[FocusedOnFitness]

of people here bickering over their ways of living, exercising, and eating! I do like posts, which share a bit of information with the group, but I am not naive. Atkins people will put up only positive posts about Atkins and calorie counters will do the same with their way of life. This is just a fact and it make sense. You feel good about your way of life, you want others to share in it and believe.

I think the number one thing that ticks me off about this place are people really believing they are less of a woman or man because they weigh more than others. I personally don't look for heroes here who have lost weight. I look for people who motivate me ... plain and simple.

Who told you being thin meant being happy? Who told you just because you lost weight you were beautiful? I've seen a lot of (and strictly only in my opinion) ugly gals out there singing their praises because they think they're drop dead gorgeous because they lost weight and a lot of woman with meat on their bones who have left me speechless. So, your shell is heavy or thin, how's your insides???

Well, my personal belief is if you are disgusted with yourself and your body, how the heck do you intend on sticking to anything? You'll ebb and flow like the ocean because you don't have the core belief that YOU ARE SPECIAL AND IMPORTANT. I am the most inconsistent woman I know and I truly do like myself REGARDLESS of measurements! So, the battle to be fit is hard enough without the BS belief that being fat equals being a failure.

Being heavy is NOT being a failure. I know 200 pound marathon runners who run 10-12 miles a DAY and MORE 4x a week. They run faster than I could in my prime. These women don't look at themselves as disgusting or obese, but as athletes and that's exactly what they are.

If you wait to sing your praises until you reach a certain size or number, you may never sing. And if you DO reach it and gain it all back, what then? You're not worthy of tune anymore? I don't think so.

What size was Mother Theresa's waist? How about Eleanor Roosevelt? Oh, wait, I know ... what about any of the Bronte sisters? Louisa May Alcott? Harriet Tubman? Does anyone know or care? These women put substance and character before being known for what they weigh. Big difference between them and say, Pamela Sue Anderson or Anna Nicole Smith.

We're all different here. We all have goals we want to achieve in this life and we'll all go about it differently. I just wish some of you would realize you have a lot more going on than if you like carbohydrates or not. You are fighting a genetic code in your body that is telling you your body it is SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE IT IS because, let's face it ... your husband is probably skinny and eating twice as much as you, right? Or your best friend can eat Big Macs and not gain an ounce. This is their genetic make up. They're not fighting a gene, which tells them even a mere 1,500 calories a day could pack on the pounds. You are! And guess what, the older you are, the harder this is to fight.

Stop feeling ashamed about this. If you're trying to take care of yourself, love yourself, work out, and eat right a majority of the time (whatever this means to you) ... even if you haven't lost an ounce, would you at least take the time to pat yourself on the back!?!

Heck, it would read a lot better than all this d*mned bickering over absolutely nothing!

And I get a little tired of the women who have lost weight here acting like they just invented the cure for cancer. Big d*mned deal. I did it 5x and someday will do it again. I won't be a different woman because of it.

We all are phenomenal and have the right to strut.

You can post whatever you want in reply or pass this by all together. I'll just stick to the Challenge board anyway.

[kenswoobie]

Are you my twin? - You've made some very nice positive comments. Thank you for your post.
Jae
p.s. ...but don't be angry, we all have the power to bypass a post or answer to it. I bypass so many that most of the time I don't remember who said something to tick me off .

[*Becky*]

Emma, wow, how very true!!!! I'll have to check out the challenge board - never have yet. I agree, just because you've lost a bunch of weight doesn't put you one up on anyone in knowledge, respectableness or whatever. I have to work on being happy with myself regardless of how much I weigh, but it's so hard in America where weight is part of your status. It's kind of like - if you have the genes to be thin, then you're 'show quality', if not you're just a mut. Thanks for the inspiration.
-Becky

[Stayingstrong]

Originally posted by Emma
And I get a little tired of the women who have lost weight here acting like they just invented the cure for cancer. Big d*mned deal. I did it 5x and someday will do it again. I won't be a different woman because of it.

I posted the article not to offend anyone just to share some info I felt was useful. I had no intentions to hurt anyones feelings. I only post stuff that I feel might help someone and someone else may get something useful from it and As I recall I have never recieved such negative comments about my posts before.I feel the above quote was directed at me and in my defense I am a different woman from it and I am not acting as if I am finding a cure for cancer but I know how I felt 35+ pounds ago. I can remember when I first came here last year I was looking for any information that I can and I would read posts like these or some of the members would answer my questions I had and it has brought me so far. I am just repaying a favor to someone else who might be in the shoes I was in last year. Gosh I just thought I was helping out, Tammy edited to add that I am not the one who posts a post to just b i t c h about what others are saying or posting about. I agree you should feel good about yourself at any weight but to be honest it is so hard to do in todays society. I am not saying that it is right but why are we all here in the first place....for support and motivation and I didn't think that the women who lost weight were suddenly banned or shouldn't try to pass on useful information here or offer words of encouragement. Hmmmm...well I wonder if this is why so many of the older phensters do not come around anymore

[ February 01, 2004, 02:59 PM: Message edited by: tlgreene18 ]

[katyakat]

Emma

Kudos to your post! You are so very right! Everyone should learn to love themselves a little more, no matter what their size. I am all for being healthy and taking care of oneself, but you are right that one's true self is not defined by being thin or heavy. In that respect, I think we all need a reminder to be a little kinder and forgiving to ourselves! (me included!).

As for people posting their philosophies and recommendations about weight loss and fitness, well I am sure it is done so in the spirit of goodwill and encouragement. I don't know that anybody considers themselves the resident expert, but you are right that just because someone loses weight does not make them the guru on the subject. I am pretty sure everyone here realizes that no one here (to my knowledge) is a registered dietician or certified personal trainer. I myself have read posts that I did not agree with and thought were flat out wrong with regards to fitness, etc. , but I recognize that this is a forum for everyone to post at their own will. For the most part, I think people just want to share their excitement when they have lost, but perhaps it comes across a little pedantic to some.

Anyway, I think you had a lot of relevant things to say, and I am intrigued! So if you don’t mind, I am going to check out the challenge board you talked about!

-kat

[Heaven Sent]

You know what Im sick of. all the negitive BS going on around here. I should probably keep my mouth shut but Im not going to because just like all of you I have a right to say what Im going to say if you like it fine if not fine, I really dont care...
Im sick of when someone posts something out of thoughtfulness then that person gets slammed because you think she is 'saying one weight loss program is right or one program is wrong. ' I dont think that is what she said at all...she was just adding a side of the story. If it works for you then great..if not then find something else.
I cant stand when people assume something..which has been going on alot these days.
I dont see this one person giving any advice that she herself hasnt used. She is just trying to help others. If you dont like her advice then move on. No one is asking you to take it.
I dont hate myself for being overweight. I dont hate anyone else for having success in losing weight. I myself will be there sooner then later. I would have given anything to have the advice that some people give yet get so upset when people get slammed for giving the advice.
No one is condeming you for doing the atkins, south beach, see food, what ever the diet plan you are on program etc... If it works for you cool if not find something else. It doesnt work for everyone and if it did we'd all be skinny...
I could post something negitive about the low cal diet and the low fat diet not working as I have seen some do and not get attacked.
Its time to get over with it and get on with why we are here to begin with.
So one person vented her thoughts, so one person put a signature line that they thought was funny. Then someone posted something they thought was helpful. What do you all do... make them feel about as small as if they were a child being scolded. I dont know about the rest of you, but thats not what I need while Im trying my hardest, working my butt of trying to lose weight.
Get over it.

Once again, if you dont like what I had to say, feel free to use the little back button and move on to another post.

[katyakat]

YIKES! This is out of control!! HELLO--ITS A PUBLIC POSTING BOARD! I am outta here!

[kenswoobie]

TLGREENE, I may be wrong but I didn't think that Emma's post had to do with your post. Again, I'm not sure but that's not what I got out of it. Also I don't believe or feel that those who have reached their goals are not welcomed or appreciated. I feel that the members who have reached or are near goal are those that bring the realism to this forum that weight loss can be achieved in many different ways. I would have liked to see the positives of Emmas post to get more light, other than what someone didn't like about it. Again, just my opinion and if I'm not in your click it may not be that important. Nevertheless, there's enough love on this forum for everyone.
Jae

[Determined1-- derland here I come]

I enjoy all of the information that I gather on this board. I ask for information and everyone is pleased to share their tips. I have been putting all their tips together with what I already knew and am trying to do this.

I don't think that anyone is trying to say or portray that they know it all I believe they are just sharing what they have learned along the way. If someone asks a question that I feel I have a little insight on, I am pleased to share. Everyone here has helped me immensly (sp?). There is no easy way to do this and everyone's body is different. I don't think that I am less of a person because I weigh a lot, I have always had high self esteem but took a wrong turn at the buffet .

I don't think anyone here comes here for the bickering. Guys it really isn't all that serious - can't we all just get a long?

[candi962]

As a newcomer, I think it is great that everyone post their "beliefs" and diets that they use. I may try one or the other until I find one that works for me. Then I will get excited and want to try it. As far as the women who have lost weight and they feel so excited about it, well...I can't say too much..I may be the same way if I lost 100 pounds. You know..some people are very confident even when they are heavy, which is the best way to be, however, myself on the other hand, I am very insecure with my large body (220), believe me, I wish I had some of your guys confidence but I dont. I also hope no one condemns me for it either. Everyone is different with different ideas, that is why this place is so great!! Keep posting all of your guys ideas and especially those succes stories, they keep me motivated. Thanks!!

[health4life]

I am editing this until I cool off. In no way do I want to come down on Emma. Alot of what u said is true.

But as far as anybody else that dont like what I said. Move your a*z*z on if u dont like it

[ February 01, 2004, 05:27 PM: Message edited by: health4life ]

[FocusedOnFitness]

I just wanted to say, I was NOT talking about Tlgreene's post. I read MANY of her posts because as I said in the beginning of my post, I LIKE reading different hints or helpful articles. She shares a lot of great info on this board and those are the posts I look for.

Even if I'm not currently doing Atkins, I read posts about it ... both for and against. I feel bad when people are actually challenged for a post they believe in.

Just to be clear because Lunachic, you went a little off when it wasn't called for about something I wasn't doing ... I WAS NOT DIRECTING THIS TOWARDS TL'S POST. If it wasn't for Tl, I wouldn't have joined the president's challenge and it got me exercising again!

[FocusedOnFitness]

Oh, and I should've posted this first, but thanks to you gals who posted and knew who how I felt. It made me smile because sometimes I feel like self-love at a larger size is something unheard of in this forum and you proved me wrong! Thank you for posting back to me about it!

[FocusedOnFitness]

Tl, I wasn't posting about your low carb post. In fact, I agreed with a lot, which was written in it. I am not against Atkins at all, but I see how some believe it to be a "I can eat whatever amount I want to lose" until they become informed.

As far as the "old" Phensters not coming around ... I see MANY posts dedicated to them. People put their names up right in Post name and ask where they are and how they're doing.

Many have written they moved on because they simply didn't need daily support anymore. I applaud your weight loss, but I truly don't think it says anything about you as a person. Just as my weight says absolutely nothing about me as a person.