[mom2hunt]

I don't post TOO much, mostly do a lot of reading, but would love to know if anyone else is experiencing this. I am on week 3 and I have lost 15 lbs. Prior to phen I was a "weight watcher" and lost 10 (that took 3 months). So I am down 25 lbs. and some people are noticing now. I can sure tell. But my husband has barely said a word. He is so good to tell me "your hair looks great"......"great outfit"....."your eyes look beautiful in that color dress"....

BUT HELLO DUDE! WHAT ABOUT THE 25 LBS. I'VE LOST OVER HERE! Nothing, he hasn't mentioned a word, he hasn't even noticed! I want him- more than anyone to notice my results. Our son is 1 yaers old now, and I am working so hard to get this extra weight off. I have blamed it on baby weight for way too long. I need support from him the most. But I don't want to make a deal of it and "ask" him to notice. I want him to notice on his own. Suggestions???

SW on Phen 216
CW 201
Short Goal 170
Long Goal 140

[kaykay]

Maybe he sees you through the "eyes of love" and didn't even notice the weight in the first place! He loves you just the way you are!

Really though, someone who sees you everyday is less likely to notice gradual changes. Just like it's difficult to notice your own kids growing, but with other kids that you see less often their growth is very apparent. I'm sure that at a certain point he'll have one of those "omigod look how far my arms go around you now" moments. And won't it be sweet when it does come!!

Keep it up for your own self-satisfaction,

[ohiosearcher]

ok....here is that guy perspective again....he either doesn't notice because we are goofy that way....or he is a little jealous maybe....if it upsets you enough you should sit him down and express your feelings in a non-confrontational way so he can better understand what you are going through....as guys...we really do appreciate that..honest...lol....or...you can just keep taking the personal satisfaction that you are doing so well knowing that like kay said....one day he will just go WOW...what the heck happened.....good luck..

[slowfoot]

This sounds familiar...

My husband was afraid to say that he'd notice because he knows how ultra sensitive I am about my weight. I (against my will) had to bring up the subject, and now he's not afraid to say he's noticed.

I think he was afraid to say anything because of the possible response..."YOU MUST HAVE THOUGHT I REALLY LOOKED LIKE CRAP ON A CRACKER BEFORE AYE?"

When I first started taking phen, I was just emotional enough to go there, I can't blame him a bit.

Congrats on your weight loss, you've come a LONG way

[Noodles]

Try not to feel down about this! You know your losing. When you have alot to lose (like I do) it takes quite awhile before people can really tell a marked difference. I've lost 38 pounds ( gone from size 24 to 18) and have yet to have anyone make a comment about it! Keep going and one day he'll look at you and notice it all at once!

[KeliK]

I know what you mean about not wanting to ask him to notice... like whats the point of that!

sometimes people are afraid of saying the wrong thing, and so they say nothing at all.
I had a guy at work tell me thats the reason he never said anything, he knows that many people are very weight sensitive, and he didnt want to say the wrong thing. he said that after the 91 lbs gone.

does he know you are trying to loose weight ?

my hubby doesnt say anything either. he liked me fatter and less confident and strong.

good luck!

[TameraZ]

Your post just made me laugh because I was about to post the same topic! I've lost 20 pounds and dropped 2 sizes - no one has said a word. I was started to feel really uptight about it but then realized I am doing this for me so it probably doesn't matter anyway. As for your husband, mine doesn't say anything about my weight unless I bring it up first. He knows that I am doing this and is supportive but doesn't ever say anything about the results. When I asked him about it, he said "Don't take this the wrong way but when I see you, I just see my beautiful wife. I don't know if you are a size 14 or 18 - I just see you." So ya, it's a little frustrating to think that after doing all of this, he doesn't see much of a difference yet, but I feel better about myself and that's what I did it for in the first place! I just come here for lots of support and atta girl when I need it! Good luck!

sw - 190
cw - 171
gw - 140

[nal]

Yeah - what they said. (see above)

No one (except my best pal) has said anything about my weight loss either. I've been on the weight loss roller coaster for so long - up and down - and those who know me well know that it is a sore subject. I think they're all afraid to say the wrong thing. Hubby has had his head taken off for seemingly innocent remarks regarding my appearance. Why should he stick his little neck out again? I'm doing this for me. Once you've gotten it off, and kept it off for awhile, maybe he'll be brave enough to comment.

[luvmyboxerpup]

OR...

You could be like me, the master manipulator, and say something innocent,like, "Ohhh me! These darn pants are just TOO big" and raise your shirt and pull the waist out so he can see the difference.

I do this at least once a week, and it never fails, he always says something, like, "Wow, your lookin' good" etc.

Believe me, after almost 13 years of learning to NEVER say anything about my weight or if a dress makes my butt look big, My husband is probably scared to death to say anything without me giving the go-ahead!
lol

[Wiccasource]

I think part of it is them just being men. I've never snapped at hubby for making a comment that came out wrong. I actually laugh about it and tell him I know what he meant. But...he still never volunteers information.

I asked him one time why he never says, WOW!! You look great, when I get dressed up to go out. He said you know you look great and you know I love you and that I think you look great and shrugged...men?? I just told him that yeah...I know that, I really do but it really helps to HEAR it sometimes. Since then he's been better.

But when he slacks...I just ask. How do I look? Do you like my new skirt? Can you tell I'm loosing weight...I can, but can you? And I always ask in a light tone...not like I'm grilling him...and he tells me

With some men it's like pulling teeth to get them to communicate...mine's like that, so I just drag it out of him, LOL!!

Of course if you are sensetive and he knows this the others are probably right and he may be afraid to say the wrong thing. Good Luck and stick with it for yourself and before long he won't be able to not notice

[ March 29, 2002: Message edited by: Wicca ]