A CHALLENGE TO SELF-NURTURE

**hat-lady** · April 10th, 2009, 10:42 AM

I am starting this challenge with others as a follow up to the Love thyself Challenge.
The goal of course is to lose weight.
But the objective is to obtain our goal through nurturing ourselves with exercise, diet, and achieving balance and harmony in our lives, and in ourselves.
The challenge will start Monday, April 13. It will last 10 weeks, ending Monday
June 15. All are welcome.
Requirements:
Sign-up with starting weight, and goal weight for challenge.
Introduce yourself, and tell something about you. There is alot to be said even if you are wanting to maintain your anonymity.

Have a plan for diet. Any plan, counting calories, carbs, points, structured diet, what ever. The key here is structure. Nurturing is not torturing plan something you can live with.

Have an exercise program or plan.
Participate on the thread, daily if possible. Report weight weekly. You can post food and exercise journal. Ask questions, make suggestions, think out loud , or vent.

I hope I can encourage others to achieve their goals. In this it helps me achieve mine. Hat-Lady

**hat-lady** · April 10th, 2009, 11:02 AM

I am starting this challenge at 186 lbs
My goal for this challenge is to lose 15 lbs
I have lost 25lbs since Dec 21,08.!!
The exercise I have chosen is walking. I am in horrible shape and it is the safest for me.
About me;
I am married, (36 yrs). Oh.. I often refer to my husband as DB "dearly beloved"
I have 2 grown children, 3 grandchildren.
I owned a business for 25 years, but have retired from that and work in sales now.
Sales requires some travel, and I will be absent from here from time to time.
I grew up in Massachusetts, lived in Orlando Fla ( yes, I worked at Disney), now in Southern Indiana.
I have the care of my elderly mom, she just finished a breast cancer ordeal.
My kids can make me crazy, money problems, divorce, etc...

I

**CDCreations** · April 10th, 2009, 01:35 PM

Hello all!! I am excited about joining this challenge, I really need the help and encouragement of others to help keep me on track. My oldest daughter has a destination wedding coming up in Jamaica in June, this will help me to lose the weight I need for the trip!! A little about me: my name is Val, and I have two grown daughters, a great husband (married 30 years), and my adorable 7 year-old grandson. I work in Washington, DC as a legal secretary, and live in the Maryland suburbs. I have a lot of trouble with my knees (and more recently, my ankle), so my primary mode of exercise is my stationary bike, and I have joined Curves, been there for about 2 months now, and I love it -- all of the weight machines are used while sitting, which is perfect for me, keeps the weight off my knees --

My starting weight for this challenge is 228 pounds, and my goal is to lose about 15-20 pounds. I'm doing a pretty good diet right now called the Fat Smash diet, so I plan to continue doing that. I really need to boost my intake of water, so that's going to be my biggest challenge, to do better with that. Okay, let's get ready to lose some weight!!

**elemteach5** · April 10th, 2009, 03:28 PM

Sounds like a great idea Hatlady!!

About me:
I've been married for 23 years. We have 3 sons - 22, 18, & 15. One grandson, 8mths,
I live in Tennessee
I teach 5th grade and I love my job!! I've won several awards including Teacher of the Year.
I was a stay at home mom when my kids were little so I know how hard it really is.
My husband and I have a wonderful marriage and I'm happy with my life. I am so much more content with myself at age 41 than I was at age 21. I very much dreaded getting older, but so far I'm loving the frame of mind that has come with it.
My biggest stress is watching my older sister struggle every day. She has a very rare disease (Lambert Eaton's Syndrome) and can't walk or work now. She's been trying to get disability for over a year. She has no insurance so she can't see a neurologist to get the help she needs. She's worked her entire life and it's hard for her to lose her independence. Long story, but huge stress for me. She moved 3 houses down from me so I could help her. (from KY)

My weight loss plan is to count calories and carbs.
I plan to walk the track daily since the weather is getting nice. (I'm not a dedicated exerciser) (I'm working on that)
I plan to drink at least 8 glasses of water daily.
I will not drink any soda.
I'm starting out at 162.

LZ · April 11th, 2009, 10:02 AM

My name is LZ and I am on a roll with my weightloss. I have been trying to reach a goal of 138 for a long time. I have changed the goal to 130 becuse I can gain 5 pounds almost overnight. I have accepted the fact that I will always have to watch what I put in my mouth, but I want to have the leeway to take a weeks vacation every now and again.

Challenge goals:

Lose 10lbs.--start weight 145
Exercise at least 30 min. cardio 3 x per week
Follow low calorie diet-limit 8800 calories per week
Log meals on My Fitness Pal

I am a SAHM/ small rancher and I take care of all of my Mom's personal business. I have two children 19 y/o daughter (lives on her own) and 11 y/o son. I have been married 22 years. Elem teacher I can relate to being happier at 43 than 23. I am also very happy at this point.

I look forward to this new challenge. Hat-Lady I will help you any way I can.

Happy weekend all--I am not going to blow it Sunday. I have planned for an 1800 calorie day.

**DoNiSe2009** · April 11th, 2009, 12:44 PM

starting weight 224.2 i would like to be below 210lbs by the end of this challenge

I just ordered the 30 day shred dvd and cant wait to get that in the mail and start doing that
atleast 3-4 days a week along with still going to the gym 3-4 days a week
I am going to take my measurements on the day i start the shred and will post my measurement then and then again at the end of this challenge.

I just started cutting out bread and pastas only been a few days so far but plan on keeping up with that

along with still drinking atleast 140+oz of water every day

I am 26 married to Kevin 28
we have been together 9 years and married 6year ( April 19th will be 6 yrs )
we have 2 kids Brandon is 6 and Alyssa is 2! ( we had 3 miscarriages before having alyssa
and i had a horrible pregnancy with alyssa after she was born had kindey stones and my gallbladder taken out )

I am a stay at home mom!
before i got pregnant with Brandon I was 177lbs I am 5'10 and I wore a size 9 I was really happy at that weight

my goal weight is to be 190 and then go from there ( since I will no longer be in the 200's anymore ) I am hoping to be under 200lbs by the end of July

I have a twin sister named Denise ( who is 145lbs blah which I stress over daily ) I have a big family and we are all really close!!!

**anadingding** · April 13th, 2009, 01:51 AM

Hi everyone I've been here on and off for a few years now! My weight is so crazy. I manage to lose a lot of weight and keep it off for at least one year and then I regain it all back and some!

My goal for this challenge is to lose 15 to 20 lbs!

I plan to eat healthier by cutting anything with flour.

I plan to exercise at least 3 times a week either tae-bo video, elliptical, or treadmill!

Im 25 years old
5'3
201.2 lbs start

**anadingding** · April 13th, 2009, 01:59 AM

Ok I need some help I need to cahnge my current weight and lost weight on my profile where do I go to do that. That was like in 2007

**elemteach5** · April 13th, 2009, 09:37 AM

This past week I haven't done so well, but this is a new week!! I will walk 30 minutes after school if it isn't raining. I will do much better watching what I eat!! I'm going to make my goal before summer!! I am, I am, & I am!!!!!

EASTER CANDY IS EVIL!!!!

**hat-lady** · April 13th, 2009, 09:39 AM

Losing because it is healthy! I can't tell you how much better I feel since losing 25 pounds!
I still have alot to go.
Last night I took 15 minutes and wrote down everything I have to do today. I also wrote what I planned for meals.
I think this will make it easier, I have a concrete plan!
Now I know things may go awry, but I will accept a plan "B"
But as far as my food plan I am the only one that can make it go awry!

CD.. I am looking forward to "borrowing your enthusiasm"!
elemteach... I am relying on your wit and wisdom.!
LZ .. I am trying to ride on your coat tails of momentum!
Donise..I admire your sticking to it
Ana...I am feeling your eagerness!!

What a team!!

Do you have a plan for today? Write it down. Make it easier on yourself.

LZ · April 13th, 2009, 10:10 AM

Good morning! Hat Lady writing a list has always helped me. My list is so long today, I'm afraid it would take me all day to write it down. So, I am picking my top 5 to start and maybe this evening I will write down my complete list.

I did overeat yesterday--my own fault. I did well during the day, but when leaving to go see my mom scratched my car door on a metal table left in an odd place in the yard.

I was a little down this morning, but went by the post office and my niece had sent me a cute easter card with my great-nephew on it. That really made my day. So, I am now getting more cheery.

Have a great day and I will try to check in this evening.

**CDCreations** · April 13th, 2009, 10:55 AM

Good morning! Welcome to all the new members, and I'm looking forward to losing weight on this challenge with you all -- we can do this!! Like LZ, I also did a lot of eating over the weekend, but when I weighed this morning, I saw that I had not lost, but most importantly, I didn't gain, so I'm happy about that!! Starting back on the detox prograrm of the Fat Smash diet so that I can cut some pounds this week. I'm here at work, and all of my meals/snacks for today have been packed, lots of delicious fruits and veggies, and I also plan to drink a lot of water today. I plan to go to Curves tonight for my workout --

Anadingding, to change your personal information, just click your name, and in the dropdown, click "View Public Profile" -- right next to the words "visitor messages," you will see the words "about me" -- click that and then a drop down will show with each of your personal items. To change the ones you want, click the pencil next to it, and you will be able to change the information, then click "save" and that should do it!

Okay ladies, let's work hard to eat and drink the right things today, the perfect combination for weight loss!!

**reesemom** · April 13th, 2009, 04:25 PM

Hi everyone Im 32yrs old I have 4 children ranging from 2yrs to 14yrs Ive been married 15yrs. I have been raising my little sister since she was 14yrs. My mom died of Breast Cancer 10yrs. ago and my dad hasn't been the same since it's as if I lost two parents. Anyway my sister is my biggest challenge right now she is almost 21yrs. and moved back in with me and she really has been having alot of stuggles. So this will be good for me I have a hard time nurturing myself. Anyway I would like to lose 15 to 20 pounds by the time this is over. Im going to watch my portion sizes eat from a smaller plate and exercise 4 to 5 time a week and do some strength training. I had a compound fracture in my ankle last summer and broke it in three places so the best thing for me is to walk or Xbike. I need to also drink more water and find something to replace my habit of eating when Im having a hard time.

**shaynsethsmom** · April 13th, 2009, 07:06 PM

Hi guys I am in ... My name is Angie , I am a 33, a wife for 14 years , and have two children , a girl 8 and my son 5 ... I run a CAKE business from home, I love what I do and am very good at it .... or I would never touch it again ..lol... I really do not have a problem eating cake, you get tired of it after a while ... my problem is night eating ... kids are in bed , my hubby works nights , I get bored !!! my starting weight for this challenge is 189 .... my goal is 175 .... would love to lose more.. it seem like it gets harder as you get older ... on a good note I weghed 231 a year ago , so I am losing and it is possible ... I will be following the body for life eating and workout plan ... you eat 6 times a day , and work out six days a week , one day cardio the next weights .. I did this after having my daughter and lost 50 pounds ... it works just have to stay motivated!!!! I will be adding Pilates to this also , I just enjoy it .... it is relaxing and boy do I need to relax ... ok girls we can do this ... Ang

LZ · April 13th, 2009, 11:50 PM

Welcome Reesemom---hey Angie good to see you!

Had a decent day. Dusted off one of my firm DVD's and kept it under 1200 calories. I also finished the wallpaper in my bathroom that I started Saturday and did 7 loads of laundry. I folded too but still need to put the rest away. Oh well, tomorrow is another day.

I am ready to shrink! Hope you all have a great evening.

**hat-lady** · April 14th, 2009, 09:36 AM

Hello to reesemom!
Angie!! Yes, glad you are back!
Yesterday I think I was on plan B by ten o'clock, and plan c by three. I got off my food plan when I had 3 glasses of wine in the evening. One while I cooked,one during the meal, one while I cleaned up

I have my list ready for today.
LZ and CD sound like they are ahead of me on this! Way to go!
CD ... Had the lunch planned and packed.
LZ.. you always seem to be accomplishing vast amouts of projects! Sorry about your vehicle, bummer..
I am look ahead to the rest of the week. It will only get busier.
I am also realizing my budget is getting tighter.
Does anyone have ideas of things we can do for ourselves maybe over the week-end? Something not diet/food related, and cheap?(maybe even free?)
Angie says she needs to relax. Me too!

Stick to your plan ladies, we are on the right road!!
Have a good day! HL

**anadingding** · April 14th, 2009, 12:59 PM

Hi I'm glad to see that we are all still motivated!

Thank you for all your help, I think I got it now! lol

my goal today is to do a taebo video its about 45 mins and boy does it make it sweat!

JFYI-- my weight tracker says that I have lost 2 lbs cause I have! Not since this challenge but as of April 1st. I started a new blog at Extra pounds!

**reesemom** · April 14th, 2009, 01:19 PM

Well Im glad it is a new day. The easter candy is almost gone which is good for me because I love chocolate. So needless to say I havent been doing that well the past few days. I am determined to do better today. I weighed in yesturday and at least I didnt gain but I didnt lose either I stayed the same 249 I forgot to put that earlier. Well I hope everybody has a GREAT day!

LZ · April 14th, 2009, 11:35 PM

I had a great day. I took my car to the Ford dealership for an estimate. She looked at it and we agreed all the way down to the metal. Then the body shop guy came out and went to get a cloth with some solvent and it all disappeared. I saw a miracle! No charge and you can't even see it now. What a relief.

Ran errands all day and finally got home at 3:30. The I tilled 1/2 my garden. Great exercise and it took over an hour.

So far so good on food intake. I have TOPS weigh-in tomorrow.

Have a great evening.

**hat-lady** · April 15th, 2009, 11:06 AM

Good morning everyone.
LZ on the straight and narrow!! And the scratch business woo hoo!! What a break!!
I know you felt like it was a gift from heaven!
I have got a terrible sinus infection. no phen today lots of water though with sinus meds. I feel like I've become a slime factory... Yuck , I know TMI sorry.

How is everyone doing? It seems quiet .
I still have to work today, I am leaving late. I hope I feel better tomorrow it is my long day at work.
I have my food plan going today. Other wise I don't think I will accomplish much more than an appearance today.
Hope everyone is working toward their goals, and treating themselves to something that they love to do.
Take time to enjoy something simple today. Play with the kids, the dog, the cat.
A conversation with a neighbor, friend. Maybe just some quiet time walking.

LZ · April 15th, 2009, 12:20 PM

Good morning.

Hat Lady I hope you feel better!

No TOPS today as the ladies had too much else going on. I was ready to go, but have enough on my plate and am not disappointed. My exercise yesterday of tilling 1/2 my garden has been repeated this morning. On track, hope to be down a few pounds before Saturday.

Have a great day!

**shaynsethsmom** · April 15th, 2009, 02:51 PM

hi guys .. i am doing great eating good ,and working out like i should .... i watched the biggest loser last night and just cried ..... they have come such a long way .. but the father and son team with the overweight son still at home ! it broke my heart , he felt so left out, to see his dad and brother both so much smaller than him, he felf so lost and i could feel it for him .... none of my close friends are overweight , you do feel like a weirdo , like your fat is all people see..... i know its not true , we all do , but i just cried , then i got on my bike and rode ten miles.... i wish the biggest loser was on everyday ....... these people have worked so hard and make me want to work even harder..... i am going to be doing weights and pilates today , cutting the grass , and just cleaning house ... i will check back in tomorrow , my hubby is off today .. have a great night guys!!! xoxoxoxo

**CDCreations** · April 15th, 2009, 03:33 PM

Gurl, you and me both, I cried like a baby watching the Biggest Loser -- and like you, I also got on my exercise bike and worked out while watching, and as the background music was playing in the background while they were working, I did my very best to keep up with that fast pace. And yes, I cried too, it broke my heart to hear the things the big brother was sayIng. I know the feeling, like you're out of place in this world, everyone is moving in the pace of the world, and you're not a part of it ... I also wish it was on every day, that show is one of the biggest motivations you can possibly have in working out.

LZ, way to go on your car miracle, wonderful!! And I hear you Hat Lady on that terrible sinus infection. I remember when I had it, awful -- went to my doctor on a Tuesday; she put me on meds and then told me to stay home from work for the rest of the week to rest; feel better ...

Well, I'm doing good, did eat a few potato chips yesterday, but in weighing this morning, it didn't show. I've been in so much pain; my left ankle is swollen and I'm constantly hurting, it's been like this for about 2 weeks now, and it's gotten to the point that I didn't go to Curves this week. Went to my doctor, who has ordered a sonogram of my left leg, and I will most likely have laser surgery on the veins in that leg. I had my other leg done about 2 years ago, and was told that I would need the other one done, but I kept putting it off, and now I'm paying the price. I did do my bike last night, no standing or pressure on the leg, so I was able to do that okay. It's big-time rainy over here on the East Coast; can't wait to go home and prop my leg up ...

Have a great day everyone, drink your water (like I'm doing today). This is a new day; we have been granted the Blessing of having each other here to lose weight with. No one is standing out, looking different, or feeling left out, like the overweight brother on the Loser show. We'll never get this opportunity again, so let's make the very best of it!! Luv you all, TTYL!

**reesemom** · April 15th, 2009, 07:06 PM

I to hope you get feeling better hat lady! i have not been doing very well it's been a tough few days. Plus it's the week before my tom and I eat and crave chocolate like crazy. I know I need to do better but some times its so hard for me. Hope everyone is doing well.

**hat-lady** · April 16th, 2009, 09:05 AM

Good morning!
LZ busy busy... you are really getting after it! I did not know there were still tops groups. I don't know if I have one locally or not. worth looking into.
Angie, So good to hear you are "perking" right along!
Val, Hope your leg gets better soon. I'm sure the discomfort is bad. keep up that great attitude. And yes, this is a great group of people. And I appreciate all of you.
Reesemom, don't be so hard on yourself. you will get into the swing of it.
We are here for you.
Donise, Ana and elemteach.. I know you guys are working toward your goals. (elemteach is doing testing at her schools, big week there)
I still feel like crawling into a hole, but am going to pill up in a few minutes and go to work anyway.
Everyone have a great day. Keep your eye on your goal. envision yourself already there. Be good to yourself and your goal will come to you. HL

LZ · April 16th, 2009, 10:16 AM

Good morning.

Hat Lady--hopefully you start feeling better soon. Nothing worse than feeling bad and being unable to crawl in that hole.

This week I have extra incentive. I am having a BBQ at my house Saturday (my B-day). This is a rare event and some of these folks have never been out here. Two girls I graduated with (in 1983) in Illinois are coming with their families. We live within an hour of each other and reconnected on FB.

So, I ate more than I should yesterday, but I biurned way over 1000 calories with all of the outside work I did. It is supposed to rain here this afternoon and tomorrow so I had to get pretty much done outside.

Val, bummer your ankle is hurting. Great job on keeping with the exercise on your bike.

Ang, I'll have to see if i can catch the Biggest Loser today. They rerun it quite a bit and I have been keeping up some this season.

Reesesmom, today is a new day. You can do it! "Nothing tastes better than being thin!" or so they say. Personally, I think chocolate is a close second!

Inside work today. Have a great, skinny day all!

**reesemom** · April 16th, 2009, 11:01 AM

HL and LZ thanks for the encouragement. Hope everybody has a great day. Im going to try and plan out my meals for the day and snacks. Im going to try and get a workout in at home because my 2yr old is sick so she is very ohnery. I want to try and catch up on some rest when she naps I was up with her most of the night so hopefully that will work out. Hope everyone has a good day.

**anadingding** · April 16th, 2009, 01:24 PM

Hi girls. Just checking in its about 9 am here in CA. Well I've been under allot of stress lately because I just don't know what route to go regarding my career. I will receive my Bachelor's in Human Services this July and will be graduating April 25th this year. YEY but I don't think its something that I want do. UUUG! I know I will be going straight to my Masters but I don't know in what. Sometimes I want get my Masters in Social Work, Education, MFT, or in Business Management. Those are all in my mind, but how do I chose? I don't know! any ADVICE would be appreciated.

Anyways, I just needed to vent! As far as my eating I'm doing pretty good. As far as exercising, I need more work! LOL

I've been reading the posts on this website on HCG shots! What do you girls think?

I wish I could watch Biggest Loser too! But I have class that night from 6pm to 10pm.

We have 3 more days until weigh In! So lady's get that exercise In! and eat healthy!

**hat-lady** · April 17th, 2009, 01:45 PM

Hello!
Everyone doing OK?
LZ That is so cool, blast from the past!! I hope you have good weather and a great time at your party!
Val? how is the leg?
Angie? Still perking along?
Reesemom? Thinking more positive, working your lists?
Drinking our water?

Last night I came home and resorted to comfort food. Oh well...

I feel like I am on the upswing today, or maybe its the weather. The sun is shining today, the first time in I don't know how long.
This morning before I did anything I went outside with the dog, the outside cat and DB ( dearly beloved) sat and had a cup of tea.
It was my simple pleasure today. Quiet, and reflective,

Now however, back to the rat race.
Keep working toward your goals.
I will need your weigh-ins Monday.
Enjoy something you love today.
Something that will feed your soul.

**msteacher** · April 17th, 2009, 04:34 PM

Hi, I am an 8th grade teacher, with a two year old daughter. My finace and I just bought our first home, and I am extremely excited. I started phen on Tuesday April 14

My start weight was 267.
Self Nurture goal-242 -25 lbs
100 crunches daily
1-mile on elliptical (working on increasing that)
Dr. Ian K. Smith's "the 4 day diet" (Starting tomorrow)

I have done this diet previously, and it seems to work. I was just craving other foods. I hope the phen helps with this. The diet does not work on calories or carbs. Dr. Smith designed his book around eating for a healthy lifestyle.

In the last two years I have found it hard to make time for my self. But I a in it to win it!!

**CDCreations** · April 17th, 2009, 06:40 PM

Originally Posted by msteacher

Hi, I am an 8th grade teacher, with a two year old daughter. My finace and I just bought our first home, and I am extremely excited. I started phen on Tuesday April 14

My start weight was 267.
Self Nurture goal-242 -25 lbs
100 crunches daily
1-mile on elliptical (working on increasing that)
Dr. Ian K. Smith's "the 4 day diet" (Starting tomorrow)

I have done this diet previously, and it seems to work. I was just craving other foods. I hope the phen helps with this. The diet does not work on calories or carbs. Dr. Smith designed his book around eating for a healthy lifestyle.

In the last two years I have found it hard to make time for my self. But I a in it to win it!!

Welcome msteacher! I am currently doing the Fat Smash Diet from Dr. Ian Smith, so we've got a great author in common! I went through the detox phase and lost a lot of weight, and am now in Phase II. I love his concept of eating right and healthy as opposed to counting calories and carbs -- it was the article in the Essence Magazine of the woman who lost 125 pounds that sold me on doing his plan; good luck, and keep us posted!

**CDCreations** · April 17th, 2009, 06:50 PM

Hello everyone! I had a crazy day so far today - went for my sonogram on my leg, got there promptly at 12 noon, and because of bad traffic, the technician was very late, so everyone's appointment was pushed forward, and I waited 2 hours before being seen!! I'm here at work now, and plan to be here a bit later to catch up on my work. The result is that I have a bad valve in my leg, and the major vein that runs through it is also bad, so I will definitely be having a procedure done. Going back to consult with the surgeon on Tuesday, and then I will be scheduled. Hope it is very soon because my swollen ankle hurts so bad. I'm concerned on what I'm going to do to keep up my aerobic activity when I am not able to use my leg, so I'll be throwing a pillow or ball back and forth with hubby to get a workout in; if anyone has other suggestions, I'd appreciate it!

Gotta go -- hello to everyone, and I'll be back on Monday with my weigh-in, have a great weekend everyone, and remember, water, water, water!!

**reesemom** · April 17th, 2009, 08:09 PM

CDCreation sorry to hear about your leg that is horrible. Were here for you! Today has been a pretty good day my kids had early day out so they have been home for the afternoon which makes it easier for me because they keep me busy. I hope everyone has a good evening.

**hat-lady** · April 18th, 2009, 09:50 AM

Welcome msteacher!
Ana glad you checked in!
Val!! oh my gosh! that sounds really bad! hang in there. You got to get that straightened out before the wedding!
LZ you probably won't mess with us today.. but Happy Birthday. and have a wonderfull visit your friends!
Angie... keep up your momentum!
reesemom, glad your hanging in there. Drink your water!! maybe add some lemon or lime to make it go down easier. It could be a treat for you, a couple of fresh lemons?
Donise and elemteach... we miss you?!!

Enjoy your day today, and stick to your plan.

**elemteach5** · April 18th, 2009, 10:52 AM

I have been so off track this week. I haven't even weighed. I've had my granson the whole week and we have been doing t-cap testing at school. It's just been very stressful, and I don't do well under stress.
Ohh yeah, I somehow managed to pull a muscle in my neck so I have been in some real pain on top of everything. I can't turn my head left or right. I'm just a mees right now I guess.

I promise to get back on track next week. I'm determined not to give up. I just need a good kick in the butt to get me going again. I'm going to do this!!!!