[Bulimic]

Hi. i am 38 years old and live in southern CA. However, with the internet its so cool that it doesn't matter where we live to connect with so many people. This is my first post. i have struggled with eating disorders - both anorexia and bulimia since high school. My struggle the past three or so years as been mainly with bulimia. i've been through so many treatment programs and under different doctor's care i don't really know that i will ever be free.

Anyway, i realize as we get older our metabaism slows down and i'm told i've really screwed mine up with all the various eating disorder behaviors. My therapist was not super happy about my decision to go on phentermine. i had a REALLY bad triggering experience over the weekend and the idea of weight loss meds came to me on Tuesday. i literally grabbed the yellow pages and went to the first doctor who could get me in, in the next 5 minutes. i've never felt so desperate. My therapist wasn't thrilled with my impulse decsion but accepts how i feel. i can't even tell my real doctor right now. i was also just about willing to restart some meds my doctor has been trying to get me to start again but i know i can't while on the phentermine so i am going to do this first.

i am so sick of being fat. i gained 60+ pounds since leaving the last residential treatment center is was in. i just hate myself this way. However, i know my thinking and it is really hard for me to do things in moderation. i am very black and white - all or nothing. That's what gets me in trouble with my eating disorders.

Anyway, i don't know if it was the horrible situation that happened to me or the phentermine i started a couple days later but i haven't b/p since last weekend and i still don't want to. Its so weird to go to a grocery store and not want to buy a bunch of binge foods. In fact, i'm having trouble getting myself to eat much of anything. i think part of that is just not feeling very well in general while first adjusting to this new med. i seem to be experiencing about every side effect i read about. However, i am going to stick it out and see if some of these side effects subside. i really want to try this. i know i can't really take it for the whole year i think it will take me to reach my goal but i want to use it as a jumpstart to build up my motivation and strength to do this on my own - in a healthy way. i can't just turn back to anorexia and compulsive exercise. i really want to do this the healthy way and not let myself get so obsessed - try to see things as not just black and white.

i only have fur kids - two australian shepherds. i am currently showing one in agiity, rally and obedience but she is almost 10 and while she is still feeling great i need to slowly start cutting back. i don't want to work her body too hard. Its going to be hard because she LOVES agility especially. i also have her half sister who will be 10 mos old tomorrow. She has been in puppy agility training since she was just 4 months old, has been tested to show strong herding instinct, and we just finally found a trainer good enoug to help me reach my very high goals for her. Still waiting to see if i will show her in conformation.

i have a horse that i don't ride anymoe. He's actually lived in a nice pasture since before i quit riding. i used to tack him up and ride to a local stable for private lessons. i had to stop when i started my first intensive eating disorder treatment several years ago and it really ****s. Now i am so fat and disgusting i literally cannot bring myself to go out there. i am so ashamed for anyone to see me. i miss him so much and sometimes can't stop crying thinking about him but i am too gross. Being this fat and gross also makes competing with my dogs very difficult. In fact, the event that triggered my decision to try phentermine occured at a dog show. i feel like i can't go back out until i lose A LOT of weight. However, again, i know i have to do it in a healthy way. No more treatment centers for me!!!

Okay, i guess this was a little much for an intro and i probably shared too much. If there is anyone out there, anywhere - i would love a weight loss buddy to help support and receive the same. It can make a HUGE difference!

Take care and i am SO glad i found this site!

[shiandgatlinsmom]

Hello.I am 32 years old and currently live in Arkansas. I am originally from southern california also(Bakersfield). I am trying to loose about 70 or 80 pounds. I have an appointment on the 7 so I will start then. Feel free to e-mail me anytime.

[IndianBUTTERFLY65]

I have read over this post several times, and I guess I feel compelled to write. I am a 41yr old woman who has suffered a great deal with Bulimia since I was 12yrs old. I didn't ask anyone for help until about a year ago...since then I have been PROACTIVE in my own recovery. It seems that there is thousands of books on the subject of ED...and of course there are millions of suggestions and opinions...amazingly there is very little acurate knowledge of ED! Phentermine is the ONLY thing that has free'd me from Bulimia. About 30 days ago I was put on Prozac as well. This seems to make the duration of the phentermine last longer without having to go up in mg. ED has been infused with every aspect of of my life...and enabled me to distort every situation I have ever delt with! I don't by any means think this pill alone saved my life...there are other things I incorperate. I wanted to stop what I was doing today and post you and incourage you! How are you doing with this drug? Can I help? Very sincerely, Tamy

[libra]

Hello ladies, well, I too have had an excessive run in with trying to lose weight, I am guilty of laxative abuse, I dont do it all the time but I do it when I binge, I take laxatives to cleanse it out, I use to try throwing it back up, but I just couldn't get with that, I think thats more of a emotional thing, where as trying to avoid being fat or gaining weight is physical.(just my opinion), It is hard, I know it is for me, because it seems if I dont lose weight I cant be happy, my world revolves around weightloss, I had been good all this week eating right,although very little, and exercising, but then someone gave me some good news, and I felt the need to make myself more happy by having some cake, then it just went wild from there, I ended up eating whatever looked good in my site, then I went to walgreens and bought two different laxatives, and took them right after each other to cleanse the food all out, so I still do it, just not alot