 years. so i can imagine that puts a more intense perspective on it. but then that really scares me - what if i'm NOT really dealing with it well? what if i just snap one day? i don't feel like i will, but i guess you never know do you? i don't know if i will go visit. it sounds selfish, but i really hate hospitals and the like...i have a tendency to pass out (if you can believe that!). so it's really for my own safety! well...thanks for listening.

December 1st, 2002, 01:11 PM	#39 (permalink)
Selliee Gold Phenster Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Homebase Posts: 614 Lost Weight: 0lbs Current Weight: size 14 Goal Weight: i\'ll take anything below where i\'m at now.	Yes, that is a pretty scary thought. All I can say is I guess you will just have to make sure you don't deny any feelings you might have down the line. I have a feeling your gonna be cool!

December 1st, 2002, 01:12 PM	#40 (permalink)
Selliee Gold Phenster Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Homebase Posts: 614 Lost Weight: 0lbs Current Weight: size 14 Goal Weight: i\'ll take anything below where i\'m at now.	Yes, that is a pretty scary thought. All I can say is I guess you will just have to make sure you don't deny any feelings you might have down the line. I have a feeling your gonna be cool!

December 2nd, 2002, 04:23 AM	#41 (permalink)
stacygirlvo Platinum Phenster Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 1,163 Lost Weight: 0lbs	thanks sellie...i'm starting to feel like a crybaby on this post...but i guess i don't care - anybody who'll listen! and it really is connected to my eating & weight gain in the last year & handful of months....so it's relevent. as i've said i did go to therapy provided by AON (i was one of the v. few - that's why i ended up not staying with them - they were all crazy! did i mention the boss of the team - who wasn't even there that day made them all work on the 13th!!!) when i returned to nyc for the month of november (boy was the voiceover world SLOW then! yikes) ..then i had my own therapist for a time. but then got really sick of talking about only 9/11. my mom is a a social worker/RN (she's worked in a psych ward-so was aware of the stages of PTSD) and we have really worked on a lot of the issues i was having - the boyfriend has been helpful - but he's had his problems as his father died unexpectedly 5 days before 9/11 - it's amazing we are still together! guess that's a major indication we should tie-the-knot huh!? anyway - i guess what i'm saying is i feel like i have people looking out for me...but so did the survivor friend...it just freaks me out i guess.

December 6th, 2002, 05:31 AM	#43 (permalink)
stacygirlvo Platinum Phenster Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 1,163 Lost Weight: 0lbs	Thank you Run. your story broke my heart. i can't even imagine having your life planned out like that - finding "the one" and then to lose that...i am sorry for your family's loss. i take a moment every time i pass a firehouse or police station...i remember the firefighter i saw run past me up the stairwell everyday. i like to think he made it out. it is all random. as the lyrics of a favorite song goes: I could go anytime. there's nothing safe about this life thanks.

December 7th, 2002, 03:37 PM	#46 (permalink)
stacygirlvo Platinum Phenster Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 1,163 Lost Weight: 0lbs	indeed i do! i always said me & god are tight because i was born on christmas day...but i didn't realize HOW tight! no really that was another whole struggle i went through....people kept saying god or angels were really looking out for you that morning and i would just think...me more than any one of the people who didn't make it out? more than the 5 people i worked with who each had children? didn't make sense. anyway! thanks for the hug danie! right back attcha!

December 8th, 2002, 07:49 AM	#48 (permalink)
stacygirlvo Platinum Phenster Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 1,163 Lost Weight: 0lbs	thank you so much tamera...i was v. moved by your words.

December 8th, 2002, 09:06 AM	#49 (permalink)
health4life I AM WILLING TO DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO LIVE A HEALTHY SLIMMER LIFE Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: florida Posts: 6,748 Lost Weight: 98 lbs Current Weight: 170 lbs Goal Weight: 150	I dont know how on earth I missed this post. I could only imagine how it must have been and please dont forget that things happen for a reason. It wasnt your time to go and let that be the reason. I'm so glad that u are ok. Take Care