Discourged and Hurt

[Wishing_Thinner04]

I think I should just give this diet thing up. My feelings are really hurt. It's all I can do to keep from crying. I have been on phen since 10/8/04 and to date I have lost a total of 13 pounds. I weigh 150. I ask my husband to guess my weight and he said 165 that's 2 more pounds than my starting weight. I told him what the scales say and he said you mean to tell me I weigh more than you. He is very tall and skinny. I just keep thinking all of these other people can see that I have lost weight and the one that matters the most thinks I haven't. What's the point in even trying. Sorry I just needed to vent.
Wishing_Thinner

[KBmeow]

Dont let him discourage you. You are doing great. Who cares who weighs more. Look Ihave always outweighed my guys. no biggie i know that my guys and I have different builds. you are doing great.

[toosweetphen]

Well I have a few ?'s. what have you been eating? plus you've just started. I've been on it a little longer than you and I felt just the same as you. I've been on it a week longer, and I lost about the same. This last week I lost 7 more. I finally drilled it into my head theat everyone here is right.
1). WATER,WATER,WATER (mind you I hate it, but it works!)

2). excersise

3). you didn't gain weight over night, it takes time.

I enjoy reading everyones post, it helps. I'm allways here to listen too! we all are!

[Wishing_Thinner04]

I totally agree that water,water,water and more water is a must. I just drink the water, exercise and watch what I eat. Thanks for responding.

KBmeow,
Thanks for responding. I tried to tell him that women and men have different builds. He tells me I look good no matter what, but his comment today really hurt my feelings.

Wishing_Thinner

[Miki161]

I am so sorry to hear that wishing. DON'T give up though. You do not sound like a quitter from the type of person you sound like over the pc. I think you are doing wonderful to have lost that much already. Keep your chin up. It will come off!
Miki

[CarolinaGirl]

Wishing you have lost 13 lbs since 10/8? Girl that is wonderful! Sometimes the people we see day in and day out don't notice things. I bet if your hubby didn't see you for a few weeks the weight loss would smack him in the face the next time he saw you. Use the comment he made as motivation to keep on keeping on. Nothing motivates me more than someone who thinks I can't do something. I know that had to hurt your feelings and I'm sorry. Hang in there sweetie because you are doing a great job.

[Wishing_Thinner04]

Thanks Miki and ************,
You are right Miki I'm not a quitter. It's just that I have busted my ***** to get this weight off and I want him to notice.
************ maybe thats it he sees me everyday and its hard for him to tell. I won't give up. I will get to my goal and lose that 20 by Christmas Miki. Thanks So Much!!!
Wishing_Thinner

[Miki161]

Wishing-DON'T DO THIS FOR HIM DO THIS FOR YOU!!!
Besides, (being impartial here) he does see you every day. It is very hard for someone to notice when they see you every day compared to every few weeks or so. I'm sure he's not being mean. My husband said it himself, that hes sees me everyday thats why he does not notice as much as others do. Don;t take insult to it.
Miki

[Miki161]

Wishing-DON'T DO THIS FOR HIM DO THIS FOR YOU!!!
Besides, (being impartial here) he does see you every day. It is very hard for someone to notice when they see you every day compared to every few weeks or so. I'm sure he's not being mean. My husband said it himself, that hes sees me everyday thats why he does not notice as much as others do. Don;t take insult to it.
Miki

[*Tangelita29*]

Wishin...I agree with Miki you have to do this for you not someone else that way it stays off and you feel good about it. Don't let the fact that he doesn't notice or care if you lose or not make decisions or choices for you!!

You are doing great keep up the great work and I am sure it will come off and he will notice and if not heck you will know because your clothes will be smaller and you will feel better!!

**Miki girl you are looking great and have lost a good bit in a few months...wanted to tell you congrats** any secrets??

Tangela

[Pretty Lola]

I agree with the others...he probably doesn't notice your weight loss because he sees you every day! I could dye my hair into a purple mohawk and my husband wouldn't notice until the bill from the hair salon came in. And guys really have no clue what we weigh, so I quit making mine try to guess a long time ago because the answer was usually pretty insulting! So don't worry about what he guessed for your weight, none of them are very good at that. Also, don't play the "am I as big as her" game with trying to compare yourself to different people in the crowd, because they're way off on size estimates too! lol

Hey 13 pounds in two weeks is GREAT! Especially where you only need to take off 20...I'm actually surprised you've lost that much that fast. Don't give up!

[Heaven Sent]

Dont let him discourage you. My hubby is the same way. He weighs more then I do now !!!
He sees me everyday and there for doesnt notice as much as someone who only sees me once in awhile.
Dont give up now!!!

[Suth]

Nothing makes me try harder then someone who thinks I can't. It just pisses me off. Like they said those around you don't notice, sad but true.

Yesterday we had a friend stop by and his look was so funny. He asked me what was wrong with me. At first I didn't know what the heck he was talking about till I asked "Huh?" He said your clothes, they are baggy... (the look was so funny) I just burst out laughing and thanked him. He was the first person who DIDN'T know I was on a diet, that noticed. He made my day I tell ya!

[kaydin81]

Let me tell ya something. The people who notice it the least are the people that see you every day. It's hard for us to notice on ourselves until we see before and after pics. I know, we feel the clothes getting loose and stuff. But, it's hard to actually SEE it when we look at it everyday....such as our hubby's. First of all, I would tell your hubby to try and compliment you a little more. Men are AWEFUL about guessing weight. Never let him do that again. Instead, show him your results and tell him how awesome you feel. You are doing great! You know how many of us wish WE were 150. That's awesome and I'm very proud of you!!!!

[Amy T]

Ok, excuse me but F*CK him.

He is obviously completely insensitive and everyother mean horrible thing I can say about dorky testosterone-y evil men.

My husband happens to be so proud of every lb, and he is encouraging. There are other issues if he doesn't know you well enough to have NOT said those things. Maybe he was having a bad day??

Are you short? 150 lbs would make me look like a twig, and I'm 5'6

[Lovetobellydance]

The very best tip I could possibly give you is to NEVER ask a man to guess your weight! It's like those questions, "Is she prettier than me?" or "Does this skirt make my butt look wide?" There is no good answer, there are no winners....men generally begin to bust a sweat when asked such a question!!!
Much better to ask a girlfriend, or better yet, look at yourself in the mirror and think, "Yeah! I look beautiful!!"

[TracyR]

Wishing,
First of all, you are not even overweight at this point. Have you looked at a height/weight chart lately?

I have a strange hunch that this isn't the only time your husband hasn't been supportive of you or put you down. A real man would want to make you feel special, secure, and celebrate your accomplishments every day.

His comments are much more a reflection of him than they are of you!
Tracy

[Amy T]

I like tracy..

She said it better than I did..

[Lilo]

I feel you! This chick at work ALWAYS feels the need to point out that I used to be skinny Anytime I turn down a donut or talk about the gym she'll butt in and say to the whole world....." oh yeah, one year she got reeeeally skinny! She was so pretty."

Ahhhhhhhh guess I'm f-ing fat, ugly pig now???? I've worked with her for almost 4 years now and she's said it at least once a month for the past 3 years! I just want to slap her when she does that!

Another chick said, when I was losing a few pounds a couple months ago b/f my trip to Alaska...."ohhh you're really slimming down in your hips. That's awesome b/c when I first started working here I thought...wow, she's pretty but, she (me) has got some office spread. I think they call it saddle bags. I hope I don't get those b/c I have an office job now!) can you believe that c r a p

What an idiot! she even bought me a beanie baby pig. She said it would help me stop eating candy. AND she said a couple days ago...."oh I found this really cute shirt I wanted to get you, if only you were the same size as me!)

WTF!!!!! I totally just rolled my eyes at her, but, it really hurts me. So, off I went into my skittle binge. I don't know why I get so upset about what she thinks about me. Who the f is she? NOBODY! I guess I would NEVER say sh*t like that to ANYONE...especially to a person I claim to like?!!!

Now the food police are bugging this other chick I work with who's pregnant. "you shouldn't eat this or that, ohhh how much weight have you gained, ohh you're eating AGAIN?" OMFG! AND these to chicks ARE NOTHING to look at! I have more beauty in my right eye than they have in their entire body! BIAtches!

[TracyR]

Lilo,
That stinks. At least those women haven't made a vow before God, family and friends to love and protect you til death do you part.

That is what irks me about poor wishing's situation. Has anyone been watching the Oprah series about emotionally abusive husbands? They slowly erode every element of a woman until she is only a shell.

It is sickening. Wishing deserves better and her husband needs a wake up call! The line that stands out is "you mean to tell me I weight more than you?". That little sentence tells a much bigger story than it's literal content.

Tracy

[EBONY POETESS]

wishing i wish i was 150 pounds and i'm short 5ft2
you lost 13 pounds that means you weigh 137 girl are you crazy thats great! unless your 3ft tall
he knows you are self concious about your weight and he can see you losing it so he is feeling insecure and a little jealous of your determination
you are doing a great job girl and dont you ever forget that
girl 137? chit you'd have to hog tie me down to keep clothes on me

[EBONY POETESS]

and lilo stop talking to them bliatches
you are beautiful girl
the next time she says something like that about your weight ,say girllllll i am so glad i am so pretty and when i get this weight off chit yall aint gone want to talk to me because i'll have everything going on,now excuse me gas face bliatches i have a salad to eat

[Pretty Lola]

ROFL!! Fit, that was the funniest thing I've read in a while! Hey the next time I'm mad at someone, will you come tell them off for me?

Lilo, I don't know WHAT I would do if people I worked with talked to me like that. That is soooo out of line! They obviously have issues.

[catgurl]

Hey, I wish I could lose 13 pounds! Look, husbands aren't always that supportive when you start losing weight. Why? Because you might change. Every time I try to start eating healthy my Husband suddenly decides that he wants to make pancakes for breakfast.

[Wishing_Thinner04]

I just wanted to say thanks for all of the advice, and I know that I have to do this for myself and no one else. I know that he can't tell because he sees me every day. We talked last night about the comments he made and he said he was sorry. He said he loves me no matter what size I am, and I was ALOT heavier when he and I got together. Anyway I just wanted to give you all an update and say thanks again for being there for me to lean on. You all are such great people and I'm glad I can call you my phrends.
Oh, Ebony, I meant I was 163 and lost 13 pounds sorry for sounding like I was 150 and lost 13.
Wishing_Thinner

[jbaby]

men are clueless, and i'm sure he didn't mean to hurt you. he may have thought 165 was a compliment, and did he even know your starting weight? sometimes you have to give them the benefit of the doubt, at least if you want to stay married.

[QueenB2]

Wishing.....Congrats on losing 13 lbs in 19 days!! YOU ROCK GIRL!!! Oh how I wish I could lose 13lbs in that frame of time. It just doesn't work for me. So....be proud of yourself. You're doing great! Keep up the good work!!

[TEXANAMY]

Hey, if it makes you feel any better, you are 4 inches taller than me and I out weigh you by 10lbs!!! Men never know how much we weigh!! I 've learned to never ask my husband a question like that.

[Wishing_Thinner04]

Just wanted to share something with you all. Last night my husband and I were laying in bed and he put his arm around me. We laid there for a few minutes and he started rubbing my stomach, and I'm like what are you doing and he said oh my god your stomach is so small. And I'm like it took you this long to notice and he said what you all have told me, I'm around you all the time so I don't notice a whole lot. He said its like when people tell us the boys are getting so big, but we don't see it. So he again said he was sorry for guessing wrong. But anyway it made me feel good that he FINALLY noticed that I have shrunk some. Again thanks to all of my wonderful phrends for the advice and just listening.
Wishing_Thinner

[EmBee30]

I could dye my hair into a purple mohawk and my husband wouldn't notice until the bill from the hair salon came in.

I love that. That's exactly how my husband is. lol

Wishing, try what I did. Find a "before" pic and take some new ones and compare them. You'll be surprised!

[Wishing_Thinner04]

Maybe I can find some before and after and post them on here and you all can tell me what you think.
Wishing_Thinner

[Dawndownunder.]

Pretty Lola, im glad im not the only one who plays that game, comparing my self to other people around me! lol. When im out shopping i constantly look at womens behinds, thinking "well im about her size and she looks ok" Or "im her size, i hope my tummy isnt poking out like hers!" LOL...people must think im really wierd!

Wishing....your hubby sounds like mine..they mean well but they can be tactless. I had a similar experience to you where my husband didnt really notice any loss til he snuggled up to me in bed and said i felt so different it was like being with another woman! lol