[mommy of twins]

Okay guys, I need your help again.. Its late and nobodies postin, but im sure this will still be on the first page Monday morning..

I called the attorney generals office to see why deadbeat was let out of jail after being there 2 days. He did file an appeal and he paid 500 bucks and they let him go. We have to go back to court on January 17th.. The AG's office had nothing to say to me because they werent in court that day, BUT they did tell me that deadbeat hired a lawyer.. HOW?!?!?! Grrrr.. anyway..

Im thinkin if he wants to play dirty I will too.

I am thinkin Im going to hire a lawyer of my own that way I can "change" the order to include him having to pay 1/2 of the childcare expenses. Going thru the AG office, you can only "change" your order every 3 years.. but I want this done NOW. He is only ordered to pay me 195 a month for current child support and another 90 a month for retroactive. He doesnt even pay that. SO I dont know that Id get much result from adding 400 more to that amount.. but I really want to be a biotch.

I wont have enough money by the 17th of January, but tax refund time is coming for me.. and I get a lot back. (last year 5700).. I wont get that much back this year because I claim 2 on my payroll this year instead of 1 and I made more money this year than last. BUT will still be more than enough.

Do you think its worth it?? Just to pi$$ him off? I mean if it is ordered, he WILL have to pay it or reap the consequences. I just think he is getting off way to easy not having to pay any of it. 800 is a lot of money for daycare. If I didnt have to pay but 400, then I wouldnt have to be living here with my dad!

This will really strike a nerve with him since his next baby is due in February.. oh well!

Am I being mean? Do you think its a waste of money? Waste of time? I dont even know how much it would cost.

I have also thought about offering him to terminate his parental rights for a certain sum of money because its obvious he doesnt give a crap about the girls. I really dont think that hes the kind of person they need to know, even if he is their biological father. He doesnt call for birthdays or Christmas or anything. Hes basically nobody and they dont know who he is.

Just need opinions.. thanks!

Mer

[rene76]

hi mer!
YOU GOTTA LOVE TEXAS! AUGH! okay, not only do i have a daycare but i bounty hunt/recover as well and what i have learned is...texas is a non~conformist state...i can not tell you how many times i have had to do a private trace and PICK UP in texas for non payment of support...and have to use a warrant out of Missouri for another violation just to be able to pick them up in texas! augh! they more than likely won't revoke his license and to be honest....you may want to consider retaining a lawyer NOW...get at least your papers filed because come feb. when he has that new baby...he can use that as a deduction. sad, i know...but you need to get this ball rolling.
no, i don't think you are mean, horrible or selfish....you should see what i see in my work...it's enough to make you sick!
i am sorry.....not even $200 a month for 2 baby girls! NOPE..sorry! my ex husband pays $300 on our one and doesn't blink an eye. he is an *** but when it comes to support..he pays...he also pays $275 a month on a child he has never seen..not once..he is going for custody on that one though...and should..her mom is a dead beat...similar to your lovely ex...p iss es me off!
now...as far as him hiring a lawyer..i belive that he can get a "family act" attorney that will work probono...they ****...don't worry.
keep me updated...here is my email addy..
jondae94************
~rene'

[rene76]

he ll...that worked well!
here let's try this again..
jondae94 @ hot mail . com

[PreciousTexan3758]

Morning! Ah the issue of the deadbeat dad. Hmm seems like I have one of those too what a piece of work he is. He switched jobs almost three months ago and has not paid but 130 dollars in that time period, he is ordered to pay 630 a month for my two. He only calls once in a blue moon and last year maybe saw them 4 times in the whole year. Yes we are taking him back to court and no we do not need an attorney to do so. He is in contempt for not paying, I had a friend of mine draw up the paperwork so I just have to go to the court house have it signed and serve him. I fired the Attorney General they are a joke. I go the the child support office now and they also have a child support efforcement division that will go after him once he is so far behind and they only charge you 20 bucks. I know exactly how you feel. He does not care one bit for the girls, but trust me they are not suffering my current husbands treats them like they are his own kids, but he tries to make there father live up to his obligations and he will not. He only thinks of himself and no one else. The only way we will get child support is to garnish his wages which we are in the process of doing once again. There is no justice when it comes to children of divorces the fathers can get away with anything and in the end the kids suffer not the father.

Sheila

[CONYSCAZ]

Hey ladies I'm in the same boat but my sons father jumps from state to state. Every time he moves the whole thing starts over. It takes like 6 months just to patition the new state and locate him. He thinks he is the next Denzel Washington and thinks he big acting break is about to happen. I can say a lot of bad things about him but I know that if he were able to help he would. He REALLY isn't a BAD person just a broke one.

[BebeMom]

Hey Mer, sorry that you're having to deal with such a jerk. He didn't have the money to pay his daughters but has it to pay an attorney??

I work in payroll and handle child support garnishments and I can tell you that it probably won't help to make him pay more. Just b/c it is ordered by the court, he can still get out of it. When the court orders the garnishment, they send a copy to him and his employer. Well, if he's no stranger to changing jobs, that's all he has to do and it has to start all over. The courts won't track him down - they usually leave it up to you.

I wish you luck. Those lil' girls are too precious to have to do without anything just because their father is a lowlife.

[mommy of twins]

I know Densie.. Theyve garnished his wages once.. but they cant take more than 50% of his check so I only got 60 bucks!

I know Ill never see any of them money.. I just want to make his life a living h e l l . I want to put SO much stress on him its not even funny. I want him to feel how I feel... even though its not possible.

I had been so nice to him. Letting him see them when he did call (once every 6 months or so). I cant do that anymore though. Hes had plenty of oppertunities. What really set me off is him not calling on their birthday or Christmas.

[Jennerizer]

You have to figure out if "you" paying money to piss him off is worth it. Because in the end, he probably won't be paying anything anyways...but you will have shelled good money out of your pocket.

I don't think it would hurt to consult with an attorney...I believe the consultation should not cost you anything (I could be wrong on that). Find out what it will cost before you make up your mind. Also, be careful of attorneys that will prey on your emotions. There are some good attorneys out there, but you know the reputation for most of them. They are there to make money, not to do what is necessarily right. Bottom line, make sure they don't take advantage of your wallet.

I say take a few days to think it over. The answers will come to you in one way or another. I can tell you're furious with the whole situation, which is understandable. But make your decisions based on what is best for you & your girls.......not on what would feel good temporarily (i.e. seeing your ex pissed off).

Jen

[BellaTat2]

All I gotta say is fighting for what belongs to you and your kids is not mean. My sister in law is in this boat and she has stopped fighting, her ex has worn her down. It makes me so MAD.

[IMG]http://members.*****com/bellatat2/myhomepage/mvc-005f.jpg%3fmtbrand=AOL_US[/IMG]

Leslie

[Luvwater]

Mer
Believe me I know oh so how you feel...but do think about it before you spend $$$$ on an attorney...I have been throught 2 attorneys at a very pretty penny and the first one did get child support started ((garnished))that lasted about 3 months and the second one did nothing and then finally I went to the child support services in March and yes it has taken forever but he was finally served his papers Monday that they are sueing him for the back child support....I really dont believe we'll ever see it though

Take care girl
Ann

[Ph@t]

Mer,
I would ask him to sign his rights away. Period. If he doesn't want to see them then eliminate the deadbeat b/c he is not worthy of you or your girls PERIOD! You WILL move on and you will make it. You are one hot momma and you will have no problem finding a good man. For now you just work on yourself and getting your own place for you and your girls. Eff that l a m e r ! Good Luck Girl!

[HollyAsWell]

Just my personal opinion but 195 a month won't even buy groceries for them for 30 days never mind medical care, housing, clothing and other sundries...........

[tj1]

ok Mommy here goes for what it's worth...I wouldn't waste my money cuz in the end he will get out of things like they always seem to do. But u could consult an new attorney for advice anyhow. Now seeing that this all came up right at this time I would like to ask anyone out there, their opnion on the following. Sorry if this is long but have to explain it. My grandson is 8 and has lived with me since birth. His mom was 16 when she had him and lots of details I"ll leave out but we got legal guardianship of him at 2months of age. His mom is involved in his life but never really bonded wiht him and might add never tried til last 3 yrs.Now history on the father. He hasn't seen him but like 3 times in last 8 yrs even though we live in same town. Child support has been very sporadic like 1 or 2 times a yr. Only like 40.00 at a time. My husband and I have raised him and this includes all finances. NOW this past week the birth father contacts my daughter and wanted to see him at xmas and gave him some nice gifts,(don't know where he got the $ he never works). she took him over there xmas eve awhile never telling US about any of this. Now my grandson is very excited because he got these gifts and this guy told my daughter he wanted to start seeing him more. Also promised him more gifts siad he had things on lay a way still, yadda yadda yadda. the guy doesn't work never has. He in the last 8 yrs has managed to father 3 other kids none of whom he pays child support too or see's. My question to anyone who might have any child psychology..is it more harmful to my grandson to let him see this guy when he wants too or just make excuses and let old dogs lie? We are very confused about what is right or good for the boy at this point. I would take any suggestions or help on this and thank you for listening. Mommy of twins didn't mean to interfere with your post just seemed like the right place to jump in!

[mommy of twins]

TJ~

These idiots dont deserve children.. we all know this. I have that similar problem as far as visitation goes. I think it hurts the kids in the longrun. Mine see their father once every 6mos-year. Not healthy at all. But yet he has legal rights, so he can do whatever he wants.. whatevers good for him. He can come in and out of their lives whenever its convenient. Whenever he gets that "i wanna be a dad" feeling. I am going to start saying no when he calls though.. Our visitation order only says that we have to be in agreement. So as far as Im concerned, were always busy or sick. If he ever does call now!

I would cut that off right now. BUT I dont know what kind of right he has. Seeing your kid 3 times in 8 years???? Thats sick.