I tend to go on about my mother a bit too much. This is not the first post that i have mentioned my problems with her in.
I was always scared of her when i was a little girl because she could fly off the handle at any time..for instance one day when i was about 9 or 10 i came home from school and everything i owned was pulled out of my cupboards because she had looked in there and it wasnt tidy enough. Absolutly everything was pulled out and i had to put it all away again. I never knew if i would come home to a happy mum or to a snarling one. I used to hope she wold be at work that day (she is a nurse) so i didnt have to see her.
The funny thing is that if i tell her my problems she will be supportive in her responses to me...but she really isnt interested in being involved with me and my kids as you would expect her to be.She lives 10 mins away but we rarely see her.
Except recently...shes called in unexpectedly a few times sometimes with my dad. She never calls first to see if we are home..sometimes we are in bed or having a meal..so i asked her if she would mind giving us a call next time..just to make sure its a good time for us. I was really careful how i said it to her...but now she is really angry about it. But it is something i feel very strongly about..i NEVER go to anyones home without calling first. And i think my mother is just trying to call the shots by doing this..she just turns up and walks in the door..doesnt knock..if the front door is locked she'll go round the back and just walk in.
So...there i went again...i have some really big issues about my mother....but tell me this someone...why do i feel so guilty about it?? Like i am just an ungrateful daughter.
|