[Sandye]

Earlier this summer, I wrote about my son, police brutality, and my deepest fears for him. Today those fears were realized. I was having a great day ... school was terrific, received a package of clothing (size 8s!) that fit, and I was feeling very good. The phone rang "Your son wanted me to call you because he is at the car wash right down the street from his job and he is being arrested." I jumped in my car in time to see the police officers slam my son onto the sidewalk - face first. A crowd had already gathered and one of the car wash workers told me that the police pulled him over, yanked him out of the car, and that he had been slammed on the ground four or five times. I ran to the police car and asked the officers what they were doing to my son. One answered me in the most disrespectful tone I had heard in a long time and said "Lady, your son is going to jail today and if you say another word I will arrest you for obstruction of justice and you will go with him."

I told him that he was just going to have to cuff me then, because someone was going to tell me what was going on with my son. I also told him that he did not start addressing me in a more respectful tone, that I would call my contacts at the police department and we would all going to jail together. Finally, I went nuts - crying, screaming, and warning them not to slam my son on the ground again. The rude one finally told me that my son was pulled over because he was blasting his "ghetto" music in violation of the noise ordinance. He said that my son's car would be impounded and he was going to jail. It was surreal ... as though I had seen this scene in my mind a million times.

The people at the car wash who had seen everything were very kind while I was waiting. They washed my car, gave me a coke, and lots of Kleenex. After what seemed like an eternity, the officer emerged from the car - red faced and angry. He said, and I will never forget the look on his face when he said it "His kind always have outstanding warrants ... I just can't find any, so I guess we have to let him go." They gave him a ticket, impounded his car, calling it a "criminal tool" and gave us a court date. They were not going to allow him to remove his belongings from his car, but they finally did - after I went off again with the growing crowd backing me up.

We removed his things and walked to my car. There were no words to say. I noticed that his cheek was bleeding, but did not say anything. At his apartment, he showed me the scrapes on his arms and chest and told me that his knee was sore. All I could do was tell him how sorry I was. I held him like he was a baby again.

After he took his shower, I came home, made some calls and demanded an investigation. I wish I could post this in the main forum, because I think it is important - but I am not in the mood to be attacked right now.

[Crystal]

Sandye~ Girl.. I am so sorry that you went through this. I know that nothing I say will make you feel any better right now. Just know that I am here for you and my cell phone is always on. I'm just in shock, and I'm angry, and upset ... I just don't know what to say . Once again.. I'm here for you...
Sending love and prayers your way.

[Nitra]

Oh girl Im so sorry. I see more and more of this. What is the deal?? I hear these stories and it makes me sick. Im here for you ok..

[Jipi]

Dear Sandye,

A warm hug to you My thoughts and heart are with you and your son.

Kindest regards

[Keew]

Sandye,
You and your son are in my thoughts as well.

These are the people who are here to serve and protect us. It is a shame that they are also the ones who abuse and degrade us.

(((((HUGS)))))

[triplet]

Sandye,

I really don't know what to say.....so all I will say is I love you.

Trip

[ohiosearcher]

Call me if you need anything. I am going to make a few calls to a few friends down there in the legal profession. I will give you any info I get.

[HOTMAMA]

i wish i could say something to make this all go away but i don't know the words. i'm sitting here not knowing whether to cry or be angry, okay i'm doing both. all i can say is i hope the stupid, ignornant,S.O.B. who did that pays!!!!!!

please know that i am thinking of your son and you.

[Clara]

Sandye, I'm glad you handled it the way you did. You did the right thing and now you need to get all your contacts to look into it. I bet you anything this officer has done this before. If he has or hasn't you need to report it. This whole thing makes me sick.

Sandye, give your son a big hug for me and remember we're here for you. A big "HUG" for you too.

[ September 25, 2002, 06:09 PM: Message edited by: Clara ]

[PrincessGrace]

Dear Sandye,

I'm so sorry to hear of the awful thing you and your son went through. You are both in my thoughts today. Please take care of each other. And please keep us updated on the situation as it develops!

Love,
Sarah

[HollyAsWell]

Hey Sandye,

I can not even begin to express how deeply this disturbs me. I am an American, and I was born here. This country's history is based on crimes of humanity against other people. America hasn't changed so much over the years. The laws have changed, to varying degrees, but the attitudes of people, in large part, have not. It's not just the police, it's our sick society. When I was 13 I moved out of this country and lived elsewhere for 17 years. About 8 years ago I moved back and I was deeply disturbed at how America holds tight to its prejudices and continues to oppress. In my view, it simply is America's greatest flaw, it is the reason we will ultimately fail at being the 'greatest country in the world'.

I do not worry when I get in a car if someone is going to pull me over for playing my music too loud. I do not worry that the police will stop me late at night and ask me if the car I am driving is mine. I do not have to worry about these things because I am white. And THAT is the simple fact of the matter. It's not because I don't break the law from time to time (I've tossed little garbage out of my car window when stopped in traffic with a policeman behind me!) it is because I am white, and there is no other reason. Until this society chooses to lose its prejudices and open up opportunities for EVERYONE here the oppression will continue. If there isn't equal opportunity, there will never be equality. What percentage of the police force is black or any other color that is not white? For that matter, what percentage of government is? A very small percentage, and that's not a coincidence - it is a contrived situation and America's biggest problem.

I live in a part of this country where the confederate flag is flown from truck beds, from houses, and until recently from the state capital. A flag that's only meaning is "white supremecy" is proudly shown everywhere. It makes me sick. It makes me angry. But most of all it makes me feel deep pity for those with such hate in their hearts and lives. It's 2002, we haven't come very far.

My child is not white. I feel the sting of racism everyday that is aimed at him. He is not even 3 but I see parents tell their children to avoid him and I hear little children asking him, "what are you?" as if he were a 'thing' instead of a human being. I would kill to protect him from ever having to feel the hate and fear that is projected at him. Right now he does not see it, he is oblivious to it, but I do see it, and my heart breaks. I'm hoping that one day the attitudes of people in this country will change, I do what I can to try to educate people and I will make sure my son has a deep sense of self respect for his heritage and who he is. I know you've done this too - it's frustrating knowing you can't do more and you can't protect them from the larger society. My heart is with you......maybe one day it will change. You have to keep that faith.

[Jana-ThinkingThin]

I am so sorry to hear what has happened to your son. My heart goes out to the both of you.
My family is white, we have been through the same thing in the early 1990's We were on our way home from the store. My husband, myself and our children were in the car. The police stopped us due to my son kept getting out of the car seat.We had just pulled over to fix his seat. The police man started telling my husband to give him 300.00 cash and he would let us go. My husband let him know we had no cash, The police man grabbed my husband and pushed him to the ground and kept hitting and kicking him. He went on about the money for a while. Then he got a call (Thank God) and left us standing there in total confusion. I dont think he must have even called in that he had stoped us, due to why would he have gotten a call? I know this is not as bad as what it must be like for a young teen. Please tell him, our prayers are with him and even though it may seem like it at times all white people are not that way....God Bless and I will keep you in my Prayers...Jana

[Sandye]

Reading your responses blew me away. I never expected such sincere concern, support, and compassion. Thank you. You will never know how much that means to me.

An investigation is underway. The owner of the car wash called everyone he knew downtown, but the BIG thing is, one of the police officers on the scene filed an incident report concerning the matter.

My son is sore from head to toe. He is going to have to receive therapy for his knee - it is swollen, bruised and he is having trouble walking on it. I told him about this post and he appreciates your concern.

I will keep you informed of his legal and medical progress. Thanks so much for caring.

[Crystal]

you have a pm

[Sandye]

I want to thank you again for your understanding and support. In response to private message and email correspondence:

I have spoken with my son concerning his music. He is a 24 year old adult. I am not violent, I had my only fist fight in 1960. I do not have a blatant disregard for the law. I am not a welfare recipient. My son is not illegitimate. I am not a racist. I do not look for others to blame for my problems. I do not live in the projects - I own my own home - my son is not a product of