Low libido anyone?

[leo2727]

Well, I have to say that ever since I started Phen my libido is gone. I mean I don't want to get too personal, but I've always had low libido, but now is totally gone. I can say that it's been almost two months since hubby and me NADA. He's starting to get annoyed, but I can't stand him even touching me. Sex, is not on my mind at all. He doesn't know I'm on Phen, because if he did he will probably ask me to stop taking them. He doesn't like for me to be in any kind of diet pills. Has anybody else experience this? To tell you the truth I'm fine without sex, but like I said he's starting to get upset and that annoys me. The poor thing thinks I'm getting it somewhere else. He thinks I'm having chats with some guys 'cause I've become addicted to this site, every chance I get, I'm here reading this site. Ever since I found this site It has helped with my weight loss, I just wanna say I am so glad I found it , because before I would take Phen off and on, because I thought I was the only one with the weird effect and would scare me so I would stop. But I found you guys and now I know it's ok, everybody experiences this weird effects and thanks to you I stuck in there, and the side effects did go away and I've lost weight, finally. Anyways this site is a great motivator for me. Thanks for being here you guys. And again if anyone has the same low libido let me know please so I know I am not the only one. Thanks.

[ilovetigger]

My libido left with my hysterectomy. One thing I can say is I am starting to feel better about myself with the weight starting to come off. Me feeling better, feeling sexier, is a good thing as odds are hubby will get a lot more with a lot more spontaneity as I lose even more.

[PirateQueenApril]

I had alot of it before and not much now. I think sometimes it is because I have so many more activities on my mind now. I hope that's it anyway. I don't want mine to stay gone!

PQA

[kareninfl]

If you don't mind my asking, how old are you? I am 45 (what they call "perimenopausal) and I recently had a THOROUGH check-up (all kinds of hormone levels, etc.). Several things were not in balance, which really is normal for my age, but I didn't like how I was feeling. If you typically have low libido something hormonal might not be right. I started taking bioidentical hormones the same time as I started taking phen. Everything is better now ....

[roogirl]

I am sorry to hear about the low libido. Right now, I seem to be thinking about sex more often. Could be the phen, more energy, less tired=more interested. Or could be the fact that I am working out more, and losing some weight, so I feel better about myself. At any rate....I hope it doesn't go away anytime soon.

[Rockin' Rebecca]

I had a dreadfully low libido in my twenties but for the past few years it has been quite high. I've not noticed any difference since taking phen. My husband usually has to ask me to leave him alone.

[mbsunshine]

I too have always had a low libido.. but mine also seems lower than before. I'm not sure if it's the phen. I think it could be a combo of the weight gain and phen. I'm only 30 and my libido is driving me ( and my boyfriend) nuts.
I'm like you Leo2727.. I could live without it. I'd rather go to sleep. I would like it to get better though, just don't know what to do about it. When I was 30 pounds lighter I still had zip.
Let me know if you find anything that will work.

[redsox8191a]

I'm a guy..so not sure if this topic would apply to me..lol. Phen certainly hasn't affected my libido. If anything the 34lbs lost has increased it..as I no longer feel like my heart is going to bust out of my chest from the "physical activity"..lol. However my GF is 45 and I have noticed her libido has dropped (thankfully she had a very high libido..so it hasn't disappeared..lol) along with other tell tale signs
of perimenopause. If you are anywhere near that age it could be that as well.

Now from a guys point of view...be aware of your hubby's needs too. If you have zero libido and keep pushing him away he will either resent your weight loss and truly chalk it up to getting yourself "sexier and healthier" for someone else (I get the little comments too on occassion about all the ladies on here..lol)or he will think if you won't occassionally satisfy his needs he'll go look elsewhere as well. Basically remember there are two of you in this relationship and while it is wonderful that you are making these changes for yourself, don't go push him away in the process. but then again I'm a guy and what do I know..lol

[Rockin' Rebecca]

In case it isn't said I just want to thank Mark for his candidness. I also agree with him.

Another thought (in addition to age & hormones) would be that dropping weight changes the way we see ourselves. How many people refer to themselves as getting "sexier" as they lose weight. For many people the idea of seeing themselves as sexy is both exciting and frightening. I guess I'm saying there can be a number of psychological aspects associated with libido loss. Perhaps you could find some ways to make the intimacy more appealing- for example romantic dinner or back massage preceding. My 2 cents.

[leo2727]

Thank you all for your response. I think it might be hormonal, like I said before, I've always had low libido, it got worse after kids, and now on Phen even worse. It has nothing to do with me being self consious about my weight, I have no problem with that, it's just that I truly do not feel any desire what so ever. Sex for me is blah, do I have to do it? I really wish I was like other women, wanting a lot. I do get afraid my husband will get bored and get it somewhere else. oh god what am I saying to tell you the truth sometimes I get so annoyed at him wanting it so much that those are one of my deep thoughts, I'd say to myself not to him "I wish he would get it somewhere else so he would leave me alone". Sometimes I think him and me are incompatible when it comes to sex, he would love to have it four to five times a week, I am fine with only once a month. Don't need more. You guys I think it's hormonal because it gets worse before TOM. I know this sounds mean and harsh but it's how I feel sometimes. I am 30 years old and I think my hormones are wacky. You think? lol. Anyways please don't judge me. I am only looking for help and I think I will go to a doctor concerning this problem, I've never had a hormonal check, I think it's time. Don't mean to scare anybody thinking this has to do with me taking Phen. Maybe it's not. Well, thanks again for reading and responding and sorry if I got too persoanl I just needed to vent.

[rasoto]

This has always been an issue for me ... after a certain amount of time w/someone it gets "routine" or "boring" to me...and becomes a chore. I had to make it up in my mind that I would not let that stop me completely. I have started to come up with new things that excite me...(lol)...like, I will buy a new sexy nightie (now that I've lost over 40 lbs, and lovin it)...and I will strut my stuff all over the bedroom and house (of course once the kinds are in bed). He gets so excited to see me, and how open I am, that he can't keep his hands off me...and that makes me feel wonderful. I also come up with ways of making the sex itself more interesting to me. Like, spicing it up with toys and such (I can't believe I am saying this stuff...so not, me)...But really...I know how you are feeling. And what works for me, might not work for you. I really think it was always my mindset...and now, I'm make sure to make an effort to be excited about it and it is fun now...actually something I look forward to!

Good luck hun!

[Katrina73]

LOL @ Redsox..My husband read your post and said to me, "Listem to him Hon."

But I have to say, My uhum "Friskyness" has increased as I lose the weight. It has made me feel a whole lot better about myself.

~Kat

[phenlander]

phen or no-phen ->

at least from this guy's point of view.. with the libido its like they say... the primary sex organ is the mind..

if you feel good about yourself.. things pick up.. however like redsox indicated there are two minds in the equation.

phenlander

[BabyGirl_Lee]

Wow I always thought that it was just me...maybe the ones that have it are the non-normal ones lol I think that my raging teen hormones got misplaced somewhere lol.

Dec 12,1991 I got married and my hormones went through the roof, it was me aggravating him instead of him aggravating me. We had our son Nov 12, 1992...told ya they rocketed and he is my proof lol. But after my son was born, everything changed, my hormones flat-lined and unfortunately they have never returned, we also divorced, but not because of that.I do know that it wasn't from gaining weight, because after he was born, I dropped back down to 120-125, and after my daughter was born in 1995, I went down to around 115 and stayed that way till 1997 or 1998, after I had to have a hysterectomy and also found out that I had a brain tumor, so I did a lot emotional eating and couldn't work, so that didn't help with the weight gain.My heighest weight was 198, I went to Weight Watchers and lost down to 168 and that changed nothing, even though I felt better about myself. My husband and I got married in 2001, but have been together since 1994...he is a awesome husband, wonderful Daddy and um is how do I say this, great at unmaking the bed lol. But in honesty I just don' care if I get it or not..If it wasn't for understanding his feelings, I wouldn't care if I ever had it again. Has anyone ever tried one of those libido enhancement herbals? If so, please share.

And Mark, I completely agree and so does Confucious lol..... Confucius Says;"Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cathouse."

HAGN,
Leonda

[redsox8191a]

I only expressed what I did because in my case it ended up being true to an extent..lol. My ex-wife was not into sex at all. We were young when we met (I was 17 she was 16) and while we never had sex all the time we would have it semi often. But once we were married and then had kids it went from once in awhile to once a month to less then 6 times a year. The sad part is she even got jealous if I would take matters into my own hands..lol. thought that it was a form of cheating on her. Well after years and I do mean years of putting up with this I very much considered cheating on her. I instead stepped back and looked at the relationship as a whole and decided we were different people with different attitudes towards life etc..and divorced her. Now understand that the no sex thing was not the only issue...but it was an important issue. A man needs physical love as well as the emotional aspect. So if you don't want to have relations with your man, understand you are pushing him towards eventually finding it elsewhere..and it won't be 100% his fault for failing you.

[redsox8191a]

It may not just be a hormonal issue either..it could be an emotional one as well. My ex sufferred from depression and when she first went on the medication it was like she was a new person (thats where the son came into being..lol) but eventually either the medicine didn't work as well or something as she reverted back to her old.

Now i'm certainly not bashing anyone for feeling as you do..everyone is different. all i'm saying is try to realize the hubby's point of view in it all. don't get upset or jealous if he tends to watch porn on his own or look at sites on the pc etc..etc.. It may just be his own way of taking care of his needs and issues while trying NOT to go and cheat.

Man how did I ever get into this subject..lol. Maybe I need to skip these in the future..lol.

[Fullmoon]

Leo you have gotten some relly good advice form everyone here. Especially the guys. I am glad we can get a mans point of view. It is hard to do that with men we know in person. Sometimes it is easy to tell it like it is when you are not face to face.

A man needs physical love as well as the emotional aspect.

I have a question for you guys. I have always been told that having sex to a man is just pysical. That is why they are able to have intercourse and not get all mushie about it.

But women on the other hand let their feeling and emotions take over.

How much of that is true with men. When you are with someone is it just the act?

[SCRed]

I looked up side effects on Google and Change in sexual drive was listed. If you are taking birth control that will lower your libido as well. Mark you brought up some wonderful points. It nice to hear a guy put it out there. I have been where you are LEO 2727. Though I loved my Husband dearly I did not want to have "fun". This really bothered my honey. It took some time but I realised it was not him but me. There were things that I had to work out for myself internally. Also we women need other things than the "fun". The "fun" is emotional as well as physical for must women. My husband and I had to change our daily routine as well to help with the "fun". You can not come home from work do your chores, watch TV and go to bed and expect to be in the mood. We started doing things together. Cooking dinner, talking about other things instead of work and the same ol same ol. Spending more quality time together, feeling better about who I am and a few toys later, badha bing it was lots of "fun". I wish the best of luck with this.

[Fullmoon]

SCRed- In other words, you got your passion back! I fear we tend to lose it and not even know it is gone.

[redsox8191a]

I'll try to answer your question as best I can fullmoon. (I might be crazy for trying...lol)

Having sex with a partner that you love is much more then a physical act. We might not express it nor want anyone to know but we too crave the intimacy of the moment as well. Atleast I do!!

Now if you are just having sex for the fun of it (many have an issue with seperating the two..thinking it can ONLY be an intimate act and not something to share and enjoy with someone you're not in love with)then ya it is a physical act to feel good and make someone else feel good as well (not all men worry about that last part unfortunately..lol). So it all depends on your partner in my opinion. I know I enjoy the intimacy with my GF as much as the physical aspect. but thats just me.

[Fullmoon]

You did very well Redsox. You told me what I wanted to hear. I would hate to think otherwise!

[SCRed]

Fullmoon, you are right I did not think of it like that but we did regain our passion for one another. You are also correct in " I fear we tend to lose it and not even know it is gone." One day you wake up and ask yourself how did we get like this and the answer is all to simple, every day life. We get in ruts and boy they are hard to get out of sometimes.

[Fullmoon]

Yes it is hard to get out of the rut. We have lost our passion. It did not dawn on me until a few months ago. My husband has been promoted at work and that is all he can think about. Not to mention the 12 and 13 hour days he is putting in and the 4 or 5 phone calls a night he gets from work. And a 12 year old that goes to sleep after we do. I know the love is stronger than it has ever been but I miss the butt rubs while I am cooking and the sneak to the bedroom as quick as you can.... That was so much fun. When things start to settle down and he is not so exhausted when he comes in from work, I am going to light his fire and he won't even know what hit him. Do I sound like a desperate housewife? Oh dear lord NO!
I don't work outside the home and I think about these things. But I feel so guilty when I want to rape him as he is walking in the door!!

[SCRed]

Don't feel bad, he should feel lucky! Maybe the two of you need a weekend getaway. No talk of work no talk of bills etc. Just you, your honey, and a nice room. Desperate Housewife No! Adoring. Loving wife YES! You can climb out this rut but it will take time and effort. I think it took us about 6 months to reclaim that can't wait to kiss you, pinch your bottom, can't get enough of you phase. Send your 12 year old to a friends house and grab a hold of that man when he gets home from work and remind him exactly what he is working for if you know what I mean.(wink, wink)

[redsox8191a]

Full moon - I hear you. My GF and I go through that as well. We have 2 teenage daughters that live with us then add in my two (11yr old boy and soon to be 15yr old daughter) and we ALWAYS seem to have someone home with us. All we get though is the butt squeezes when making dinner or the quickie locked in the bathroom or in the basement switching laundry. We miss the time ALONE with no kids where we can take our time and be intimate..candles, music a toy or two and such. where you can just lay together after round one and go for seconds..lol. Thats the part we crave the most. the passion is there but not the means and staying up till the kids go to bed is just too much...they stay up later then us..lol. I went and installed a slide lock on the bedroom door so we could atleast get a little privacy and not worry about getting walked in on!! lol.

[wannabfree]

After having my son, mine went away. I can't tell a difference either way. Sometimes it's there and sometimes it's not. Although when the pill gives me extra energy, it helps in that arena.

[Fullmoon]

wannabfree - Being a parent can be so exhausting. You are alway doing something for your children, husband, friend..... it just never ends. But it is so rewarding. I don't feel that the process of childbirth actually takes our desire away, it is all there is to do after we have babies. Make time when ever you can to show him how much you love. I pet my husband like he is a baby. Lay his clothes out, bring him coffee, crank his truck in the morning so it won't be so cold when he gets in. I know I know... But one day the kids will be gone and I will miss them dearly. Then we will be able to find each other again. Just keep the love going girl~! And yes the pills help me to. Heck I have a hard time going to sleep at all from them !

[Fullmoon]

SCRed and Redsox ~
I can't wait for that time again. My youngest son has never stayed away from home. My 17 yr old lives with his dad now, closer commute to school. My step-son (19 yrs. old) is at college.

My husband use to work night shift and we could play during the day. But he has gone to 1st shift. At least I get to feel his warm body next to me night. I really AM thankful for the little things.

[sherriberry_28320]

Well........honestly I feel mine has increased and my husband was like " I do not know what's got in to to you and what you are doing but keep it up!!"LOL.....I guess losing those 34 lbs has helped too.

[Fullmoon]

Hi Sheriberry,

Just like phenlander said

at least from this guy's point of view.. with the libido its like they say... the primary sex organ is the mind..

We feel better about ourselves. Not to mention there is not quiet so much between you and your SO!!!

[Moto121]

Well there are lists of reasons why your libido could be low in the first place. If you find yourself stressed out and finding no time for sex, then obviously your sex drive will be low. I was in your situation of having no libido and it's not pleasant. I tried it all to get it back.

One thing could be any medications your on, birth control is a problem for a lot of women too. I found a herbal enhancer to really boost my sex drive and get me wet all the time when needed. It was great too considering it's like the natural viagra for women and their are no side effects. The stuff I'm on is called hersolution. I saved on it at female enhancers which was helpful.

I found even after exercising and dieting for months, nothing brought my libido back. I guess you will just have to wait if you don't try anything to change it.

[tarekawilson]

OMG!!!!! im going thru the exact same thing!!!!!!!!!! i thought i was the only one!!!!!!!!!!!

[chubs]

The original post was 2 years ago. wow.

Well...i TOO have very low libido. This didn't happen to me til...oh...about 1 year ago? maybe more... And this is before phenD as I just started on PhenD 1 month ago.

I blamed it on the NuvaRing birth control. I finally got off it about 3 months ago, to see if my libido would come back......and so far............ not much. Albeit a TINY bit better, but not really. But I heard it takes about that long for the hormones from the birth control to lose its effect and leave your body.

This low libido, is EXTREMELY stressful on my relationship with my bf of almost 6 years. And I'm only 27, so this is depressing for me. I would LOVE to enjoy and WANT to have sex. My boyfriend used to "wake me up" in the middle of the night and it was OKAY, but now, I get so angry, and push him away. It's gotten pretty bad, and I have no explaination for it. He's told me before that he feels sooo lame even trying, only to get rejected and feel even more lame. I feel sooo awful Sometimes, I'll FORCE myself to "get into the mood" and he tells me he'd rather me not. It's so fake, and he can't feel great knowing that I really dont want to. He's been pretty understanding SO FAR...he tells me not to worry, and that one day it'll come back. But I know he's suffering. We're long distance as it is, and only see each other every other weekend. I do worry about pushing him away onto other girls who gladly give it up.

I'm really not a toys kinda girl. Makes me feel ....dirtyish, ashamed. And I hate nothing more than to feel that way. I thought about herbal stuff, but I don't really know much about it, and whether it even works.

*sigh*

[kencz]

I have been on now for just over a week... have not had a problem with libido, but seems like I am very sensitive, to the point of having no lasting at all.. and this was never a problem in the past. Hoping this will not last.....