[GINNY]

WHY WHY WHY. iM SO FRICKEN SICK OF IT. SOMETIMES IM SO MOTIVATED AND WANT TO LOSE SO BAD AND SOMETIMES I JUST DONT CARE AND I BINGE AND LOSING ALL THIS WEIGHT IS SOMETHING I WANT SO SO SO SO BAD.... I KNOW WE ALL DO. WHY IS IT SO HARD TO KEEP GOING I DONT UNDERSTAND IT.SOMEDAYS ILL GO TO THE CLOTHING STORE AND ILL SEE ALL THESE CLOTHES I WANT TO WEAR AND ILL BE SO MOTIVATED AND ILL BE LIKE, THIS TIME NEXT YEAR I CAN WEAR WHAT I WANT AND THEN AFTER ABOUT 3 DAYS IT LIKE IT WEARS OFF YA KNOW WHAT IM SAYING. I DONT WANT IT TO WEAR OFF I JUST FEEL LIKE PULLING MY HAIR OUT OVER THIS STUPID FAT BODY.I WISH I COULD JUST GET HYPNOTIZED NOT TO EVEN THINK ABOUT FOOD. WHY CANT I JUST EAT TO STAY ALIVE INSTEAD OF CONSTANTLY THINKING ABOUT IT.I EAT OUT OF BEING BORED FOR ONE AND WHEN I GET UPSET I EAT AND WHEN I GET HAPPY I EAT.WHATS UP WITH THAT $HIT? I WISH I COULD GET MY TASTEBUDS REMOVED OR SOMETHING.EVEN THOUGH i HAVENT REALLY GAINED ANY WEIGHT IN OVER A YEAR I KNOW I CAN LOSE IT AND ITS POSSIBLE ITS NOT LIKE A DISEASE I CANT GET RID OF BUT IF I DONT LOSE THIS WEIGHT IT WILL PROBABLY TURN INTO DIABETES OR HEART DISEASE SOONER OR LATER. I AM HEALTHY FOR A FAT CHIC MY BLOOD SUGAR AND CHOLESTEROL AND TRIGLYCERIDES ETC ARE ALL GREAT BUT I HATE THIS FAT.WHY CANT I STAY MOTIVATED WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? I WANT TO POST A HALLOWEEN CHALLENGE I HAVE TO DO THIS I WANT SO BADLY TO LOSE 50 LBS BY CHRISTMAS AND 30 BY HALLOWEEN PLEASE HELP ME AND MOTIVATE ME PLEASE...