[Resmoo]

I did it again this morning - went to the Y and did circuit training beofre breakfast. I noticed yesterday I did have more energy throughout the day, so maybe I'm onto something here. I nver would have Never been able to get up early and workout in my former life...but now that my life is easier (I quit the rat race and opened an antique store). The phen and being sober (most of the time) helps, too.

Sorry if this makes you jealous...but yes, I am down 2 sizes (20-22 to 16-18) and have lost over 30 total inches. I know we tall ones always take longer for that to kick in - for some reason, it's working this time with me. The downside is that I am swimming in my bras now - I just had to go buy new 38Cs - nearly all my 40Ds are too big. I'm sad to see my boobs go - I rather liked them. Plus my hips (problem area) aren't shrinking as quickly.

I'll bet you are losing in places you just aren't noticing yet, like your face, neck, back, etc. Shoulders too. Try the CLA - I think it's helping firm me up.

It is very difficult to form new habits when you are not in your own space, making your own rules and buying your own food. I think that's another reason I'm having success this time around - because I work alone in my own store, and I am not pressured by fancy lunches, dinners, drinks after work, stupid office snacks, etc. I'm also poor now, so I can't wine and dine like I used to.

That was actually a funny moment the other day - an acquaintance noticed my weight loss and asked "What are you doing?" and I stammered, like Karen from Will & Grace would have, "...I'm...Poor!"

[tallnlovely]

Yes, I'm jealous, but I'm happy for you! 30 inches? Wow! Yeah, I have lost weight in my face cause that's the first thing people have noticed about me, especially on my myspace pic.
I can't wait til I can say I went down 2 sizes.
CLA huh? We have that at work. I'll have to grab a bottle. One of the ladies I work with said it really helps for her. How do u take it with your Phen again? I can't wait until Monday so I can get started again!

[Resmoo]

My pill regiment:

wake up - phen

1 hour later - breakfast and 1000 mg CLA

3 hours later - mini meal and 1000 mg CLA

3 hours later - mini meal and 1000 mg CLA

20 mins before dinner, 100 mg 5HTP
Dinner and 1000mg CLA

1/2 hour before bed 200 mg 5HTP


The 5HTP helps with appetite and sleep. I only need the added boost of more appetite control in the evening as the phen fades.

They say the optimal dose of CLA is 3.4 g, but the pills I have are 1000 mg so I take 3 or 4. Next time I'll buy them in different sizes.

You will be very happy with the results. My weight loss has "turboed" since the 2nd week of February when I added the CLA and 5HTP, and restarted phen after a 1-week break.

You can do this!

[Resmoo]

PS - I also take a One-A-Day Dieter's Formula multi-vitamin with breakfast.

[tallnlovely]

Well, tomorrow I start Phen again!
I really hope this week break helped. I'm trustin in you Resmoo! (As well as saying prayers to God). I really want to hit my goals. I have to get used to the fact that summer comes much quicker down here! I'm so used to that Chicago weather! Today it was warm enough to wear shorts n tshirts and ride with the windows down. Believe u me, I am not complaining,especially since i know there is snow all over up north But, today i realized that I do NOT want to go thru another summer FAT. Hell to tha Naw. Not this year.
So that was my boost of motivation for the day.

[Doodles]

Resmoo, thanks for the post letting me know where to find you guys.

I've read through the older postings, and it sounds like you guys have been busy. I bought some CLA and 5HTP and am going to follow your guidelines. I was surprised by how quickly the effects of the Phen seemed to diminish. I was sick all last week and didn't take the phen since I had so many other meds going through my system. Maybe a break was a good idea after all.

I thought (or I had hoped at least) that I had a full 2 or 3 months of help with appetite control. It was reassuring to hear you guys are going through the same thing. I also like the ideas you have mentioned to combat that. I haven't been great about exercising, but, with this Chicago weather... I know, no excuses, but come one, it's snowing AGAIN!!! You have inspired me to get up early to go to the gym. I am in school and by the end of the day I have zero energy left. In any case, even though it's not coming off as fast as I'd like, it is moving in the right direction.

I was curious to hear more about what you guys had as goals. Is it body fat %, BMI, a dress size, a college weight? I never have liked the size I was or the number on the scale, so, just wanted some feedback from other tall girls! Thanks.

[Resmoo]

Doodles, welcome back!

I too was suprised and disappointed that phen effects fade after just 4 weeks. The 5HTP helps, but the week off really proved significant when I went back on it. I was flying those first 5 days back on. Today is Tallnlovely's first day back on, she'll see...

Yes, this has got to be the worst Chicago February I can recall. Crappy weather never used to bother me, I've always prefered fall and early winter to hot humid summer. At first I thought I was just getting old - but this has been a brutal month.

Yesterday I went to Kiva (posh spa in the Ritz-Carlton). I had a gift certificate for an 80 minute massage...heaven! Nice reward, as I told the masseuse (sp), for having lost 25 pounds. Those skinny minnies don't give a ****. She was probably like, oh geez, an hour and a half with this jumbo broad...as she is used to all those gold coast rich, thin women. Too bad, I'm paying you, shut up and rub.

My first goal of feeling healthy has been met, and gets better everyday. I was really in bad shape 2 months ago - no energy, acid reflux disease, alcoholic. Now my goal is weight/size.

The dream goal is the college weight...156 is what I was most of sophomore and junior year. But it's 15-20 years later, and I'm taking this as it comes. Two years ago I was down to 194, and I looked good, but it was that awkward "plus sizes are too big, misses sizes are too small" place. So I want to blow past that and get comfortable down to a 12. So 175?

Tallnlovely, I read your Fall Off Wagon post on the main boards. Good for you to reach out and get encouragment - you will be back on the program in no time. Plus the high you'll get from starting phen, and your warm weather, will be motivating.

I also hope you (Doodles too) join the Magnificent Moves In March challenge, which starts tomorrow or Thursday. We are the Fab Fives in Feb group now. These women are awesome, it's really helped talking to them everyday.

[tallnlovely]

Hey Doodles! Welcome back.

Phen stinks sumtimes, but I guess one of my problems is that I started depending on it instead of thinking of it as a "tool" for my weightloss.
Resmoo, I can definitely tell the difference with the Phen. It is working. Unfortunately, I had a "fat moment" last night around midnite and had a burger n fries. That was kinda my low point that made me say "wtf is wrong with me? I need to get it together!" Cause I was not even hungry. But today I woke up and wrote down all my goals and how I plan to get there. I've started to focus on the numbers of the scale too much, instead of getting healthy and eating right.

The women on the Fall off the Bandwagon topic are really encouraging. I'm glad I'm not the only one.

My final goal is 175lbs. I've always thought of that number as being right for my height. I remember I read a book a long time ago with this lady who played volleyball in college and she was about 6'1", big boned, and a healthy 175lbs. I was like, "yeah... that sounds like a good number." I've never been that small. I remember being 165lbs in middle school and I thought I was fat. But that's because I was around 5'8, and in the 6th grade so being way taller than everyone can make you feel that way! Then I remember being 200lbs and 5'10 in 8th grade. But anyhoo, 175lbs would be my goal.

[Resmoo]

Tallnlovely, I've read through your bandwagon posts - I'm telling you, the support here is outstanding.

I was really moved by your honesty when you talked about the subconscious fear of success (and rejection). It is so true...I look back on failed relationships and dates and always took a sick comfort in thinking that "he thought I was fat." It was so much easier to swallow thinking everyone (including myself) was so shallow.

I'm sure this rings true for others in different aspects of life...the comfort blanket of being heavy might be a convenient excuse for not getting promoted at work, for example.

I've seen it in another scenario...my old college roommate has always been heavy. She was orphaned as a child, reluctantly raised by her 4 grandparents, and sexually abused by an uncle. Fat was her shield. She's fought many addictions - food, cigarettes, alcohol, pot, and crack. At the age of 36 she cleaned up her act, sought treatment, and began losing 100 pounds as well. It was like a rebirth, but she really had the hardest time accepting her new body. She dodged compliments, she was a turtle who's lost her shell. Once the size 14 were too loose, she panicked...having no clue where to shop, as Lane Bryant defined her style and choices for 25 years. But she's learning how to cope. She finally changed from a miserable job to a much better environment. Next she needs to leave her loser husband...grrrr. She still smokes, but is much healthier.

Anyway, my point is - many are addicted to Misery and Complacency - because what weighs you down (pun intended) is your security blanket and scapegoat. Without it, what would we have to do to survive and thrive? What would I do with my mental spare time if I wasn't always dieting and living at some future size in my mind?

Wow.

[tallnlovely]

Woooooow!
That was mind blowing to me. When I wrote that, I didn't realize so many people would understand. I was just letting it out. In a way I'm scared of being like your friend. Being thin is something I want so bad, but will I be able to handle it? I've trained my mentality to accept this body for years now. Funny thing is, I'm not that big. I think if I put a picture on here, some of the people that are bigger than I am would say, 'Girl! You're just fine!" But I'm not. I can't wear the things I wanna wear. I can't put on a bikini and go to the beach. I can't even wear cerrtain shirts with low cut jeans because of my love handles. Lol. I don't feel comfortable with myself. I give off this vibe that I'm confident and happy with everything in my life when I meet someone, but that confidence is truly half-hearted because I'm honestly sizing up and comparing myself to everyone I meet. I'm so tired of it! I'm tired of playing the "numbers game." The scale has been an issue in my life since the 3rd grade, when I used to take my mom's ab videos and do them because I was fat. I've been watching my mom go on and off and on and off a diet, and I picked up the same habit! (So did my older sister).

You know what I thought of last nite? I bet there are alot of overweight people that could really be personal trainers and nutritional doctors. What I mean by that is, in the search for a "miracle" diet or pill or plan, there is alot of information that is researched. There are women on here (including myself) that know so much about diet and fitness, that there should be no reason that we are overweight. That's why when I was writing in the Fall of the Bandwagon forum, I was talking about working on our minds. Many of us KNOW what to do, we just...don't. We want the miracle pills and the next fad that works the quickest. Then when that doesn't work, we give up until the next best thing comes around.

I know that's not everyone's case, but it is mine! I want to end this little cycle right now! March is going to be the starting point for the rest of my life. I'm going to write a challenge to put in the board if any of you want to join.

Thanks again! Man, you guys are great. We should have a National Phen party or something so we can meet and greet. Lol.

[Doodles]

You guys are so inspiring. It takes so much courage to be vulnerable and honest. Bravo! I can relate to everything you mentioned. I was in third grade, too, when I first realized I was fat; my older brother told me, in fact. Looking back at those pictures from my childhood, I can't believe I actually bought into it. In my own desperate attempts to win love, affection, and approval, I probably would have done anything though. Not so ironically, that's exactly when I started gaining weight, sneaking food, and hating my body and myself. I agree with you about the power of the scale. That's why I am looking for other ways to define "healthy".

My weight has been a way to isolate/insulate myself for almost 25 years. Yes, it is very scary to sometimes think about life without my security blanket. I did a lot of work on myself in the past year and am in a much better place mentally. I also found a wonderful man who loves what he sees on the inside. I feel like I am in a safe place and it's okay to finally come out of my shell. I really wanted it before now, but I just wasn't ready. I know all too well that cycle of success and failure. In the past, as soon as I started to look better/receive compliments/get any kind of attention from guys, the weight would pile back on faster than you could say Snickers. My support network is much stronger now. I have to say that this message board really helps, too. In the past I never would have reached out or opened up. I think that in and of itself makes a huge difference.

And maybe this is strange to say, but maybe we are lucky to have struggled with our weight. (There has to be some silver lining, right?!) I don't know about you guys, but for me, it has forced me to really get to know myself and examine a lot of underlying issues that I might not have otherwise. I guess all I am saying is that I truly don't regret the journey. I have made peace with it. At the same time though, I am ready for a new phase in my life!!!

Resmoo, I loved what you said: "What would I do with my mental spare time if I wasn't always dieting and living at some future size in my mind?" Now, that's some serious food for thought.

Well, I didn't mean to blather on, but it feels so good to talk about this stuff. Can you tell me more about this Magnificent Moves Challenge?

THANKS!!!

[Resmoo]

Sure. The Mag Move challenge is now up on the challenges board. It's really just a group of 8 or 10 women who set some goal or goals for the month, and just kinda talk about life and issues, as we're doing here. Most of us post everyday or every other day.

Check out Tallnlovely's challenge too - her concept is a continuation of what we've been talking about here...reprogramming our brains, looking into ourselves, etc. I love it and may play on both boards.

It does feel good to let loose on this stuff. And I agree with you that many of us with weight issues have an insight and wisdom that perhaps others do not. Makes us feel better to - like it was all worth it and life happens for a reason.

Also - like Tallnlovely said, we all probably know more about nutrition and health than people who have written books on the subject. Because we've read them ALL...