[roller_coaster]

I've been involved in a tumultuous 2 month relationship with a guy. I know 2 months doesn't sound like a long time, but I was so consumed with this guy and his numerous problems, it felt like a year.

I was constantly telling myself I should break up with him, and last Sunday he beat me to the punch. He cut me off hard, knowing very well that his brutal silence would devastate me.

And it did.

However, I was helped by my weight loss.

During the 2 months I was seeing him I felt like I was eating soooo much ... and yet I could tell I was still losing weight, slowly, and that was confirmed recently when I visited my doc. 4 pounds lost in 2 months, awesome considering how much I'd been eating.

And it seems that suddenly my body is smaller. On day 2 after the breakup, I dragged out some clothes I haven't been able to wear since 3 or 4 years ago. THEY FIT. Some are even too loose. Even though I was crying over my guy, I was thrilled about the clothing.

On each subsequent day I pulled more clothing out to try on, and found the same result. The stuff fits or is a bit too big.

I feel so fortunate that the breakup didn't trigger a binge. In fact, the opposite happened. I lost my appetite. I've been so hungry I feel like my stomach is turning inside out. It's not cool to have hunger on top of the sick feeling I've got from the breakup, but it's probably a good indication that I'm losing weight.

I finally talked to the guy very briefly Friday night, Saturday morning, and this morning. By briefly I mean 2 or 3 minutes. Each of the 3 conversations was extremely unpleasant. He is SO angry with me, and I don't know why ! He's doing anything he can to hurt me. I didn't deserve such treatment. I don't understand what's going on, but I do know as I pull myself together that I need to realize that it's not me, he's got existing problems, and I need to move on.

Today I pulled out some spring/summer tops I'd bought in the summer of 2004 hoping I'd be small enough to wear them in the summer of 2005. But I gained weight instead of losing, so the tops have been stored away in the back of my closet. I pulled a couple of them out today and THEY FIT. I have a whole stack that size, all brand new and never worn. Heck, I won't even have to buy any new clothing this spring (if I don't regain the weight I lost, that is).

Just thought I'd share ....

[ February 12, 2006, 09:57 PM: Message edited by: roller_coaster ]

[Jessica6602]

Wow...I am so sorry that you have had such a horrible breakup. I really dont know how to explain the losing weight even though u have been eating alot. I can just say keep up the good work! I hope that it all gets better within time with the breakup and believe I know how it feels. It will get better and move on with your thin self. GOOD LUCK!!

[jaspernotting]

Congrats on the loss! Including that jerk! Sorry it have been a hard time, but you deserve someone better. It is never easy but as the wheel of time rolls by, you will forget him completely! Cheers!!

[momoflots]

Sorry your going through this. Guys can be such jerks. Remember your better than him.

[Melba]

Well I am glad you are seeing something positive from the breakup. I am sorry he did you this way..but you are right. It's about him..and not you.

I think you are the right track.. I know will be okay girl! You are strong..and wonderful!

Congrats on the clothes!

[missus]

Hey Roller, much luv to ya gurl, for not letting the breakup get you down and not take care of you. For whatever reason he has for what he's doing, so happy you are taking it in stride. That's what is pissing him off--you're going on with your life and letting him know that one monkey doesn't run the whole show. Continue exercising, eating healthy and taking of self baby, you are right on target. Hope things get better in the romance department sweetie.

Hugs

Missus

[eve01]

Sorry about the break up! But WHOOAHAHH!!! on the weight loss!

[roller_coaster]

Thank you all for your kind and supportive statements. They are very helpful. Truly.

If I had gained weight during those 2 months with the guy I would feel like absolute crap right now ! I feel so fortunate that I didn't gain, and in fact lost a little.

You know what I really hate ? I can't hate him ! I can't even really dislike him ! He had a tough childhood, some unlucky breaks as an adult, and I don't think he ever really recovered. He has a lot of pride and won't ask for help or even admit that he needs help, but he admits his life is nowhere near where he would like it.

I can tell he's a great guy underneath his tough persona.

He knew I would ultimately break up with him. In fact, I had done it twice within the first month, or attempted to, but he asked me to reconsider. I'm a softie, so I caved. The night before he dumped me I gave him an ultimatum. He squeaked through but I think in the end my ultimatum angered him. And so, the brutal cutoff.

I just wish I could be friends with the guy because even though I can't date him I don't want to lose contact with him completely. I still care about him. A lot. And those things I liked about him at the beginning I still like about him.

Oh I'm so sad right now ! I know I'll get over it though. It's not the first time I've been through a breakup. And this time I was lucky that the relationship had been relatively brief and we were never fully settled and happy for any long period of time. It was a roller coaster from start to finish. I guess I have the appropriate forum name right now !

I feel better today but I still don't have my appetite back. The sick stomach reminds me of him and thinking about him makes my stomach hurt ... it's a vicious cycle !

I think tonight I'd better try on some more clothes to cheer myself up.