[rene76]

I HAVE TO WONDER IF I'M NOT IN THIS BOAT ALONE~
I HAVE AN EXTREMLY GOOD FRIEND WHO I WAS INVOLVED WITH AT ONE TIME~ AT ONE TIME HE WAS A PERSONAL TRAINER AND AN EX MARINE~ SO I DISCUSS WITH HIM MY WEIGHT ISSUES CONSTANTLY~ LOL~ ANYHOW~
LAST NIGHT WE WERE TALKING AND HE WAS TELLING ME THAT WHEN I WALK INTO A ROOM PEOPLE NOTICE ME~ FIRST BECAUSE OF MY HEIGHT AND THEN BECAUSE OF MY WEIGHT. HE SAID~ "HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED THE WAY PEOPLE STARE AT YOU IN A STORE"?? I HAD TO ADMITT THAT LATELY I HAD~ HE SAYS~ "THEY ARE THINKING TO THEMSELVES~ WHAT A PRETTY GIRL~ BUT WHAT A WASTE~ SHE'S TO PRETTY TO BE FAT" ~ AT FIRST IT HURT MY FEELINGS BUT THE MORE I THOUGHT ABOUT IT AND THE MORE WE TALKED ABOUT IT~ I KNEW HE WAS RIGHT. HE FOREVER TELLS ME HOW HOT I ONCE WAS~ AND HOW I COULD HAVE THE KILLER BODY THAT I USE TO~ HOW I COULD MAKE HEADS TURN AND MAKE MEN THINK ABOUT ME INSTEAD OF THEIR WIVES~ WHICH I MUST ADMITT~ IS NICE TO KNOW~ LOL!!
I JUST DON'T KNOW HOW TO TURN THE WANTING TO BE THAT AGAIN~ INTO BEING 'IT' AGAIN!!!
AM I ALONE HERE???
~RENE'

[jbaby]

no, you aren't alone, but nothing pis ses me off more than the "you'd be so pretty if..."

i hate that. i heard it my whole life.

you ARE pretty.

if you want to be HEALTHY, lose the weight.

[V-]

hmmm- well, I have mixed emotions about this guy saying this to you but since that is not the question ........

I really feel like for me to get it in gear as far as weighloss goes, I need to have everything in order so to speak. If there is any other part of my life that is experiencing some sort of drama,stress,change....forget it....I fall of the wagon.
I think people that notice you when you walk into a room notice your confidence, the way you carry yourself...etc....so I really cannot agree with the whole "they look at your pretty face and think...." part.
I really started to get rid of this weight when I started becoming a little selfish....healthy selfishness is what I like to call it. MAKE YOURSELF happy first, take care of yourself first....when you are ready to do it you will be able to.For some reason it is so hard for mothers/wives and women in general to do that. We are always trying to do too much in too little time. So, start really asking yourself....what do I want?

Do you think that was his version of a nice way for him to tell you that's what he would like you to be?? you know maybe an untactful guys way of encouraging you or something?

Either way....do what you want to do when you want to do it....and always make sure you are happy!

[kittie]

i can totally relate. not only with the weight issue but keeping myself up i guess you could say. my mom once told me, "if you combed your hair you would really look alot better. you need to get your weight in check before you get any older because it won't come off like you want later on." i know she was only trying to help but at the time i didn't want to hear it. i went through pp depression twice. actually i think i never got over it the first time and just added to it with my second son. i never understood how i could want something so bad but not have the will to make it happen. i'm really working on it though. it seems every other week, i am giving up or screwing up. the important thing is that i keep trying and get back on track and do what i gotta do to succeed for ME.

[aLLiSOn714]

Oh you guys I can totally relate! I always got the "you have such a pretty face but" line. My mom is always scared of the health problems that weight brings. She's 50, and about 125lbs, but she has really bad heart problems...although, she's never been overweight a day in her life. Her version of "overweight" was about 5-10lbs. I wish I shared her view. We got in a huge argument one day about my weight and she said, "just because you have a pretty face, doesn't mean you can let everything else go and be as heavy as you want"...let me tell you I was so upset by that. Then she said "everyone has to work at it to stay where they want to be, but you chose to not do that....you just act like you don't care, and that's how you got where you are with your weight". Well, I do, but then it's like the more you think about it, the more upsetting it is, then (in my case) food was my comfort, so then more weight gain. Endless vicious cycle. Do I want to be thinner? of course! Have I been trying to? Occasionally. It's not that I don't want it....it's just that I've gone so long without paying *too* much attention and now I don't remember how to get my behind in gear to get it back. I slip all the time, when I wish I wouldn't. Everything around me always effects my weightloss and it throws me for a loop when I'm really trying to be good. So believe me rene, I can totally relate to that! We just have to remember to not be so hard on ourselves when we fall off the wagon, but to also pick ourselves up when we do. We will get there...whether it be soon, or over a period of time. It's just one of those annoying things that nags you and nags you and eventually you will have your *moment* when you realize that you want this and nothing will stop you from attaining it. I am still trying to reach for that moment, but everyday I feel it getting closer.

[jennklb]

You mean people really are staring at me???? I thought I was just being paranoid!!!!! My hubby is always showing me pictures of myself prekids and although at first it hurt my feelings, I thought to myself...he deserves his "hot wife" back

[jwgmommy]

WOW!!! First off congrats to all of your big losses!!! That's great! rene, sounds to me this guy wants to date you again but he can only date you if your thinner... that's rediculous, it kind of pisses me off, you are a human being, you have a heart,soul, and feelings. There are so many other beautiful things about you and a woman that no one sees first because how we look it more important.. And I really give you all a lot of credit actually putting up with these comments and pictures thrown at you.. Where does a person get off eithor nicely saying or just saying at all something about someone they love, their "weight situation" I could not deal with my husband showing me pictures of a thinner me or a ex boyfriend telling me stuff like that.. that is so disrespectful to you ladies... I'm sure these men havn't put a pound or so on since they met you eithor... no disrespect to you ladies or your husbands/family members.. you do this for you and no one else!

[jennklb]

I agree that you have to do it for yourself 100%. Now that being said, I also think you should take care of your body for your whole family. Health reasons are obvious but in my opinion it's not fair to my husband to look like a totally different person than he married. People put on weight when they get married or have babies or just get older, but I gained 80lbs in 5 years! I know that what is on the inside counts the most, no doubt about that, I'm the same person. But I also feel a sense of obligation to him to look and feel better.

[Babygurlzallthat]

I too get the "You have such a pretty face" line. Especially from my THIN family members. Im say to them so my face is pretty, what about the rest of me? LOL That gets them everytime!

I am constantly being reminded of my pre-thin body. My grandmother keeps pictures of all her grandchildren and great grandchildren on her fridge and the picture she has of me was at 19, and 140 lbs. I have offered to give her a recent 25 and 200+ lbs and she has refused the offer by saying you were so pretty back then! Im like HELLO GRANNY am I so ugly now lol?

I am doing really good with my weight loss but it is hard to go through SO much being fat. Do any of you have that family member that ALWAYS tells EVERYONE who are overweight that they look like they have lost weight? lol Well My other grandmother does. EVERYTIME I see her she tells me I look like I have lost weight. She tells this to my 300+ lbs aunt who has only gotten LARGER over the last year the same thing. She thinks that all fat people need the compliment that they have lost weight regardless of wether they have or not!


I have stayed away from her house for the last 2 weeks since I have started phen. I have went from 278 to 251 in exactly 12 days! I feel GREAT and feel thinner! Im waiting until I get down to 200 before I make the long trip to my grandmothers to see if she will say I look like I have lost weight or to see if her jaw will drop, and dentures when I really have lost weight!

Im doing this first and foremost for me, myself and I! I need to be healthy for myself and for my 3 children so they have a mother in the future. I need this for myself so I can run and play and do things mother do with their kids.

I am also happy to be giving my husband his much thinner, pretty wife back. I couldnt have asked for more of a supportive person that him. He has loved me thin and fat and hopeully thin again. He doesnt think I have to change a thing but he didnt marry this fat person and the woman he did marry is hidden deep down inside of this other woman. She ate his wife and he needs her back!

I put on 150 lbs in a year and half and I plan on taking 20 lbs off every MONTH until I find myself again! I dont want to be thin as I was before because to me healthy and happy dont necessarily mean anorexic looking or boney! I want to be a thick nice curvy woman that looks good and feels good. At 5 foot 9 I look good at 180 lbs Im not too big nor too little so that is my first goal. I would like to get down to 150 eventually but if not Ill be just fine with 180!

I would have told my friend, if put in the same situation, that I appreciate him being concerned but that you are aware that you are at an unhealthy weight but that you are doing this for YOU and not for anyone else. Everyone is beautiful in their own way and you are a beautiful person, if not to him, to the rest of the world. Who gives a crap if people stare at us. If they would walk a mile in our shoes I think they would feel alittle differently. You keep your head up because you ARE beautiful no buts, if's and or's about it!

[shirleyb]

Maybe he thinks he is being cruel to be kind, but sometimes that doesn't work. The reverse can happen.
1. Do it for yourself. Thats one of the biggest things I have learnt. If you don't the rollercoaster will start all over again.
I have been overweight all my life.
The first comments like many were :you would be so pretty if you lost that excess weight"
Which made me "I Think" put more on.
Then it was can't you be like your sisters?
It wasn't until now that I am 40+ that I have decided that I am going to take control, bit sad hey at my age, but anyway thats whats doing it for me. My husband has also been on phen and we have been doing it together which is good. So the whole houses eating habits have changed to healthier eating.
Good Luck on your weight loss...

[rene76]

shewwwww~ i am so glad i'm not in this alone! i was worried!
i know that he cares about me~ and i know he tells me these things to try and motivate me~ but sometimes~ AUGH!!!
i also agree that my husband deserves to have the 'old' me back. it's only fair. i know that they say that it shouldn't matter~ but ~ it does~ hell~ why not? i wanna hard body ~ so should he!!!!
~rene'

[Skydreama]

Yep I get it too. My boyfriend tells me that I can get back to "barbie" if I work hard on my body and that I could crush guys if I got back in shape... its encouraging and also hurtful. I just try to think of it as constructive words instead of negative words.

Good luck on your journey

[Determined1-- derland here I come]

I'd rather be fat and pretty than skinny and ugly any day.
Our society is too focused on looks anyways, those unrealistic airbrushed pictures of models in magazines are unfair competition to the real women. Rene you are beautiful, don't allow this statement from him to discourage you. Folks don't realize that when they degrade you they make it harder for you.
I take all the negative energies and vibes from all my "fans" and it encourages me to pump harder.