IT TRUE IT'S NOT WHAT YOUR EATING IT'S WHAT'S EATING YOU

[Melissa0101]

Today was an amazing breakthrough between my mom and I. We've been follwed through my family's life with devistation. When I was a child I was molested by my father until I was 16. My mother was in an accident when I was 11 and lost her leg as a result of the accident and was very sick afterwards she didn't come home for 6 months. When I was 19 I was forced to move out because my other sister had also been molested to my horror I also found out that my other sister also was. My father was ultimatly arrested and spent 7 years in jail for what he had done he never served any time for me because I was over 18 and would of had to testify and just couldn't do it. The this year on july 22 after my 25 year old sisters 2 year battle with cancer she passed away she had such a rare cancer that you cant even find any information on the internet about it.
Well, this morning my mom called me to inform me that my other sister isn't talking to any of us because she has been taking care of my sisters kids and we don't help her. My mother had been discussing all the problems we've been having lately. My mom and my sister constantly argue about the fact that my mom paints a different picture of how our lives really were. I've never said anything to her until today because I didn't want to tell her I just never had the heart to disagree with her and do that to her. Finally I did tell her that it was totally different from what she remembers and that it terribly. I said that I was mad at her for never protecting us (my father used to beat us also) and that she has never admitted she was also at fault. I felt so much better after telling her and instantly felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my chest I could actually breath again. We cried a lot today and I told her she had to get out of bed and realize that me and my other sister are still here. I am hoping that we can now form a relationship like mother and daughters should have. I honestly feel like this was the one last thing holding me back from losing weight. I was terrified to tell her. I just wanted to let you know I didn't blame her for my father molesting me but for all the other things that had happened that she never took responsibility for. I am feeling ready to lose the weight more than ever.

Thanks for listening,
Melissa

[QueenDivaBaby]

Melissa I am sorry you had to go through that. Thats good you got that off of your chest,after it has been bottled up in you so long. And I am sorry about your sister. Now you can go on,and I hope you can have the relationship you want with your mother.

Oh my gosh..YOur message made me cry. I can relate to some of your situation. I too, have lived with some pretty bad stuff. Up until recently I have been sitting by and letting things happen to me..instead of the other way around. I lived in an abusive marriage for almost 12 years before I finally had the guts to get out. Good luck to you. You made a HUGE step recognizing your pain today. I hope the future holds wonderful things for you!

[Clara]

Melisa, I can't relate to all of the things you went through but I can to some. I do know that no child should have to go through what you did. I think just by letting your mother know how you felt that things will start to mend. Your doing the right thing building a relationship with her. I know that my mom was a little like yours when it came to my step fathers. I confronted her when I was in my 30's, she understood and apologized. I don't know what causes women to put up with some of the things they do from men. I know my mom never wanted to be alone but what a trade off. I'm so glad that I didn't let that ruin my relationship with my mom. I think you will be too. Take care

[Melissa0101]

I am so glad I dealt with this issue it really felt like a brick was lifted off my chest. I couldn't believe it and I din't realize it was stressing me out that badly for so many years.

[Cassie]

Melissa ~ I'm sorry you had to go through all that stuff. I can't even imagine how horrible it must have been for you. I'm glad you were able to finally tell your mother what you were thinking. Stay strong and continue to do what's right for you. You deserve it!

[Melissa0101]

First off I want to thank everyone for your support.
I just wanted to share with you that sometimes were not going to overcome weight until you deal with the inner demon and I had a lot. It just took me until now to do it. I kept thinking that why can't I lose this weight? I have dealt with what my dad had done and I've been dealing fairly well with my sister (miss her terribly everyday) The only thing that I could think of is the strained relatioinship my mom and I had. Thanks to a Dr. Phil episode it really opened my eyes.

[Keew]

Melissa,
I'm not going to say I'm sorry. I'm going to say congrats. Congrats on making the biggest move of your life.
Realizing that you were a child and not to blame. You were expected to act as an adult and handle adult situations when you should not have had to. Kudos on letting your Mom know that she needs to take responsibility for not letting you be a child and not protecting you when you needed it.
I hope now, with chidren, that you NEVER hold back on letting your inner child take over and showing your inner adult how to have fun. You have alot of making up to do girl!!

[Melissa0101]

Thank you, Keew I'm hoping to inspire other people to think deep down what maybe bothering them.

[MELLIE1]

Melissa, I am so sorry for what you have been through. I know it took alot to finally tell your Mother how you really felt. It's amazing that you were able to express your feelings after everything you have had to deal with. Congratulations on letting it go!! I hope you get lots of happiness and sunshine from here on out.

[Tonia]

BRAVO!!!!!!!

Girl, just tell it all! Get that stuff off your chest because it does NOBODY any good to hold it all in. That was a ton of stuff that you were carrying on those pretty shoulders of yours. It was about time that you lightened the load!

I'm proud of you for getting the courage to say what needed to be said.

I'm sorry to hear about your sister! Girl, just hang on to those that you have in your life and hug them tight!

Congrats to you! What a HUGE step you made!

Tonia

[sjan]

I am so sorry that you had to go through that as a child and even as an adult. Congrats on telling your mom how you felt. I have had some of the same problems with my father ( not all) and I know it does make your life hard. Now that you have said what needed to be said I know you will be a much happier person. You are in my thoughts. Sarah

[LisaS]

Melissa, you have a PM.

[Mistydawn2222]

I just want to agree with everyone and say congrats! It took alot of courage to do what you did, and I bet you feel so much better. Your story really inspired me. I did not have to go through most of the things you did, but my childhood was very bad, and while I love my parents very much, there are times I want to scream.."Do you not remember what you put me through??"...Good for you for being brave, now you will be able to have a little peace. Thanks for sharing with us.

[Melissa0101]

bump

[Kosmik7]

Hey, Kid...Get it all out of your system and start your life (the life YOU want).
Seems that a lot of us are so busy trying to hold things together..that we never have the time to take care of ourselves.
After all you have been thru..what more can hurt you? NUTHIN', I think!
Move forward...toward happiness.
Best wishes from Kosmik
ps. I sent you a pm.

[stellar]

Melissa,
I'm happy for you that you have found strength after suffering through so much misery.
I also want you to know that this is your journey to healing and though it would be wonderful not to make it alone, remember that your sister and even your mom may not be at the same place you are. I hope to God for you that they are and you can all heal and go forward together but I don't want you to give up on yourself and what you've accomplished if they aren't growing with you.
Stay Strong and I wish you ALL the best!