New Medications Specifically for Women - Phentermine.com

Sandye · November 14th, 2002, 05:58 PM

Damitol
Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 hours.

St. Mom's Wort
Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering her children unconscious for up to six hours.

Empty Nestrogen
Highly effective suppository that eliminates melancholy by enhancing the memory of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out.

Peptobimbo
Liquid silicone for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and improves flirting.

Dumerol
When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low I.Q. causing enjoyment of country western music.

Flipitor
Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.

Antiboyotics
When administered to teenage girls, is highly effective in improving grades, freeing up phone lines, and reducing money spent on make-up.

Menicillin
Potent antiboyotic for older women. Increases resistance to such lines as, "You make me want to be a better person... can we get naked now?"

Buyagra
Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency and duration of spending spree.

Extra Strength Buy-One-all
When combined with Buyagra, can cause an indiscriminate buying frenzy so severe the victim may even come home with a Donny Osmond CD or a book by Dr. Laura.

Jack*****pirin
Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary or phone number.

Antitalksident
A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers.

Sexcedrin
More effective than Excedrin in treating the, "Not now, dear, I have a headache," syndrome.

Ragamat
When administered to a husband, provides the same irritation as ragging on him all weekend, saving the wife the time and trouble of doing it herself.

Okay, it's been a long day and I thought some of these were funny. Nite!

HIPPIE · November 14th, 2002, 06:11 PM

My husband was standing behind me reading these,I think it made his night.You go girl.

Nitra · November 14th, 2002, 06:30 PM

LOL Sandye!

Carolyn1 · November 14th, 2002, 09:11 PM

Hi! I'm new here. I absolutely love your sense of humor! Thanks for sharing!

kyso52 · November 14th, 2002, 09:47 PM

that's just too funny.thanks for sharing.elle

MiSsJoLi · November 15th, 2002, 01:47 AM

HOTMAMA · November 15th, 2002, 02:15 AM

that's hilarious!

MELLIE1 · November 15th, 2002, 05:38 AM

LOL!!!

Tonia · November 15th, 2002, 05:47 AM

I wants me some of ALLLL that!

That was hilarious!

Tonia

mommy of twins · November 15th, 2002, 07:12 AM

LMAO!! Too Funny!!

mlrg · November 15th, 2002, 07:30 AM

Sandye, that is just too cute!!

luvmyboxerpup · November 15th, 2002, 07:57 AM

LOL!!
Those were great.
Thanks.

health4life · November 15th, 2002, 10:57 AM

Lmao..This is too funny

QueenDivaBaby · November 15th, 2002, 02:36 PM

AND WHERE CAN I PURCHASE? LMAO

November 14th, 2002, 05:58 PM	#1 (permalink)
Sandye Voice of Wisdom Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Ohio Posts: 1,305 Lost Weight: 20 Current Weight: 131 Goal Weight: 125	Damitol Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 hours. St. Mom's Wort Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering her children unconscious for up to six hours. Empty Nestrogen Highly effective suppository that eliminates melancholy by enhancing the memory of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out. Peptobimbo Liquid silicone for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and improves flirting. Dumerol When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low I.Q. causing enjoyment of country western music. Flipitor Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers. Antiboyotics When administered to teenage girls, is highly effective in improving grades, freeing up phone lines, and reducing money spent on make-up. Menicillin Potent antiboyotic for older women. Increases resistance to such lines as, "You make me want to be a better person... can we get naked now?" Buyagra Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency and duration of spending spree. Extra Strength Buy-One-all When combined with Buyagra, can cause an indiscriminate buying frenzy so severe the victim may even come home with a Donny Osmond CD or a book by Dr. Laura. Jack*pirin Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary or phone number. Antitalksident A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers. Sexcedrin More effective than Excedrin in treating the, "Not now, dear, I have a headache," syndrome. Ragamat When administered to a husband, provides the same irritation as ragging on him all weekend, saving the wife the time and trouble of doing it herself. Okay, it's been a long day and I thought some of these were funny. Nite! All you can do is the best you can do ... but the best you can do is enough.

November 14th, 2002, 06:11 PM	#2 (permalink)
HIPPIE Platinum Phenster Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: S.C. Posts: 1,069 Lost Weight: 15 Current Weight: 135	My husband was standing behind me reading these,I think it made his night.You go girl. In prison, you spend most of your life looking through bars from the inside wanting to get out. At work, you spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars. http://phentermine.com/smilies/

November 15th, 2002, 01:47 AM	#6 (permalink)
MiSsJoLi Wonder Phenster Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Louisville, KY Posts: 5,265 Lost Weight: 78 pounds Current Weight: 155 Goal Weight: 140-145	Before During SW-233 CW-155 GW-140

November 15th, 2002, 05:38 AM	#8 (permalink)
MELLIE1 Gold Phenster Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: NORTH CAROLINA Posts: 665 Lost Weight: 15 pounds Current Weight: 239 Goal Weight: 180	LOL!!! MELODIE ONE STEP AT A TIME LEADS ALL THE WAY HOME!!!!

November 15th, 2002, 02:36 PM	#14 (permalink)
QueenDivaBaby "I am too blessed to be stressed and too anointed too be disappointed!" Join Date: May 2002 Location: FLA Posts: 2,942 Lost Weight: 68PDS Current Weight: 175 Goal Weight: 140	AND WHERE CAN I PURCHASE? LMAO The shortest distance between a problem and a solution is the distance between your knees and the floor.

November 14th, 2002, 06:30 PM	#3 (permalink)
Nitra Wonder Phenster Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Houston TX Posts: 5,710 Lost Weight: 70.5 Current Weight: 183 Goal Weight: 150ish	LOL Sandye!

November 14th, 2002, 09:11 PM	#4 (permalink)
Carolyn1 Bronze Phenster Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 15 Lost Weight: 0lbs Current Weight: 230 Goal Weight: 150	Hi! I'm new here. I absolutely love your sense of humor! Thanks for sharing!

November 14th, 2002, 09:47 PM	#5 (permalink)
kyso52 Gold Phenster Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: missouri Posts: 617 Lost Weight: 32 Current Weight: 151 Goal Weight: 135	that's just too funny.thanks for sharing.elle

November 15th, 2002, 02:15 AM	#7 (permalink)
HOTMAMA Platinum Phenster Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: north carolina Posts: 1,670 Lost Weight: 10 Current Weight: 160 Goal Weight: 135	that's hilarious!

November 15th, 2002, 05:47 AM	#9 (permalink)
Tonia Silver Phenster Join Date: Aug 2002 Posts: 352 Lost Weight: 0lbs	I wants me some of ALLLL that! That was hilarious! Tonia

November 15th, 2002, 07:12 AM	#10 (permalink)
mommy of twins Diamond Phenster Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: San Antonio Texas Posts: 3,363 Lost Weight: 0lbs Goal Weight: 150	LMAO!! Too Funny!!

November 15th, 2002, 07:30 AM	#11 (permalink)
mlrg Silver Phenster Join Date: Aug 2002 Posts: 176 Lost Weight: 0lbs	Sandye, that is just too cute!!

November 15th, 2002, 07:57 AM	#12 (permalink)
luvmyboxerpup Diamond Phenster Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Alabama Posts: 2,758 Lost Weight: 34 Current Weight: 122 Goal Weight: 125	LOL!! Those were great. Thanks.

November 15th, 2002, 10:57 AM	#13 (permalink)
health4life I AM WILLING TO DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO LIVE A HEALTHY SLIMMER LIFE Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: florida Posts: 6,748 Lost Weight: 98 lbs Current Weight: 170 lbs Goal Weight: 150	Lmao..This is too funny

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