[roller_coaster]

I was just talking to a male coworker who had lost 45 pounds during the course of the past year. He made that simplistic remark "If I can do it, anybody can". First, he's a guy. It's easier for men to lose weight than for women to lose weight. Second, he was never overweight as a kid, teen, or young adult. He started putting on little bits of weight each year during his 30's and early 40's.

I'm on a mission not only to lose weight but to educate people. I didn't want to argue with the coworker but I had to set him straight, especially when he told me he had told his wife that all that's required for losing weight is "desire". I feel sorry for her.

I'm constantly telling people that food to many overweight people is like alcohol to an alcoholic. Some people have no attraction to abusing alcohol and some do ... I rarely drink and I never ever feel like overdrinking. Alcoholics use alcohol to suppress unpleasant emotions just as food addicts do. Alcoholics are actually more fortunate in that they don't need alcohol to survive. I often tell people that being a food addict and trying to restrict food intake is like telling an alcoholic he/she has to drink 3 times a day, but just a tiny amount.

Also, it's a medical fact that there are times in your life, esp during childhood, when gaining weight causes in increase in the NUMBER of fat cells. When you subsequently lose weight, the fat cells don't go away, they just lose fat. If you deplete them enough your body will think you are starving, even though you have plenty of total fat because you have a high number of cells. That's one reason why a fat kid becomes a fat adult.

The simplistic view of weight loss as being a matter only of effort or desire really drives me crazy. Do these people think I WANT to be fat ? I've been on a f*cking diet practically my entire life ! I went on my first diet at the tender age of 10. Most people have no idea how much an overweight person has to override their natural tendencies to lose weight. I have been letting people know that while I'm losing weight I often do not feel so great. I'm hungry much of the day, sometimes so much that my stomach feels like it's turned inside out. Sometimes I feel high. It's not pleasant, and I know going back to my old eating pattern would help me feel better.

[*Malynda*]

"Most people have no idea how much an overweight person has to override their natural tendencies to lose weight."

Roller coaster~ this is so true. It's almost instinct to want to overeat when you have done it your whole life. But just remember, WE understand what it's like, so forget the co-worker and keep coming here for support. I gaurantee that every single emotion you have during weightloss has been experienced by most of us here. That's why we come here everyday~ it's a safe haven where we can go and just be accepted and understood. No questions asked~ just come as you are.
And yeah, some people do think fat people "choose" to be fat. Just like some people believe that drug addicts "choose" to become addicted. No way is this true in either case, but you know, people will always have thier own opinions. What is true is this... food is an addiction, a crutch, a companion, and also a pretty darn good comforter to most of us with weight issues. It's hard to overcome these feelings we associate with food because we often lack the resources to direct these feelings elsewhere. Sure, anyone can lose weight with a good amount of "desire", but for those of us that eat to mask something deeper, it's nearly impossible to FIND the desire. We have to learn to channel our emotions into other aspects of our lives and quit relying on food to be the "cure-all" of every single disappointment we face. This is much easier said than done though. Like I said, it has become instinct for many of us. Unfortunately, desire hardly ever trumps instinct. So we are kind of hanging in limbo not knowing exactly HOW to overcome this pattern of addiction, but yet we have the desire to let go of it. It's a battle, that's for sure.
Wow~ sorry to ramble so much! I just wanted to let you know that I'm feeling ya girl... I understand exactly what you are saying. Hang in there and you will succeed!

[Princess S]

I totally agree

Think Thin

[Pretty Lola]

Rollercoaster- AMEN!!!

Boy you hit everything right on. You know what makes me crazy is when my dh wants to lose weight, he just lays off the McDonalds and donuts at work for a week and drops 6 pounds. THEN he tells me he doesn't understand why I'm struggling so much, all it takes is "eating a little less and exercising a little more." I'm not sure what the definition of little less and little more is, but I can tell you, I have to bust my *** all week without any slip-ups to keep the scale going down!

[Eternity]

You know what makes me crazy is when my dh wants to lose weight, he just lays off the McDonalds and donuts at work for a week and drops 6 pounds. THEN he tells me he doesn't understand why I'm struggling so much, all it takes is "eating a little less and exercising a little more."
I feel ya Rollercoaster. I thought my husband was supportive but frankly he's getting on my freakin nerves!!! He to needs to lose weight but he drops it in no time, and he tells me see all you need to do is drink more water!! Always questions what I ate, whether or not I worked out ( which he hasnt done once! Grr. I ask so you gonna get on the treadmill tonight, nah tomarrow nite. Not! So I just tell him put up or shut up. Im losing so weight so get off my back. LOL

[Eternity]

You know what makes me crazy is when my dh wants to lose weight, he just lays off the McDonalds and donuts at work for a week and drops 6 pounds. THEN he tells me he doesn't understand why I'm struggling so much, all it takes is "eating a little less and exercising a little more."


I feel ya Pretty Lola. I thought my husband was supportive but frankly he's getting on my freakin nerves!!! He to needs to lose weight but he drops it in no time, and he tells me see all you need to do is drink more water!! Always questions what I ate, whether or not I worked out ( which he hasnt done once! Grr. I ask so you gonna get on the treadmill tonight, nah tomarrow nite. Not! So I just tell him put up or shut up. Im losing so weight so get off my back. LOL

[jaspernotting]

Yes so true... We are heavy because of many reasons, some due to allergy to medicine they are talking and some went way back to painful experience one had years ago... whatever, nobody choose to be fat/big...

I'm called fatty as a kid though I knew I wasn't fat but the rest of kids are bones and skin! (Common during baby-boomer period)

Not everyone has the same amount of fats cell and not everyone burnt fats at the same rate too! If they think we are not responsible people just beacuse of our weight, they are wrong, or maybe they need to read more.

[justmarried521]

I was not over weight as a child or ever in my life, up until about a year and a half ago. I just started packing on the weight. I went from a size 5 to a size 14 in a matter of a month.
And I'm having a lot of trouble taking the weight off. It's not just you can do it if you have the "desire". Most people who are overweight have the desire to lose weight.
I can't even get a doctor to find out why I gained like I did. Some people have medical reasons that make it nearly impossible to lose weight.
Sorry about rambling but it makes me mad when people think that all heavy people just eat and eat.

[MistyShell]

I don't know why anyone would choose to be overweight...so, I believe the biggest majority of overweight individuals have that desire. The desire doesn't get the job done, though. There are so many factors to being overweight/obese. Ignore that co-worker and go on about your business. We are here for you roller_coaster.



Misty

[delightfulshorty]

hi everyone newbie here. i am would like to try phen but not sure which type to take can someone help me?
where can i find phern other than a doctor because i don't have one.

[jaspernotting]

You could view all types of Phen over this site... or OTC at Walmart...

You aware of the side effect? And the minimum BMI? Good luck to you girl!

[delightfulshorty]

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where can i find phern other than a doctor because i don't have one.

[delightfulshorty]

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[jbo]

Ok my turn. Let me start by saying this, In our subconcious minds we are hurting ourselves because we don't feel we deserve better, somewhere down the line we were hurt and by eating more than we really need we are subconciously wanting to be fat so we appear unattractive. It is kinda hard to explain but I read alot of self-help books on this stuff because I was always a very thin kid. I gained some in highschool but was never huge and I ran track and cross-country and my coach would tell my mom to watch my diet and beleive me she did. I would go to bed straving and crying but in the end I lost 20 in one month and went to state and placed all ohio however, i did end up with a stress fracture, malnutrion. Anyway, what I'm trying to get at is this subject doesn't just start there in my life of end there either. It is just a part of me and my habits. I wanted to say hey forget you guys now that I'm on my own I can eat whatever I want and i did. Now its been a battle ever since. I eat when I'm stressed I bury my emotions with food and don't even realize it. We all need to get to know ourselves on a deeper level. Things happen to people and negative things can have a huge impact on anyone. We all deal with things differently however, the main point i'm trying to get across is when you go to pick up something you know you're going to regret stop and ask yourself and I'm not saying you cant't have it I'm just saying take 2min or even more and sit down and start writting and ask yourself what is bothering me? What just happened that is causing me to want to hurt myself? I'm not saying this will happen all the time I'm saying for those of us who eat out of emotions. Not all the time do we eat out of emotions sometimes it's just because were hungry and want it and thats fine when it's that,b ut when it is something else then thats where you need to start to dig up those buried emotions and fears and let out. Make sure you really feel them and let yourself go though the process you may cry, and that is fine. You need to hug yourself and tell yourself out loud you did not deserve to be treated that way or it isn't your fault. YOu need to get into your past and I found meditation helps with bringing this out. I'm always in the self-help section cause I always and trying to work on something about myself I feel needs strenghin or shaped up. It's not just about losing weight it is about changing who you are in the inside also. Self esteem doesn't just come over nite or with a few pounds dropped you really need to focus on your weakness and work on everything on the inside so it can come through on the outside. Sorry Icould go on and on. Hope I helped someone