[disneybride]

Ok guys I know I'm a little late today but better late than never right? This has been a rotten, terrible, long day that I wish would just end already. I have been thinking long and hard lately about not going through with this wedding of mine. I know shocking right? Well don't get me wrong I love my fiance with all of my heart but something has got to give. We've been together for almost five years, and engaged for four of them. I always thought that he would grow up and mature more than he is, and focus on a career and everything. But none of that has happen yet, he is in a dead end job, I ask him what he is interested in for a career and he says the same thing every time "I don't know". So in the mean time I am busting me you know what to finish nursing school so that I can support him and a family that we will eventually have? I don't think so. I do the cooking, the cleaning, the laundry, work fulltime and go to school fulltime and I just can't take it anymore. On nights that I have off he usually doesn't stick around he usually goes over to his friend's house after dinner, and when he doesn't we sit and watch tv in silence. When I ask him what he's thinking about he says "nothing, I just don't have anything to talk about". I just don't know, there are qualities about him that I love but nothing is changing. He knows how I feel and just keeps telling me that things will get better and he will change but that never happens. Today I was so upset about all of this that I had to call out of work, and i never do that even when I'm sick.

ENOUGH VENTING.....

Breakfast- Multigrain Cheerios and water
Lunch- yogurt, water, apple
Dinner- Tuna sandwich, and water

Sorry I'm not going to everyone individually tonight, I'm just not in the mood to stay on the computer. I'm going to take a hot bath, put in a chic flick and go to bed. See you all tomorrow...... Thanks for understanding.