[Sandye]

I have a wonderful, beautiful, beloved 24 year old son who likes to roll down the street with his sunroof open, windows down, blast his tunes and enjoy himself after putting in a hard days work. My thoughts turned to him as once again I watched in horror as terrifying images of police brutality flashed on my tv screen, and once again I listened in horror as attorneys for the accused justified the actions of the officers. Once again I find myself praying for the City of LA because when the officer in question is acquitted, LA will once again erupt in riots, flames and looting. This is a time when our nation needs to bond together to fight the common enemy of terrorism - but what happens when the terrorist has a badge, a billy club and hatred in his heart? I have had several conversations with my son concerning being a law-abiding citizen without judgment, malice or prejudice against any group of people, and that all people deserve to be evaluated on their individual merit - and he is just that kind of human being. How can I tell him that he needs to continue to pledge his allegience to a system that acquitted the officers who beat Rodney King and tortured Abner Louima? A system in which many regard my son as less than human simply because of his gorgeous chocolate brown skin? What happens to my son the next time an officer stops him for playing his music too loudly? What do I tell my son who for the first time in his life has fear and hatred in his heart? I suppose there are no real answers - I just had to get it off my chest. Thanks 4 listening.

[ July 12, 2002, 09:21 AM: Message edited by: Sandye ]

[Clara]

Sandye, girl I wish I had the answers but I don't.
I'm sorry you are put in the position to worry the way you do and worry about your son being a teenager. This makes me sad and mad. When I read that part of your post it broke my heart and I just wanted to cry. In my heart I don't want to believe it happens but it does.

My thoughts were my gosh no one should have to worry about driving down the street listening to music and enjoying themselves. No mother or father should have to worry about their son or daughter going out and getting beat up by the people we hire to protect us. Shame on us for letting it happen and especially because of the color of there skin, their sexual preference, the crowd they hang out with, the way they dress, the car they drive or music they listen too.

It all gets back to being predjudice and first impressions. I hope as a parent I have taught my children to judge each person as an individual and respect the differences in others. Everyone is different and thats what makes us special. Kids should be able to express themselves and enjoy being a kid.

I know prejudice and stereo-typing is out there you see to much of it on tv to not believe it.I also know that to fix the things that are wrong we have to all work together. Any public servant should be held accountable for their mistakes and brutality should never be acceptable.

I know that most police officers are out there everyday risking there lives for us. It's that small percentage that are responsible for the brutality should be disaplined. We need to find a way to let the police officers do the job we hired them to do and rid our public offices of all the prejudices and brutality.

I didn't mean to go on so long and ramble but I wanted to say we do need to do something about it.
Sandye love you girl... HUGS

[ July 13, 2002, 10:33 PM: Message edited by: Clara ]

[MiSsJoLi]

Shame on us for letting it happen and especially because of the color of there skin, their sexual preference, the crowd they hang out with, the way they dress, the car they drive or music they listen too.

Well first of all, I am so saddened by this event...it literally makes me sick to my stomache. I do realize that it is only a small percentage of our law enforcement who conduct themselves in such a manner, but it is ridiculous, and inexcusable(sp? dam I look ignorant cus I cant spell that). Anyway, I used to be naive, and think that this kind of stuff doesnt go on anymore, but in the last few years, I have had the opportunity to be exposed to things that have since opened me up (for lack of better words). I thought police were supposed to be the ones to arrest vioent people, and child abusers...and for the most part, I guess they do, but when you see something like this take place in the year 2002, it really makes you think. I have to turn the channel when those pictures come on. I just can hardly deal with it anymore. I don't know what to say. I can't say I understand, because I literally can't, although I feel like it is making more sense. I have definitely learned a lot, and continue to do so. I am not amking sense I guess, but I just want to say, for what it worth, that I am sorry that your son, and your family, have to go through what you do. I cannot imagine....it happens over and over again, and although people say "its getting better" or that racism doesnt exist anymore" thats a damn lie. I just dot knwo what to say...it LITERALLY hurts my heart. I love ya Sandye. You are one strong woman who I definitely admire in more ways then you know.

[kalani]

Sandy-
I wanted you to know that your post made me hurt and cry!!! I am trying to raise a little girl with the same morals and caring that you have obviously instilled in your son. It is very hard to explain to an 8 year old, why and how these things can happen!!When she asks "why would police officers do that mommy?" I am at such a loss trying to explain that kind of ignorance and hate, to a child that has been raised to love and accept everyone.
I just wanted you to know that rascism, hate, and ignorance breaks my heart, and you are not alone in asking for answers.
Take care, Kalani

[VallejoBeth]

[ September 27, 2002, 03:38 AM: Message edited by: VallejoBeth ]

[Sandye]

Beth, I am not going to blast you for your opinion ... you are most certainly entitled to it. I really do think, however, that you missed my entire point, which I will try again to explain, and then I am finished with it.

First of all, the incident referred to in my post had absolutely nothing to do with the 9/11 tragedy, 2) there was no implication that the entire police force is corrupt, and 3)no one is turning their backs on the boys in blue ... I have a police officer in the family as well. The incident I was referring to was the one where the police officer slammed a teenager's face into the car, put hit hand around his throat - all while the kid was handcuffed and my son's initial reaction to it. I referenced prior high-profile incidents because they all came up while I was speaking with my son.

Just because "they are people too", it does not absolve them from having to deal with the consequences of their actions.

I wasn't there when Rodney King committed whatever offense prompted the response of the police that were there that night, but try as I might I can not imagine myself - under any circumstances - continuing to beat a person with billy clubs, fists, kicks, etc., who was obviously no longer a threat. Further, I never condoned the riots in LA. I agree that they never should have happened - but in your own words, "think about how you would react when your temper is are flaring and the adrenaline is pumping". There is good and bad in everyone - which was my point.

I don't know how old you are or where you were during the civil rights movement of the 1960s, but I watched the movement unfold on the nightly news with my parents. One thing history taught us is that peaceful protests to achieve human rights didn't work in the Black community. Images of that poor little girl being spit on just because she tried to enter a school building, people being knocked out by billy clubs, police dogs attacking a peaceful march, fire hoses being turned on groups attempting to drink from the "whites only" water fountain, the list goes on and on ... images that will be eternally etched in my brain. Civil Rights for Black people was not achieved through peaceful efforts ... it was achieved through bloodshed and violence.

In spite of my knowledge of all of this, I still taught my children to be color-blind and responsible and that hatred of any kind is destructive and wrong. My post was written through tears of love and pain for my son.

I don't think you and I will ever see eye to eye on the issue because our points of reference are far too different. The only thing that I think you took too far was your sarcasm. "I pray for you and your son a happy and carefree life". I really didn't do anything to deserve that.

[VallejoBeth]

[ September 27, 2002, 03:38 AM: Message edited by: VallejoBeth ]

[Sandye]

Okay ... I said I would leave it alone ... but I can't. I will respond for the clarification of others who may be observing the progression of this post.

The reason I construed your statement as negative (although it should be obvious) is that I felt you were kicking me while I was down and attempting to invalidate the pain that my family was going through simply because you can not relate to it. Then you put some prayer on it - as if closing with veiled religious rhetoric would disguise the underlying theme of your response. That is the ultimate insult.

If I were to adopt your way of thinking - that if "these people" (what's up with that terminology?!?!? - do you realize how that sounds?) had not been doing wrong in the first place, they would not have these issues to deal with - I would be adopting a "blame the victim" philosophy which is a skewed and unenlightened way of looking at things. I am not judging ... neither is anyone else who responded to my post. I am doing what everyone does - watching the news and drawing conclusions based on my point of reference - which just happens to be different than yours. Not better, not worse, not right, not wrong - just different. I don't expect you to understand, identify, or care about how difficult this was for us.

I am aware (painfully, sometimes) that I am in the minority in many areas of my life, but that does not make my opinion any less valid. I utilize this forum for the same purpose everyone else does - to express what is going on in my life and get it off my chest.

The reason I chose to post in the "solidarity" forum rather than the main one is because this is usually the place where compassion is shown. My heart was broken and I really needed a little of that. I am grateful for the people who found it in their hearts to give that to me.

Rather than using a quote from a fictional, dim-witted character, I will leave you with a quote from someone real. "Every way of a man is right in his own eyes: but the Lord pondereth the hearts." God Proverbs 21:2

[VallejoBeth]

[ September 27, 2002, 03:39 AM: Message edited by: VallejoBeth ]

[Sandye]

Originally posted by Sandye:
... which just happens to be different than yours. Not better, not worse, not right, not wrong - just different.

I never do anything with the intention of trying to make someone else appear stupid or wrong, so that was taken the wrong way. We have been in agreement to disagree all the way down the line. Peace.

[VallejoBeth]

I edited all my posts out, because no matter what I say, no matter how I say it, Sandye wants to be the victim and I will not play the game... She will/has blamed me for attacking her. She can believe what she wants and without my posts here clouding the truth, she can have other people believe her version of the truth as well...

[ October 12, 2002, 04:36 PM: Message edited by: VallejoBeth ]

[HollyAsWell]

Vallejo, I believe one of your posts said something like, "Heck, don't get down on the police for beating this 16 year old, they were in an adrenaline situation, what would you do?"

Here is what I would not do:

http://www.thememoryhole.org/chavez-beating.htm

In my opinion, if anyone even suspects that this "might" be their reaction in a similar scenario I would recommend they seek counselling now for whatever hostility issues they may have.

[ September 28, 2002, 10:55 AM: Message edited by: HollyAsWell ]

[Pattib]

Sandye ~ i think u said it all to youre son by being there and by holding him. be him 5 , 10 , or 24., he needed you and u were there, thats more than any words or anyone other person can do. u are mom. u know? i believe u said it all without saying., ~ i do.

and. gosh. there's no words to say to help this make any sense. i am so sorry u and youre family have to go thru this. he looks like a beautiful well adjusted young adult, fine citizen. hugs friend. ~ patti