[bigbonedgirl]

After I had my 3 kids I gained some weight and with my anti-depressants and such I have had a hard time losing weight. I have finally started losing weight and my MIL is constantly saying things, cooking things to set me back. Her and I were the same size and we have both tried throughout the years to battle the bulge. She has been successful at times but eventually gained it back and when she lost the weight I was very supportive. But, this time when I have lost the 15 lbs. I gave her some clothes that I "under-grew" that were practically brand new, that I knew would fit her, and she told me to hang on to them in case I might need them. She can't seem to be happy for me that I am losing weight, and tries to pull me back or hang on to me to stay the same size as her. Her side of the family REALLY stresses thin and even though most of them are overweight they will make a hugh ordeal if you start losing weight and looking good. I don't think my MIL likes that I am getting attention and she's not. Does anyone else have this going on? How do you cope with it? I try to brush it off, but deep down it does bother me and to talk to her about it is a complete no-no, she'll deny that she does it. I don't think she does it consciously. She told me the other day I don't need to lose anymore weight. She sent over a HUGH bag of Halloween candy, cookies and other junk food. Right now I am in a rut and I want to lose about 15 more lbs because 1) I WANT TO 2) to rub it in her face. Is that wrong to? At any rate, if anyone else is going through this I'd appreciate any feed back, or just any opinion even if you're not in the same situation. It is just frustrating!

[nursietobe33]

Girl use it, use it to your advantage. I am sorry but seriously, use this womans selfish jealousy to help you lose the weight. Stuff like that pushes me for some strange psychotic reason.

I have had people in town now that will not even acknowlege the fact that they haven't seen me in 6 months and I am almost 50 pounds lighter. There are a ton of wenches in this town, who all think their poo don't stink, so when they see someone else doing what they thought they only could do, it pisses them off and the jealous wings come out.

It makes me sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo happy to see people like that quiver.

Now your mother in law is a different issue, she is seeing you do what she wants to be doing. Let it lie and understand she is trying to work through it. Ya know, maybe you could hint around that you want to start walking and need a walking buddy, if you can get her started she may feel better about herself and not make you feel so bad for doing good for your ownself.

Got to treat those Moms in laws with kid gloves.

You are doing awesome keep it up.

[nursietobe33]

Oh and did I mention how much I like to see these bitties squirm.

Considering the fact that every body is sleeping with everybody in this town, I think they may be afraid they have some new competition in this town. But what they don't know is, Cris is totally happy in her marriage and although I am enjoying the fact that they have steam coming out their ears when I walk by them or their hubbies take a second look. I would never do anything to hurt my marriage. Sheesh, even Jeff has noticed how they have responded to me. I don't do clicks and this town is full of them.

Women can be so stinkin catty. What I say is Kiss my Bootie (what little there is left of it) HAHAHAHAAHAHA.

Oh Lord, I think I need to see a shrink or something.

[bigbonedgirl]

Hey nursie,
First, congrats on your degree! Last time I was on the board you were still in school! Way to go! Second WAY TO KICK SOME YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN on losing that weight you look fabulous! Did you get those recipes? I will try some tenderness with the MIL. It just drives me bananas that she expects everyone to be so dang happy for her and she can't say way to go for me.

[gemmyrose]

Next time she come over, give her the candy bag back and say 'I don't eat sweets anymore, but thanks anyway. I know you wouldn't want it to go to waste so I bagged it back up for you.'
And as for the clothes, when she says you might want them back tell her 'No that's okay. I bought replacements in a size that fits. I don't need to keep them'
Then thank her so much for her support in your diet, and go on about how happy you are now. Nothing like heaping hot coals on her head to make her be nice!
When ever she offers you something on the no-no list, just refuse by saying 'Nope, still dieting! Can't ruin my track record!'
Good luck,hun,and keep up the good work!

[nursietobe33]

ROFLOL

[KathyinPhilly]

See, I like the kindness thing too ... I would pack that Halloween candy up and the next time you guys are out, stop by the post office and send them to V's friend. PM her and she'll give you the address. They could use the Halloween candy for her family that was displaced by Katrina. Tell your mother-in-law that you signed her name to the card --- that will make her feel good (or bad) but either way, it will show her that her daughter-in-law's body is getting smaller but her heart is still HUGE!

[KathyinPhilly]

Oh, and they're looking for clothes too.

[cacha]

BBG, No, it is NOT awful to use your anger as fuel to your weight loss fire.
I agree entirely with NTB33, use it to your advantage.

Don't tell me none of you have watched TV while you exercised and said to yourselves: I am WAY prettier than that girl _ENTER CHOICE HERE_(on that Commercial, on TV show, in that movie, Paris Hilton).

Congratulations on the weight loss, don't let MIL get in the way of that. While I have to agree with NTB33 that you SHOULD handle them with kidgloves, and with Gemmyrose and KP that killing them with kindness is the way to go, I have to admit that dealing with the MIL who is SOOOO focused on appearance and isn't above getting jealous of her son's wife is difficult, to say the least.

[angelwithaniq]

bigbonedgirl -
Wow, I feel ya! My Mother is like that. It is very hurtful. We have twenty years between us and when I was single she would compete with me when we went out. So irritating!!! She always dates men that are younger than my husband, and has to tell everyone about it. (Granted my husband is 13 years older than me) But the fact she has to make it such an issue is so irritating.
In the past when I lost all my weight, she would tell me I look too skinny, that I need to stop. Now that I had a child and the weight left then came back ... I think she is thrilled. (It is so sad to say that about your own mother) She had me at 19, I had mine at 33 - big difference on how the body reacts. Anyways ... I kill her with kindness... I believe it is the best revenge. I have not told her that I started phen - I figure that I will just shock her the next time we see each other. I just wanted to say - vent away girl .... Try to kill her with kindness - it's so fun to just watch them steam because they can't get your goat! LOL ... Good Luck - Angelique

[missus]

gemmy. Too funny girl.

Nursie, girl, you know how to talk trash, good too.

But, bbg, they gave you some great advice. Just shrug it off and keep on doing what you do best, losing weight and looking good girl.

Hey everybody.

Missus

[Babygurlzallthat]

Bigbonedgirl Im reading your post and Im sitting here wondering if you are me, posting under another name!! lol I swear we sound SOOOOOO similiar. My MIL is cookin ribs and potatoes salad and corn bread and mac n cheese and cakes and pies and chick n dumpling gurl I think she is on a mission to make me GAIN WEIGHT!!

Were talkin meals like that EVERYDAY twice as big and bad on the weekends when we go down to her house. My MIL has never once congrads me, or even aknowledged that I have lost 30 lbs. My grandmother, BLESS HER SOUL, tells EVERYONE they look like they have lost weight. I seriously am gonna have a stinkin COW if she tells my 400+ and GAINING aunt ONE MORE TIME that she looks like she has lost weight when she has a darn Big Mac in her mouth! Then when I visit my grandmother, AS ALWAYS, tells me I look like I have lost weight. It would MEAN so much more if she didnt ABUSE the stinkin phrase ya know??

THEN THERE IS MY MOTHER! LORDY LORDY! This woman and her, "Kim, you arent fat!" and "But you have a pretty FACE" If I had a penny for everytime I heard that crap I could afford to have the fat ****ed from my body until I weighed 80 lbs!!

When people say "You have such a pretty face" that just makes me mad. So you are saying I have an ugly body or that my face is pretty COMPARED to my body lololol HAHA I cannot take it anymore Im gonna CRACK the next time I hear "Honey, you arent fat you are big boneded" or "You carry your weight well" Yea as opposed to carring it where??

lolol

Do not let anger fuel your goals because it can only lead to failure, disappointment and fallbacks. Stay POSITIVE and say to yourself "I can do this, I AM doing this, and I am going to continue to do this FOR ME"

As far as the cloths and candy! Do what I do, when my family trys to force fatty foods down my throat etc I get back at them by MAKING SURE I do not eat them, trying my hardest, losing MORE weight and SHOWING them you are NOT going to fail. I have been told time and time again that they cannot believe I am STILL hanging with it. That they expected me to give up by now. To show them I make sure that I DO NOT GIVE UP but I use something positive to focus on. My children, health, and that tiny little bikini I want to wear NEXT summer!!!


KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK GURL!

PS. Are you currently taking any antidepressant meds?? I went off mine for 9 months thinking they would help me lose the weight I gained while on them and its been an uphill battle ever since. I just RECENTLY started back and I am having SOOOO many bad side effects. I was wondering if you are on anything that helps but doesnt cause weight gain and negative side effects??

[mimifromtn]

Well, my MIL went on phen over ayear ago and took alot of other meds with it, she lost weight and looked really good, I told her so all the time. She never told anyone she was on phen and all the other meds with it until she ended up in the hospital, she was a heart patient with high blood pressure and was major dosing on everything. The doc said"no more". She has gained alot of the weight back, she has no willpower and always looks for the easy way, refuses to excercise or eat right withour meds to do it for her. Anyway, she keeps bringing over cakes, pies and crap like that knowing what I am doing. She says she just loves to cook them but doesn't want to eat them herself so brings them to us instead. She also brought me over her outgrown clothes that were bigger than any I ever wore much less now. I am smaller than her now yet she declares that her "old" clothes should fit me. I take them, thank her and then load them up to goodwill. As far as the desserts go, I put them in the freezer and save them for the holidays, less cooking for me, and yummys for everyone. I don't get it either, I quit trying. I just don't let it get under my skin anymore.Too much effort, and I've got more important things to ponder.

Mimi

[Babygurlzallthat]

mimifromtn you are a very wise and smart woman! I wish I had that kind of willpower to kindly THANK someone without meanmuggin!

GREAT advice and next time that I think about saying something very smart ***ed but witty, I will think of you and TRY to thank them and go on with my day!


Kim