[Mom2Jack]

Sweetly.. It definitely takes a lot to do what you did by sharing your story, and it inspired me.. I searched for addiction in the forums and didn't find a thing until I saw your post.. Not many people know this about me, because I was so embarrassed, I always said that I would never do drugs.. but I did, and no one thinks that just one time will get them hooked, but it can.. I had a serious cocaine problem for a year or a little more.. I also dabbled in methampetamines. I never did want to smoke marijuana, or drink, it was just the speed. When I met Gary my life changed, I had something to look forward to everyday..Not that I did the drugs because I was depressed..it was the drugs that made me depressed, but I just could not stop.. I would actually get sick if I didn't. When I met Gary I can truly say he saved my life. I wanted to change for him, he had no idea, but eventually I think he caught on.. I wanted to stop so badly for him, that I dealt with the vomiting and shaking for about 2 weeks..and I haven't touched a thing since. It's been 3 years..just talking about it I almost crave it I guess, It's definitely gotten better with time though. Now, taking the Phen I get almost the same kinda feeling, but I've only been taking 1/2 of a 37.5 2 times a day. I had never heard of someone being addicted until I took it, then I thought to myself, anyone who has ever been addicted to any kind of speed or upper would definitely get hooked on this.. I have faith in myself, plus I have too much to lose if I let myself slip into something like that. I'm so excited about dropping the weight! Most of my weight gain came from stopping the cocaine, and starting to eat again probably.. After I quit I gained almost 70 lbs within a year.. then came the pregnancy about a year and a half later (sometime around then) so I have a long way to go to 145..145 would be great, but about 130 and I would be ecstatic!! I guess I originally did the cocaine, because it was almost like a glamourous drug.. I guess it's the most high class drug..if there is such a thing as a high class one, you know the rich and famous's drug of choice, and I knew it would make me lose weight.. silly I know considering I could probably have just went to the Doc and got something..but anyways I was definitely gullible, and naive back then.. Anyways, you know the story, everyone was doing it and said they felt great blah blah blah, I don't know why exactly it was that I went along with it.. I never was a follower, but I guess everyone has a dirty little secret.. this one being mine.. To this day I'm still so ashamed.. if my family knew, (which I think my mom kind of knew back then, and I think she was probably just about to take some action when I stopped)I would be so upset since I've always been a pretty good person, and they all talk about how wonderful I was as a teenager.. and everything.. it would hurt them to know the truth. So.. instead of going on and on..which I could forever.. (I'm such a talker..) I'll just say this, if I have to, I'll take my Phen when I'm supposed to, the amount I'm supposed to..and then have Gary take it, and hide it!! I don't think that I could let myself do anything stupid by taking too much, or becoming dependant on it, but you never know, I never thought that I would be the kinda person to do such a hard drug.. Right now though, I'm not at that point, but it has only been 2 or 3 days.. but if it gets to that point..if I even think about it.. Hopefully I'm a strong enough person to think about it, and realize that I can't do that!! I already told him last night, that I had read this post, and that someone had became addicted to it, and he told me pretty much that if he found out I took more than I was supposed to that he was taking it away! (what a nice guy huh?) But I am glad I have someone that cares about me enough to make sure that I live a long and healthy life! So, I'm really ending this now.. Good Luck to everyone that has had any problems.. you just have to set your thinking to make your mind stronger than you are. And hopefully I'll be shedding the pounds like all of you are here in just a few weeks! I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE SOME RESULTS!!