not phen related- I'm having a panic attack!!!

[lil_kydarlin]

Sorry guys! Someone has to talk me down. Does anyone remember when I was trying to decide if I wanted to send the Valentine's card to the guy in Chicago? The one I'm crazy about, the best-uh, you know- I ever had? He called me this morning and said "what would you say if I told you I'm moving back down there?" !!! I didn't say anything-ME, SPEECHLESS (?). I'm excited, but my chest started to tighten up - this really could happen. Why am I so scared? Why can't I ever just let myself be happy? I worry about what "could" happen, and in most cases ruin it- before it has a chance.

[mommy of twins]

calm down!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Take it one day at a time!

Mer

[Keew]

I say good. Let him move back. He's not moving in with you, so you have nothing to worry about.

[lil_kydarlin]

ummmmmm, maybe he is Keew , while he looks for a place of his own (unless we work out and then....who knows)

[lil_kydarlin]

LOL- thanks Mer. By the way, how are you and your guy doing? The one that you met at the club?

[BigD]

Hey girly! Breath!!! Its all going to be ok!!! Do what you think is right/best for you!

[lil_kydarlin]

OHHHHHHH!!!!! He's coming in on Wednesday!!!!!! OHHHH! Here I go again! breathe....breathe...breathe.....

[lil_kydarlin]

And can I just add - I have a "LOVELY" zit next to my nose! Great, haven't seen him in 6 months and he's gonna see me like this!!!!

[mommy of twins]

lol!!! Im sure it will be fine!!

Im not seeing that guy anymore.

In fact.. I know exactly how you feel.

A long while ago I posted about a hott guy.. named Jesse. Hes the one who told me to lose some weight if I wanted a relationship with him long term (not in those words, but basically). WELLLLLLLL....... He went back into rehab because he relapsed. This was about 3 months ago. I got a call from him a month ago and he told me that he was sorry about everything and when he gets back to SA he wants us to be together and get married blah blah blah... and I didnt really think too much of it. Hes been in and out of rehab for 4 years now trying to take his life back. He explained how greatful he was to have me as a friend and how much I mean to him and he wants me & the girls to be a permanent part of his family.

WELL I got a call Friday and hes back. I went to go pick him up from his grandmas house. I spent the entire weekend with him & my girls. He has changed so much. Ohhh yeah BTW, when he saw me, his jaw dropped. And he is sexy as always. Sizzling!!! Anyway, His mom is pretty cool and we went to see her Sunday night. He & his mom confronted me asking me & the girls to move in with them. He wants me to help him stay clean.. just by being there.

Sooo theres my predicament. I would be moving into Mexico basically... (the westside)... where Ill be the ONLY whitie. A 30 minute commute (1 hour in traffic) to work. I have lived on this side of town since I was 5. Sooo,... this will be exciting. Seems like everything is moving so fast. You know, since we're already planning when were having "our" first child and all.. lol.. and Im supposed to be moving in with him after we get back from dallas on Sunday.. and his mom already calls me "daughter"... lol..

Girl... I know how you feel. RELAX!

[lil_kydarlin]

wow! Mer! and I'm not even the one moving! Aren't you scared? I just don't want to be disappointed. It's been a LONG time since I let anybody that close to me. My exhusband tore me a new one. Also, before I knew he was coming back, my friend tricked me into meeting this guy and... I like him- so how do I explain after 2 dates with him, that this guy is moving in with me? And my parents (who live very close by) will have a stroke when they find out I'm letting him move in! I think that's what bothers me the most. They will call me a bad mother for doing this in front of my son and not being married. I want to be happy but I feel like the world's against me.

Anybody have any suggestions on how to get rid of the zit- actually I picked at it (I know, I know)and it's more of a scab now (really pretty, huh?)

[mommy of twins]

Well, how well do you know this guy?? I usually have to know someone pretty well before I let them live in the same dwelling as my children. After all, they are number 1. (and 2)...

Be careful.

As far as the zit goes... Cant help ya. When you find out what works, lemme know

[lil_kydarlin]

ummmmm, Mer, I knew him 2 wks....before he went back tp Chicago and then we talked on the phone a lot for a couple of months and then lost contact for a month and then I sent the Valentine's card and we've been talking on the phone ever since. Technically, we are going to be "living together" he's just gonna stay with me until he gets a job and finds his own place. We aren't making a lifetime commitment or anything, but it's still scary.

[mommy of twins]

yeah a little scary since you don tknow if hes a child molestor or a serial killer!!! Girl at leat do a background check on him!!! You never know these days.

[lil_kydarlin]

I've actually already thought of that. My brother in law is in the law enforcement and I told him that. I told him months ago that I was going to do a background check on him and asked if there was anything I should know. He told me of a few silly things- like when he was a juvy he stole some lumber to make a skate board ramp.... and he was ok with it. My brother in law didn't find anything on him. And he was very good with my son, he really liked him. I do take that part- totally seriously. He's not into drugs and only drinks socially- like me.

[Crystal]

Put toothpaste (NOT the gel type) on your little problem and leave it on overnight.

[lil_kydarlin]

will Sensodyne work? The other I have is gel... I'll give it a try!

[Crystal]

I use Crest, but I'm sure others will work just as good.

[Keew]

Hmmmm off topic, and out of curiosity, that works?!?!

I wonder why.

[QueenDivaBaby]

JUST TAKE DEEP BREATHS,EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE. UNLESS YOU GET A VERY LONG,LONG,LONG HUG AND KISS

[Ms Kitty]

If anyone calls you a bad mommy because you let a guy live with you then they are incredibly narrow minded and very shallow. (Although it's probably misguided love). As far as I'm concerned a good mommy is one who clothes and feeds her kids, giving unconditional love and isthere if her kids need her teaching them right from wrong etc etc. and last time I looked a marriage certificate didn't guarantee that.

Oh I hope everything works out for you and he does turn out to be the one.

Mer - tread very carefully with your guy and don't let yourself be pressured into doing anything. The only way your guy is going to stay on the straight and narrow is if HE can take the responsibility himself instead of passing it onto you. You know it works the same way with weight loss no one else can make you lose the weight and keep it off only you can do it - it's an internal process not an external one. As the only white person you might find yourself isolated if he does slip back. All I'm saying is make sure you have an escape plan and a trigger point for leaving if he does go back onto drugs. There is no way you would want your girls to be exposed to that lifestyle. More importantly you are not responsible for anyone else's life except yours and your kids until they are grown up.

I'm not saying don't go with the dream but be careful in case that's all it is - a dream. I could also just be worried about nothing. Keep us posted on how it goes.

Deb

[smf1734]

lil ky---try windex.... the dad on My Big Fat Greek Wedding swears by it!!! LOL

just kidding and I don't mean to sound like I'm taking your situation lightly, I think it's great that he's moving to your area (of course if it were me, I'd be over-analyzing the situation wondering why he's decided to come back, what's he been doing since he's been gone, etc.) but you just need to follow your heart!! good luck!

[MotherLunsford]

Mer,
This guy has been in and out of rehab for four years and you are contemplating a committed relationship with him? Please, take a long, deep breath, and consider carefully. Addicts (alcohol or otherwise) can be immensely charming, hypnotic and intoxicating partners. But they are still addicts!!! You should not even consider being in the same household with this guy until he has a MINIMUM of a year to eighteen months clean and sober behind him. I was married to an addict [though I did not know it until well after the wedding] for 16 years and it is NOT GOOD for you or your kids to be so intimately involved with someone who is so sick. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE seek some professional counseling before you take any step to alter your life to fit his!!! If this guy is as wonderful as you think he is, it will be well worth the wait to have him healthy and fit and in control of his own life. I have been there. I LOST EVERYTHING because of it (Dufus drove and killed two teenagers and critically injured a third.) my then twelve year old son became suicidal, and it has taken YEARS to even partially recover. I almost lost my son because of it and I will tell you bluntly, THERE IS NO MAN ON THE FACE OF THIS EARTH FOR WHOM IT IS WORTH LOSING YOUR KIDS!!!!!!
Okay, I have had my "Motherly" say. Just thought you might benefit from an experienced point of view. I wish you the best.

[lil_kydarlin]

LOL! SMF my mom said that too! She saw the movie last wknd.

Queen- best I remember- short shallow breaths will have to do

Ms Kitty, thank you for the thoughtful words. I know that I'm a good mother, and I do want to set a good example for my son, but I have to think too-wouldn't it be better for him if I were "happy". I don't love this guy, lust yes, but I just have a feeling it could work into more- or my bubble will be burst- one of the two will probably come of this. He will ask my son for permission to "visit" and I won't let him see us in the bed together, I will "sleep" on the couch. But oh, my parents will definetly have something to say! He is moving back because he loved it here and he has 2 brothers here. He had to go back last time because he couldn't make the money he made there- he's consolidated some bills and wants to try again. His mother will also move down this fall because all her boys will be down here. So he's not moving here "because" of me, I just get the perks!

Thanks guys! By the way, I didn't get to try the toothpaste thing- all I had was gel, but I cleaned my "prob area" with peroxide and then put this stuff I forgot I had, it had clear liquidy stuff in the top and some kind of sulfer (sp) stuff in the bottom, you dip a q-tip into the bottom and put it on the spot - ( whew!it STINKS!) but it's all dried up today!

[Keew]

Um, I have to say Crystal knows her Zit $hit!!

I did it. With Sensodyne because that's what I use, and woolah. The swelling went down and you can barely see it.

Imagine, I only brushed my teeth and fixed windshield cracks with this $hit.

It's a miracle product.

[lil_kydarlin]

LoL Keew! my sensodyne had gel in it, so I couldn't try it. I also heard that you can put Visine on it - to take the red out! It's supposed to shrink the blood vessels, capillaries or something like that- just like in your eyes. I didn't try that either though...

[lil_kydarlin]

oh my, oh my, oh my! It's confirmed he's coming down tomorrow !!!!! I need a paper bag! No - I need a drink! ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

[Redheadedbit]

Take it from someone who couldn't hold a relationship together if my life depended on it (married 3X and single now)...only you know what is right and good for you....best of luck and hang tough!

[Ms Kitty]

How about both

[mommy of twins]

Ill take a beer