husband is now being a pain

[Julia Reaqzin]

My husband and I have been together for 8 years and After each kid I put on weight. Now that I'm done having kids I decided to loose the weight for good! I've been on phen for 4 weeks and lost 20 pounds. I thought my hubby would be happy but he's not. In fact he's now pushing me away except for sex. I don't get it! Would he rather have the over weight and unheathy person? :(

[MiSsJoLi]

Okay. Now I am not married, but maybe the problem is he is scared? Does that make sense? Have ya tried talking to him about it? Maybe you two can have a heart to heart and he will open up and let you know what is going on with him. When I say scared I mean that maytbe he is scared that you will lose the weight and wanna leave him? Is that too off the wall. It's just a wild guess. I could be WAY off...can we get some more info?

[MiSsJoLi]

Oh yeah...CONGRATS on the weight! You go girl!

[Julia Reaqzin]

Ya he might be scared but I was thin when I met him. Also he's done the cheating not me! Long story short he kissed an X of his when I was pregnant and 2 weeks before we were going to get married she asked him to leave me and his daughter to run off with her. He told her he would think about it and he never told me about it for months after we married. Also the girl he slept with because he was cofussed and we were not married yet!! So I don't know. :mad:

[Paula]

my take on husbands is:

they are only perfect when they are somebody else's (husband that is)

JK
LOL
=)

[marian]

Just have a heart to heart talk with him. Maybe he has a fear that once you lose this weight you will be looking as he did??? Who knows, but you need to definately communicate with him to resolve the problem.

[JacJac2001]

Julia Ive only been married 1.5 years and dont have any kids either. I have had read about people that would rather have people that they dont have to "worry" about loosing because of their appearance or other factors such as children because of past guilt resulting from infidelty or abuse. But again this is only in Therory and I have no personal experiance. Just a thought....

Jacqui

[jbaby]

ok, not to sound like an expert on this, but your husband is scared that you are going in a different direction, that if you feel good about yourself, you will see his "flaws" and not be so content. after all, heavy he may feel secure knowing you are faithful, as "who else would want her" kind of attitude. don't you let it get you to stop your goals. he will either love it eventually, or he can get lost. you must do this for you. i know, because my husband felt threatened at first, but now when he sees the results, he is so loving and supportive. good luck

[sguy]

Hi, I am new to the forum, and have only been using phentermine for 2 weeks, but I have a guess at what might be up with your husband. It's either like everyone else has said that it makes him insecure, or the fact that you are acheiving a goal of yours may be bothering him. Has he had trouble in the past acheiving goals? Men are very competitive, and the fact that you are succeeding may in his own mind point out his failures!! Just a thought!

[TonyMontanaOnE]

yeah screw all men, oh wait a minute im a man. I would say from my opinion that its a catch 22. He wants you to loose weight and look good, but then he doesnt want you to loose weight and look good and leave him. My sister experienced the same thing with her ex husband. He would always dog her about being overweight, but every time she would go on a diet he would dog her even more. So basically just keep loosing the weight for your own health reasons. Im sure he'll come to his senses sooner or later. Just let him know how you feel and reassure him on your intentions to loose weight is not to run off with the first guy that shows you some attention. Guys love reassurance.

[ December 29, 2001: Message edited by: TonyMontanaOnE ]

[gsleader]

I have to agree with Tony. MOST men are not sure what they want. My husband for example has been great through this whole thing. He complements me all the time and tells me I look good. But, he was afraid too. He thought once I lost all the weight I would leave him. I explained that from the first moment I laid eyes on him I was hooked and there never has been another and there never will be. We are getting ready to celebrate our 11th anniv. this coming year (feb. 6th 2002) and also my b-day and after we had this heart to heart he seems to be doing much better he still has his moments of doubt but what can you say he is a man (no offense Tony). The only thing he hates is that I am loosing in his most favorite part (the boobs). I told him if I didn't loose it there as well as my stomach I would topple over. LOL. Hope this helps.

Amy

[JaysPook]

My husband said, "You're not gonna lose too much weight are you? I want a wife, not a toothpick!" lol

[Julia Reaqzin]

Thanks guys!! I didn't know there was so many of us out there. I talked to my hubby and he said when I was thin I got lots of attention and he was concerned that the boys would take it a step to far!! Plus he likes the boobs too. Funny part those are the first to go.Anyway thanks!!
Bless Julia

[Lynn VG]

Men....
Cant live with em...
Cant kill em........