[Raquel]

To answer your question: " Does any body else deal with issues like this?"
Absolutely not. My kids, my way.

When I found out I was having twins (after being absolutely hystarical, lol) I asked specifically for one person to come up and help me. She is my husbands aunt. She and I weren't particularly close - but I handled the situation just like I did my career, if you don't know what's going on, get the best of who does to surround you.
This woman is the most nuturing, caring, multi-talented, handles stuff, mom and grandmom of any woman I knew of .. She of course was thrilled and accepted.
So then the flood gates opened with people wanting to help, be there etc.

It was the perfect opportunity for me to explain to them what their roll was in our world. Example, my MIL. I told her she is to enjoy her grandchildren, she is not the parents, so not to worry, we'll do the parenting responsibilities she is never to care for them including changing a diaper. But to enjoy them.
And that sets the tone for everyone else.

Like I said, I set the tone early on and just followed through with it and it's worked for all.

NOT to mention: Some people are just not with it, again I'll use my MIL as example: She has put the opportunites on a silver platter for me, time and time again - for me to say "Ohhh no grandma, we don't do _______________________________________________ (fill in a lot of irresponsible acts) because ______________________________________________ (fill in all the safety or smart reasons) So it's so easy to make her look like an idiot at any given time.

And I've done the same to others ... one person saying that she didn't take my tone personally because she knew I was sleep deprived.
Well sleep deprived I was .. but nevertheless I told her it was to be taken PERONSONALLY I personally told HER.
Sheesh ...

However having just typed out that little saga, I will say this ... I wouldn't argue with my parents or anyone I cared about over my children. I'd simply quietly take control of the situation and manipulate it to where they don't have much interaction with them unless it's how you want it to be.
My boys are 3 and they know "Moms way" and doesn't really matter what any one else does. Because I have them 99.9% of the time, no one else can influence them that much. We go to FL several times a year to see family and they are spoiled, it's all about what they want, blah blah blah ... I am on board and play along, but when we get home, it takes about 2 days for them to go through detox and back in the zone around here.
Anyway if I had a point I was making - it's not that sharp and with my Phen brain it's gone. LOL

But this is the important part - YOU DIDN'T eat, and that's great. You are learning new behaviors and how to deal with stress in another way ... KUDOS!