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I hesitate to post this here...but who else am I gonna ask that won't think I'm nuts. I promise, if you make it to the end and you have a heart...you'll cry. Just warning you...don't want to bring anyone down.
First...AttorneyMom suggested over in the challenge forum that we consider getting our wills, etc in place. She had good advice...so I took it.
Thing is...I wrote this letter to the people I've asked to take our children should Dan and I go before they're adults.
And, well...they're not gonna see it unless it happens...so I need some advice. They've already agreed...this is just an okay if it happens this is what we want kind of deal. So...read it like you are them. Tell me if any of it sounds too dramatic or stupid or anything. It all felt good to me...but I know I have a bit of the theatre running in my blood. So if it were you...you being the new guardians...or you being the children. Either...what do you think of this? Am I leaving anything out??
Dearest _________,
If you’re reading this it means we’re gone and Robert and Carissa are alone now. We know, they aren’t really alone. They are only without us, and that is tough enough without actually being alone.
We also know, we don’t have to say much of what we are saying…but we have to say it, because it has to be said-let nothing be assumed. We won’t attempt to tell you how we feel about our children, how much we love them, our dreams for them. All you have to do is think of how you feel for your children. That is enough.
We realize taking two children into your home is a big undertaking and responsibility. We don’t doubt that you’ll love them and give them the best of everything you can. We hope you’ll talk about us and let them talk about us. Let us continue to live in their hearts. We want them to come to love you and trust you as much as any child can love a loved family member who becomes a parent…more even. But never let them doubt our love for them. Never let them think we left them voluntarily.
You know enough about Delfina’s family history to know that what we said in the will is what should be done, without waiver. Should Robert and Carissa desire to seek out any of Delfina’s family when they are mature enough to understand it all…the danger involved, etc…it is up to your discretion. If you chose to let them, to help them, great. If you decide they should wait until they’re adults, fine. It is completely up to you and we hope you’ll consider it prayerfully.
We would like both Robert and Carissa to know of our desire for them to serve missions. We know the church’s position on women serving missions, that it is their choice…but we believe both should be encouraged equally. If either one decides against it, fine. It is their life to live. We just want them to be encouraged to do so. The blessings and growth that can be obtained from serving a religious mission are like no others and we want them to understand that clearly.
We hope you’ll teach them that there is no greater thing they can do in life than to love. Whether they have money, education, material possessions does not matter. If they have love, they have enough. If they never succeed at anything worldly, they will never be failures if they love. Caring for, doing for and loving others is the truest measure of success.
At this point, we don’t know how much, if anything, will be left to take care of them financially. We trust your judgment if there is. Do the best you can with what is left. Money never was love and though we realize adding two children to a budget is a lot, we hope they’ll never worry one way or another that if there is no money, there will be no love. We pray Heavenly Father blesses you in the responsibility of these two. That if there are things that are needed, somehow you will have them.
Above all, let them know how loved they are, always have been and always will be. Let them never doubt our love for them. Tell them we’ll be watching over them for all their days and that someday we will be all together again because we are a forever family.
We love you and can’t express in words the feelings we have while writing this to you. We know you’ll treasure our babies as much as we do. And we hope you know that the privilege of being a family that includes you is something we cherish.
Until we meet again,
Dan & Delfina
Man...I bawled writing this tonight...I'll stress over it now...wondering if it was too much, not enough...so help me out guys. Either help me fix it, or set my mind at ease.
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