How long is long enough to realize you're in love?

[Babygurl]

I don't even know what to say or think here. I wasn't going say anything at all.

However, I can see both sides of this "conversation," I have been through A LOT, but I chose not to air out my dirty laundry here.

I use to be the type of person that looked for acceptance, that strived to be the person that EVERYONE would like, I was also very needy..etc

Years have past, lessons have been learned, and now I don't give a crap what anyone thinks about me. Years of defending myself, explaining myself, got me nowhere, because even when I knew I was right, everyone still thought I was wrong.

Here is my thoughts on this, and Becky it is just MY opinion, so hun you can take it or leave it, because no matter what.. I am not here to judge anyone, that isn't my place.

Stop trying so hard to be accepted, and stop defending yourself. If you can live with yourself, and KNOW that you're not doing anything wrong, bad or harmful, then that is all that matters.

Love your children, and put them above anything/anyone else. Men will come and men will go, but you will always have your babies, "If God willing." I think you are a great mother, you haven't abused, abandoned them...etc, but always make them feel loved, appreciated and the MOST important thing in your life.

I am not saying that you can't have a life of your own, because you NEED that, we all do. Just keep your dating life and your family life separate for the time being. When things progress, and the timing is right, then slowly combine the two.

Now, Becky never came on here and said, "Please tell me if you think I am a bad mother,tell me how YOU think I should live my life, and how YOU think I should act as a mother?" When a person asks for advice, then give advice on that subject.

I know it is sometimes hard to do, but when it comes to a person's children, that is a very TOUCHY subject. We are all different and we all raise our children different. I have read posts on here before about people and their children, some I did not agree with, however.. I am not going tell someone how to raise their children, or how they should act as a parent. I don't feed their kids, buy their clothes, or walk in that parents shoes. So, who am I to judge?

Now, if someone came on here and stated that they beat their children, or anything close to that, then I would go further than just giving my opinion.

I hope everyone can put their difference behind them, be here for each other, and forgive/forget.

[RoxanneRoxanne]

[madkins1222]

too cute Rox...



This is more like it...


[ July 07, 2004, 05:49 PM: Message edited by: madkins1222 ]

[tiredmom]

Good Lord.

[EBONY POETESS]

SLOW I JUST WANT TO TELL YOU THAT EVEN THOUGH WE SPAT ABIT IT WAS GOOD TALKING TO YOU AND IT DONT MATTER WHERE YOU MET YOUR SOULMATE THE FACT IS YOU FOUND HIM AND IS PRICELESS

EMMA DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN YOU FIRST STATED YOUR CHOICE IN RELIGION? REMEMBER I ALSO PMED YOU NOT TO CRITICISE BUT TO GAIN KNOWLEDGE OF YOUR CHOICE AND NOT ONCE DID I INSULT YOU UNTIL TODAY
I USED THAT AS A WEAPON WHEN I SHOULDN'T HAVE
AND AGAIN FOR THAT I AM SORRY

AND MADKINS YOU'RE RIGHT I DONT HAVE A HUSBAND AND YOU DO
THROUGH THE STORMS OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR MOTHER GOD HEARD YOU AND BLESSED YOU WITH AN ANGEL CALLED HUSBAND
I TOO HAVE BEEN MARRIED BEFORE BUT UNFORTUNATELY IT DIDN'T WORK OUT
AND YOU ARE RIGHT I AM VERY LONELY
I GET SO LONELY SOMETIMES I WISH THE DAYS WOULD HURRY UP AND PASS SO I CAN HOPE FOR A BETTER TOMORROW
AND WHEN GOD KNOWS I'M READY HE'LL SEND ME ONE
I HAVE ALWAYS DONE EVRYTHING I COULD TO TRY TO HAVE SOMEONE DESCENT AND STABLE IN MY LIFE
BUT I GUESS MY BEST WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH
OR MAYBE I JUST CANT GET IT RIGHT
BUT I DO HAVE MY BABY GIRL AND IF I DIDN'T HAVE HER I MIGHT NOT HAVE LASTED THIS LONG

[califmtbguy]

HEY FIT!!!
I'm going to share with you one of my favorite sayings....

"Some of the happiest people I know are single..."

I think we're the lucky ones. LOL

[Blippo]

"Some of the happiest people I know are single..."

Amen, Cali. Some seek marriage. I seek to avoid it.

{oh no, I'm in for it now when the married ones read this }

[jbaby]

nah, blippo. here's one a good friend told me:
"'tis better to be alone than to wish you were"

[Blippo]

good one jbaby!

[Eva got-a-big-ole-butt]

"first time's for love . . .
next time's for money!"

That's what my Grandmother told me after my Grandfather died!

She was only kidding - she never remarried. I just like the saying!

[G u m b y]

lol I left this morning at 7am with 2 pages to this topic. I came home just now and there are 5 freakin pages! It doesn't even make sense!


I'm the 20 year old. I'm supposed to be the one with all the drama. NOT YOU GUYS TOO!!!



Forgive and forget. move on. Next topic!

[FocusedOnFitness]

Fit, I do remember when you PMed me. This is why I was kind of taken aback when you said I didn't believe in God. It's over for me. Everyone here, including myself, has stepped out of line, posted something hurtful (whether they knew it or not), and that's just par for the course. There will always be conflict, but resolution will also follow.

And Cali, I believe the world was meant to be peopled and marriage is the best of the coupling. There is nothing better than knowing you have someone to count on and who counts on you as well. Just my perception of the truth, however.

[ck]

Lighter looking at sig. great plan and good execution

As to original question i don't know, Does anyone ever know on such a question?

[runs with scissors]

Emma, I don't know for certain, but I think you're taking Darrin's comment the wrong way. I don't think he's anti-marriage. Everyone wants to have that one person they can always count on like you do, but the reality is that sometimes it takes time to find that person. Filling that time with crappy relationships won't make life easier. I know I'd rather be single, than ever be back with my ex or anyone remotely like him. Stepping out of that relationship and being single again made me very happy. Then again, I still want everlasting love and marriage. I'm sure that would make me even happier. Who knows? I can only speculate at this point.

[FocusedOnFitness]

Originally posted by porcelainpoet:
Emma, I don't know for certain, but I think you're taking Darrin's comment the wrong way. I don't think he's anti-marriage. Everyone wants to have that one person they can always count on like you do, but the reality is that sometimes it takes time to find that person. Filling that time with crappy relationships won't make life easier. I know I'd rather be single, than ever be back with my ex or anyone remotely like him. Stepping out of that relationship and being single again made me very happy. Then again, I still want everlasting love and marriage. I'm sure that would make me even happier. Who knows? I can only speculate at this point.

Aaaah, is that what Darrin meant? Well, I completely agree. I am all for women finding out who they are before they try and figure out a man. This is one of the reasons I am against marrying young. I did it. I don't recommend it. Trying to find yourself while caring for another person full-time is just hard hard work.

I know if anything ever happened to hubby, I wouldn't remarry (at least right now) because I do like my alone hermit time.

[EBONY POETESS]

AMEN TO THAT CHIT CALI AND EMMA
HELL I'M STILL LEARNING ME AND TRYING TO DATE
OOOOH WHY ARE MEN SO NEEDY
CHIT! WHAT HAPPENED! I GUESS NOW WE WEAR BOXERS AND THEY WEAR THE THONGS OH WAIT CALI MIGHT LIKE THAT

[mmmmdale_jr]

Oh my God I am pissed off because I just spent an hour of my life reading all this chit to see what was going on and SOMEONE OWES ME A DAMN HOUR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Eva got-a-big-ole-butt]

I think the next time I come across a heated-controverial thread I will simply do squats as I read - that way I feel like I did something productive.

<<<nodding my head>>>