[waiymee]

Apologies for this being off topic, but I'm nearly at the end of my rope and need some advice. I'm living with a friend of mine at the moment. We had a pseudo-relationship at one point (the wrong side of pseudo), but as of right now, we are just buddies. Recently, I've been trying to get my life back on track with my health, my relationship with God, school etc He, on the other hand, seems to be content where he is in life. And that's fine, who am I to judge? Long story long, I don't have enough energy or time to focus on getting me together as well as getting him off (I'm so sorry if that's TMI) I came home today and there was a...toy and some ky on the bed. He's been bringing it up more and more about how he's not getting any blah blah What should I do? I'm tired of hearing about it, but in my current situation, I can't move out. Sorry for the length and weird topic, but you guys always seem to have great advice


Thanks

[whathappened2me]

Are you both on the lease? If so, tell him to elf off. If you are not both on the lease you still have to draw the line for your self respect. Secondly, check you state's laws about cohabitational living. There are states that protect "live-in cohorts" even if they are not on the lease. Good luck

[waiymee]

Originally Posted by whathappened2me

Are you both on the lease? If so, tell him to elf off. If you are not both on the lease you still have to draw the line for your self respect. Secondly, check you state's laws about cohabitational living. There are states that protect "live-in cohorts" even if they are not on the lease. Good luck

No, we're not both on the lease. I just moved in until I can get on my feet. Thanks so much for the information I was beginning to think no one would respond.

[whathappened2me]

No problem. Keep me posted on the outcome and so I know that you are okay.

[waiymee]

Originally Posted by whathappened2me

No problem. Keep me posted on the outcome and so I know that you are okay.

Will do. Thanks so much

[jenstarns]

I thought about responding but thought twice my advice isn't always taken with the kindness it is given. I will say that I agree with whathappenedtome nothing is worth your self respect. Can you live together as friends without the "benefits" part. I hope things work out. I said a prayer for you

[Band Mamma]

Okay, I'll take a shot at this. Sorry if I get blunt- I mean this in the best way.
You've really gotten yourself in a pickle. You're too poor to leave (which it sounds like you would do if you could) and you're too busy/tired to service him. Correct? (I only used the word service to avoid the censor.)

Can you talk to him about things he could do for you to freeup your time and put you more in the mood? Failing that, could you come to an agreement that you are better off friends without benefits and sleep on the couch? If you truly are just buddies, that shouldn't be a problem and he look elsewhere for his benefits while you still get to stay there to get yourself together.

How long will it be until you can move? After this is all over, make sure to tell your friends "Things that seem like a good idea at the time but really aren't. " LOL

[waiymee]

Originally Posted by jenstarns

I thought about responding but thought twice my advice isn't always taken with the kindness it is given. I will say that I agree with whathappenedtome nothing is worth your self respect. Can you live together as friends without the "benefits" part. I hope things work out. I said a prayer for you

Thank you. The prayers alone move mountains

[waiymee]

Originally Posted by Band Mamma

Okay, I'll take a shot at this. Sorry if I get blunt- I mean this in the best way.
You've really gotten yourself in a pickle. You're too poor to leave (which it sounds like you would do if you could) and you're too busy/tired to service him. Correct? (I only used the word service to avoid the censor.)

Can you talk to him about things he could do for you to freeup your time and put you more in the mood? Failing that, could you come to an agreement that you are better off friends without benefits and sleep on the couch? If you truly are just buddies, that shouldn't be a problem and he look elsewhere for his benefits while you still get to stay there to get yourself together.

How long will it be until you can move? After this is all over, make sure to tell your friends "Things that seem like a good idea at the time but really aren't. " LOL

I love blunt Need it lol But that's it in a nutshell. We talked last night and I explained my position. I thought we had resolved it last night, but when I got back this afternoon there was a vibrator and ky on the bed. He basically said it's so I can service myself since I'm not servicing him. ??? That's why I was sort of at the end of my rope. I'm trying to move to Japan in December, but that seems sooooooo far away.



PS I've already spread that message. LOL

[Band Mamma]

Sounds like the toys are a passive-aggressive move. Maybe he thinks you think he's not doing the job right and is hurt. Tell him phen has dried up all your fluids and your libido- maybe that will make him feel better.

[waiymee]

Originally Posted by Band Mamma

Tell him phen has dried up all your fluids and your libido- maybe that will make him feel better.

LMAO! He'll just leave a bucket of ky on the bed instead of a bottle